What the **** am i doing here?
Please someone help me
Im defining all odds against thee
Yet my proportions seem empty.

Im traveling the hard path
And it aint by my choice
At least im free of catastrophe
Speaking on terms of depleting

**** man! My mind is going crazy
Im draining by the minute
And im just ******* losing it
Please God, just shoot me.

The silence is deep and it creeps on my lips
The crisp cold of your breath rips me to shreds
I dance with your pain and play with your ideas
We imagine a future, one thats hard to see in a mirror
As we close our eyes and pray for the torture to subside
I cant help but to remember why this all worth while

You leave me breathless

Slowly, I can sense the caliginous feeling heavy over my eyes.
I tell myself to stray from hortatory hellions, yet still I am charmed by the falsely intriguing happiness...  
Darkness is addictive
Just like a drug, it's hard to come back once you're hooked in.

He is always there right behind
Slowly stepping slowly creeping.
He smiles in the dark
Into my soul he's rapidly seeping.

The darkness I see in him
Is already in me.
This anger needs to drown
Deep in a ****** sea.

I am nothing but another face
You claim to love me?
Yet stare with nothing but disgrace
Love? Is nothing unique.

You slaughter me with words
**** me with jealousy
What am I doing so wrong?
Without committing a felony..

You live for my despair
Yet cry to others about the fights
What the **** am I doing here?
Just to cuddle at night?

Okay I get it now,
I'm running defeat.
These circles I follow,
Won't let me breathe.

What do you expect?
It's a puzzle to me.
You dont define ****,
You're controlling this heat.

My mind is spinning
I don't think I'm winning
I'm trapped in a disaster

The light is disappearing
Destruction is mirroring
I'm just losing you faster

What's worse,
Expecting me just to cheat
Or
Seeing you don't believe in me?

I've made a few mistakes but I'm only human..
Why stay when you only expect the worse?
Does this make you happy??
If not then just leave
Because your hurting more than just me.
Expecting the worse won't ever get us to where we need..
So why sit here and play make believe?

How do you describe love?
Besides what the standard idea is.
With nothing more to say than "she makes my heart race".

Is that love? Or just caught in lust.
Because this feeling in my heart,
Isn't the standard three month start.

I ain't caught up in some little kid crush.
She ain't even close to what is considered lust.

When I kiss her lips, it's like kissing someone gently on the finger tips,  and more than just a heart jumping shift.
When she lays down in my arms, more than my body gets completely warm, it's my soul telling me to lower all of my alarms.

Its the comforting love in complete darkness.
Its the word forever with no need for promises.
Its walking around blind but there's no risk.
Its taking that leap of faith knowing your heart can't miss.

Its feeling like you never left home
Its being in a faceless crowd but knowing you aren't alone
Its being surrounded and embraced by love just from a voice on the phone

Its agruing with her but knowing she loves you
Its blood in your veins that won't turn icy blue
Its the 4 a.m. sleepless nights where she just takes you in like she always knew..
Knew you needed that hug before you even said ****.
Walking around lonely then she appears with a lovely kiss.
Standing in front of her eyes and knowing you've been missed
Simply knowing your anger is calmed when she touches your wrist.

What is love, man?????
Love.... You truly can't even understand.
Find someone who makes it's hard to explain or even withstand,
When you have the thought of loving someone til they turn grey and old
The feeling of knowing you will mother her children, having a family of four
How listening to her voice does more than just feed your soul.
Tell me all the things she does that make you go crazy.
How you can watch her sleep and it be simply amazing.
How seeing her smile is a sight worth gaining.
Look at my lips and watch me love her more,
Way passed a simple thought of a four letter word,
Love may only be four letters but it's never sounded better
Than when you can't clearly describe it
Just what it is that she can do
From how she makes you wake up everyday
To what you'll see when you fall for her too.

What kind of human destroys what they love?
Do you find pleasure in the broken spaces?
The room filled with a thousand knifes all aimed at you.
Do you think or even consider what your hands of destruction do to something so fragile?

No.. You are nothing human. You are a beast. A creature that walks the night, lonely at heart and lost in mind.
You sir, deserve nothing but what you have dug.
Now, the empty hole awaits.

You picked up a salt shaker
mistaken for a pop
You went to take a drink
And the word stupid came up

You caught yourself in a stutter
Unable to speak
People began to laugh at you
And the stupidness started to creep

Your memory wasn't the sharpest
And you received ****
As people made fun of you
The word stupid slowly began to slipped

Now you sit here in a dark corner
Beating yourself senseless
Continuously convincing yourself
You'll alway be stupid

The 25th of April was just gone
I had no time to prepare
My beautiful kids done wrong
I had to just watch and stare

The mother decided it was best
So they took the bus
The night before was a sleepless rest
Then everything rushed

Now I stay in this dark room
Holding their toys
His favorite was his vroom vroom
Because it made the most noise

The livingroom hasn't been touched
I keep the door closed
This feeling is more than enough
Cause my heart has froze

They were more than just two kids
They gave me light
My niece and nephew outdid
Everything in sight

Rose could barely make words
Cyler was a chatter
Together they were beautiful birds
And the world didn't matter

I taught them beautiful things
Like beatboxing a sound
I wanna handle what life brings
Even if they aren't around

I don't know how to stop my cry
Because I miss my loves
I wish I could've got a better goodbye
*Maybe one last hug...

I'm going to sit here,
Lost in words.
Maybe I should stay silent,
Stay trapped like a bird.

I don't know what to do,
I feel numb.
I don't understand why,
But this isn't fun.

I wish I could escape,
Maybe disappear.
Travel to another realm,
One without fear.