Two men were walking down the road
They met up with Lou Who
He said "I've not seen you men before"
"Now, tell me who are you?"

We're half the Who
Said the two
Half a who? said Lou
Not half a who
Exclaimed the two
we're exactly half The Who

We are now two
And as the Who
We were a group of four
Lou explained  A who is one
So now as two
you  two are just one more

You two cannot  be half a who
Listen closer Lou they said
Listen to us now my son
As these words spin your head

Long ago the Who was four
Keith died, making three
John died leaving only us
There's only him and me
We're half The Who
Not half a Who
Surely that is clear
Lou just stood there dazzled
As if he didn't hear
A who is one
Of which we're not
That is clear to you
We once were four
But, now we're not
We're half of what we were
Lou told them that he understood
These two were not who's
Two strangers walking in our land
Now, that is really news
But, gentlemen can you tell me
Exactly Who Are You?
Tell me sirs, where are you from?
And what exactly do you do?
We're all that's left
We're half the Who
We're singers in a band
We sing rock and roll music
We travel 'round the land
Let me see now said Lou Who
You're  half the Who now....yes?
No, Lou that's another band
This really is a mess
Confused, Lou said "I'm lost now"
Other bands and half a Who
Just answer my first question
Exactly who are you?
Lou, we're gonna say this once
We won't say it anymore
We're half of what was once The Who
We're now two,
we once were four
It' really very simple
Two died, and that leaves us
We have an opera that's called "Tommy"
And a song called Magic Bus
Lou said "I'm just a simple who"
My mind is all a buzz
I'm thinking now of half a who
And what a rock band does
A band of rocks
Poor Lou now moans
That makes no sense to me
If people come to see these stones
Just what do people see?
The Stones, are someone else Lou
They sing just like we do
But, they're another rock band
And we're still half The Who
Half of one and not of all
you're part of what was four
I'll take my leave of you dear sirs
And hope to see you nevermore

I went out to do my happy dance
But, it seems I have a sprain
And by missing just a few steps
It seems I made it rain

I went out to do my happy dance
I thought it would be fun
But, by missing just a few steps
I took away the sun

I went out to do my happy dance
I wouldn't be out long
But, by missing just a few steps
The whole **** dance went wrong

So, next time I want to happy dance
I'll do it in my head
Because then if it starts to rain
I'll be warm inside in bed.

As one year end gets closer and a new one set to start
Why are we always looking backwards not forwards with our heart
We always think of things we lost not of things we gain
We just cannot find the sunshine for the rain
We talk of what might have been and what almost came to pass
We never speak in positives just negatives and sass
We look at what we do not have and what we didn't do
I know I do it annually, I'm sure that you do too
This year I gained experience and friends I've yet to meet
And I know that every one of them have made my year a special treat
But as I look back on this past year I think of what I've lost
Just in case I need reminding and I need to know the cost
It's just our way to do this so our goals don't get set too high
It's difficult to start anew than it is to say goodbye
As we move into our future we will learn from our mistakes
And we're sure to shed enough new tears to fill up the great lakes
But, moving on into the wide expanse of the unkown
Is something that scares most of us, It's the dice that we have thrown
That leads into challenges and friendships not yet found
To start the path to next year, you must hold the grass down to the ground
Next year is the grail for sports fans whose teams fail
There'll always be a next year but what of this year's tale
It's one we look at fondly and we always think they're bums
But it's written in a song somewhere that next year never comes
I've tried to learn a lesson from each year that I've been here
But because I'm always looking backwards there are lessons tinged with fear
Of doing the same thing once again and of not doing what I should
But if I look back at it rightly, I did all that I could
With next year soon approaching I will put this year behind
And I will think of the adventures next year I will find
I will make new friends and spend time with the people I hold dear
And I hope that you can do it too  in this coming great New Year.

I was drinking at the Legion

The place wasn't really busy

But there was one man at a table

Who made me really dizzy

He was waving all around the room

He was really in a zone

The funny thing about it

He was sitting all alone

He spoke in quiet whispers

And he heard silent replies

From chairs that sat there empty

He heard their mournful cries

He had a beer before him

But he never left his chair

And no one sat beside him

It's just like he wasn't there

So, I went about my business

Playing darts and shooting pool

Buying tickets for the meat draws

Watching young ones acting cool

The other active members

Who'd spent some time in battle

Always checked to see his beer was full

As he sat there spouting prattle

It's unwritten at the Legion

You never ask about the war

You just revel in their company

That's what the place is for

There's veterans who'll tell stories

Of years gone bye and bye

But, you never ask a question

"Did you see somebody die?"

The Actives know their station

The young ones though do not

It's because of all the Actives

They've got all that they've got

As time went on I wondered

The story of this man

So , I went and asked the barkeep

He said "I'll tell you what I can"

He served two brews and wiped a glass

He stood flashing a smile

"You'd better grab a chair my boy"

"This here might take a while"

I sat and listened as he talked

About this man distressed

He told me "His name's Harold"

"And you can say his mind is messed"

"I've been working here for twenty years

And he's been here twice that

He's never moved from that **** chair

That's where Harold's always sat"

He got up once to fill a glass

And then came back to me

"When I came here, I had just got home

"I'd been fighting overseas"

"From what I heard at first" he said

"Harold's always been that way"

"And as you can see from watching"

"He'll always stay that way"

"He's lost inside his mind you know

To June 6  in forty four"

"We both know that as D-Day

"But he knows it as more"

"It was Juno Beach from what I've told

he landed with his squad

Over 14,000 Canadians

And now most lie with God"

I then got up and went outside

I said "I need a break"

I went out for a cigarette

For this tale had made me shake

I went back in, got two more beers

And sat right down again

"His whole platoon went down that day

They'd lost 3,000 men"

"There was Harold and 300

"others who survived"

"But living life inside their heads"

"I think they'd wished they'd died"

"He lives with Jean, his sister"She's been there all his life

"She put her life on hold for him

"She's never been a wife"

"She pays me for his beer every month

"And says to keep some for me

"But a penny's never crossed my bar

"You see ...Old Harold drinks for free"

"I give her money now and then

"I say he won a draw"

"Just for showing up each day I say

"just that and nothing more"

I went and grabbed a bar rag

And I wiped my teary eyes

I then paid for my drinks and

I left fifty bucks besides

He said your bill's eight fifty

What's all the extra for?

I said that he could keep it

Or just put it in his draw

He nodded and he smiled

And I left the bar for home

And as I left I watched poor Harold

On Juno Beach, his mind, his home

I came back three months later

And I saw no Harold there

There was now an empty table

And now, four empty chairs

"Dear God, it's you"....the barkeep said

"Grab your coat, come with me"

"Harold died on Saturday"

"And his funeral's at three"

He died a war time hero

But still a prisoner all the same

And down at our old Legion

Very few knew Harold's name

When we got out to the gravesite

I expected to see more

But there was just Old Harold's sister

The priest and us two...made it four.

We said a prayer, and sang a Hymn

He was back with his Platoon

He was back on Juno Beach again

Where his life ended that June

It's a shame that no one came out

To see him on his way

But, there'll be me and Bill the barkeep

Every year and on this day.

Lunch was done, decisons made

the table cleared, the bill was paid

Final words were spoken

And none more truer than..

Have your people call my people

And we'll do this again.

They went back to the office

And they thought, hey he was right

I'll have my people call his people

And we'll hit the bar tonight

Funny how a line like that

Can set one's mindset soaring

Sitting down and making plans

It sure broke up the boring

Afteroon ahead, that each of them could see

But going out again that night

Well, then they would be free

Wives at home, while they were out

Drinking, flirting...what the hey

The ony question left now

Was which of them would pay?

But as one's folk called the others

And the plans were carved in stone

They would finish out their day

And then they would head home

They'd have "my people call your people"

And plan a meeting late

They would do it on the sly

It would be their watergate

But, people being people

Their plans were overheard

By a coniving young new intern

And she wrote down every word

Since she was one of the people

She started making calls

Phoning every number of every wife

This woman sure had *****

She told them how "the people"

planned to go out after work

How their family type duties

Each one had planned to shirk

So these people called their people

And made plans of their own

They would keep it all a secret

Until the men got home

Men forget that wives have people

And that their people kind of rule

When the men all try to hide stuff

By doing stuff that isn't cool

The men, all smug and smiling

Thinking of the fun to ahead

Would walk on in their house

And stay until the kids were all in bed

Then their people would start calling

Making sure the lie was told

About that late night meeting

At a bar where beer was cold

But, that coniving young new intern

Making calls to all the wives

Had laid out every detail

Had ruined all their lives

As each man sat for dinner

Thinking of what the night would bring

At each house, just 5 minutes in

Every phone would ring

It was her people calling people

Telling each wife where to meet

They would have to leave the husbands

And they would not be so discreet

For their people all called people

And the men's plans all were blown

As the women went out drinking

And left the men at home

So next time when your people

Call and plan things on the side

Make sure your intern isn't there

Or else your plans are fried

I'll have my people phone your people

And we'll get together soon

But in order that we pull it off

We'll have to leave at noon.

Have you ever smelled a colour?

It's as easy as can be

Just pick one out and sniff one

Close your eyes and you will see

Just think of what you're smelling

Be it orange, red or green

But, you have to keep your eyes closed

To experience the scene

Just try it...it's amazing

Pick a colour, take a sniff

It opens all your senses

All you do is take a whiff

Just close your eyes and do it

There....you'll find it in your mind

You will surely be excited

By the pictures you will find

Green will bring you gardens

Overflowing with their scent

It will bring back thoughts of camping

Setting up that ratty tent

Red...fruit and anger

Cherries freshly picked and cooked

It will also show emotions

Try again...I know you're hooked

Try and smell a colour

Smell blue and see the sea

Just close your eyes and sniff them

Then you'll see the things I see

Each sense has got a trigger

You may think I'm off my gourd

But...try and truly smell a colour

Close your eyes and come on board...

Strong spring winds and summer breezes
Only add strength to my sneezes
I cannot breathe...I'm on my kneezes
I'm only good when outside freezes
I need a kleenex now

I cannot breathe with pollen flying
I swear to god that I'm not lying
My eyes run so...I feel like crying
My chest hurts bad...I think I'm dying
I need some meds and how

I wish I lived inside a bubble
Then I'd have no breathing trouble
Can someone build one on the double?
My throat is dry and full of rubble
I need cough mixture now

I dream of snow instead of summer
My hayfever makes life a ******
I need something so I feel number
The problem is that I feel dumber
Please knock this out...kapow

Hayfever is my one affliction
My eyes and throat are full of friction
I take my meds, they're my addiction
My throat is suffering from constriction
Somebody help me ...now!!!

I went into the pro shop
Paid my fees and turned to leave
The man behind the counter said
"you're new here...I believe"

I said I'd never played here
He said "there's things that you should know"
"I'll grab us both a coffee"
"Listen close...before you go"

"The first two holes are easy"
"nothing there gets in the way"
"no bunkers, and no water"
"just the way to start the day"

"It gets tougher on the third hole"
"There's some birds up in the trees"
"They buzz you while you're putting"
"Remember...birds on three"

"The fourth hole is a dog leg"
"It has a river on the right"
'Avoid the yellow caution tape"
"We had a drowning there last night"

I swallowed hard and stared back
"A drowning out on four"
"That's right" he said "don't worry"
"At least it's not the wild boar"

"The WILD BOAR?" I said aloud
He said "he's on five through seven"
"Don't worry much on those holes"
"He's been sighted on eleven"

"The eighth is fairy simple"
"A par three that you can reach"
"Water moccasins in the swamp"
"And lots of spiders in the beach"

"The greens are all receptive"
"They hold well, just come in high"
'But, land is short...there's quicksand"
"So...go in there...you die"

"you make the turn, and grab a dog"
"I give them out for free"
"The owner says it's wasteful"
"But, I say...just let it be"

"The tenth hole is a par five"
"It' one to reach in two"
"But if you put it out of bounds"
"I'd leave it...if I were you"

"you know about the wild boar"
"so eleven gets a pass"
"he's got some bite, that sumbitch"
"He might gore you in the ***"

"Now twelve...is quite a pickle"
"I'll tell you watch out now.....not later"
"We have a situation there"
"It's fairway's full of gator"

"What the hell is that you say"
"There's a gator out there then"
"Today there is but somedays son"
"You can meet as much as ten"

"You must be mad" I yelled at him
"I'm leaving...I'll not play"
"on a course so full of danger"
"There's no way...just no way"

I asked him for a refund
he pointed up above his head
"no refunds, only rainchecks"
"and then only if you're dead"

I sacrificed my forty bucks
And left, out to my car
The pro just sat and smiled
"I've scared off thirty one so far"

I know I'll not return here
not with friends or by myself
not with spiders in the bunkers
Or gators on the twelfth.

Heading back to where I'd started
Thirty years since I'd been gone
I can still remember leaving
Didn't think I'd be gone this long

Playing legions and house parties
On to clubs and smoky bars
Things have changed while I've been missing
Had more wives than I've had cars

Heading Home...I think it's time
That little town, sticks in my mind
Heading Home...my heart is talking
It tells my brain that it is time

Did some tv and four movies
Put out albums and cds
Played in places long forgotten
Here at home and overseas

Played on flatbed trucks in rainstorms
Played in shopping malls as well
Played some shows in Arizona
Man, that place is hot as hell

Time to get on home and settle
do some tours but work at home
Time to be a grandpa proper
Unlike the dad who was on the road

Got a ranch out in Alberta
George Canyon lives not far from me
Maybe we can get together
And I can do one more cd

Heading Home to where my heart is
Been gone so long, time slipped away
Home is where my folks are buried
Home is where I'm gonna stay

Out in the back forty
There's a tree and underneath
Is a lonely wooden marker
All it says is "Heath"

Not many really knew him
He just hung around the ranch
I remember when I found him
Hanging from that branch

He never really said much
Kept quiet most the time
Always had a smile
And he had his lucky dime

Heath was slightly slower
Not in step, but in his brain
But, that didn't really matter
For folks loved him all the same

I remember back in school
When Heath was getting teased
The only one defended him
was me...and Heath was pleased

We were bonded from that moment
We were brothers you might say
Where I was, you would find him
Until that fateful day

Folks say that the Johnson boys
Caught him down by Crindle creek
They girls were down there swimming
And they'd gone to have a peek

Heath was down there fishing
Saw the boys and gave a shout
The girls went off a runnin'
And then Heath was set about

The story gets all muddled
Since no one was around
There were six conflicting stories
On how he got hung up off the ground

The truth will be deep buried
Since only four folks know for sure
And three of them aren't telling
And Heath was number four

I rode out after supper
No one knew where Heath was at
I took out for the creek bed
And there I found his hat

From there I took off westward
Toward the tree, to spend the night
I'd head home in the morning
I'd leave at the first light

But, there was where I found him
Hanging, dead from that old tree
From what ever demons ailed him
Heath had been set free

His folks has left for Tulsa
Leaving him back at our ranch
That's where he will stay now
In the ground beneath that branch

I made a simple marker
Painted white with just his name
And even though nobody goes there
I had to let folks know he came

So out on the back forty
By the tree, yep..underneath
Sits a little, simple marker
painted white,....it just says Heath.

Lying
in
a
field
of
heather..
hope
my
decongestant
works!

Happy Birthday Heather
I will not state your age
If people want to know it
They can go visit your page

You run a band of poets
A band of Lunatics at heart
But, you saw something in us
And you saw it from the start

We all write different styles
Some are funny, some morose
Some of us have stories
And sometimes, we get gross

But, Heather, you're our leader
And on behalf of all us vandals
Don't put the fire brigade to work
....so don't light your ****** candles!!!

Happy Birthday Hev! Best wishes
We share more than just a last name in my book.

All the love

Roger and Megan Turner

I can't see into the future
But, I know someone who can
She's a gypsy from the midlands
And, well, she looks just like a man

She says her name is Heather
But, to me she'll be a Hector
She said she had an accident
But, by god...it nearly wrecked her

One eye stares, it doesn't move
And this one is the best
The other follows you around
It never leaves your chest

She reads tarot, tea leaves and the bones
She's a reader of your life
She said she's still not married
I can't imagine her a wife

She'd know just what you're thinking
She'd know a lie before it's told
And if she's ugly nowadays
Imagine her when she gets old

The people go to see her
when the caravans arrive
She will read for twenty dollars
Her tent opens at five

If you want to know your future
Just take notice, listen close
Because her lips are slightly puffy
And she whistles through her nose

She's bent over looking downward
On her left side there's a ****
On her cheek there is a goiter
Behind her ear there is a lump

She weighs in at 300
Doesn't stand past 5 foot tall
But if you want to know the future
Then she's the one to call

She's an old afflicted gypsy
Has a daughter known as Marge
Says she's wanted up in Bristol
She's a small medium at large

I can hear the world around me
I can see what's going on
I just cannot voice my anger
You see, my muscle strength is gone

"I'M IN HERE....CAN'T YOU SEE ME?"
"I JUST CANNOT MOVE MYSELF'
"PLEASE DO NOT IGNORE ME"
"DON'T PUT ME ON A SHELF"

I'm not a fragile bisque doll
In a chair for all to see
I'm a prisioner of my body
But, the body still is me

'I'M NOT DYING WITHOUT FIGHTING"
"I STILL THINK AS CLEAR AS YOU"
"I CAN'T RUN OR WALK LIKE YOU CAN"
"BUT, THERE'S LOTS THAT I CAN DO"

I am a man held captive
My cell is muscles, flesh and bone
I don't know how to describe it
I'm not stuck in here alone

"I NEED SOMEONE TO HEAR ME"
"PLEASE ACKNOWLEDGE I WAS HERE'
'I KNOW IT'S NOT THE LIFE I WANTED"
"I NOW KNOW DEATH I DO NOT FEAR"

ALS has killed my body
But it has not killed my mind
I am in here, same as always
Still full of thoughts, some harsh, some kind

"I AM IN HERE AND I HEAR YOU"
'I TREASURE ALL THAT LIFE IS WORTH"
"LIKE LOU GHERIG SAID BEFORE ME"
"I AM THE LUCKIEST MAN ON EARTH!"

bells are ringing
hear the sound
i'm listening
six feet under ground
i've got a problem
so i've found
no one quite wants me around

i'm a challenge
i've sold my soul
but, i'm still waiting
in this hole
i hear the ringing
i'm set to go
but, i'm still waiting
in this hole

heaven don't want me
and hell ain't ready
not quite yet
hell ain't ready
sitting waiting
i'm ready teddy
heaven don't want me
and hell ain't ready

shot a man
because he crossed me
beat another
cause he bossed me
had a wife
but, now she's lost me
i'm stuck waiting in this hole

fought a war
that had no winner
i'm not a saing
i'm just a sinner
i choked to death
while eating dinner
i'm down here waiting
getting thinner
i'm stuck here in this hole


heaven don't want me
and hell ain't ready
not quite yet
hell ain't ready
sitting waiting
i'm ready teddy
heaven don't want me
and hell ain't ready

hell ain't ready
for me to go there
hell ain't ready
for what i'll do there
hell ain't ready
i think it ain't fair
i'm waiting in this hole
i'm ready, set to go
just waiting in this hole
but,,,hell ain't ready


heaven don't want me
and hell ain't ready
not quite yet
hell ain't ready
sitting waiting
i'm ready teddy
heaven don't want me
and hell ain't ready

Sitting in a darkened bar
Ten dead soldiers in a row
My bladder was now screaming
It's time for you to go

I ordered up another drink
Left my seat, went down the hall
And on my way back to the bar
I saw a number on the wall

Help...it said, is close, close by
It's nearer than you think
Call, the number that you see
Before you order your next drink

I thought, it doesn't make much sense
I've got my life under control
I haven't bottomed out quite yet
I'm only half way down the hole

Four more drinks and then again
I stumbled down the hall
And coming back, I once more read
The notice on the wall

Help...it said, is close, close by
It's nearer than you think
Call, the number that you see
Before you order your next drink

I put a dime into the payphone
I thought I'd give it one good try
Before I hit rock bottom
I'd call them up or else I'd die

A friendly voice responded
"out of service...try again"
I laughed at this short message
Then I tried it once again

I checked the number on the notice
Dialed it, and then I heard
the message "out of service"
I laughed at every word

It seems that "out of service"
Was a title I should hold
After all I was a soldier
Out of work, and drunk, and cold

Those three words, they described me
"Out of service" , right bang on
No one cared that I was falling
Who would notice when I'm gone?

I went back to my barstool
Downed my drink and got one more
I thought, I'd better have another
Before I stumbled out the door

Before I went, I ventured
To the jukebox, checked for change
The sign said "out of service"
I thought that that was strange

Twice now, "out of service"
In a message sent to me
Was I truly worth redemption
A hopeless case for all to see

I figured that tomorrow
If I found I woke up dead
"out of service" were the last words
That were emblazoned in my head

I went back to the barkeep
Ordered one more for the road
Then I downed another soldier
"out of service" number stowed

I'd laugh on this tomorrow
If I made it through this night
I was truly "out of service"
I need help to find the light.

I had a voice inside my head
Speaking low, I heard it say
You can make your whole world better
If you listen ...now ....today

I shook my head and looked around
Saw that I was alone
I figured that the voice I heard
came from someone's cell phone

It said..
Take my hand and walk with me
I'll will guide you on your way
Let me deep inside your soul
And we can start our walk today

I looked around at where I sat
Thought, this can't be all there is
I signed on for better than...
I didn't sign for this

The voice spoke softly to me
follow me, I know the way
I wasn't set to travel
At least not now...today

It said..
Take my hand and walk with me
I'll will guide you on your way
Let me deep inside your soul
And we can start our walk today

I listened and I took the walk
Together, down the beach
There are places deep inside
The voice, it helped me reach

I'm not saying who it was
For, as now, I do not know
But, I've started a new journey
And the voice, says where to go

Growing up
I always had
someone else around me
Mom and Dad
were always there
to advise and yes, to ground me

Time did pass
Things  did change
I went on my own way
The advice was there
But, not as much
There was no one there to say...

Don't do that
Use your head
Is that what you want to do
That is wrong
You'll die alone
and then...He sent me you

Teenage years
Mistakes were made
More than I can count
Always down
and looking up
I was thrown off of the mount

Advice...uh uh
Direction none
just me and me alone
confusion reigned
tempers flared
no one there to groan.....

Don't do that
Use your head
Is that what you want to do
That is wrong
You'll die alone
and then...He sent me you

lightning struck
a purpose loomed
i knew what i should do
boots pulled up
a life to share
that was when he sent me you

Don't do that
Use your head
Is that what you want to do
That is wrong
You'll die alone
and then...He sent me you

Without you
I am nothing
A sailboat with no breeze
With you
I am different
I am loved, and I'm at ease

He sent me you
To change my ways
He sent me you to love
He sent me you
To spend my days
He sent me you....my love

I saw her at the diner
She caught my eye right from the start
It wasn't too long after
That this woman caught my heart

She didn't fit in with the people
Drinking coffee , eating up
She was drinking with her pinkie out
As she held her coffee cup

She's was high class in a low class world
That was plain as plain could be
I wanted to be in her world
And I wanted her with me
She was queen of somewhere
I don't know, and I wanted to be king
She was high class in a low class world
And I wanted to be king

She had her napkin tucked
Just so, you know
Not all scrunched up in a ***
And she only dabbed the corners
Like an Angel sent from God

She was crisp and pressed and perfect
Not a hair was out of place
And the light just made her eyes shine
She had such a lovely face

She's was high class in a low class world
That was plain as plain could be
I wanted to be in her world
And I wanted her with me
She was queen of somewhere
I don't know, and I wanted to be king
She was high class in a low class world
And I wanted to be king

She was sitting in our diner
although she belonged far uptown
Most folks here all wore ball caps
while she deserved a crown

When she spoke, my heart just trembled
Her voice was breathy, like a wisp
And she spoke like she was Royal
So cool and cut and crisp

She's was high class in a low class world
That was plain as plain could be
I wanted to be in her world
And I wanted her with me
She was queen of somewhere
I don't know, and I wanted to be king
She was high class in a low class world
And I wanted to be king

She was someone from a movie
Full of mystery, intrigue
And I knew from looking at her
She was way out of my league


I wouldn't know just where to start
She was gold and I was tin
She was High class in my low class world
And I surely wanted in

I stood there in the kitchen
Washing dishes in the sink
And I knew I'd go home lonely
What else was there for to think?

She's was high class in a low class world
That was plain as plain could be
I wanted to be in her world
And I wanted her with me
She was queen of somewhere
I don't know, and I wanted to be king
She was high class in a low class world
And I wanted to be king

As you can see now
We've lost two men to Father Time
They were your friends
As they were mine

They both were outlaws
and they lived life their own way
If we had our choice
They'd still be here today
But, I am not the one
Who took them both away
That's all I've got to say

They were our brothers
And they stood here dressed in black
Close your eyes and they are back
They're in the ether
Waiting there for their return
They'll tell us what they saw
And then we will all learn
That life's a circle
And death is no concern
When they do return....

We are all highwaymen
And we all travel different roads
We all bear witness
Carry loads
We will all pass this way
More than once I'm sure
There will be other times
When we meet at death's door
But as for now, I say
No more than evermore
For we will meet again....

Once there were four of us
And the world was our domain
We've gone away
Come back again
We sailed the seven seas
And rode the highway roads
We flew on starships
And we followed our own code
We met the horsemen
And our souls we did unload
And we'll be back again...

The city makes my heart beat change
To a speed I can't endure
I start to sweat and I can't breathe
To me there only is one cure

I have to leave the city life
Leave the commotion far behind
I've got to hit the country
For that is where I'll find

I have got a hillbilly heart
It's beats in banjo time
I have got a hillbilly heart
Out here, I feel just fine

City roads, and shopping malls
Get me riled and confused
I go home feeling *****
I go home feeling used

I've got to get away from here
Or I will lose my mind
I've got to hit the country
For that is where I'll find

I have got a hillbilly heart
It's beats in banjo time
I have got a hillbilly heart
Out here, I feel just fine

I have got a hillbilly heart
It's here that I belong
I have got a hillbilly heart
And it sings a bluegrass song
I have got a hillbilly heart
And it sings a bluegrass song

History is written by winners

Their story's the one that is told

The loser's are like dust in a zephyr

Blown away by the wind and the cold

A battle is waged on a hillside

The armies are dressed in chain mail

One side is left battered and dying

So...which side will write down the tale?

A submarine sinks in the channel

It's just off the Dover coast shore

No one survives but the story

of sailors we'll here from no more

Villages destroyed by a virus

It spreads through the town really quick

You know that the story gets written

By the survivors who didn't get sick

Pompeii was wiped out, that's a given

A volcano did wipe out the town

The people were burned to a cinder

So who writes, when there's no one around?

In the movies the cowboys and Injuns

All fight for control of the fort

Do the Indians spread tales of their losses

Do they write it all down just for sport?

As years changed the stories came forward

Of the armies and people who died

They were defending their loved ones and country

It's too bad they were on the wrong side.

As time lumbered on to the future

The winners were not just the ones

Who told what had happened that day

They were not just the ones with the guns

Bystanders came and told what they saw

This would change how stories were told

There was now a new player with stories to tell

And the winners did not look so bold

Things now were written that no one did know

Of the other sides battle attempts

They were not heroes or winners but, losers no more

For these writings now made them exempt

They spoke of their battles, their loyalty, grit

To stand strong and fight for their lives

Even though it was futile, they still thought they would win

Thinking only of children and wives

Now history is written as quick as it comes

Television has surely changed that

You can watch things at home on your big screen tv

And you can feel like you're where things are at.

Deception is gone and the truth now is told

In seconds, not years like before

You see things as they happen, and the final result

May shake your soul to your core.

So....now History is written by winners

and by losers as well just the same

And no matter, whatever the story

You now know all players by name.

Regardless of whatever the story

Be it ****** or sports,  games or war

We can now see just how each one has ended

And their honor, and that's what life is for...

Two kids
watching life go by
while learning
how to live it
moving slow
but learning fast
blink and
you will miss it

same two kids
ten years on now
still learning
and advancing
less watching
life as it moves on
but, a little
more romancing

holding hands out on the porch
drinking sweet tea too
knowing eyes are watching us
and everything we do
always must be proper
on the swing with you at night
they're watching us hold hands with one
while the other's out of sight

married now
and it's twenty years
since we
first sat out here
still watching life
and time pass by
holding hands
tea switched for beer

we've two kids
the house
is ours
thirty years
since we first sat
we're now the age
our parents were
sitting exactly
where we're at

holding hands out on the porch
drinking sweet tea too
knowing eyes are watching us
and everything we do
always must be proper
on the swing with you at night
they're watching us hold hands with one
while the other's out of sight


we've been married
forty years
we still sit
watching time pass
funny how
the simple things
stay a constant
from the past

fifty years now
we're still here
and just like it
used to be
we're still sitting
holding hands
still being watched
by grandkids three

holding hands out on the porch
drinking sweet tea too
knowing eyes are watching us
and everything we do
always must be proper
on the swing with you at night
they're watching us hold hands with one
while the other's out of sight


nothing changes
still the same
being watched
just like before
the house is now
our daughters
and the grandkids
number four

some days
we're still the
same two kids
moving slow
and learning fast
we don't watch
time go by no more
we close our eyes
and watch the past


still.....holding hands out on the porch
drinking sweet tea too
knowing eyes are watching us
and everything we do
always must be proper
on the swing with you at night
they're watching us hold hands with one
while the other's out of sight

Woke up late this morning
Wish the pain would pass
Cigarettes in the ashtray
lipstick on the glass

What in god's name happened
what did I do last night
Everything is fuzzy
It hurts to see the light

Hold that thought, I'll be right back
That's the last thing that I said
Now, here I am next morning
Feeling half past dead
Hold that thought, were my last words
From there ....I just don't know
Someone brought me home here
But, someone...I don't know

Cigarettes and lipstick
The pairing makes me think
A half a pack of winstons
And a nearly empty drink

I   am not a smoker
I  smoke what's close at hand
Right now, I'm feeling sea sick
And I'm still here on dry land

Hold that thought, I'll be right back
That's the last thing that I said
Now, here I am next morning
Feeling half past dead
Hold that thought, were my last words
From there ....I just don't know
Someone brought me home here
But, someone...I don't know

I'm gonna take a shower
Maybe that will help my head
I just don't know what happened
Or who brought me home to bed

A glass with lipstick on it
My cigarettes or not
The last thing I remember
is saying Hold That Thought

Hold that thought, I'll be right back
That's the last thing that I said
Now, here I am next morning
Feeling half past dead
Hold that thought, were my last words
From there ....I just don't know
Someone brought me home here
But, someone...I don't know

Jingle Bells and Mistletoe
Christmas songs galore
Plastic crap marked down again
Sales in every store

Santa Claus in Shopping Malls
Photos for the hoards
Teenage girls dressed up like elves
Looking rather bored

Hollydaze, Oh Hollydaze
Get me through the Christmas Craze
Hollydaze, Oh Hollydaze
I can not take much more

Christmas shows and pantomimes
Put on by theater groups
Old actors who we used to know
How low will these folks stoop?

Boxing Day and crazy crowds
Houses lit up like the park
Even when the power's off
They're still glowing  in the dark

Hollydaze, Oh Hollydaze
Get me through the Christmas Craze
Hollydaze, Oh Hollydaze
I can not take much more

Charity is on the wane
People confuse want with need
The population's gone insane
They're full of Christmas greed

Snowmen out in the front yard
Decorating Christmas Trees
Carolers from up the church
...that is Christmas Time to me

Hollydaze, Oh Hollydaze
Get me through the Christmas Craze
Hollydaze, Oh Hollydaze
I can not take much more

The victim list keeps growing

But no one really cares

The gristmill claims another one

Keep your hands in and don't stare

Hollywood is the golden land

The eternal silver screen

But many souls are lost here

A lot of greats or never beens

Child stars and veterans

The names can fill a book

Look, we've lost another one

Keep on moving, no time to look

We show concern when tales we hear

Of celebs dying young

We ruminate on films not made

And songs they've never sung

Each busload brings another group

To fill the starstruck void

And the next bus has a dozen more

With dreams, too soon destroyed

It's been this way since film began

The streets are filled with scores

Of undiscovered junkies,

And photogenic ******.

Some you know and some you don't

It's a list a mile long

It's amazing how these fragile folks

Could end up going wrong

The studios were pimps back then

With bennies all the rage

They loaded up their bonus babes

And then they sent them out on stage

We've seen the Little Rascals

You know Alfalfa Switzer, but,

Did you know he died a ******

From a bullet to his gut?

Scandals, lawsuits, hidden trysts

These stars were fully amped

Girls below the legal age,

Made Chaplins ***** a *****

Arbuckle committed ******

Other's just od'd

It's amazing how the failures

Make for a better read

Oh look another bus trip

Past the houses of the stars

All manicured and landscaped lawns

Just to hide the ****** scars

If you look behind the curtain

Back into the world of Oz

You'll find the munchkins getting plastered

And dear Judy dead because

They made her a screen idol

They broke down the girl inside

They milked her for her talent

****, they took her for a ride,

For every one like Garland

There's a thousand more in line

Just waiting for their chance to see

Their name upon that sign

Keep together, Keep on moving

There's lot's more for you to see

River Phoenix from an overdose

John Belsushi killed by speed

Peg Entwhistle jumped from high atop

The Hollywood sign we see

She decided she had had enough

In either 32 or 33.

Hughes bough loads of starlets

He liked to hide them round the town

But he was always way too busy

Getting up or coming down

James Dean died in a car crash

Add his name unto the glut

And there was young Grace Kelly

It seems our Princess was a ****

Jean Harlows husband shot himself

Clara Bow liked  having fun

In fact she ******* the USC football team

And I think she might have won

Look up and see the smiles

Of the ones who reached their dream

But, many do not go unscathed

In Space they can't hear you scream!

Sal Mineo was murdered,

Then there's dear dear Natalie Wood

They're not saying  RJ done it,

But it sure does not look good

Remember the curly headed kid

Who played Buffy on tv

She ended up so full of drugs

It's a list from A to Z

Now, when stars have problems

they do reheab and they hide

Back then they never had the chance

They just committed suicide

The man of steel, George Reeves

Was found shot in the head

They're not sure who killed Superman

So they said suicide instead,

Bob Crane, our Colonel Hogan

Made **** films and did drugs

But, whle Hogan's Heroes was still on

This was swept under the rugs

We can keep on this forever

Listing failures more than gains

For to be a fallen idol

comes with alot of pain

Child stars, just brushed aside

Their names and faces lost

Their lives are but a footnote

Is their loss the final cost?

You can peek behind the curtain

The wizard's still there today

But, if you come to visit

Please don't make the choice to stay

For, the victim list keeps growing

It gets longer every year

But, for many of these fallen stars

Is there one who'll shed a tear?

It's an image on a silver screen

We love the work they do

But of each ten thousand who do try

There's only one who's dream comes true

So, watch and listen closely

For in Hollywood you'll find

A list of tragic stories

Who the movies left behind.

Charlie Chaplin, set the pace
Buster Keaton, old stone face
Groucho and the brothers Marx
Margaret Dumont for some sparks
Harold Lloyd, The Brothers Ritz
Did I mention Zazu Pitts?
Stan and Ollie, Keystone Cops
Chases that just wouldn't stop
The Stooges, Larry, Curly, Moe
and then theres Shemp and Curly Joe
Bing and Bob, and Dean and Jerry
Two could sing, while two made merry
Bud and Lou and who's on first?
Harry Langdon and Charlie Chase
I think who is on first base
Mabel Normand and Mack Swain
Always tied before the train
Pie fights, slapstick in black and white
This was when we laughed all night
Mack Sennet, Roach, and Our Gang
Spanky and Alfalfa sang
Words were twisted, spun and turned
People splashed and others burned
Remember back to days of yore
To when they had you on the floor
Rembember Baby Rose Marie
She started at the age of three
Many more could make the list
For many I know that I missed
Make 'em laugh and take a pie
Get sprayed with seltzer in the eye
Go and watch their films again
So comedy will always reign
Thank you to the funny folk
Who taught us how to take a joke....

as long as you are with me
we are home
when i mess up you forgive me
i am home

i know that if we're separate
and that i am off alone
that when we're back together
i am home

it may be in a castle
owned by a long dead king
or even in a trailer
or on an old porch swing

driving on the highway
in the ruins of old rome
as long as we're together
it is home
as long as we're together
it is home

a house is just a building
if you're in it all alone
but without someone to share with
it's no home

a palace or apartment
or a building made of foam
without the love to form it
it ain't home
without the love to form it
it ain't home

as long as you are with me
it's a home
with you standing there beside me
we are home

our love will last forever
build a bond as strong as stone
for where ever we're together
we are home
babe....where ever we're together
we are home

Home is where the heart is
This, we all have heard
But, as a die hard baseball fan
Home is ninety feet from third

You're told you're always safe there
But know this much is true
You may not always be that safe
If the ball's there before you

You're parents say you are welcome
To come home any time
But, to diminish complications
Reach home before the end of inning nine

Home is where the heart is
It's the best place that you can be
But, it only counts if you get there
Before the outs reach three

Home is fixed it never wavers
It's where you start and will end too
But, how you make it back home safely
That last ninety feet is up to you

country music
summer nights
getting close
by fire light
sneaking glances
drinking beer
making sure
the coast is clear

pretty girls
excited boys
experiencing
summer joys
paisley on
the radio
guessing just
how far to go

sweaty bodies
kept in check
in chairs out
on the cottage deck
slip down through
the boat house door
to swim out to
the float off shore

summer boys
and summer girls
swim out past
the water swirls
washing off
the summer dust
and giving in
to summer lust

cottage campers
paddle by
as silently
our campers lie
sneaking glances
drinking beer
making sure
the coast is clear

country music
summer nights
knowing when
the time is right
now is time
to turn the page
as two young campers
come of age.

I walk the gauntlet every day
As do those who have no place
Of permanency, somewhere they
Can call their private place
Self esteem and confidence
fills them with a state of grace
Their position, is not justified
For the rest to look on down
They don't look for your approval
Just don't kick them while they're down
Just think about logistics
One month's pay is just how close
Most are to not surviving
With no where left, homelessness
Is just where you'll be arriving
A person is a person
With a fundamental right,
To fair treatment and respect
And a place to spend the night
Being poor is not a career path
That someone picks in school
But, people who have nothing
Still respect the golden rule
I'll bet you half a dollar
That you really do not know
That they live and work along you
And their difference doesn't show.

Did you have a "Mrs. Robinson" to help you come along ?

Or did you have a teenage tumble in the dark ?

Was she someone who was older, not just someone in a song?

Or was it just your highschool sweetheart in the dark?

We all gave "it" to someone,

That day our innocence was lost

Were we the hunter or the hunted

And whatever was the cost?

Was it just as you expected?

Was it clumsy and a mess ?

Did you do as you were ordered?

Did you ruin her new dress ?

Would you change the roles around now

If you could do it once again?

Would you be sweeter and more loving

If it was now instead of then?

Was it just like in the movies ?

Did you finish up and leave ?

Or did you ***** up and say I love you ?

Wearing your heart upon your sleeve

We know the truth is never what we tell our friends it was

We keep the record falsified, for reasons ....just because

It's private and it happened....but not the way you say

You want to keep the reputation that you've lived with to this day.

Did you have a "Mrs. Robinson" to help you come along ?

Or, did you have a teenage tumble in the dark ?

Was she someone who was older, not just someone in a song?

Or did you pay a cheap old prozzie in the park?

Sorting boxes, packing clothes
Assaulted by the past
When you stood and said forever
You both thought it would last
A jewellery box, a trinket here
A gift they never used
A present from five years ago
You smile, a bit bemused
The boxes fill, the tears arrive
You know it must be done
It's the one part of a person's life
That surely isn't fun
Textures and scents surround you
They take you back in time
To a place before computers
When a phone call cost a dime
You fill one box, put it aside
"Donations" on the side
You can picture every item
That you piled up inside
You put them in there lovingly
You didn't want to let them go
By releasing them into the box
It forced you to....you know
Accept that you're alone now
That your partner is not here
That the life you built together
Is now remembered by a tear
You gave things out to family
Though you do not know just why
They will stick them in a drop box
And that just makes you cry
You picture them inside the clothes
And you hear their laugh as you
Put magazines and tolietries
Inside Box number two
You put aside some things you like
To remember better days
Though you know that in the future
You'll remember through a haze
Time will mar your memories
Keep the good times, wipe the bad
You'll forget about the smile
And this really is quite sad
It takes days to sort the boxes
Fill the others, pack them all
By the time that you are finished
They will almost fill the hall
When complete you think on
What is in the totes
There's clothing, jewellery, memories
And magazines and notes
You don't know where to take them
You balance on a knife
The question here before you
How do you give away a life?

If you've never been in love
How can you know the pain
Of true, gut wrenching heartbreak
You'll suffer time and time again

Keep emotion at a distance
Don't get all sad when you see rain
For, if you've never been in love
You can never know the pain

Just how many kinds of heartbreak
Do I have to suffer through?
Just why does every heartbreak
bring me running back to you?
I've lost count of all the breakups
and the make ups I've been through
Tell me, why does every heartbreak
bring me running back to you?

There's an empty kind of something
That I just can not explain
It's a feeling comes with heartbreak
It's a void, but there is pain

Your head is stuck on empty
Your heart it feels the same
If you've never loved another
You'll think that you have gone insane

You grow a little stronger
With every broken heart
Just get out and push through it
That's the best way you can start

If you've never been in love
How can you know the pain
Remember, like the weather
There's always sunshine after rain

Just how many kinds of heartbreak
Do I have to suffer through?
Just why does every heartbreak
bring me running back to you?
I've lost count of all the breakups
and the make ups I've been through
Tell me, why does every heartbreak
bring me running back to you?

Now we all know the story of the grinch and the who's
So listen quite closely for I have some bad news
The Grinch is back in Whoville and before you make a fuss
The blame for his existence must fall on all of us
We the the Grinch in power, we elected him you see
This time the Grinch has got a name, it's Brian Mulroney!
You're a mean one Misher Grinch
The meanest man alive
You stay up in your mansion
At 24 Sussex Drive, Mister Grinch
The Grinch called for his council to gain some ideas
He planned to discover each persons worst fears
"I've demolished their lifestyles in the time I've been King"
Then he thought to himself, "That has a nice ring!"
"I've sold out the country to whomever would buy it"
"It's such a feeling of power, I wish you could try it!"
"I've taxed all I can  I've cut low cost housing"
"It makes me feel special, in fact it's arousing"
"I'll get them this Christmas, make them regret their decision
"Of voting NO on my Constitutional Vision"
"I;ll leave them no money to celebrate the season"
"And if they speak out against me, I'll charge them with treason"
Now, out in the Provinces the people spoke out
We;ve fot to find someone to knock the Grinch out
We've not much to choose from, It'll be a tough job
We cannot depend on the broad and the slob
Audrey McLughlin, I'm sure isn't up to the test
I'm not sure what's bigger her IQ or her chest
Jean Chretien was good, but his reputation is fraying
And if you're not from Quebec, you don't know what he's saying!
The Grinch was a terror who did not like free speech
Elijah Harper learned this when he put "MEECH" on the beach
We need a strong leader to whom the torch can be past
It doesn't matter what party, we just need one fast.
Back up on the hill, the Grinch started to fume
He was feeling threatened by someone, but he wasn't sure whom,
He called in Joe Clark and they formed a long list
Of all those against him, but there was someone they'd missed!
They listed the Premiers from the West to The Rock
There was not one name among them that was made of the stock
to take on the Country and make it stand strong and free
In fact of 5 of 11 couldn't quite spell B.C.!
But deep in his soul the Grinch still felt a tingle
So he called on hils staff and fave Geroge Bush a jingle
Maybe H. Ross Perot was a citizen up here,
You know who he is, he's the one with the ears!
The Prez told the Grinch that Perot wasn no threat
But, the Grinch was still worried, there was someone else yet...
Now the people waged searches in each nook and cranny
And the leader they'd found had a beard, was named Lanny
He said "I can help you but I'll not thake the reigns"
"But, you'll find your new leader if you'll just read MACLEANS"
The people thought hard and when they broke from their huddle
They remembered a phrase from the past "Fuddle Duddle!"
The leader they sought was Pierre Elliot Trudeau!
But no one was sure if he'd return to the show
They approached the ex-leader and they spoke of their quest
They all spoke of taxes and how he was the best
To come back to The Grits and be saviour for all
He thought on it a bit and then he stood up quite tall
He said "Yes, I'll do it!", and his voice came alive
"What I buggered in twelve years, The Grinch has ******* in five!"
Now, the rest of the story is yet to be told
The winds of change are a blowing and they're blowing quite cold
Please heed what I've written and think for a while
For the Grinch is still here with his chin and his smile
This Christmas think ******* the message I've sent
Let's make it the last he get his seven per-cent
Let's make this a Christmas both Joyous and true
Let's give the Grinch what he gave us, but let's give it times two!

I've got an idea, that's just too weird to be real
But, if we could get it to work, I'll let you in on the deal
It's a way to fix things, that's as easy as pie
When I say what it is, you'll just sit and cry
You won't need a mechanic when the car goes to ***
You won't need any makeup to cover that spot
The roof has a leak, don't call for repairs
The window is broke, act as though it's not there
Your tooth hurts like crazy, no dentist to call
Don't call a contractor for that crack in the wall
The baby's still crying, leave the doctor alone
The dog ate your homework, just throw him a bone
The bank just got robbed, don't call for the cops
Don't sit there just waiting for the next shoe to drop
The answer is simple, you won't believe it....I know
But if we could get it to work, our wealth sure would grow
It's a thing so **** simple, that we do in the loo
I know that we do it, and I'm sure you do too
It's a thing just as easy as lighting a candle
to make problems go ****....just jiggle the handle !
If we could apply something this simple to our problems each day
It would be so **** easy...and they'd go away
So before you go crazy, overwhelmed with the world
Just think of this answer that I have unfurled
Remember it now...just like lighting a candle
You can make them go ****...just jiggle the handle.

If you saw me sitting in the park

Feeding pigeons for a while

Would you give me not a second thought

Would you look at me and smile?

If while I fed the pigeons

I was talking really loud

With no one there to listen

Not one person, not a crowd

Would you look at me as crazy

Would you think my mind was messed?

Now put me in my uniform

With my medals on my chest

Now, would this make it different

Am I different than before?

For I didn't leave home like this

It's the end result of war

If you stood and saw me stumble

From a bar mid afternoon

Would you look at me and think

"This one's drunk too soon"?

Would you turn or change direction?

Would you stay out of my path?

Or would you slowly walk behind me

And shake your head or maybe laugh?

Would you look at me as crazy?

Would you think my mind was messed?

Now put me in my uniform

With my medals on my chest

Now, would this make it different

Am I different than before?

For I didn't leave home like this

It's the end result of war

If you saw me in a wheelchair

On my crutches hobbling by

Would you look at me as feeble

Or would you turn away and sigh?

Would you wonder just what happened

To make me handicapped a might

Or would you turn and switch direction?

So I wasn't in your sight

Would you think that I was lazy?

Just because I couldn't walk

Would you look at me as feeble?

Would you take the time to talk?

Just because I might be different

Doesn't mean we are not equal

There is two sides to a story

There can always be a sequel

Just because you might dress better

And your suit is cut so fine

I ask you just one question

Would you lay it on the line?

If your country came and asked you

Would you sign up in a sec

Or would you think there's always others

I can just go write a cheque

Now, if you saw me in the park again

Standing solemn, lost in space

Would you wonder what I'm thinking?

Would you even see my face?

Would you see me as a person?

Would you walk on by and laugh?

Would you ever even notice

I was at the cenotaph

Would you look at me as crazy?

Would you think my mind was messed?

Now put me in my uniform

With my medals on my chest

Now, would this make it different

Am I different than before?

For I didn't leave home like this

It's the end result of war

But, if you saw me feeding pigeons

I ask you sir, would you

If you saw me in my uniform

Dare to come and say "Thank You"?
.

Hunter was happy
The rain was now done
He could go out in the yard
And have some real fun

Staying inside
when there was so much to do
He had to go hunting
For his alphabet zoo

Hunter like letters
And numbers and things
He also likes dreaming
and the joy that it brings

He pulled out his toy box
And he dragged it outside
I'm going to go hunting
He put his hat on with pride

An old hunting helmet
And one wellington boot
A runner, his jacket
And a toy gun to shoot

I'm off to go hunting
I'll will fill a whole zoo
Just call me for dinner
And with that...he was through

A boy's mind is special
They can imagine the world
Is a magical jungle
That to them is unfurled

A zoo from a toy box
All in order....you'll see
He would fill up his zoo
From A back to Z

First came an aardvark
Then a ******, all stuffed
Then a cheetah, a donkey
All cuddly and puffed

E made him think
Yep...an earwig or two
It fit with the letters
And it would go in his zoo

F was a frog,
Made of rubber and green
G ...a gorilla
With a smile, not mean

H was a horse
with a cowboy as well
The zoo, it was growing
And to him, that was swell

I....had him thinking
It's my zoo after all
So, if I can't get a letter
It won't matter at all

J was a jacks game
Not an animal too
But, the jacks looked like spiders
And this was Hunters zoo

K...that was easy
A Kangaroo with a pouch
L was a llama
With three legs and a slouch

M was a monkey
A whole barrel he had
He played with these some
He wasn't doing half bad

In all of an hour
He had collected a herd
Of stuffed toys, ***** and jacks
And he still had no bird

N was a nerf ball
Or a dinosaur egg
It could be what he wanted
He'd now found that fourth leg

The llama assembled
O was easy for him
An octopus floaty
That taught him to swim

P was a parrot
With feathers all red
Q...that's a tough one
He thought to himself in his head

R was a rhino
With no horn, it was broke
S was a snake
His dad bought as a joke

T was a tough one
A terra-dac-til said he
Not knowing the spelling
And that it started with P

U ...under water
so he found a stuffed fish
This was not all that easy
V...well tosh tish

I'll catch two of another
If I can't think of one
Hunting out in the yard
Is really quite fun

W...a walrus
with a moustache and tusks
Like the gorilla before
made of coconut husks

X...was a tough one
Another dinosaur came
Made from his xylophone
And this dino was tame

Y was a yak
He didn't know what it was
But, he just liked the name
So, a yak ....just because

Z was a zebra
blue and black with no white
He'd colored it in with a marker
When he got bored one night

He'd been out for a while
When he heard his mum yell
Time to come in
Bring your toy box as well

All through his dinner
He told of what he had caught
Of the alphabetic adventures
And the creatures he'd got

He watched tv for a while
Then it was bath time and bed
Where Hunter the hunter
Now had a full head

Now, he was dreaming
Of all he must do
This was Hunter the hunter
And his alphabet zoo

Hunter was happy
The rain was now done
He could go out in the yard
And have some real fun

Staying inside
when there was so much to do
He had to go hunting
For his movable zoo

Hunter like letters
And numbers and things
He also likes dreaming
and the joy that it brings

He pulled out his toy box
And he dragged it outside
I'm going to go hunting
He put his hat on with pride

An old hunting helmet
And one wellington boot
A runner, his jacket
And a toy gun to shoot

I'm off to go hunting
I'll will fill a whole zoo
Just call me for dinner
And with that...he was through

A boy's mind is special
They can imagine the world
Is a magical jungle
That to them is unfurled

A zoo from a toy box
All in order....you'll see
He would fill up his zoo
From A back to Z

First came an aardvark
Then a ******, all stuffed
Then a cheetah, a donkey
All cuddly and puffed

E made him think
Yep...an earwig or two
It fit with the letters
And it would go in his zoo

F was a frog,
Made of rubber and green
G ...a gorilla
With a smile, not mean

H was a horse
with a cowboy as well
The zoo, it was growing
And to him, that was swell

I....had him thinking
It's my zoo after all
So, if I can't get a letter
It won't matter at all

J was a jacks game
Not an animal too
But, the jacks looked like spiders
And this was Hunters zoo

K...that was easy
A Kangaroo with a pouch
L was a llama
With three legs and a slouch

M was a monkey
A whole barrel he had
He played with these some
He wasn't doing half bad

In all of an hour
He had collected a herd
Of stuffed toys, ***** and jacks
And he still had no bird

N was a nerf ball
Or a dinosaur egg
It could be what he wanted
He'd now found that fourth leg

The llama assembled
O was easy for him
An octopus floaty
That taught him to swim

P was a parrot
With feathers all red
Q...that's a tough one
He thought to himself in his head

R was a rhino
With no horn, it was broke
S was a snake
His dad bought as a joke

T was a tough one
A terra-dac-til said he
Not knowing the spelling
And that it started with P

U ...under water
so he found a stuffed fish
This was not all that easy
V...well tosh tish

I'll catch two of another
If I can't think of one
Hunting out in the yard
Is really quite fun

W...a walrus
with a moustache and tusks
Like the gorilla before
made of coconut husks

X...was a tough one
Another dinosaur came
Made from his xylophone
And this dino was tame

Y was a yak
He didn't know what it was
But, he just liked the name
So, a yak ....just because

Z was a zebra
blue and black with no white
He'd colored it in with a marker
When he got bored one night

He'd been out for a while
When he heard his mum yell
Time to come in
Bring your toy box as well

All through his dinner
He told of what he had caught
Of the alphabetic adventures
And the creatures he'd got

He watched tv for a while
Then it was bath time and bed
Where Hunter the hunter
Now had a full head

Now, he was dreaming
Of all he must do
This was Hunter the hunter
And his movable zoo

I took my wife out hunting
It didn't work out good
She missed all of her targets
But she shot up lots of wood
She couldn't hit a thing at all
She tried to shoot a duck
She sneezed and dropped her rifle
She put two holes in my truck
The decoys, they got blasted
Instead of five I now have three
She was aiming nowhere near them
She shot them, and killed a tree
Other hunters scurried
They were running for their lives
None of them was dumb enough
to go hunting with their wives
She came out wearing makeup
For the photo op she said
I said that will not happen
Unless you've got something that's dead
Forty pounds of pine tree
And a dozen more of birch
Are the trophies she'll be mounting
Up on the fireplace they'll perch
She almost took a ranger down
She mistook him for a goose
He gave to me a ticket
Saying...this girl should not be loose
He said the only kind of hunting
That she should be around
Is in the fish shop or the butcher
Where she can hunt it by the pound
He took us from the woodlot
With our trophies, shot up wood
He told her never to return there
And made sure she understood
He then turned and he told me
That it would be real good for my health
If I ever brought her back there
He'd shoot me dead himself

It's 2 a.m.
Time to go
Get on the road again
Shower, shave
and grab some joe
I am a workin' man

Each day
my routine
one...two...three
it is
the thing
that makes me me

A working man,
Hard workin' man
I do what must be done
I'm up each day
while it's still dark
And I'm not finished till the sun....

goes down
driving cross the land
I'm up at two
In bed by ten
I am a workin' man

I never
seem to
find the things
To love
What working
hard may bring

My truck
all loaded
Time to hit the road
the alarm
goes off
inside my head

I spend
most of
my life alone
it's me
my truck
and the road

it's 2 a.m.
it's time to go
I am a working ma
shower, shave
that cup of joe
workin' makes me who I am

I was watching as the parade passed by
All the soldiers and the tanks
I figured that in some small way
I must go tell them "Thanks"

I worked my way throughout the crowd
To where the parade would end
And hopefully my small  "thanks"
Would get me a new friend

I watched as people finished
I got my words straight in my head
I walked up to a soldier
And this is what he said...

I am not a hero
Just a soldier, nothing more
I'm just doing my duty
As so many have before

I'm a soldier, not a hero
I am just the same as you
I'm just doing my duty
As I know that you would too

I shook his hand and said my "Thanks"
Then I moved away, unnerved
I had to tell him more...
Tell him that I'm glad he served

I turned and at that moment
I saw, a glint, a little sheen
Right above this mans left boot
Where his shin bone should have been

I went back on my mission
I had my words there in my head
He smiled, pulled his pant leg down
And this is what he said...

I am not a hero
Just a soldier, nothing more
I'm just doing my duty
As so many have before

I'm a soldier, not a hero
I am just the same as you
I'm just doing my duty
As I know that you would too

I shook his hand and smiled
Left him standing all alone
With a leg of polished metal
Where once before was bone

To me, he is a hero
And he will be 'till he's dead
I remember how he cut me off
And I remember what he said....

I am not a hero
Just a soldier, nothing more
I'm just doing my duty
As so many have before

I'm a soldier, not a hero
I am just the same as you
I'm just doing my duty
As I know that you would too

(man enters a tavern)
I'd like a room and a bath please

(tavern keeper)
a room I can do, but, a bath, totally out of the question

(man)
your sign says "rooms with baths", and I would like a room with a bath, as advertised

(tk)
you aren't from around here are you?

(man)
no, why?



(tk)
I thought not, so, I will say this slow...A room I can do, but a bath is totally out of the question

(man)
there is no need to take that tone with me. I made a perfectly legitimate request, as per your signage, and you take umbrage with me.

(tk)
I did not, and besides, I can't take it, if I don't know what it is. Hold on one minute....(walks outside, grabs a shovel on the way out...knocks sign down).

(tk)
(upon re-entry)....now, about that sign you said you saw. I believe you were mistaken.

(man)
this is the "three rivers tavern" as per the sign, which I assume is no longer hanging out front.

(tk)
It is, and your assumption is correct...it isn't

(man)
so, being the "three rivers tavern" would there not be three rivers in the proximity of this establishment from which you would be able to draw water for me, a bypasser, to get a bath

(tk)
yes...and no

(man)
what kind of an answer is that?

(tk)
Yes, it is the "three rivers tavern" and no, there are not three rivers in close proximity of this establishment from which I, a humble tavern keeper, and former owner of a sign, advertising, falesly, I might add...the presence of a bath in this establishment.

(man)
you are called "three rivers tavern" yet, there are no rivers nearby.? what kind of advertising is that?

(tk)
firstly, the sign was already made up, so, it was cheap. Secondly, who are you to question the name of my establishment, which I might add, is quite famous  in the region for many things, other than it's name, which, we may now be changing due to the sudden loss of our sign.

(man)
I sir, am Robin Hood of Sherwood.

(tk)
your'e not

(man)
I am. I am Robin Hood, Sir Robin of Loxley, if you please.

(tk)
I repeat...you're not. Not in those tights.

(man)
And what is wrong with my tights?

(tk)
Seriously? Do I really have to tell you that?

(man)
Yes, what is wrong with these tights?

(tk)
First off, Robin Hood, The REAL Robin Hood wouldn't be caught dead in those. Baggy, Saggy, there's leaves on them, holes...Robin Hood would have nice tight tights that were in good kip and accentuated his....

(man)
*******!

(tk)
exactly

(man)
No, I mean, how would you know what Robin Hood would wear? I mean, what I would wear? The condition of these tights helps me keep incognito in local archery competitions. If I went around showing ...

(tk)
*******!!! INCOGNITO? You are no more than a wayward traveller trying to get a free room on the reputation of someone else, namely...Robin Hood

(man)
My good sir, these are old, tights, ripped from swinging through the trees over time.

(tk)
If you are Robin Hood, tights or not...prove it to me. I'll give you the room, and go for the water myself.

(man)
How should I prove it, with no arrows, bow, and apparently no weaponry in sight. How do I go about showing I am Robin Hood?

(tk)
Use mine. Yep...use my bow, and I dare you to...to...shoot an apple off of his head over there. Oy....wake up. Catch (tosses an apple to man in the corner)
Put that on your head...he's gonna shoot it off.

(man in corner)
He's gonna what? off my...no he's not.

(man)
No, I will not. You obviously have me confused with William Tell. He's Swiss, they do things differently over there.

(tk)
You will, or you won't get your room

(man)
And if I should miss, what then?

(tk)
Not a problem. I've got lots of arrows and apples. We can just keep trying.

(man)
I mean HIM, what if I hit HIM.?

(tk)
You won't if you are who you say you are, and besides, I said I've got lots.

(man in corner)
But I'm your brother in law

(tk)
I've lots of those too. Now, here (hands arrow and bow to Robin)
Step back 10 paces, I'll open the door, and you....put that apple up.
One shot...hit the apple,....room and a bath....miss, and it's off with you

(man)
I really don't think...

(tk)
shoot or leave. Or...I can call the sherrif. If you are Robin Hood, he'll certainly want to see you.

(man)
Fine, give me those. (walks back 10 paces as the tavern owner opens the door).
(He fires, splitting the arrow in two, as the man in the corner slides to the floor)

(tk)
ROBIN!!!! Why didn't you say so? I knew it was you all the time. What can I do for you?

(Robin)
First, pick him up. Next that room. Then I have some requirements, that I need not be tested on. A bow, arrows, clothing, footwear. I need to look the part at the tournament coming up, when I do the big reveal, and I need the proper equipment. You, will help me with that, and seeing as how I have little to no money, as I said, I will need to put this on account which I will pay after the tournament.

(tk)
credit? You want credit?

(Robin)
Yes, as you can see, I am good for it.

(tk)
I saw you shoot an apple off a mans head from ten paces, not...win an archery competition with archers from all over Europe. CREDIT?

(Robin)
Here, hold this apple.

(tk)
Right, First things first...bow and arrows!!

(Robin)
I shall need to see the fletcher.

(tk)
that would be baker

(Robin)
No, I need a bow and arrows. I need a fletcher

(tk)
Exactly, Baker

(Robin)
I am at a loss. I need to see a fletcher and yet you keep saying Baker

(tk)
Right, The Fletcher is Baker. That's the man's name. You need to see Baker, the fletcher.

(Robin)
I see....I think. So I see the baker.

(tk)
You see the fletcher

(Robin)
Baker

(tk)
exactly

(Robin)
that's what I said.

(tk)
No,you said the baker

(Robin)
That's what you told me.

(tk)
No, I did not. I said The Fletcher was Baker. That's the mans name

(Robin)
Baker

(tk)
Now,you have it

(Robin)
Assuming I get what I need from the fletcher. I need a tailor.

(tk)
pastor

(Robin)
No, I do not need to see a pastor, I need a tailor

(tk)
That's the man's name. Pastor is the tailor

(Robin)
So, the pastor is the tailor

(tk)
No, Cooper is the pastor, pastor is the tailor.

(Robin)
I don't need a cooper, I need the tailor

(tk)
exactly. pastor

(Robin)
So, let me see...I go to see the pastor and the fletcher

(tk)
No, you see the tailor, pastor and then the fletcher

(Robin)
The Baker.

(tk)
Listen closely, or you'll never get your room. You see Baker the Fletcher and Pastor, the tailor. Not, the baker and the pastor. You keep getting mixed up

(Robin)
I'll need to write this down
Ok, for footwear, Cobbler

(tk)
Butcher

(Robin)
The butcher makes shoes too.?

(tk)
No. Butcher is the cobbler

(Robin)
That's what I said

(tk)
Look, it's dead easy, you go to see Baker, Pastor and Butcher and you'll be set

(Robin)
I'll end up with bread , a bible and meat. How does this help me in an archery competition?

(tk)
No...you see baker the fletcher, pastor the tailor and butcher the cobbler. It couldn't get any simpler

(Robin)
Maybe I don't need that room after all.

(tk)
follow...fletcher baker pastor tailor butcher cobbler. then back here.

(Robin)
No...I think maybe....is there another village close by.

(tk)
Yes, on the other side of the three bridges

(Robin)
Which, as we know, do not exist

(tk)
And...they speak Welsh!!! your choice

fade out

My head is reeling
What a feeling
Bass line pounding through my brain
Skull is cracking
Quite nerve racking
I need something to help dull the pain

Images horrific
Pressure is terrific
Listening to what the station plays
Eyes are burning
The world is turning
It's like it is the end of days

I need to spend some time relaxing
Getting my music back into my head
Listening to ABBA oldies
followed by David Gates and Bread
An afterword or two by Chapin
With The  Carpenters along as well
Will help me clear my mind of what's there
And take away the images of hell

KHEL, hour of power
The station of the hour
Killing my braincells by the day
Hard Rock bottom feeders
Rotten Singers, silly bleeders
I don't know why I stay

Thrash and Metal
Brain won't settle
My head is almost set to burst
Glass and Glitter
Makes me twitter
I no longer think disco was the worst

I need to spend some time relaxing
Getting my music back into my head
Listening to ABBA oldies
followed by David Gates and Bread
An afterword or two by Chapin
With The  Carpenters along as well
Will help me clear my mind of what's there
And take away the images of hell

Hey There DJ
That's what the kids say
I do it just to help to pay the bills
Super sonic
I need a tonic
To help me swallow down the pain pills

Every morning
Without warning
The pain begins in my head
Metal grating
Music hating
I guess I'll feel alright when I'm dead

I need to spend some time relaxing
Getting my music back into my head
Listening to ABBA oldies
followed by David Gates and Bread
An afterword or two by Chapin
With The  Carpenters along as well
Will help me clear my mind of what's there
And take away the images of hell

Listen to me people
I'll take you on a journey
To places far away
Hold on tight and listen
From my mind
To yours today

Places of adventure
With people intertwined
With stories
And great places
That come from in my mind

some say  I am a prophet
I'm a storyteller too
Open up your mind to me
That's all you have to do
I will take you from the present
To the past and farther on
I am the storyteller
Close your eyes, and please hold on

Characters of fiction
Places that are real
Melt them both together
Tell me how you feel

Mixing words and music
In a portrait in your mind
Listen to the colours
As the words and music bind

some say I am a prophet
I'm a storyteller too
Open up your mind to me
That's all you have to do
I will take you from the present
To the past and farther on
I am the storyteller
Close your eyes, and please hold on

Dance to what you're hearing
Relax and float away
Listen to the story
Your're here, so now let's play

Combine the words and pictures
With the music and you'll see
The storyteller's story
And The Story Teller's me

some say  I am a prophet
I'm a storyteller too
Open up your mind to me
That's all you have to do
I will take you from the present
To the past and farther on
I am the storyteller
Close your eyes, and please hold on

When I look at you
you look past me
I look at you
You look away
I broke your trust
But I am trying
I am waiting
For the day

I broke a vow
I stand repentant
I love you more
Than you could know
For all the days
I will be waiting
I'll earn your trust
I love you so

It tore me up to keep the secret
I knew that you would find out in the end
I know it takes two folks to tango
And now I've lost a lover and a friend

A few quick drinks
And I was ******'
The devil took my
mind away
I've said I'm sorry
to you darlin'
I just don't know
what more to say

I look at you
And you look past me
I'll stay until
you see me here
I did wrong
And I am paying
I only wish
That you would hear

It tore me up to keep the secret
I knew that you would find out in the end
I know it takes two folks to tango
And now I've lost a lover and a friend

Do not weep, for I am with you
Even though we are apart
Do not weep, for I am with you
Always keep me in your heart

Think of me and smile
I will always be so near
Think of me and smile
I am fine now, so have no fear

I'm in his arms in heaven
Close your eyes and think of me
I'm in his arms in heaven
Exactly where I'm supposed to be

Remember me and I'll be with you
Don't worry, we'll meet again, I'm sure
Remember me and I'll be with you
Keep me close for evermore

The house was always empty
Three roads over, two roads back
Never saw a light on
Windows painted black
Fields were always empty
Never saw a sign of life
The gloom that hung around it
You could cut it with a knife

Haunted, yep...it's haunted
Said the people of the house
In fact they always whispered
And were quiet like a mouse
When talking of the cursed place
Just in case the house could hear
You could feel the hair raise on your arms
When ever you were near

Haunted Houses, ghosts and ghouls
They exist and break the rules
I believe, and I'm no fool
in Haunted Houses, ghosts and ghouls

Every year at Halloween
The house is on the news
They film it from a distance though
Because they're shaking in their shoes
For almost ninety years or so
It's been dark and void of light
And somehow it seems darker
On that one October night

Stories fly around the town
Of how children disappear
It's just a nasty rumour
Based on someone's healthy fear
The house is just a building
Nothing going on I see
But, go and knock upon the door
Ask anyone but me

Haunted Houses, ghosts and ghouls
They exist and break the rules
I believe, and I'm no fool
in Haunted Houses, ghosts and ghouls


Even in the daylight hours
The house has people scared
I've never been out there myself
And I've been triple dared
I turned it down and ran away
I'm not afraid to tell
Because the noises coming from the house
Sound like the hounds of hell

I know there's ghosts and beastie things
Living in the place
And every year on Halloween
I'm afraid they'll show their face
I know the stories that they tell
At least half of them are true
I believe in ghosts and ghoulies ....and
I need to know...do you?

I Believe

.



I believe a butterfly

Can stop a baseball game

I know, because I've seen it

And it really was a shame,

I believe a simple housefly

Can stop a moving train,

I believe single piece of dust

Can also make it rain

I believe in every mountain

There's a pebble on it's own

I believe that every grain of sand

Is a pearl that hasn't grown

I believe that Father Christmas

Is quite real and in your heart

I believe that you can finish

Every task, if you just start

I believe, like Charlie Bucket

There's a golden ticket to be found

I believe that a tree that's in the forest

When it falls, will make a sound

I believe in every mountain

There's a pebble on it's own

I believe that every grain of sand

Is a pearl that hasn't grown

I believe that love's forever

But the one thing about this

I believe forever's infinite

And it may just last a kiss

I believe to stay together

That one's trust, it must be earned

I believe you jump into the fire

Before you know if you'll get burned

I believe in every mountain

There's a pebble on it's own

I believe that every grain of sand

Is a pearl that hasn't grown

I believe that a strong handshake

Will seal a contract, so I've heard

I believe one's reputation

Should be based on a mans' word

I believe that there is wonder

In everything that we may find

I believe that life is better

When you can have an open mind

I believe we're just a heartbeat

In the timeline life has spanned

I believe that every person

Is an ungrown grain of sand

I believe in every mountain

There's a pebble on it's own

I believe that every grain of sand

Is a pearl that hasn't grown

I believe....

When I am all grown up
There's lots that I can be
A million different choices
And the choice is up to me

I can be a fireman
And drive a truck all painted red
I can work inside a kitchen
And make sure that folks get fed

I can be a sailor
And sail from sea to sea
I have a million different choices
And the choice is up to me

I can be a teacher,
and teach children to write
Or I can be a singer
And sing on stage each night

A footballer, a builder
or a worker in a zoo
It's up to me exactly what
job that I will do

A dancer, or a dentist
A scientist or vet
It's up to me and no one else
What kind of job I'll get

A painter, or an acrobat
A lifeguard on the beach
I can be an astronaut
And to the stars I'll reach

I can be most anything
There's lot's that I can be
There's so much for me out there
The choice is up to me

I can drive a race car
Let my imagination soar
This is just a short list
There's a million, million more

I can be most anything
There's a lot out there for me
For I am just beginning
And there's lots that I can be

An astronaut, a soldier