He died 25 years ago today, which is a quarter of a century.
He produced 'Never Say Never Again' with Sean Connery.
He was born in 1932 and was a man who people would admire.
First he was married to Judith Deborah Feldman and then to Talia Shire.
He was the executive producer of 'Rad' and 'I Am The Cheese'.
When he produced movies, they were certainly sure to please.

Yesterday, I ordered a pizza and washed my hands and then I had a fit.
When I came to the table, I saw that my family was eating all of it.
They grabbed the entire pizza, they didn't even leave me one slice.
That was inconsiderate of my family, it certainly wasn't nice.
Today, I ordered a pizza with anchovies which my entire family hates.
They wouldn't touch the pizza and they thought what I did wasn't great.
They were all angry because they didn't get their meal.
So I told the jerks that now they know how I feel.

We should thank the Lord Jehovah for the time that we've got.
You may live to be a hundred but then again, you may not.
I've seen people die at the young age of forty-five.
If I'm that unlucky, in just one year from now, I'll no longer be alive.
Some people die even younger than that, we never know when we will go.
If you wonder if minor annoyances should get you down, the answer is no.
Each day that we have is so precious and it's what everybody should appreciate.
Treasure your family and friends because every day you have with them is great.

Your wife isn't carrying your baby, she's carrying mine.
She wanted me to marry her but I had to decline.
She didn't want tongues to wag about her being an ***** mother.
She was afraid of people's reactions, that's why she married you after becoming your lover.
She pushed her mother down the stairs because she's very mean.
She posted naked pictures of me on Facebook, she's also obscene.
I'd had enough of her cruel behavior and I decided to dump her then and there.
When I learned she told you that you're the father, I had to tell you because it's unfair.
I can't let her do this to you, I can't and won't keep quiet.
You may not believe me and you may even want to fight.
When the baby is born, I'll tell you what you must do and it will be for the best.
You can prove that she's pulling the wool over your eyes with a DNA test.
I will gladly give her money for child support because it's my baby.
And when I tell you that you must have your marriage annulled, I don't mean maybe.

Even though you complain because you have thirteen kids to feed,
You don't agree that a vasectomy is what you need.
You won't let a doctor get anywhere near your testicles to give you a snip.
You can't stop breeding like rabbits because you can't keep your pants zipped.
You could use condoms but you won't do that either.
You can't keep your hands off your wife long enough to take a breather.
Now you've learned that your wife is pregnant again.
And what makes it worse is that she's going to have twins.

Even though my wife is somebody who I love and adore,
She decided not to let me touch or see her ***** anymore.
Every time I wanted to see or caress them, she said  no and I would cry.
She wouldn't let me anywhere near them and she told me the reason why.
She said that  I couldn't see or touch them because I'm poor.
She said that I could see and touch them if I got rich but not before.
But I've always been so poor that I'm destitute.
Last month, I decided to rob a bank to get the loot.
I was caught by the cops after they shot me in the ****.
I knew  that I would go to jail, I knew that I was licked.
After a doctor examined  me, he said that I can no longer father children and I'm depressed.
I'm sterile and I'll be spending many years in prison because of my wife's *******.

Your life was in peril nineteen years ago when you died of a heart attack.
You've been dead for many years and sadly, you will not be coming back.
You starred as the third Doctor in Doctor Who.
That TV show became much better because of you.
You starred as the Doctor from 1970 to 1974.
People were sad when you quit because you wouldn't be the Doctor anymore.
When I ordered a Doctor Who episode that you starred in, you were still alive.
But when I received it ten days later, people were sad because you didn't survive.
Besides being the Doctor, you had many other acting roles during your fabulous career.
You haven't been forgotten even though you've been dead for nearly twenty years.

Mom thought I would be a girl back in 1971.
She was surprised to learn that I was a son.
She was surprised but she wasn't disappointed in the least.
We were very close until the day when she became deceased.
When I was in Mom's womb, she thought I would be a girl instead of a boy.
But she didn't care, just knowing that I was a healthy baby brought her joy.

The fruit that Adam and Eve ate may not have been apples, it could've been oranges, bananas, peaches or pears.
Many people assume that it was apples but none of us know because we weren't there.
Adam and Eve were stupid, they chose to obey a serpent instead of The Lord.
Their punishment was banishment and losing eternal life, they lost their reward.
But whatever fruit it was, when Adam and Eve ate it, it became the world's first sin.
Adam and Eve's stupidity caused all of us to pay the price, it causes our lives to end.

It is illegal to refuse to hire disabled people in the state of Tennessee.
Even though I graduated from medical school, a hospital wouldn't hire me.
They said they couldn't hire me because I'd do a lot of harm.
They said I couldn't be a doctor because I only have one arm.
I sued them and they were forced to hire me even though I'm disabled.
But when I performed an operation, the person died on the operating table.
I operated on a woman who had fifteen kids, she was going to have her tubes tied.
If I hadn't been the doctor who performed the surgery, she wouldn't have died.
Swift action was taken, I was fired immediately.
They had no other choice but to terminate me.
There were two important reasons why I shouldn't have been part of the hospital's workforce.
I only have one arm and the medical school that I graduated from was a correspondence course.

It was the night before Christmas and all through the house,
Santa stole all of my stuff and he ran off with my spouse.
That fatso stole everything that I had.
I was shocked because Santa went bad.
All that he gave me for Christmas was the finger and some coal.
I decided to get even this morning when I went to the North Pole.
I gave his reindeers liquor and got them drunk.
When Santa started flying, his ship was sunk.
His reindeers crashed and Santa has a lot of broken bones.
And to add insult to injury, I pelted the punk with stones.
Now Santa is in the hospital in a body cast.
I got even for what he did one year in the past.

Certain people believe Sean Connery was the best James Bond and they're right.
He also starred in "The Hunt For Red October", "The Presidio" and "First Knight".
When he died on Halloween, his family and fans were sure to grieve.
He gave a wonderful performance in "Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves".
In 1958, he starred in "Another Time, Another Place".
When he died, it was hard for his friends and family to face.
When we lost such a talented actor, it was a shame.
Talent should've been Sean Connery's middle name.

It was very sad when your life came to an end.
You weren't just a cat, you were also my friend.
You became my cat after you were born in 2002.
You were good to me and I was good to you.
You were black, white and gray.
I miss you because you passed away.
You made me feel better whenever I got upset.
You were my big buddy and you were a great pet.
You were very pretty and friendly too.
It was a privilege to have owned you.

Your leg was infected and the infection spread.
You had an abdominal aneurysm and you're dead.
The infection spread to your stomach and you hid your illness from all of us.
You didn't want to go to a hospital because doctors were people who you didn't trust.

If we'd known how sick you were, you would've seen a doctor immediately because we would've made you go.
When we found out how sick you were, you were too ill to put up a fight, you were too ill to be able to say no.
You were taken to Fort Sanders Hospital in Knoxville but sadly, it was too late.
You suffered tremendously before you died, you experienced a sad and tragic fate.

I woke up in the hospital and found you lying motionless in your bed.
When you had a deadly aneurysm, you would have no future ahead.
When I learned that you hid your illness from us, it made me feel pretty bad.
I love you Mom, you were the best mother that a person could've had.

God is with me everyday, he's with me everywhere I go.
If people wonder if he will abandon me, the answer is no.
God is with me when I'm at my house, at the lake and even at Walmart.
Everywhere I go, I carry God in my heart.
God has been with me since I was born in August of 1971.
I thank the Lord for all of the good things that he has done.

When it came to that dog's heart, his owner's death sure did break it.
He lost his master and his best friend and he simply couldn't take it.
He stayed at his owner's grave and he would continuously howl.
When I tried to move him, he snapped at me and he would growl.
I gave him food but he wouldn't eat and he starved to death.
He couldn't live without his owner and he took his final breath.
A veterinarian tried to help the dog but he growled and snapped at him too.
The vet wanted to save the dog's life but sadly, there was nothing he could do.
The dog was miserable and he was determined to die.
The vet and I couldn't save his life but we sure did try.
Now that dog is with his master in Heaven above.
He couldn't go on because he lost the human who he loved.

My cousin has seen many Bibles that people have thrown away.
Bibles are our greatest possessions, the world has seen better days.
The Bible is like a letter from God and that makes it unique.
It can help us to gain eternal life, that's what we should seek.
The words in the Bible can bring peace even when things seem gray.
The Bible is our greatest possession so please don't throw yours away.

Fall is my second favorite season of the year.
I love the Autumn as much as people love beer.
The leaves will change color and fall from the trees.
When it comes to the Autumn, it is sure to please.
Fall is a season that I really appreciate.
I love the Autumn because it's great.

I killed a man just to get in the newspapers and on the Six O'Clock news.
I wanted to get noticed even though my freedom was something I'd lose.
I did it just for the publicity.
I wanted people to notice me.
Because of what I did, millions of people are outraged.
It sure did feel good to see my face on the front page.
Now I'm being tried and I'm facing jail.
That idiotic judge actually let me out on bail.
Killing that man was wrong but I'm not one bit sorry for what I've done.
But I am sorry because the victim's dad is going to **** me with his gun.

I'm thankful because Jehovah God is the most important part of my life.
I'm thankful to have two new friends, Jason Laster and Stephanie, his wife.
I'm also thankful to have my other friends and my brother.
God is always thankful when people are kind to one another.

My son asked for a video game console and I ended up being sorry.
I went Christmas shopping at a flea market and bought him an Atari.
When he unwrapped the Atari 5200 on Christmas morning, he had a fit.
He has blessed me out before but this is the only time that I've been hit.

He took a sledgehammer to his gift that he hated.
It was over thirty-five years old, it was outdated.
He called me stupid because I bought him a console that is 8-bit.
He said he wanted a PS4 or XBOX One and then he threw his fit.

I had all of his BS that I could stand so I put him over my knee.
His **** is black and blue because of the way he treated me.
I gave him a good spanking because he crossed the line.
Because of that Atari 5200, I put blisters where the sun doesn't shine.

I have a son who is so stupid that I want to give him a slap.
He wanted hushpuppies and I said "We got no time for that crap!"
I'm Buford T. Justice and I'm a bubblegum machine.
I'm the best sheriff that the state of Texas has ever seen.
I've been chasing a man who calls himself the Bandit.
He frustrates me so **** much that I can't stand it.
I've tried and tried but he's somebody who I can't catch.
He drives 110 miles per hour, I've finally met my match.
When I starred in the 3rd Bandit movie, the Bandit turned out to be fake.
My idiotic son and I will catch the real Bandit no matter what it takes.

Almost fifty-three years ago, I became your grandson.
You died 30 years ago today at the age of seventy-one.
You became sick when a doctor prescribed you some Dilantin.
The allergy ended your life and we would never see you again.
Your death hurt others as well as me.
Your body was in such a bad shape that you had a closed casket ceremony.
The Dilantin was what made your body end up in such a bad shape.
When you perished, almost two hundred people attended your wake.
You lived in Sneedville but passed away in a hospital in Morristown.
It was a sad day thirty years ago when we buried you in the ground.

We've lost a talented actor who was named David Warner.
His friends, family and fans have become his mourners.
Warner's life ended and millions were devastated when they heard the bad news.
In 1991, he starred in "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret Of The Ooze".
When he guest-starred on "Lois and Clark: The New Adventures Of Superman", he portrayed Jor-El.
He starred in "Star Trek V: The Final Frontier" and "Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country" as well.
In 1984, he starred in "A Christmas Carol" as Bob Cratchit.
He also starred in "The Man With Two Brains" and "Time Bandits".
We've lost a man who was both talented and clever.
He died at the age of eighty and he's gone forever.

You broke my heart when you stole and used my bride.
She ran off with you and I'm going to take it out of your hide.
I'm going to knock out your teeth when I give you a beating.
You will have to gum your food to be able to continue eating.
You soon dumped my wife because to you, she was just a *******.
I just punched you in the face and it gives me pleasure to see you fall.
You just got up off the floor but I just knocked you down again.
My wife meant nothing to you, you give a bad name to men.
You told her that you loved her but you lied.
She was so upset that she committed suicide.
Convincing her to leave me was mean but using her was meaner.
I just pulled out my 44 Magnum pistol and blew off your wiener.
I can't let you continue to be a ****, I can't allow that at all.
I have made sure that my late wife will be your last *******.

If you combine Jesus, all of the Angels and every Human Being, they're not half as good as God.
Jehovah loves people tremendously even though we're flawed.
God is good, God is kind.
God can give peace of mind.
I try to improve myself to please Jehovah because I should.
Jehovah is wonderful and I love him because he is so good.

He was a great actor but now he's gone.
He starred in seven movies as James Bond.
Connery was awesome in every role that he played.
He gave a terrific performance in "Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade".

His first Bond movie was "Dr. No".
His death was a devastating blow.
He was born in Scotland and died in the Bahamas on Halloween.
Sean Connery was one of the greatest actors that we've ever seen.

I've been shot and my life is about to end.
I took a bullet to save my wife from her ex-boyfriend.
He regards her as a piece of his property.
What he intended to happen to her, happened to me.
The cops just arrested him and took him away.
He's a violent and crazy man and now he will pay.
I love my wife more than life itself and without her, I wouldn't have wanted to go on.
I don't regret taking the bullet for her even though I'll soon be gone.
She's holding my hand and she's crying.
It's tearing her apart because I'm dying.
Everything is getting dark and I feel so cold, I can hear the angels calling on me.
I regret that I'm going to lose the love of my life but one day she and I will be together for eternity.

You became family when you moved to my place.
You showed a lot of love when you licked my face.
It was sad and heartbreaking when I watched you die.
You weren't just a dog, you were also my sweetie pie.
I bought you in 2020 and I only owned you for three years.
Your death is a painful experience that has driven me to tears.
You were small with chocolate brown fur.
When I say that you were special, I'm sure.
If I live to be a hundred, you're a dog who I'll never forget.
I will always be proud because you were a wonderful pet.
I have something important to tell you because it's true.
You were my Chihuahua and I'll always love and miss you.

When I learned about his death, it was hard to believe.
An actor died twenty years ago today on Christmas Eve.
Sadly, he died at the young age of twenty-six.
He starred in The Supernaturals, A Smoky Mountain Christmas and other flicks.

He starred in The Dukes of Hazzard and Magnum P.I. as well.
He tried to beat Colon Cancer but sadly, he was destined to fail.
When a person dies on Christmas Eve, it's a shame.
He was a talented actor and Chad Sheets was his name.

My nephew is making me play a different version of hide and seek.
This version involves a gun, if he finds me, things will become bleak.
In this version, if a player is found, he is killed.
I'm scared out of my wits, I'm sure not thrilled.

He said if I didn't play the game, he'd **** me on the spot.
He's trying to find where I'm hid but I hope he can not.
He is a twisted and totally evil child.
His parents have never disciplined him and he's running wild.

My nephew just found and shot me, I have a bullet in my chest.
My life is flashing before my eyes and soon I'll be laid to rest.
My wife and kids will be devastated when they learn that I bought the farm.
This evil little child needs to be killed or locked up before he can do more harm.

I've been saying Grace before I eat for the last eighteen months.
But before I went to the Kingdom Hall, I never said Grace once.
Just two years ago I didn't thank God for my food.
I am so glad that I decided to change my attitude.
God could've put me in another location.
A part of the world where people are dying of starvation.
But God has been kind enough to see to it that I have food.
We should all be thankful to God, he deserves our gratitude.
The next time that you sit down to feed your face,
Please be thankful to The Lord, please say Grace.

You died and it's something that I don't like to remember.
You won't be with me again on the 25th of December.
Nine Christmases ago was the last Christmas that I spent with you.
When it comes to your death, I wish I could say that it isn't true.
You were the most unselfish person I've ever known, you loved to share.
You wanted me to be happy and it was wonderful to know how much you cared.
You gave giant print Bibles to people while you lived.
You were so very special because you loved to give.
It's very sad because we can't be together on Christmas ever again.
Merry Christmas, Mom, you must be having a ball up there in Heaven.

God is there for us and he'll never forsake us.
He will be there until the days that he takes us.
He'll continue to be there for us when we're in Heaven.
He sent his only begotten son to save men and women.
You may think that God has forsaken you but that's not true.
God will always love all of us and we need to love him too.
God will never forsake us and when things are bad, he will be there.
Through thick and thin, God will be there because he truly does care.

Robert Vaughn's demise is something that billions of people deplore.
If he had lived just eleven days longer, he would've turned eighty-four.
Vaughn had the ability to make movies and TV shows enjoyable.
When we lost this great man, it was like losing a precious jewel.
When we watched him on the small and the big screen, it was always sure to please.
During his later years, he continued to act and he did commercials for attorneys.
If you visit Hollywood, you can see Vaughn's star on the Walk of Fame.
Because of his death, television and movies will never again be the same.

Some people were upset and they said it was unfair.
George Bailey killed old man Potter and he went to the electric chair.
George discovered that the eight thousand was stolen by Potter.
George became enraged and he was angry enough to slaughter.
George went to Potter's house with his gun and he shot Potter through the heart.
As they strapped George to the electric chair, he knew his decision wasn't smart.
George refused to have his head shaven and his hair burst into flames.
Poor George truly became a hot head and he only had himself to blame.
George became a psychopath even though he used to be nice.
He decided it was best to **** Potter and sadly, he paid the price.

It's that time of the month again, your rent is due.
You'd better pay up or I'll beat the hell out of you.
Don't try to get out of paying again, I don't want to hear an excuse.
Stop trying to get pity by saying you were a victim of ****** abuse.
I want my money, I don't want to hear excuses or lies.
When it comes to giving me an excuse, don't even try.
Do I get my money or do you get a beating?
Pay me or my fists are what you'll be eating.
You just insulted me, you said that I'm so fat that I look like the Goodyear Blimp.
I just punched you in the face and you've started crying because you're a wimp.
Stop blubbering like a two year old, be mature like an adult.
And I will permanently disable you if you hurl anymore insults.
I'd like to avoid sending you to the emergency room and myself to jail.
Just gimme my **** money, I'm getting tired of having to raise hell.

It's been three months since the day when you died.
You were a wonderful dog and that can't be denied.
I remember the day when I bought you.
When you died, it was a terrible thing to go through.
I became a lucky man when your former owner sold you to me.
You were my Chihuahua and I bought you on August 18, 2020.
When you died, it was something that was sure to devastate.
You were my dog and that's something I'll always appreciate.

On November the 6th, I voted against Phil Bredesen.
Yesterday, I was pleased to learn that he didn't win.
I also voted against Bredesen once before.
Back in 2006, when he was Tennessee's Governor.
This time he was running to be Tennessee's Senator.
I didn't like how he did his job when he was Governor.
Now he's licking his wounds because he didn't win.
Many of Tennessee's residents voted against Bredesen.

The worst thing that ever happened to me, happened in 2013.
You were one of the most wonderful people that I've ever seen.
Your death hurt me so much that for a while, I lost the ability to even think.
You were taken after being a part of my life for forty-one years and that stinks.
For a long time after your death, I felt miserable and all tore up on the inside.
The worst thing that ever happened to me, happened on the day when you died.

I didn't expect my black Cocker Spaniel to die.
He died 30 years ago today on the 14th of July.
He was born in 1981 and Poochie was his name.
He was killed by a car and it was a **** shame.
Poochie was unfriendly at times and sometimes he would bite.
But he was my dog and when that car killed him, it wasn't right.
It was sad because my dog couldn't live anymore.
He died thirty years ago on July the 14th of 1994.

Every person on the Simpsons is sick and they will die.
They're suffering from Jaundice, that's the reason why.
Every fan of the Simpsons will have to nurse a broken heart.
They can say goodbye to Homer, Marge, Maggie, Lisa and Bart.
I'm the bearer of bad news but I'm not trying to be mean.
The people of Springfield have the worst cases of Jaundice that has ever been seen.
I give all of them just six months to live, nine months at the most.
They will die from Jaundice, that's what the doctors have diagnosed.
People will be happy to be rid of Sideshow Bob and MR. Burns as well.
Because of the strangelings Bart has received, Homer will go to Hell.
Everybody in Springfield is very upset because they're going to die.
After being on TV for over 30 years, they can kiss their butts goodbye.

Thanks God for letting me wake up today.
Thanks God for letting me live another day.
Thanks God for letting me have food and not to suffer from starvation.
Thanks God for being my best friend and also for being my salvation.
Thanks God for letting me have a house and not to be homeless.
Thanks God for the love you've given, you truly are the greatest.
Thanks God for everything that I have, it's nice to know that you care.
Thanks God for not abandoning me, thanks for always being there.

Ask not what God can do for you, ask what you can do for God.
If you do something that will please The Lord, Angels will applaud.
Give somebody a Bible or take them to church with you.
If you introduce somebody to God, it's a good thing to do.

You can give God a gift by just obeying his Ten Commandments.
Pleasing The Lord is what we should be doing, it truly makes sense.
Offer to help clean your church or give them donations.
If you please God, he'll be happy, that's no exaggeration.

Saint Agnes is what my mother should be called.
When she died, I was both saddened and appalled.
I admire women homemakers more than women who work because Mom was a homemaker.
I was devastated on March the 6th of 2013 because my poor mother needed an undertaker.

Mom wasn't actually a saint but she was as close as a person could get.
You would've been very happy and fortunate if you and Mom had met.
She was a wonderful mother and that's something I'm proud to confess.
She was one in a million and she should be called Saint Agnes.

I owe money to a man named Robert G. Durant.
I want to pay him the money I owe but I can't.
He cuts off the fingers of people who don't pay him money.
You may find it amusing but I sure as hell don't think it's funny.
He cut off all of my fingers, he didn't even spare one.
I couldn't even pick my nose after he was done.
I want to give Durant the bird but I don't have the finger to do it with.
I'd chop his ***** off with a lightsaber if I had fingers and if I was a Sith.
You'd better take my advice because it sure isn't a lie.
Pay Robert Durant or you can kiss your fingers goodbye.

A taxi driver charged me fifty bucks for a short trip.
And then the S.O.B. had the nerve to ask for a tip.
When I said no, he started giving me lip.
I pulled him out of his taxi and broke his hip.
With his expensive fares, he robs people blind.
When he asked for a tip, he was out of his mind.
I punched that sorry punk over and over again.
He tried to fight back by kicking me in the shin.
But I didn't even feel it and I certainly didn't care.
When I was done, he had to but a wheelchair.
When he overcharged me and asked for a tip, it was a stupid thing to do.
If you're a taxi driver who does the same, I'll find you and kick your *** too.

Her name is Chun Li and she first appeared in Street Fighter II.
Don't make this woman angry or she'll beat the hell out of you.
Many people make a comment that embarrasses her and her face turns red.
They tell her that she's supposed to wear her bra on her chest instead of her head.
Chun Li studied Martial Arts for several years and she sure does know how to fight.
And if you have any drugs, she'll steal them because she likes to get higher than a kite.

Jesus left Heaven to be one of us and God allowed his only son to go.
Jesus died so that people will not be sent to the Lake of Fire below.
Jesus performed miracles.
He was truly remarkable.
When Jesus was on Earth, I know that God missed him.
Jesus was tempted by Satan but he was able to resist him.
When people steal, ****, do drugs and other bad things, they will pay.
They will try but fail to hide on Judgement Day.

Too many people don't believe in The Almighty God  anymore.
They don't believe in him, God is somebody who they ignore.
So many of today's people are non-religious, they believe that God isn't real.
But I know that he exists and if I were standing in front of him, I would kneel.

Many people are not living by God's rules, they want to have things their way.
People had better acknowledge The Lord and live by his rules or they will pay.
If you turn to God now, your life will be better than it ever has been before.
But many people must accept that he is real, God must stop being ignored.