In bed, I lay
upon my cushioned existence I stay
but outside the world's at play
birds swimming in the sky
and trees that gently sway
dancing the day away
and I continue to lie
the distant sounds
of yawning grounds
two parched lips
as the Earth does rip
let the rain come
so we may take a sip
heavens nectar
falls upon a discarded deckchair
striped like candy cane
blotched with the rain
scattered upon sandy dunes
could this be a monsoon
ironically late
but still worth the wait
paid patience admission at the gate
one ticket to wet wet wet
this is what patience gets
just need a raincoat
so I can appear in the matrix
how can you hate this
a neopolitan sky
dripping with colour
if I were a scholar
I could espouse on its many virtues
instead, I turn up my collar
and tip my hat
a little milk won't hurt you
an umbrella swung round a lamppost
and now I'm Gene Kelly
still wearing a raincoat
but dancing
romancing the moonlight
for night has snuck in the back door
like an absent teenager
but this too shall pass
soon the dunes turn to grass
and I too return to task
a new day
at play.

A girl stood before me at the supermarket
a few random items littered her basket
pink socks poked out from her sneakers
they were covered with little creatures
an inch of flesh stood between
those ankle high socks and her jeans.

Nice socks I exclaimed!
she turned around inflamed
looked at me and said
I have a boyfriend
her face now red.

Are they his I asked?
her face broke into a laugh
sorry I got so defensive
guys make me apprehensive
I don't really have a boyfriend
sometimes I just like to pretend.

*I know how you feel I replied
in embarrassment I've often lied
and whenever I'm struck by beauty
of someone new I meet
I can't look directly at them
I look towards their feet.

So tired of this feeling
so tired of just being
so tired of thy place
so tired of my face
so tired of frustration
so tired of humiliation
so tired of instant anger
so tired of constant hunger
so tired of feeble jealousy
so tired of peoples infidelity
so tired of running away
so tired of not knowing what to say
so tired of yo yo emotions
so tired of no go solutions
so tired of being tired
so tired of how my brain's wired
so tired of over thinking
so tired of sober drinking
so tired of appeasing obsessions
so tired of these possessions
so tired of saying no
so tired of staying home
so tired of praying alone
so tired of making excuses
so tired of feeling useless
so tired of restless nights
so tired of this pointless plight
so tired of facing fears
so tired or racing tears
so tired of panic attackss
so tired I can't relax
so tired of anxiety
I guess I'm just tired of me.

Let me just lay here
and count the raindrops
they remind me of tears
that never stopped
running down the window pane
why do we run if we've already lost?
I've never felt that much pain
or paid a higher cost
to loose a love like a missing sock
now I'm oddly paired
and out of luck
oh how I despaired
and buried my head
hoping the wind would carry the sand
no longer to be wed
no reason to wear the band
a reminder cast in solid gold
a useless trinket
an empty hole
a broken promise
has passed her lips
no granted wish
will ever be his
all that's left is an odd sock
and a broken heart
is what she took.

I dream of innocence
of days long spent
beneath summers sun
a Carpenters son
and royal daughter
a Queen and a martyr
one girl one boy
eyes fuse like alloy
caught in a sudden trance
a courtship dance
loves hypnotic rituals
of star filled visuals
white lights against black night
white Knight versus black Knight
this is now a game of chess
strategizing what to do next.

Three is a crowd
how I wish he wasn't around
your first mistake
so I sit and wait
for the nightmare to be over
for my Knights mare to save her
I already know the pain she's due
it's as old as the sun, this rain isn't new
nothing washes away infidelities sinning
nothing can make them white sheets of linen
once innocence is lost like paradise
if only you took another roll at the dice
maybe fate is predetermined numbers
and maybe innocence only exists in slumber
maybe it was lost at birth
maybe it's just an ancient curse
inherited from days long ago
maybe we were never white as snow.

But still I have this martyrs cause
yet still I never really give pause
the Knight that sacrifices for his Queen
for he has already witnessed all to be seen
history repeating itself
Déjà vu sapping our health
reincarnated pain
can the black Knight ever be slain?
or is it just another side of the coin
everyone is still curtain drawing
hiding from the dark
the day that's lost its spark
black night only masks the sun
black Knight versus the Carpenters son
but white lights appear in the sky
the white night is there when we die
when our numbers finally up
when our slumber finally stops
the ending of the night
maybe we aren't really Knights
maybe we are all just pawns
so innocence can be reborn.

Maybe I needed words to confirm
whisper them when it's your turn
mouth me from across the room
E-L-E-P-H-A-N-T J-U-I-C-E
is the same as I love you
deceive me with mammals
as I play piano
pouring my heart upon the keys
do with me as you please
"I'm yours, I'm yours"
rings out the chorus
the deafening silence
of love unrequited.

A boomerang that doesn't come back
a runaway train on broken tracks
maybe I should have held onto words
not listened to the singing birds
that told me you felt the same
how could I believe your heart was tamed
for I am no ringmaster
a gazelle that's wandered into foreign pastures
I was your prey
yet I was bold
for the words I say
are seldom told
with such earnest longing
so behold
I L-O-V-E Y-O-U

Always thinking
what am I thinking?
lets start writing
should be sleeping
why am I thinking?
I need to sleep now
bored of sheep, lets try cows
maybe I should count the spots
or connect the dots
of my thoughts....

Dalmatians are the cow canine
ten, eleven, twelve
deeper I delve
sleeper I'm not
wide awake, no
half baked dough
money makes the world go round
funny how it doesn't make a sound
yet people are so loud
it's not needed
nod your head when greeted
nod your head when agreeing
or leaving, deceiving, grieving
maybe thats bowing
bow your head when grieving
Robin Hood had merry men
and they were thieving
still need to be sleeping
dreaming........

If only I could dream of you
as we sail the ocean blue
you would get sea sick
and I would drown quick
this is how my dreams end
much like our relationship
conscious thoughts
maligned with nonsense fraughts
I fraught of you today
tonight, this night
every night
you my light
my darkness
my rainbow
tied around your neck
so delicate
a pretty little thing
no tongue ring yet
butterflies
toast lands sunny side
glass half empty
I'm half fool
a joker in the pack
Batman that's a fact
I only come out at night
your caped crusader
I tried to save her
but the current dragged her under
she now resides in the depths of my mind
a shipwreck
my Mary Rose
how I loved your eyes and nose
and everything attached
did I remember to put the door on the latch?
turn off the oven
come give me loving
and affection
Marvin Gaye, Joan Armatrading
sing to me so I can sleep
sheep, cow, dalmatian, sheep..........

Just turned sixteen
a rage of hormones
erogenous zones
no more sexting
or wet dreams
your sixteen
you have our permission
to give in to your impulses
full submission
your pulse races
no more wishing
release your inhibitions
but before you do hold up and listen.

You can't drink and drive
yet you can think of life
for now any thought you conceive
can legally achieve
a new life you can breed
Should anyone so young have this much power?
to class it as fun and be deflowered
just because you can attain an *******
stand to attention
gives you the right to create perfection?
- when love isn't even mentioned.

Should we raise the age limit?
Would teenage pregnancies plummet?
but you say
they will still do it anyway
regardless
they couldn't care less
do you blame parents?
- or carers?
Maybe we need
a better educational system
to teach them.

It’s the media that feeds
into the body image
a consistent mirage
a constant barrage
of so called celebrities
having *** on TV
With the skinny waist
fake *****
and high heels
what a waste,
you choose
how you feel.

Take time to pause
and hold onto what’s yours
for once lost
you will pay its cost
your virginity
is its own currency
people will value you more
or label you a *****
a ****, a slapper
a used ****** wrapper
go ahead tap her
she doesn't care
what you wear
or if you marry
take her cherry.

Just because it has a secondary function
doesn't mean you have to use your junk son.
the next time you get an *******
steer your mind in another direction
or at least use protection
so you don't spread STD's by infection
having *** so young can be tragic
take the time to think
or you may later regret it.

Don't give into peer pressure
Don’t use others as your measure
have *** at your leisure
when its your pleasure
when you're ready
not just because you've been going steady
protect your innocence
remain a princess
pretty in pink
abhor red
so think first
before bed.

All the passers by stop and stare
at the girl with the sparklers in her hair
a crown adorned with precious jewels
to blind those mere mortal fools
as many men have laid at her feet
to form a blanket on the ground
but her Prince shes yet to meet
her true love has not been found
the one that will look past the glitter
and see the sparkle from within
this one will remain with her
through this turbulent life of sin.

words at most
are sign posts
never touching
what's real
minds watching
yearning to feel
and at least
the beasts
of burden
I'm sorry
i beg your pardon
i didn't mean those words
that cut to the bone
the words said in anguish
the words that you moan
love has its own language
that communicates by touch
you speak to me
you tell me so much
the words I weave
are a cry for help
please don't leave
this is what I felt
fault lines through and through
cracks in my sentences
words no longer the glue
the endless relentlessness
of thoughts
circling like sharks
they haunt
my deepest parts
the weakest heart
pumping out words
of dread
this is what I said
you said
the words that line our bed
sleeping on novels
we are apostles
of language
tell me how you manage
all your words
how do you discard them
with such ease
no gratitude
no need
your smile
sells more
empty words
than I could ever write
I'm never right
how could I be
when words are all I see
so please
use your lips
to silence my sentences
wrap your tongue
around my words
i promise you some
you've never heard.

Words are dead!
there I said it
words are dead
the words in your head
are in the past
the words that you said
will not last
fireworks that attract the eye
liar's words in the mind
an explosion of language
and then silence
they do so much damage
and cause violence
chasing words
feeling tiredness
healing words
are band-aids on the soul
a soothing to the ears
they're dropped in empty holes
for who hears?
who really listens?
words are dead
we have visions
images of creation
words are no salvation
just pointers
pointing to the infinite
still they loiter
words we can't forget
we hold them to our chest
like lifeless children
we always do our best
but the words **** them
and now all that's left
is dead...
dead words.

I wonder how some people's brains work
why their bodies twist and twerk
is it all just attention seeking
and what the hell is fleeking?
now I'm not one to sit and judge
because I never passed the bar
without stopping to get drunk
not quite down in one
more like two below par
this is when you begin people watching
a popular pub past time
I saw a guy who was pork scratching
which certainly put me off mine
a barmaid stood there ready to serve
who just wanted some peace and quiet
but the men they formed a queue to perve
she almost caused a riot
now I guess I am just another fool
that's drinking after hours
barely balancing upon a stool
trying to maintain his mental powers
from the far corner, a drunk begins to sing
before collapsing on the floor
just as the last order bell rings
maybe I'll have another
I only drank two or was it four?

They say love is blind
for it's only now the truth do I find
that you are with someone else
because of your ill health
and yet I have only been loyal
so our relationship I didn't spoil
but you were willing to give it up
to drink from someone else's cup.

Was it because I wasn't good enough?
or just because you didn't want my love?
I would have done anything
just to call you mine
I stood by you through everything
and yet still with someone else you choose to dine.

Well I hope he loves you as much as me
for its only through my eyes could he see
how deep are your scars
but still remain as beautiful as you are
I hope he chooses not to fleet
once he gets you between the sheets
for your worth more than any precious gem
to give away yourself so cheap.

Which is why I still try to defend
your very soul
still pray for you every night
still play my role
even though you remain out of sight
I still try to be so kind
still think of you as mine
because love really is so blind.

The silence it deafens me
with violence they threaten me
to carry me off to an asylum
unless I can provide them
with an ulterior motive
till I hand in my notice
relinquish the chains upon my bed
the fiendish brain inside my head
deviously plotting my own demise
take leave from this place to warmer tides
bathe my body beneath calmer skies
naked like the day I drew breath
naked as I stare upon death
one hand holding a crooked scythe
the other beckoning to me, my life
did you forget to count the die?
or forgo the countless lies
that made the Countess cry
neither man nor mystery could change her path
so it's left to me to rearrange the past
jigsaw pieces scattered upon my pillow
connecting dots to draw the willow
who could forget the weeping widow
that cried herself to sleep.

I never left you
I was always near
I never flew
your voice I did hear
sometimes as an echo
or scrawled across a page
for not once did I let go
with the anger and the rage
I was always out in front
or standing by your side
not far did you have to hunt
for me to confide
you may think that I had gone
to attend to my wounds
but you would have been wrong
whenever I leave will be too soon.

If I were a cloud drifting through space
I would never feel scared or out of place
I would float for days high in the sky
I would never need to question why
the sun would shine bright and I would glow
for all people to see far below
and when the rain came I wouldn't care
as it was tears of joy I tried to share.

How fragile the butterfly
as it dances in the sky
trying to find its way home
to a place not carved of stone
soon all this will be dust
so it asks what's all the fuss?
what is all the fighting for?
silly soldiers and their wars
silly man and his laws
the only law is mother nature
for no man can escape her
she who birthed us all
she who waits when we fall
for how the mighty will crumble
as the fools they do stumble
upon the stolen hands of time
each of them suffering for their crimes
and yet the butterfly it worries not
for all that it is, is all that it's got
beauty set upon wings
it's beauty that truly sings.

Our birthplace is the heavens
we were born in the stars
from the tiny atoms
we became what we are.

How beautiful our complexity
how wonderfully made
how intrinsic our simplicity
how slowly we fade.

Watch us race across the skyline
watch us burn so bright
watch it records time
as we count down the light.

How many moons will pass
till we return to stardust
I'm too afraid to ask
yet return we still must.

For we are the universe
the Earth, Sun and Moon
everything will eventually pass
as soldiers die at noon.

*Eye for an eye
ashes to ashes
why do we cry?
everything passes
passes us by..
passengers of life...

Real beauty only lasts a while
like a fading sunset
or your smile
like a flower at full bloom
or changing seasons
it's gone too soon.
Such beauty cannot be captured by words
no sound can be uttered not a syllable heard
so I sit in deathly silence
and admire the view
something so timeless
as I look at you.

Like that flower
you stand alone in a field
supported by God's power
to which you yield
I dare not pick you
as you will only wither
so I must wait and watch
whilst you dither.

I'm glad I witnessed
something so beautiful
my life has been blessed
you do not need a mirror
for the only thing that reflects
your beauty is the heavens
something so perfect
I have been in its presence.
Gods own creation
such unknown perfection.

Like the changing season
you pass without reason
no explanation
just fade like our relation.
Please bring back your summer sun
so I can bask in your glow
from heavenwards above
just tell me why you had to go
and leave without my love.
If you are the sun then I am the moon
never to meet and gone too soon.

Although I don't want to see you go
deep down I already know
so I just admire you from afar
like another shooting star
so beautiful in the nights sky
you have my attention
you've caught my eye
I look in your direction
but you fade and die.

Let me caress your every sinew
I do not care if you've been used
for many men know the temple of God
but few on holy ground have trod
her birthplace that is creation
yet they treat you with predation
a child that sleeps within your womb
soon your bed will be their tomb
the years of men will surely pass
upon your head I count the grass
they outnumber thee ten fold to one
and yet their bud is still but young
our age is like a moth at night
that travels towards the sacred light
and is extinguished by the flame
Will you remember my name?
your favoured son
Will you forgive the things I've done?
or another knot in the tree become

I want you to know
that I still care
even though
I despair
and my heavy heart
it's still beating
from the outskirts
where life is fleeting
I still hold on
to my sanity
but I don't belong
with gravity
let me float upon clouds
let me soar in the sky
yet still my heart pounds
and I don't know why
why I'm still here
to be used like a lover
but riddled with fear
still yet to discover
for it to become clear
tell me your secrets
that I will hold dear
fill me with regrets
in exchange for my heart
let time forget
the things that have passed.

I'm starting to question every thought I ever had
every reason for feeling sad
every dream dissolved
every story I ever told
as reality does not live in the mind
but with everything that passes our eyes
so stay focused
don't pay attention to the lies
for in my head I've lived a thousand lives
but in reality I've never touched the sky
not walked on the moon
never had a bride
never been the groom.

We had fun you and I
at least within my mind
been dreaming since I was a kid
of things that I never quite did
never once kissed your lips
nor smelt your sweet perfume
though those memories still exist
the truth is you left to soon
you only live in my imagination
a perfect mix of my creation
loving, kind and gentle
whispers sentimental.

So the question I ask;
do I keep you close in dreams?
- where our love will forever last
**or face the whaling screams
of a broken heart.

I believe in love at first sight
and not giving up on that fight
I believe in fairy tales
and true love that prevails
I believe in romance
and taking her hand for the slow dance
I believe in fate
and good things come to those that wait
I believe in simple pleasures
and also making grand gestures
I believe in the ultimate sacrifice
and not needing to think about it twice
I believe in dreams
and clouds bursting at the seams
I believe what you do gets done in return
and that some people will never learn
I believe real beauty comes from within
and never judging because we all have sin
I believe in God above
and the fact that God is love
I believe in miracles
and sticking to your principles
I believe in honesty
trust, virtue and integrity
I believe in innocence
and old fashioned sentiments
but most of all I believe in you
and everything that you do
so to you my heart I am sending
as I believe in happy endings.

This world is not meant for dreamers, poets or lovers
only to be torn apart
slowly dissected by death's scythe
worn down by the language of life
words, weapons and worries
all designed to destroy us
losing yourself in a flurry
a chaos of accidental karma
taken by the hand and led astray
I never wanted to harm her
I just wanted it my own way
a perfected illusion
trying to mould life to suit our ideals
but it's those same ideas that ****
torturing us during the night
and rotting our insides by the day
the maggots of the mind
make bait for the fishes
the world is full of sharks
this world is malicious
as I wade through the dark
you devour me whole
spit out my bones
and consume my soul
then leave me alone
for there's no more you can take
there's nothing of value left
when I rise I will be awake
or else my name is death.

I keep pushing myself to the extreme
keep indulging in the obscene
trying to break my mask
all this reality is just a dream
a dream about the past
I pinch myself so I will wake
a pinch of salt is all I take
a glimpse into the unknown
so I can escape this dream
this tapestry I have sown
for every illusion has a seam
where time and reality is stitched
but there are no maps
no one knows where or which
just a maybe or perhaps
so pushing boundaries is all I have
hoping something snaps
on to silence I try to grab
but echos are all I hear
a voice from my childhood
a little boy transfixed with fear
I don't know if I should
follow the yellow brick road
follow it all the way home
a pinch of salt to blind the witch
I pinch myself but still don't flinch
maybe Oz is all there is
maybe it was and still is
maybe because I willed it
if I designed it I can **** it
there's no more reason to pretend
take a knife to my imaginary friend
take his life so my dream can end.

I have a box
of socks
but singles
not pairs
who cares?
- for the lost and lonely
I do
I kept you
close to heart
in a box
my socks
I wore you once
or twice
or more
before
you saw
the light
no more.
I tried to pair
you off
at what cost
to end up in a drawer.
I swore
I still cared
for singles
as well as pairs
but in a box
my socks
remain
the lost
the slain
some souls
have holes
that can't
be darned
once love
is lost
and spurned
we hide
our hearts
inside
a box
like socks
discarded.
For who cares
for socks
without pairs?
I do.

Let me take you on a journey
to learn me
and enter my minds maze
where you will spend days
trying to escape.

From the outside
just an ordinary guy
no reason to think otherwise
but you haven't got a clue
until you step through
the entrance
that's when you start your sentence.

You're free to leave
and free to roam
any time you please
as long as you don't stray
too far from home
that's when you pay.

An enigma
unable to decipher
still trying to find the exit
a reason to exist
I've walked for days
in many directions
but whichever way
or whatever suggestion
I always end back where I started
disheartened.

A generation lost in the storm,
the flowers left by those that mourn,
how could we be so careless,
to loose something so precious,
so many jewels that sparkled,
are now in heavens star pool.

Why they were taken so young we may never know,
all that remains is the afterglow,
a silent memory of those now gone,
another wordless song now sung,
so worthless for those that now live on.

Since time has no more meaning,
as our hearts are left without feeling,
a numbness in our chest,
since those we loved have laid to rest,
gone are all their problems,
they are lost but not forgotten.

If only words were strong enough to heal,
of all the lives that you steal,
the broken dreams of the departed,
the lives of those that were barely started.
If we could stand together and fight,
with all our strength and all our might,
we may reach the promised land,
and finish those dreams that they had planned,
at least we can say that we have tried,
to live our lives for those that died.

a man cannot live on bread alone
nor upon his enemies bones
the marrow of which seldom makes
a feast in which he can partake
the flesh and blood
of his fellow kin
are formed from mud
and infused with sin
planted in the soil his feet
to which Apollo waters
and the master beats
on to the slaughter
hand in hand
and eye for eye
until we can't stand
until we all die
until we all die

I tried to let you go so many times
but your very existence is woven into mine
you are written between every line
will I ever find all the words to explain
this sensation called love by any other name
I love video games and chocolate
and other miscellaneous objects
but what I really love is none of these things
when I compare them to you
for everything else pales in comparison
like seeing the world all a new
you have become the light to my eye
the sun that shines through darkened sky
the very life that will never die
you are the breath in my lungs
what's left of my song.

In reality this poem is just a mirage
an illusion  of what really is
for what is can never be imagined
it can't be captured by a thought
or ever held in just a feeling.
What really is
what you are
is love.

So I can never let you go
as I never had you to begin with
you were my illusion
because you are love
you left me as confusion
because you are love
you are a paradox
we are a pair of socks
but one is missing
I am the odd sock
this is the unsolvable riddle
the one that will always get lost
a maze that starts and ends in the middle.
*This is love.
God is love.
You are love.
I am love.
We are love.

No one will ever win
because no one gives in
sometimes its better to concede
then forever bleed
my shirt soaked red
from the heart on my sleeve
a battle of words cast
the sting that lasts
like venom that seeps
through our veins
the pleasure that's reaped
from our brains
knowing that we cause pain
sowing seeds
no flowers grow
only weeds.

A flip of a coin
is what decides
to face the ruin
or run and hide
if only we used a note
so we could simply float
past every decision
because whatever the choice
it always brings collisions
so listen to the voice
not in your mind
but in your heart
then you will find
what was, has past.

She was the Rose in my heart
and the thorn in my head
for her it did bloom
for her I have bled

When she no longer shines
and tears no longer water
the heart it begins to die
the Rose it starts to wither

One day she will rise
but when nobody knows
then she shall shine again
and my heart will be a Rose

the time has come
but what for
when time is done
you will want more

theres never time
for nothing much
you'll never find
the time for such

as time is short
and in the end
it can't be bought
yet time does mend

its time to go
once its begun
only time does know
the setting sun

after all, time will tell
*but keeps its secrets oh so well