beautiful mix of words
from the songs that call
to my soul
out on the landing
that friend i forgot to send home
taught me how
i could save a life
but it was too late to apologize
cold and ashamed,
i lay naked on the floor
i was calling you at 3 a.m.
i just wanted to hear your voice
to tell you that
when i'm gone you should carry on
when i cried you wiped away all of my tears
i'll never be able to thank you enough
and i will never surrender

I watched the sun
It set fire to the sky
But it cannot compare
It is nothing like you and I

The black v's move in the distance
It is like the painting I once made
Nothing but dots
In the fiery sky

The mountains unmoving
Sit so still, never changing
When the land is shadowed
Hush greets the arising moon

a carp said to a guppy
why are you so grumpy
and the guppy replied
sometimes feelings are hard
Blake was right.
hell in heaven's despair,
and heaven in hell's despite alright.

ah, said the carp.
whether it is they who should be considerate,
or you?
which do you think is better of the two?
let it go and you'll feel more at ease.
one can never do as they please.

with that parting sentence,
down went the guppy,
in darkness, surprise and fear
without a scream no one would hear
into the carp.

Finally, thought the carp,
The Guppy shut up.

The fork in the road
Two halves of a whole
Which side will you take?
What choice will you make?

Will you smile away and say
Your choice was right
Or will you fade away?
Hoping that time will turn back one day?

Every Saturday it is the same
Every Saturday I sit
I stare at the ticking hands and wait
No need to tell me I've been tamed

As the seconds pass
I watch my reflection in the glass
It is a wonder, I think
That I still look the same as the second before that passed

Yet inside I know a little more has died
Each tick brings me one step closer
To where you have gone
To a place of peace and sound.

And one day, many years from now
Someone will sit and wait,
Looking at the face that is at once theirs and not
And remember the hour of my passing,
Just as I sit and wait and remember yours.

Can you play a happy tune?
Can't you write a cheerful song?
Sad to say the things I write
Really do not come close.

Melancholy visits me sometimes
Loneliness engulfs my mind at night
Sorrow fills my lungs
Sometimes I struggle with life

The moonlight sits by me
Shedding me some light
And in the darkness it guides me
I hold it with all my might

Till the next day comes
The sun once again shines
Cutting across the dark
Bringing me back with silent delight

Tomorrow is another day
But yesterday is still today
What's gone is lost and will never come back
The lessons learnt always make me squirm with hurt
But I'll get stronger each time
So turn around and walk away

When your lips touch mine
When our bodies intertwine
I can't think straight
You're like a hook and bait

Arms and legs and hair
Minds in a mess
Limbs entangled
But we just don't care

When we get this way
I can't turn away
So I can't be this way
Don't make me sway

We both know the ending
We discussed, saw it coming
There's no use running
The tears are plenty blinding

My greatest not-so-great regret
Washing your scent off me
Makes my heart ache daily.

I see you when you're not around
You're everywhere to me
Just like that once-popular song.

You may doubt that I really care
Oh but I do, so much that it scares me
Every night I lay awake.

My greatest not-so-great regret,
I shall share with you my latest great regret;
I don't have you all to myself...no...not yet.

the scent of grass
rush of blood
adrenaline running
trembling nerves
the stench of fear stings

the missile soars
poised to ****
life to one
death to the other
tense binary

I need to thread carefully,
Hush, I won't make a sound,
I don't want to run you to the ground,
And if I have to fall, fall slowly,
Don't let me down to harshly or too hard,
That's all I can really ask.

I'll take you eyes wide open,
Lips blood red bitten,
I'll run blindly through,
If it meant I'd find you,
On the other side of that door,
Don't run for the hills,
Even if I tell you to.

I would like to hope with you,
Be close and lean on you,
Maybe count on you too,
When I'm feeling down,
I hope you'll never push me around,
Dance with me, twirl me round,
We'll go up, round and round,
I promise - I'll never make a sound.

I'm sorry if I hurt you
Those words weren't meant to
But we share everything
Big or the tiniest of things
So those feelings I had
Were put into those words
I hope they weren't too bad
I only know forward
And now I can't take them back
As long as you know how I feel
You'll still have me on your reel

I was yours and you were mine
Both our hearts would beat in time
I'm no longer yours
And you're no longer mine
Take heart dear
We'll both be fine
With the sands of time
Wash away the salt and brine
Over time we'all both be fine
We'll smile again
Just as friends
Our hearts on the mend.

there is a space i like to visit
in between sleep and wake
like walking in transit
the destination unknown and unsure
that little space, that tiny sliver
makes my spine tingle and shiver
the opposite of adrenaline rushes
the feeling spreads like a gentle brush
you never quite know when you enter
you only know that you entered
time has no say
no one can hold sway
not when you're in the place
this little bit of transit space
no one will understand
until it is there that they stand
a place that you have been
never a place that will be seen.

What hides in the grey sky this morning?
Concealed behind looming clouds
A strong wind comes
Shaking everything in its wake

It does not hear pleas
It refuses to see reason
Like the fear that comes
With somethings unknown

Trees sway, branches flailing,
Fallen leaves fly with the wind
Across the sky they fall far from the tree
Bit by bit, they lose their memory

No hint of life on the roads
Not even a wisp of a soul
None dare thread
Where the fierce wind blows

You won't run,
But you can't promise to stay,
We won't know if this feeling will fade away,
We spoke and we lay,
In the darkness of the day,
Arms and legs tangled,
As time passes away.

Would you feel it if I shattered -
Hold me in pieces like I mattered?
If I told you I needed more than the moon
Would it hurt to pay attention?

Singing me sweet nothings
I can hear you, feel your breath on my skin.
If your words were worth its weight,
I swear; I wouldn't need the moon again.

But if, sweet, terrible, tantalisingly soft-
If,
This if,
Makes all the difference.

It’s a riddle to some
It is to me I admit
It sneaks up to me as I lay down
My head on my pillow
My brows furrow
Thoughts burrowing deep.

This is the fear,
The unseen,
The uncertainty, for all I know, may win,
Clawing it’s way up my spine.
I shut my eyes then snap them open
To remind myself I’m still alive.

I can’t wait
But I also can’t stop
The feeling of dread
That bundles and grows
As the minutes drop
One by one like lead.

When does it begin?
Or better yet, end?
When will it come?
When will it go?
It’s one of life’s riddles -
I just don’t know.

So I lie in bed and wait...
The ticking of the clock my only mate.

Sometimes you don't have to speak
I can understand without a squeak
When we lay side by side
Your breath in time with mine
When we go out together
And see something queer
We only have to swap looks with each other
So don't say you're okay
When I know you're angry
Don't be afraid to make me cry
I'm more afraid of times
When our hearts don’t align

I thought that you would be the one
You put images I wanted down
You had the power to make me smile
You had the skill to make me frown
I loved the flowers you gave
Even if they were brown

Too bad our legs untangled
Our hands no longer hold
The future I once thought I saw
Are but memories that now thaw
Like ice under the sun
Dripping in puddles of flaws

This is what a Lover means
What “could have been”
What would never be
No longer what is and what will be
I move forward with you
Lingering faintly —
In the recesses of my memory

This is what a Lover means
Awkward, silent, cruel
Having gruel
With a fork and knife
Grey and slippery, sloshing in a bowl
A trial to all

You could have been my present and my future
My boyfriend, husband, lover
But now you are no longer
I will not wait for you hence
Not now, not ever.


This is what a Lover is,
You are but a Lover,
Not made to be my forever.

When you go walking down the street,
Who is it you wish to meet?
The best friend who once saved your life?
The ex lover that left you standing on the side?
Or maybe the family you wish you never had.

The world has changed and along with it the people.
Everyone from the north to south pole
Too busy to even think about themselves,
Let alone the poorer people
Everyone struggling through life to meet death

Wondering what it was all for when they meet the end
What was it all for in the end?

But you and I know we will never see the end
It hits us before we can defend
Questioning yourself will make your head cramp
Life has a way of flashing past, so fast
Too short for anything last.

You can't see it clearly
Everything is so blurry
Images flash by in a flurry
So who would you wanna meet?
When you go walking down the street?

A graze, a scratch, a cut,
These little things that hurt me much
The blaze in your eyes
Your aggressive voice
Hurt me ten times more

*Do you know what it does to me
Can you feel the way I cringe
When you speak I flinch
When you shout I fall
Turn your back and I crumble
I have never felt this miserable

The false gestures
The fake smiles
I can see them coming from a thousand miles
What you did - I never saw that coming
I can't say it wasn't disappointing
But it's not like you can hit reverse

You think you're right
Maybe you just wanted a fight
But you couldn't even listen
And my tears stay glistening
Rolling down my cheeks

Have you ever thought about
What you do to me
Where do you leave me
How can you get me
Who said the world was round
He was probably as high as the sun

So I didn’t turn out in your image
I can’t sing I can’t dance
I can barely put a tune together
On the ***** stashed away
I have tried and failed
Again and again
Like a broken tape recorder
Echoing in a desolate house
I have become
A tattoo you can’t scratch out

are you having the time of your life?
i hope you are, somehow.
did i make the wrong move?
can't seem to stop running in circles in my head.

i can look back into the past,
but the future is foggy
no one knows.
took the chance, i did.

i leaped...

...into a great pothole of ****.
you'd have to **** me before i admit
i landed myself in this *****.

This blank page haunts me
Daring me to fill up the lines
Defining words
To try describing the universe
Transcribing between the lines
A little tool too often used
Softer than a whisper
Sharper than a sword

Blasted manifestos
Speeches lapped up by leeches
Letters of love
Declarations of hate
Signatures for war
Who am I to dictate?
From the scrawls on my little page

But present still is “what if”—
When script fails
What is left?
Nothing but smudges
Faint remnants of faded pasts
Moving to fill blank spaces
Nibs dancing across white pages

We share words
You and I
Jokingly, mischievously and viciously.

We talk
You and I
Our conversation a dance.

This is what we have
You and I
We can never have more.

And that,
Is all.

I still have your picture
It sits in my wallet
I don't quite know what for
When you've been moving on

I still kept our picture
We were all smiles then
Once in a while I'll take a peek
As if it were playing hide-and-seek

I look out for your pictures
It's pathetic and I know
You're trying to move on
Still some part of me hopes you won't forget
I am still here; I want to be your friend

You, with your wondering eyes and fair skin,
I wish I could spend an afternoon with you,
Again--just like we used to,
But you've gone with your new girl,
And--as much as I want to,
I just can't take that away from you.

I hope one day you'll recall
The words you wrote well
To me, in me, they will always have a place
I won't forget you, you knew me well--too well
Even if I have been washed away in the swell
Of your new memories.

We were happy once
You and I
Joined at the hip
Time passed us by
Stuck like glue
You and I
Friends shook their heads
Walked on by

How did we end up like this
You and I
We were supposed to be strong
You said you would try
And I could not deny
You and I
For we met eye to eye
Times passed us by
You and I
What happened to us
I wonder why
How did we end
You and I
How could we end
But I can no longer deny

We have ended now
You and I
The past now a memory
That may be left behind
By you and I

I've known you for many days
I've watched your many ways
If I could I would
Kiss the side of your face
Every single day
I've missed you a million ways
I've hugged you till we parted ways
Still it's not enough
To smell your scent I'd bury my face
Into the crook of your arm
Into the side of your face
I'd crawl and curl up beside you to sleep
So I'd wake to see a new day
So I'd wake to see your face
So you'd make my day
So I can love you a thousand ways
Over and over again

You said that you love me,
You said you weren't bored,
You promised you would treasure me,
And never let me part.

But even though you said you'd never lie,
You must have at some point.
Because all those things I've said above
Have now become untrue.