I'll eat you out
while you're bleedin'
I'll
eat you out til you come
I'll drink the ***
in your blood
Feeding, drowning,
I'll
show you around the
other side of sanity

Be a wolf
transform
under full moon
I'm a wolf
alone
under her moon
do you
come to meet me
at the edge of light
every night
for fun
or do you want
these --
do you need
these dark eyes
unblinking in the shadows?

We can remember it for you wholesale
once we clear the stage of initial erase
Sure I might lisp on a drunk night,
exasperated and claiming in collapse,
I'd rather pack rat the memories in one place
and consign my pain away to tall tales.
I'm drowned, running down wi-fi 6th street.
Printing my soles to follow my heels
as inescapably I lose track of me.

Terror turns its wheel in your stomach with fried rice,
while again the streaming stops as your computer checks
are you just sleeping or dead?
I've had it up to here
with high speed
I get sick, the faster
that I eat --
I have an ego
and toilet to feed with refuse
So fearful, we, of death
push for prevention, instead,
accelerate.
accelerate
accelerate
x, x, x, x, x

You wanna know what it's like
to be a rebel?
You wanna know what it's like
outside the salt circle
looking in?
I tell you what, I'm not dancing
as much as flailing.
Fitting enough, I am crashing
again the closer
that I get.
You wanna know what it's like
to be the other?
You wanna know what it's like
to live as if you were
not dead but
wholly aware
in stasis?
Holy stasis,
what is it like
to be alive
unmoving
and empty,
dry of passion?
I better tell
this bitter truth,
that being you
isn't worth
half the strength
you generate.

I tell you what, I'm not dancing
as much as flailing.
Fitting enough, I am crashing
again the closer
that I get.
You wanna know what it's like
to be the other?
You wanna know what it's like
to live as if you were
not dead but
wholly aware?
I would trade wealth
and mental health
for just a touch
of the sand
containing
what has gone lost.

Just a touch,
I want your hand.

What's it like to be the metronome?
I tell you what,
I dance a lot.

Come in, take off your clothes,
you're soaking wet.
I'll get you dry for free,
you'll be reset.
For now, lie on the couch,
I'll be close by,
ear pressed against the door
with you in the other room
naked in my mind.

I'll get you dry for free,
you'll be reset.
Cleanse the wounds
****** and guns
hide in your skin.
I am the one who can
kindle your feet
so softly
you'll never know
you are burning
til you turn to ash.
I'll get you dry,
you'll be reset.

It's funny because it's not on me
It's funny you get so ruffled
It's funny 'cause I'm in no trouble
Thanks to public conditioning
globally expressed,
I just wait, because you'll settle for ****
And if I don't change and don't get my way
It's okay -- it's all your fault.
It's okay -- you're the one in debt
And I'm not called to explain my attempts in vain
It's all your fault
It's funny because it's not on me
It's funny how you get so ruffled
It's funny 'cause I'm in no trouble
Except for the threat of death
Except for losing X amount of friends
Except for lack of alliances
In any defense

clickclickclickclickclickclickclickclickclick

Half in dark, hiding out,
back against a wall,
any one, will do for me,
all I seek in dreams.
Here before, here again,
remnants strewn about,
between the door and me,
shine under the moon.
I'm to blame, prophecies
rolling in with rain,
hold me tightly in sleep
Loneliness, a poem that,
written by my own hand,
paints bridges with glitter mixed
up with broken glass.

Clawing up grey walls,
stumbling on,
breaking nails off
paper and ink,
in silver screen
dreams
they haunt,
if you ignore
them cause you could be like them
if you ignore
the qualities you bring, inborn,
since you can't be
what you see,
what's your worth
to redeem?
I repeat:

Why are you alive when you could be dead?
Hide your hideousness, plebeian.
The silver I love, the love that I want, lies just behind
your, "Lovely Countenance".

This is going to be kind of like a journal entry. I never keep a journal,
but I feel like doing it, so I'm going to do it. It's like, the first step in a
long line of many, mini steps. Almost ready. I feel like I should stretch
out before I start. Ballistic. You know, like a fighter or something.
Okay. Here I go.

Right now I'm stuck in this little bubble. I got put here by some trouble
just a few years ago. Man, it was ****** up ****, like the most ****** up I've ever been in. Life, as they say, got the best of me. **** came first, then beer all day er'day, spending my living living with some ****** up ***** who's bad with money. We matched 'cause I'm ****** up. I ****** up, 'cause I shut up. First time lifestyle collaborator, so it was like, man what-am-uh-gonna-say? I feel love and I've been conditioned to just ride that **** with pride on your ****. Don't tell me I don't know what I want man. I've got my head on straight. Don't hate. Haters can't appreciate romance, bro. Come back when you learn that, yo. I don't blame the drugs, so I kept 'em when we left together, but
in different directions. Live-in gone. Foundation rot. Suspension shot.
****! **** **** ****! I hit ground with my teeth. Instead of asking
for help when it was needed I took help that kept me breathing
till I could ***** my head on almost too many terrible months in
the future which I never thought I would see in fruition, and I admit
in volition that (cough) (cough) I almost lost myself totally, ******* stripped of the holy one and only. One and only.

We've. Received. Bad vibes.

So now there's nearly nothing to my name unless you count the
meter it retains. But I've got flies in my pocket that I sprinkle
for pepper in my popcorn bag. There's no space for me here but
there's vacancy in the matrix. And I see the signs lit up. Being
singular not enough? I'd rather be rich and ubiquitous than poor
and bored while I whittle the days away, feeding my head with
whatever's left from original message I received. I've opened that **** and I tried it on for 23, pressed to impress but it wasn't me.
Listen when I say it, 'cause I'm serious, now that my name is
worthless what could it hurt to burn some synapses and knight
myself? After all I don't count on being rescued from this hell.
What's my name? Anything will do. But it's got to be very memorable
and cool. How should I glow when I get outta this cocoon? Take
it to the Max. Normal won't do, 'cause it's gotta be catchy for the
TV and YouTube. I won't be a copycat, no, never. It's just gonna be the
me that I've eternally received only under my belt, tight to the
extreme.

Like. The lost. Before.

Already wasting time with all the years we've been alive,
so why not nip the bud before the grace of your christ?
His open eyes must call for genocide if you're up in arms,
willing to put piety before the reality of impaled hearts.
No poetic device can describe how quick you shove your
***** up our *** before, exasperated, you decide in a flash
to bludgeon the devil's monsters till you're ******* enough
blood to take to your father for the war, to win.
Do you win?
Well,
do you win?

**** my *** and slit my throat.
I am a wo-man eater without a cause to own.
Knife my gut like you gut your fish.
Cause your masculinity won't last
unless you're pounding a ****, *****.
That's right, I am a body in the night,
that's all, but in the long run I'll haunt
your dreams for every ear around
your collar bone.
Cause I'm worthless.

Your very presence does to me,
the inexplicable.
I watch you shyly.
You, walkin' like a lady.
in smokin' yoga pants.
Lately rocking only sweats.
I swear you had a beard one day.
I want to approach you, eager, and say:
"I like it. Please take me away."

Confines stunt now and wilt my insides
when I simply chance a glance at mirrors.
Why would I stay here when I'm unwelcome?
These ******* confines wilt me and
will **** me someday, much faster then the
cancer I'd like.

Can't get you out of my head,
thrashin' nightly in my bed.
Who the ****'s to say I can't live the way
I see myself deeply, inside out?
But then I dream about the toilets.
I still dream about the tension.
How do you walk so tall
and split the difference when you're broke as ****?
Morally bankrupt, hunting pennies to pay your sins?
Is this line you walk
the brittle back of safety, or
is this line that's been drawn
the fear of native captives
waiting for spit?
I like it so much I'd even meet you
on your worst day just knowing
I could be the god I am,
without definition,
**** and lying on grass.

The tears of gender on my bed sheets,
too tired of the run to get up.
I'll inter myself, to ******* rise anew,
no obligations outside of love,
and if it makes old love boil in blood,
then,

****.

So you've been doing well and you're engaged,
so nice. "Happy for you" doesn't begin to explain
the feeling I've been taking to bed every night.
When I get sad over life and
look at pictures of slit wrists,
I let the memories flood in.
Shuffling to our room in midday
dead set on apologies.
Finding you stretched out and half dead.
Finding you stretched out and half dead,
you said,
"You did this to me."

I bet I'd be better off if I'd left with my cigarettes
But as it stands I can wish you well,
and for your husband the same hell,
to reach the soul you never had.
I hope he's happy in laughter like me,
when I meet you in dreams.
I am not humble in memory.

Responsible for nothing why don't we fade
into oblivion together, draining the shame
ascribed to our names with the gaze of
the all-important outside eye?
Why don't we fall back from the game we play
when each move we make causes pain?
I am Not.
Never and Non.
Lost.
Troubled and Gone.
I am Not.
Never and Non.
Forever all,
Always for nothing
Til I'm troubled and gone.

One open can of
half empty **** water
popped the night before
for a palm of pills,
codeine and HRT
chased with Kamchatka 8-0
she collapses in bed
with hope in her head,
belly full.

Morning comes, her will is gone, she stumbles blind
to root her elbows at the window sill, still groggy
from the high of nighttime.
Noon comes and the clock stops, it's a road block
setup at the overpass and by the time
transference makes sense she's
spent her energy just shifting.

In place, enervated. A mistake.
A husk built of guilt and bone.
In a closed room full of blood and *****,
alone. Atone.
In place, enervated,
elbows at the window sill.

You remove the words from my mouth
treating me like a fountain spring
(insert laughter)
when you're dry and searching for life
only if, and otherwise I'm off
Your precious utility
darkly in your canteen
You remove my words as if you're due
mitigation for free

I won't be left alone
within your arm's reach
If that's what you want,
how bout I pull open my wounds?
To let all the bees out?
How bout I twist on your wrist?
To show you I've got poison
to take, if you've nothing to give.

Robert's a bad man, sister
just look at how quick he cracks to stay alive.
What's up with that ****? Maybe
deep down inside he inhabits misery.
If it's not come,
it's coming.
Can't you see it
rolling in off the mountain
like a river of clouds?
Honey, chin up.
The thing is, he
knows he's gonna get wet,
and he's running
like it's coming
whether it does or not.
Robert's a bad man who's gonna get wet.
Robert's a bad man who's gonna get it,
all at once, the ***** he's been owed
in dividend.

Mother
Today I rise with open eyes
Plant matter, owing the North her dues
The tallest tree, he said,
Find the peaked spear and gaze up
Mother
I've wandered here forever
under the bramble's shade,
too afraid to face you.
For shame!
Of you, I am part for the whole.
Faithfully uncovering, I praise
Honor North in waking, I
am Her energies raised
Honor North in walking, I
am Her pious parade
With every breath
provide one good angle  of the
image I take and remake
as Her continuous plant food

Is there yet able faith here?
Or is time too much to bear?
Hang a clock in the living room
and remove another guest
Hear no pure walls speaking silence
Only hand clicks
filling the little room left
Every ****, every drink mixed
Every ****, every line
Every death, every heartthrob
leads right to the end
Whittling soft skin
from your memories
from your projections

When I die I'll hear the wall clocks
leading me through blind passages to you
and the others, using the timing
to jump back in.

Now that you are gone
they surely
will find you
as good as you
know you deserve
on Earth.

Why do you mock me
here in my own space?
This is my home
to desecrate.
Had I known you were
here as well I might
take my chances
to venerate.

I want to be alone,
lonely and lost.
I want to be
the god that I ought.
Whatever it takes,
however I find
I may as well
buckle up,
because I'm ******
either way.

Now that you are gone
they surely
will find you
as good as you
know you deserve
on Earth.