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Dec 2018 · 541
Top 2%
A Flowered Tux Dec 2018
I am the best of the best,
and you can put it to the test
but you will find
that only I am sublime.

Yet, why do I feel this way,
angry and repressed
tired and distressed.
Irritation is my constant state.
and it is increasing at an alarming rate.

Maybe if I could just null the emotion,
To sink beneath the waves of ocean,
To get lost in all the commotion,
To fall in love with self-devotion,
but, no,
forget I even made the notion,
of doing something like letting go.

For it's too easy a way out,
and I will not leave a doubt
that I am here to stay,
much to my own dismay.

Why?
Because, I am the best of the best.
And I have put that to the test.
for better or worse,
my intelligence is a curse.
What it's like to be in the top 2% in high school class standing.
Aug 2018 · 620
a Tree in a Storm
A Flowered Tux Aug 2018
I wonder what it's like
to be a tree in a storm.
To have settled roots,
that hold you steady.
To have grown so high,
and progressed so much.

I wonder what  it's like
to be a tree in a storm.
Having to bend and lean
with the comings of the wind.
Having to feel parts of you
leave.

I wonder what it's like
to be a tree in a storm.
Everything could be taken
with a single bolt of passion.
Or to have to be on edge
for the hurricane season.

I live the life
of a tree in the storm.
But, I must say, it's worth it all
just for the thrill of the fall.
Storm came by and, well, the fall was fun.
May 2018 · 437
Love Like a Tide
A Flowered Tux May 2018
What am I going to do?
I am too deeply in love with you.
I'm drowning, darling.
I'm dehydrated love.
I feel sick and giddy all at once
but, I feel like such a dunce
for thinking you were ready for me.
I was so full of glee.
But, sadly, we were not meant to be.
Inspiration from the ocean and Pinterest.
A Flowered Tux May 2018
Two Heart breakers, standing in a room
One that you didn't suspect,
she's just starting to bloom.
And the other is what you expected,
making every heart go boom.

One never gave others a choice.
She hides information behind a knowing smirk
Her smile can turn any heart twords her.
Little did they know that a siren's song can lurk
In the sweetest of voices.

The other caused explosions
and it was only after the boom did they realize
that the aftermath was not worth the thrill of the fall.
They look around say with cries,
"I was never really chosen!"

Those two Heart breakers start to grow close,
giving the other what they require the most
of what they had to offer
Neither one seems to know
that they hold the others love.

The one who causes explosions of lust
is the first to fall
she got attached to quickly
the other wasn't ready.
So, she decided waiting wasn't for her
and moved off from the cliff's edge
to find another.

The one going into bloom
fell too late.
She missed the deadline and was so close.
But, the other had already moved on.
So, she moves on but left apart of her behind.
Because you never know when she might return.

The bloomer is now a flower.
The explosions have become dust.
They both have continued on but
keep going in circles around that edge.

Will they fall down together?
Or will they go their separate ways again?
One is too unpredictable and wild.
The other is too prepared and tame.
Maybe they will meet at this cliff's edge again.
Fall with me darling, fall and hope we'll grow wings and fly.
Apr 2018 · 370
Stepping on Broken Hearts
A Flowered Tux Apr 2018
You know, I've started getting used to it.
The expertise came slowly, bit by bit.
The way their eyes look when the heart breaks.
Honestly, I've turned it into something of an art.
Because, another person confessed their love today,
and how on earth am I supposed to convey
that I don't want to be tied down by anyone?
One for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, Go Girl, Go!
Apr 2018 · 372
Strength
A Flowered Tux Apr 2018
I am a strong
but, man... that day broke me
don't get me wrong, i picked myself back up and glued myself together
but
just because the glue hardened doesn't mean the cracks disappeared
I had to do it
There was no choice
you couldn't see it but i could because i was raised to look ahead
both a blessing and a curse
im so glad you were the first
but i wish i hadn't have broken it up like i did
i need to be strong
i need to be happy
i need to be a heartbreaker
because darling,
that was what i was made to do
to strip lungs of breath
to leave minds wondering and imaginations whirling
to make people ache for my touch
we would never have lasted longer than we did
because like it or not i grew bored
but i am strong enough to resist
strong enough to give you those last weeks of happiness
strong enough to allow you to recover in private
but i wasn't strong enough to not break in the process of breaking you

-The first and definitely not the last
My first breakup.
A Flowered Tux Apr 2018
"I love you," a kind soul said.
"Don't do that to yourself," I replied.
"I take that love and use it for personal gain. Then once I'm done I throw you away, for who keeps the spare parts? I'll let you fill that void inside me for a little while and keep myself warm against the harsh and cold winter. I'll let you 'love' me then, just to be cruel, I'll drop you. You'll be sad and wonder, 'How could she?' or 'What did I do?' You didn't do a thing darling, I just grew tired and it was getting too hot for me (maybe i was getting attached we'll never know). So, ya, don't do that to yourself."
How to be a heartbreaker.
Apr 2018 · 318
The Devil's Fall
A Flowered Tux Apr 2018
I can hear the drumming of a thousand men.
Though I can't place where or when.
They're beneath me, on the earth that is coming fast.
There is a deep baritone humming
that is actually quite becoming.
Maybe this world won't be so bad.
Here it comes, but why do I feel so sad?

Wait, no, why am I beneath the crust?
I want to go back up, these people here I don't trust.
I am still falling, ******* it, it's too hot.
Why God? Why do you did you turn my heaven to hell?
Looks like the only one I couldn't trust
was you.

I will win in the end.
Even if i must make every being bend
so they can kneel to my whims and rules.
For you have wronged me
and I will welcome those who have wronged you.
The Devil was betrayed with a fake promise and a too harsh punishment.
Apr 2018 · 485
Unstable
A Flowered Tux Apr 2018
I love the lightning
It's so unpredictable,
am I still alive?

Because I wonder,
if it's meant to shock me
into waking up.
Haiku's.
Apr 2018 · 374
Sequal to Masquerade Ball
A Flowered Tux Apr 2018
Twinkle, twinkle little star
Why are you so very far?
The brightest one in the sky,
Don't leave me and say goodbye!
The people here are oh so fake,
they make my insides hurt and ache.

Twinkle, twinkle little star
my lungs are filling up with tar
I always feel as though I'll cry,
This mask can really help me lie
when can I get a break,
they all just seem to take and take.

Twinkle, twinkle little star,
this mask is just one big scar.
Why must I hide what I am for the sake of people.
Apr 2018 · 334
The River Flows
A Flowered Tux Apr 2018
The river continues to flow,
it's banks crying even though,
the water isn't in control
and no one can console
tears that fall on deaf ears.

I wish that you could know,
that once I was able to glow,
but you left and now my soul,
feels like a lump of coal.
Oh!, how I wish that you were near.
This was for a class I had and wanted to share it with you.
Apr 2018 · 295
Waiting Game; Sequal
A Flowered Tux Apr 2018
How I hate the waiting game!
It is just such a pain,
Being forced to be tame
for these people who are plain.

These seeds I've planted better bloom
but a winter freeze seems to loom,
right over my head.
Am I better off dead?
Hell no, I am not weak,
and nor am I meek.
So, for now, here I will stay,
Till my turn is at play.
Bird With No Cage, I can only wait so long.
Apr 2018 · 221
HeartAche
A Flowered Tux Apr 2018
I wish I was a hearbreaker.
Then My heart would be less likely to break.
It's the truth.
Apr 2018 · 381
My Funeral
A Flowered Tux Apr 2018
If I were to die today,
I know what people will say
"She was this," and "She was that,"
But, I hope they're as cold as ice
because I was nothing but nice
to those who i felt derserved
to be in my mind forever preserved

but to get that high is quite hard
for the doors and windows are barred
and i'm curious to see as to who
you will see crying in a church pew
those that shed tears you'll know are lying
and the ones who are real will sit there defying
what they know there supposed to do
simply because i asked them to

-the not so dead girl
Why must you lie by crying?
Apr 2018 · 625
The Waiting Game
A Flowered Tux Apr 2018
I could have had you.
I was so close.
But, I didn't want you to be #2.
For, you are a rose,
and no rose worthy of my time,
who managed to make it into my rhyme,
would ever be allowed to be a #2.

So now it's just the waiting game.
I wish I could give you all the blame.
So that you can finally leave my mind,
I don't even care if it makes me blind.
but, I like you too much for that.
To let you leave so easily.
I hope you can believe me
When I say, "I like you."

But don't worry, honey.
I'll make it to you eventually,
so for now, I'll learn to kiss.
I'll learn to make love.
I will learn to strip lungs of breath.
And it will all be for you darling.

Because, I'm playing the waiting game.
and I cannot wait till it's my turn.
This is for the bird with no cage.
Mar 2018 · 374
Middle School Girls
A Flowered Tux Mar 2018
There is the one girl that speaks
And when she is at her peak
You sit and think about everything you missed
or the people who coexist
But its towards the end of her speech you’ll cry
Trust me you will never find out why
You might look back and realize
That every word she said was a lie.  
-the one who spoke in sunsets
Then comes the one that thinks
She’ll think even when on the brink
Of mental insanity
Oh the humanity!
What will happen to her?
She only sees the blur
Of what her life could be
If only she were able to see
-the one who needs glasses
I felt bad for the invisible
The one who was never able
To make herself feel seen
Maybe I was just mean,
But no matter
She was only a scatter
Of what made a personality
Unfortunately, hers lacked finality.
-the one who I thought I knew
The one who felt
Was who I got dealt,
I saw her at my lunch table,
And wondered if she were stable.
Her eyes sparkled a delicate no.
She was always able to bestow
Emotions of what she wanted onto others,
She never was able to recover
Once they left out the front door
With her lying on the dance floor.
-the one I left on the dance floor
Finally, there is me,
For so long I was lost at sea
But I came back to shore
And Oh!, I just adore
What I have become!
I don’t want this to be done.
I refuse to go back to how I once was
Because
Lies I can never untell,
Because
I’ll never forgot my mother’s face
Because that was never who I wanted to be
And all three years were agony.
      -the poet who wished for better
This poem is really personal to me. This describes who was in my life when it was a really bad time for me.
Mar 2018 · 483
Masquerade Ball
A Flowered Tux Mar 2018
One-Two-Three-One-Two-Three
These are the steps I take
One-Two-Three-One-Two-Three
At the Masquerade Ball!
One-Two-Three-One-Two-Three
I hope that I will wake,
One-Two-Three-One-Two-Three
before my smile is stitched on.

The mask I wear is oh so pretty,
that no on can turn away.
If only they knew behind all the glitter
that my heart is feeling quite bitter,
at the fact that I must always pay
for being without some pity.

Smile and nod, smile and nod,
is what my parents say.
Smile and nod, smile and nod,
and it will all be okay!

Oh mama, papa,
you know that to be untrue,
for I as your daughter
saw the reception,
and your faces looked so blue.
-the daughter of a monarch
If you stand for too long little girl you might faint.
Mar 2018 · 355
____________________
A Flowered Tux Mar 2018
How could anything be so tall?
I wonder if she is trying
to meet everyones expectations?
They don't even bother
to learn her limitations.
How do people have the gaul,
to build her up by lying?

When do they stop
and think if she will fall?
or will she drop
with a wrecking ball?
Nothing left but the foundation.
To heal her broken nation.

Her poor heart is dying,
because she sends so many to the top
through sweat, tears and crying
all just to stall
an end that is terrifying.

- The Statue of Liberty
Lady Liberty, Oh So fair, please do not let this wretched country tear you apart!
Mar 2018 · 247
The Bird With No Cage
A Flowered Tux Mar 2018
I want to
I really really do.
To call you mine
would be sublime
But I know better
than to try and tether
your wings to the ground
for then we would be bound
to hate each other
so now, I am forced to smother
this affection I feel for you

-we can never be
I think we'll stay as friends.
Mar 2018 · 428
My Dog
A Flowered Tux Mar 2018
Everytime I see my dog
my heart seems to clog
with this emotion we call love.
It just soars like a dove,
but if she went away,
I would not last another day.

I cannot say in dialogue
how I hope for an epilogue
that can get rid of,
or better yet shove,
this goodby that I won't let stay
and just keep it forever at bay.
I really like my dog.
Mar 2018 · 524
Siren
A Flowered Tux Mar 2018
My tongue feels like lead.
There is a buzzing in my head.
Th lights are too bright,
It's too late in the night,
I just want to leave,
Can you even believe
that I am on a boat?
I'm not supossed to float!
But now I must sing,
for only I can bring
A calm to the sea
These sailors are looking at me
with a new found clarity.
For I can bring them prosperity
all because of my shimmering tail.
But don't worry for I will prevail.
Because with the shinning of the moon.
I will bring them all their doom.
Sometimes I feel trapped with no way out then I remember I have claws.

— The End —