His jazz hymn of praise
And saxophone serenades
The bless'd trinity

Bazooka that veruka
Wage war on your warts
Charge the canons against corns 
And ills of other sorts

Conscript regiments of Rennies
Antacid to supress indigestion 
Establish naval fleets  
Of fisherman friends sweets 
To banish nasal congestion

smear your chest with Vick
To ensure victory is quick
And if headaches ensue
Aspirin will win and subdue

If your enemy is constipation
Let  senna be your friend 
And if your throat is sore
Let strepsils make swift amends 

Show viruses they're not  welcome
Fight back with all your might
Give germs no easy terms
And soon you'll feel alright!

Wont you just stop hounding me
I don´t want you here no more
I´ve truly had enough
of you howling at my door.



If I let you in
I´m ripe for attack
I won´t breathe
for your weight on my back



You squash any joy
with your huge black paws
Stamp out my light
I´m in the grip of your jaws.



You´re baying for my blood
You feed on my esteem
growl in my sleep
drool gloom into my dreams



You rip out my peace
and drag it away
you bury it deep
inject doubt when i pray



I need an antidote
for your poisonous bite
Won´t you help me Lord?
Friends please help me fight?
As i cant rest at all tonight



I need to unlock my mind
from your vicious puzzle
but until then black dog,
I´m gonna buy you a big mean muzzle!

I've been running on empty
Skipping on dregs
Cycling on morsels
Jumping on egg
shells


It's time to recoup
regroup  
renew, restore,
build more
reserves
Surrender to slumber
And swerve
Away from activity
Simply
pause,


And deeply breathe.

My home is in a vintage tin
Belonged to your great grandma
With many other varied breeds
Our cousins sorted into jars

I'm often fastened up tight
In British stiff collared fashion
Occasionally burst off
When shirts are ripped open
In the haste of frisky passion

In my other guise
When I am tapped
I connect you worldwide
My neighbour form words and stories
Whilst I encrypt some code for spies.

Machinery, you really need me
To start and then to stop
To raise alarm bells
And when pressed call the cops

I'm a round reminder
Of how life began
Innie or outie and proud
Of how mum's body nurtured your
In utero life-span

Dangerous in the wrong hands
I must be closely guarded
For if you press me
World war three
Could easily be started

Morning rain on tent
Plus wood pigeon alarm call
Make me need a wee!

This is the cardiac line.
Your first stop is the
left atrium.
Passengers alight here for warmth and passion.
Please have your tickets ready worn on your sleeve.
We apologise for any delays. This was due to mixed signals.
You are in coach one of four.
Mind the gap between the heart and common sense.

She drew an s  shape on my foot with a stick
I lay there, paralysed with fear,
thinking was this the subtle beginning
of a programme of torture.
Her white coat and stethoscope
glinting in the strip lighting.

She asked me if I knew where i was.
I lay there, frozen with fear,
not able to open my mouth.
I could read letters on her name badge
I read it as Dr Helliday
So that's where i was
I thought, that confirms it
along with her snake charming smile.

She tried to get me to drink
But I lay there stiff with fear,
not wanting to open my mouth
in case it was poison.
She placed a wet sponge on my lips
my eyes widening in terror.

Can you see how many fingers I'm holding up?
She said gently
I lay there tensed up with fear.
I thought it must be a trap
I couldn't open my mouth
and fall in.

I was seeing things around me
that pinned me to the bed with fear.
Patients pouring blood out of windows.
shadows of nurses in nooses.
I screamed inwardly.
But could not open my mouth
for fear had clamped it shut

Just one more follower
to make it a century
excited to be read an heard
who'd a thunk it
ninety nine people
would read my nonsense
not me!

I'm not on twitter
so new to being followed
should i look behind me
or leap into the poetic unknown?
I think i'll keep taking the plunge
embracing the poetry collective
Will you join my family
and be my centurion? ;)

Looks I was given, words received
Sunk in deep
I felt as much use as a chocolate teapot
As resilient as a glass hammer
Looking much like a dogs dinner
As fragrant as a refuse truck.
Insightful as a blind guide dog
Buoyant as a lead balloon
I sank deep

My bounce lost,
like a concrete trampoline
Lost my grip
like a fumbling toothless vampire bat
Feeling as welcome
as a fur coat worn
In a vegan cafe.

Now resurfacing
I know that there's no use
in contriving to feel bad.
I'm going to either
line my chocolate teapot
to make it work
or savour every bite of it!

It fascinates to ponder on
what lights a person's spark
What invokes an individual
To create a work of art
Would a sunrise inspire
poetic masterpiece
Or a mere brain ****?

Would the changing seasons
Bring writers blocks and wrongs
Or the falling leaf in the equinox
Make you wanna write songs?

To some a leaping cute spring lamb
Might give poetic joy in its wake
For others they forsee its beauty
On a top notch dining plate!

Light my fuse
strike a chord
with verses mightier
than the sword

Charge my synapses
til my light turns on
Spark my senses
when the night feels long

Bend me contort me
fuel animation
direct and guide me
for mutual stimulation

Send me a thrill
write me a tale
Whip me up into a frenzy
you can use Royal mail

write my menu
Whet my appetite
with foods that arouse
and please in plain sight!

kindle these embers
make me shake my jelly
but most of all
fuel the fire in this belly!

I think I'll go for 
A disco nap
A nap inside a disco?!
you wonder.
No it's just a little 
afternoon snooze 
to avert the rising 
tide of blues
And put my dizzy 
thoughts asunder.

A little period of rest
will I hope
bring out my best 
allow my mind to 
float and dream
of fairytales 
And seas that gleam

And when I wake
at a time that suits
I'll be refreshed 
Ready to disco
In ***** boots!

She
longed
to be
cherished .

But alas
their
love
perished.

Some of her wiring had come loose
She had burnt out like toast
left on too high a setting

Now her brain needed a reboot
It had come to this
be plugged into a mainframe

she did not feel a thing
just a small sharp scratch
and the pleasant scent of the oxygen mask

wakes up a little blurry
mouth a little furry
but new connections made

a few weeks on
she can spark up a smile again
an electro convulsive treat

My moral compass has gone askew
In truth I flung it away
Like caution to the wind

Here I'm ready for adventures
Take me on a sensory journey
Guide me on a trail of wonder

Lift me up to flights of fancy
Roll with me in meadows
Skinny dip in azure seas

Lets cross unchartered waters
Taste new exotic foods
Sip from my overflowing cup

And we'll set up camp
and explore the undulating
peaks and valleys
of our own landscapes ;-)

(Never underestimate the power
Of the gift of giving a flower)

You can't fail her 
with a bright dahlia
With it's perfect symmetry
Caress her nose
With the scent of a rose
And a cup of Earl grey tea

Make a daisy chain
For her flowing mane
And rub her tired  toes
Treat your filly
To a glorious lily
And a day of sweet repose

Surprise her at the station
With a bunch of carnations 
And hold her hand for a while 
Make things swell
In a field of bluebells
That'll surely bring a smile 

Get down on one knee
With some lovely peonies
And look deeply into her eyes
The sight of an iris
Could fill her with such bliss
If you take her by surprise 

You could please her 
With some pink freesias  
And a well planted kiss
If the romance slips
Choose some bright tulips
The thought won't go amiss!

You know you've had a good day when
You're still wearing a whistle and tail
At 8.10 pm.
You've brought grins to the faces
Of mums, little children and seated old men.

You know you've had a good day still
When it isn't the everyday run of the mill
But a street pounding, tub thumping
Banner waving parade on a hill
With the sun streaming down on our painted faces
Far better than any happy pill.

Complacency dissolves today
for His selflessness
tore down the curtain divide

Ello there! I would like to create an anthology/collection of nonsense poetry/poems with daft tone, subject matter. If you have any could you message me and let me know, or send message via carrier pigeon? I'd like to be able to make people grin, guffaw,chuckle or even titter!

Yours twooly,
P.pie

Thought i should say hello, greetings and salivations to ya! Not sure how to add messages to the board other than this way! Hope you're having a magnificent monday and matters move you to moving your pen or pencil or keys to pen a masterpiece hehe x or a poem of any kind.

Thanks for all your support and friendship :) *** Its a great encouragement x

PS anyone know how to write messages directly into this collection?

Waxing and waning
Faxing and feigning
        Flexing and texting
Tweeting is fleeting
        Facebooking onlooking
Hello Poetry Goodbye monotony!

Under flu attack
Nasal congestion combats
My tissue's defence

I thought I saw you
In the shadows in the park
I looked for your initials
In the grooved tree bark

I thought I heard you speaking
Through the lyrics
In that song
That played on repeat
In my head all night long

I thought I felt your touch
When I wore that blue dress
The feel of the fabric
You stroked and caressed.

I'm sure I saw you
Heard you, felt you
Like last may in the spring
But I could have been mistaken
It could have been nothing

Journey of a leaf

I'm leaving home today.
I can feel it in my veins
The wind is picking up
Mother nature is 
Preparing to take me
On an adventure

Here it comes
The wind is lifting me
I'm taking off now
I'm nodding to my brothers
And sisters 
They are waving me goodbye
My mum is letting go of her hold 

This is it. my body is lifting 
Wheeeeeeeeee!
I'm off and single cell
In me feels alive
And a rush is coursing through me

I am dancing through the air
The breeze is fresh against 
My green skin
And the sun is shining 
Through me
I am glowing!

The pace is slowing now
I am beginning my descent 
Bobbing downwards 
Finally able to take in new views
A patchwork of fields
and a large expanse of water
Perhaps it's a lake

I can feel a drag now
I'm coming in to land
Here I go, gently does it
I'm landing on the water 
Skimming slightly
It is cool underneath
I see new creatures around me
New friends! 'Hello!'

Juliette's back
is a shapely cello.
Her hair trailing softly
plays a deep, sad,
mahogany melody.
'La musique malheureuse'
her soul whispers.

But in the morning
she will stretch out,
throw the curtains wide
and light will shine through her.
When she speaks
her harp-like heart
will play a pretty tune.

To you I may just be a grain of sand, caught between your toes
But you will not have my experience, so you cannot know
How it feels to float on a shark fin or rest on a mermaid's breast
Or do a jig with a conga eel, now  that really was the best
So before you cast me aside to clean your human foot
Take a super duper microscope and take a closer look
At me and my sparkly sandy compatriots as we glisten in the light
A dazzling array of shell fragments and glass nuggets so bright!

There once was a lass from Brighton
Whose jeans had begun to tighten
She gorged upon cake
On chips and on steak
Now her kids were afraid she might bite em!

I'm creating a Lego alter-ego
Called Scarlet.
Her skin is flawless
Her face a fixed fierce determined smile
Her drawn on ******* will never sag
And she never has a hair out of place.

She has a pet monkey by her side
Poached from my brothers 1989 pirate set
After she duelled with Pegleg Pete
And made him walk the plastic plank.

She has lego lovers in high places
Batman has given her the code to his 6860 set batcave
And the white Knight from castle set 70404
Has lent her his trusty steed
And he drank from her cup.

She is fearless and has an interchangeable
Wipe clean wardrobe
She can be whatever she wants
She is **** yet robust
When placed on a high shelf
She may gather dust
But she is always ready
For fun and adventure
And she will never age or rust.

Blue **** figuerines
Wonderfully poised and serene
Simple yet perfect

Bold simplicity
Bright and soft flowing tendrils
Aquatic glory

I desire a metamorphosis
I know,  I feel,
Life can be better than this
I'd like to rise
A majestic thing
With grace and his glory
Shining in my wings.

Take flight
With colours rare and true,
Pretty like the chalkhill blue
Or glowing like the
Monarch's orange hue.

But instead I am trapped
In the cocoon stage
Wrapped up,curled
Stuck in sinful nature's cage
Wings not yet unfurled

Imprisoned by fragility
Brought on by bipolarity
Kept in emotional intensity
For what feels like eternity

But one day soon
I will feel free
From the cocoon's shackles
That bind me
I will feast on the nectar
Of His good word
And soar and flutter by
Free as a bird

Free in the sure certainty
The promises he's made
Sure of my saviour's love for me
My debts that he has paid

But yet I still feel like the caterpillar
Fumbling around
Still finding my way
I'm grateful for creation
Still orange striped and hairy
Yet not at all scary
Awaiting transformation! :)

Preparing the ground
in this fertile mind
putting down roots
with the fervour I’ve found

Digging down deep
planting thought bulbs
hope will rise up
Their green shoots will
abound

Picking petals one by one
Counting every blessing seen
Rainbows on the wooden fence
Still life painted in a dream

Hedges run a distant mile
Shaped as every promise shown
Cutting corners of the lost
Happiness in what is grown

I’m cutting back the choking weeds
of doubt and negativity
And moving on the slugs and snails
that stunt my productivity

With mind over matter
this garden will bloom
this change is organic
and normal service
will not resume
(who wants to be normal
anyway?)

I’ve been sowing seeds
with faith love and prayer
In ground once barren
songs will blossom there

Melodies fragrant and free
Tiny sprouts of grand design
Break the soil seeking light
Flourishing for it is time

*Sing with me my garden friend
Walk along my winding path
Smell the beauty on the wind
Life shall be the aftermath

Mmmmmmmascapone
with sun drenched
honeyed figs
soaked in sweet wine
I revel in your taste
close my eyes
your flavours divine

You are worth every
savoured minute
as you pass
through my lips
that go straight to form
extra millimetres
of flesh on my hips.

And so it begins, this tale of woe,
As a howling wind began to blow.
She brushed her hair one last time,
And set about her perfect crime.

Anticipating the sound of key in lock.
She glanced herself whilst taking stock.
She could not help but stop and admire,
Her provocative sensual ****** attire.

Black matching lace expensive Lingerie,
Purchased especially from town that day.
She carefully rolled her stockings on.
Any sense of guilt had all but gone.

Placing her feet in her killer red heels.
Reminiscing how he liked how they feel.
Consoling herself as the widow Ms Carter,
As she hid the capsule in her French garter

In the kitchen now the lights are dim,
And the candles flicker, flicker for him.
She hears the sound of his key in the door,
As she prepares the meal, a meal to die for.

Spinning the top dial
Searching for bright painted riffs
Rock n rollered room

You are my apple king
i love you to your core
I love your rounded apple cheeks
And your tender age of four
Your dark shining eyes
Like little apple pips
The cheeky grin that you let slip
from your sweet rosey lips

You like the female breeds
Pink ladies, granny smiths
The sweetness of a braebern
Is what you're content with

Straight from the tree
Or from the shelf
Or from a bowl or box
Three a day
You munch and crunch
My little British ***!

please hear the poem here! (follow the link) :-) x
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ibKjJb9IYoU

I lay spread out on 
My local shingle beach
Letting the pebbles 
Sift through my fingers
I consider the myriad
Shapes and forms they take.
The varying rust
Charcoal grey and mustard shades

I set myself a mission
In the multitudes
That the sea brings to my feet
I will find amongst the 
Copious cobbles
The ultimate pebble
Perfect and pleasingly
Quirky or smooth.

I become so absorbed by 
This sifting sorting 
Comforting process 
A simple quest
I forget myself
And my proximity to the waves 
Until i am splashed 
And soaked and 
Have to vow to take up
This valiant quest 
Another day.

Until then I have taken 
Home a few shortlisted
Candidates
And made a promise to stand up when
The winner is found
And make a little trumpet
Fanfare sound
And hold the stone aloft!

I am going to read some stuff at the first open mic poetry evening I've been to! Would anyone mind browsing my poems and suggesting ones I could read? Thanks heaps! Xxxxx

Just wanted to thank you all, for  friendship, feedback, and all your inspiring poems that get me through each day. Life can be so busy and had plenty of stressful parenting moments in the past week, and finding a little time each day to read your works and correspond gives me such solace! I've got a little writers block at the mo as I'm a bit stressed but hope it passes!
:-)
Love and a thousand blessings
Petal x

He occupied her mind
Like a sit in protest
His eyes flashed like torches
His smile like a banner
The memory of his touch
Like raucous shouts
Igniting her zeal

She tried to subdue it
With busyness
Hoping to police
Her thoughts with new
Self control
But thoughts of him
Overcame it
Even riot shields
Couldn't contain it
Eventually tear gas
Would ***** her eyes

All the while his thoughts of her
Visited his mind
Intermittently
Like a passing tourist
Enjoying the convenience
Of a hotel room
With a free minibar

Untarnished snowflake
resting gently upon my knee
Symmetrical, unique
Floated gently there, as if
Aware of its transience.

Cut to the quick
With bluntness

Put down several hundred pegs
Where I languished
Shredded, unravelling

Until the fabric
Of my being
Was reshaped
Resewn

The pink Panther tune
Was played in a major key
Upon my thigh
Composed of my son's raspberries.

Accompanied by tinkling laughter
Practiced with gusto
I don't think we'll make the x-factor
But maybe we'll do our own show!

On a royal visit by chance
Queen Liz spots a crew who breakdance
She throws down her bag
And cries 'sod one's jet lag'
'Dagnammit, I'm gonna get up n prance!'

I trace my fingertips
along your neon facets.
I twist and turn you
to make a match
or make a mish mash
of coloured squares.

You bring me back in time
to 1980's plastics.
I cannot solve your puzzle
for i lack your cuboid logic.
But just to rotate and
feel your shape in my hand
is sublime and fantastic!