years
of shedding tears

remembering

you walking out the door

many nights of walking the floor
with the memories of how we were before

it's been twenty years
of being on my own
so many
since
i have known
none
making it to my home

it's been twenty years
of alone
of waiting by the phone
of disappointing moans
of the possabilites thrown

it's been twenty years
of wondering
if I cross their mind
like they do mine
of waiting for the smallest sign

it's been twenty years
of my deepest fear
year after year
that the end is near
my hopes will disappear
i again will never hear

it's been twenty years
of pain
of taking all the blame
Mark Tilford Nov 14
hopeless
full of dread
not looking ahead
safe
by covering my head
with the spread
the past it last
and it last
years
doing the math
in a flash
my mind
my thoughts
they clash
main stream
I have relieved
my heart I have squeezed
nothing left
to bleed
alone with just me
and the past
it last and
it last
why
i ask
i have crashed
i no longer laugh
on any behalf

at the time of my death
at my bedside
the past
Mark Tilford Oct 7
the weapon lay at my side
the hand written guide
i do not think
to decide
no divide
not mortified
or
horrified
thoughts, justified
the black crow
flies
slowly shutting the eyes
the light subsides
i
die
do not ask why
Mark Tilford Sep 22
I do not need my heart anymore
I am standing in front of two doors
I will not be living anymore

Walking through
Into the darkness
To the afterlife

Which door will I reach for

One will lead to the light
One will lead to the night

It is so quite here
I am on my own
Alone

Heaven there are no lies
**** nothing but cries

Which one
The gun
It has begun
I cannot run

The sun

At the door
Mark Tilford Sep 13
That we never loose sight

That we always believe
We remember it is not about me
I pray
We never forget what will be, will be
That love is the key
He or she
It's free
I pray
That we do not forget when we were alone
And
We do not forget
the people that have no home
or the people we have known
I pray
We remember we all have the need
And
We do not forget that all
HEARTS BLEED
And it is so easy to mislead
I pray
That we see the face
not the race
And
We never forget all is deserving of a place
in this space
I pray
It is not to late to save this world
from these trying times
And
We stop crossing the line
We open our eyes and stop
being so blind
I pray
We start
with
being kind
!!
Mark Tilford Aug 25
when there is no light
and
it is quite
i will be able to dream
silencing my screams
stopping my cries
for you

at night
when there is no light
and
it is quite
in my dreams
i will not be lonely
there you are again
my only

at night
when there is no light
and
it is quite
i will dream
it is so real
your love
again i can feel

at night
when there is no light
and
it is quite
in my dream
you appear
you are so clear

at night
when there is no light
and
it is quite
a breath i will not take
from my dream
i will not
wake
Mark Tilford Aug 25
i check my pockets
i am out of dimes

may i borrow a dime
to buy more time
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