You watched my reaction to your story.
"I know a boy," I said, and paused.
Your eyebrows lifted. You waited.
"I know a boy in Wisconsin," I said, and faltered again.
I watched a small smile spread slowly over your face.
"Is there more to this story?" you asked me softly.
I stared at the ground, trying hard to hide my smile. "There might be."
You took my hand and I glanced up. There was a knowing smile on your face. And you waited for me to speak again.
"I hope there is," I said, barely above a whisper.
You smiled again and just walked quietly beside me. I think you were waiting for me to say more. But I didn't. Because there was too much to say and I didn't know how to start.
After a bit, you began to tell me more of your stories. But you didn't forget. I could see it in your eyes. Whenever I got quiet, you smiled at me. You told me a bit about Wisconsin. Said you'd been there before. Said it was pretty up north.
I hope you get to meet that boy in Wisconsin someday. He'd like you.

Slow down
Watch the sunset
Pick flowers
Tickle the baby
Remember the small things

Don’t forget to tell your sister you love her
Because she’ll be gone soon
Build legos and have tea parties with the little kids
Because you’ll be gone soon too

Don’t worry so much about the future
It usually takes care of itself

I promise your mum and dad love you
Even when it feels like they don’t
Confide in them often
They understand better than you think

That boy may be cute
And he might make you laugh
But I promise he isn’t worth your time
There’s someone so much better coming
Be patient
Wait for him

Remember it’s okay to cry
As long as you can smile afterward
Always know you are loved and needed
Even when you think you aren’t

Sing in the park
Dance in the yard
Turn up those headphones
Don’t be afraid or embarrassed to have fun
As long as you work hard in between

Read your Bible
Don’t forget to pray
And when you feel afraid remember God always has a plan
And it is always the best plan

Your life will be a good one
Even during the bad times
Look forward to it

Take a deep breath
Look in the mirror
Smile
Remember that life will not always be this hard
Eat some chocolate
Go on a walk
Cheer up darling
Things will get better
I promise

Sometimes I hate you.

But on the good days,
I remember you laughing
And ruffling my hair without pulling it
And buying me an ice cream cone.

Sometimes I almost love you.

Everything I do
Everything I say
Everything I think
Is just a motion.

What is the point?
What is the purpose?

I used to get excited
I used to be sad
I used to enjoy life
But now I am numb
There is no feeling

I scream in frustration
I do not understand!
What has changed?

My life is the same as ever it has been
It is only my view that has changed
And now I wonder
What is the point

What is the point of getting up
What is the point of working hard
What is the point of eating
Or sleeping or talking
What is the point of fighting the monsters
When they always come back

What is the point of my life?
Can someone please tell me my purpose?
Can someone give me a reason to keep going?

I do not want to die.
I want to live again.
Would someone please tell me how?