Ice cold
frozen home
psychotic tone
I'm in a coma with Osmosis Jones
I should have known
That if I got to blown
I'd be stuck here all alone

Lesson learned now it burns blue
Like a dry ice brain freeze mentally abused
Split paths loyalty or love so much to lose
Better choose young blood before the devil comes to you

Click clack. Click clack. Click clack.
a reminder of the past
The golden apple god forbid me to grasp
Temptation took its toll and consumed me. . .
And cast the Devil's curse ~ he had me at last
My soul changed
Hell's chorus sang
His reaper came
And unleashed his chain
I strip you of all you love
Walk the earth alone in the dirt and the mud . . .

I put the blood in the jug
Now solitude is the only friend that has my back
It creeps on me as I lay ~ a ghost in a box
Tic Toc. Tic Toc. Tic Toc.

I hear laughter as I lay purple and blue
My eyes see red
Swollen half dead
Stabbed in my bed
By the spear of destiny . . .
​
Two maidens rise
The sun and the moon
They see right through my disguise
The black thorns embedded in my heart by my own devices
One too many vices
Forsaken by reality
The black thorns consumed me
Set me me free
I pleaded
Put an end to this monstrosity by ending me...
I should have known they would pity me
Instead they cleansed the beast in me

The sun shined her rays and warmed my home
I cannot bring them back, but your loved ones gave me light so you'd never feel alone
The moon gave me a voice to battle my insanity
I cannot take your pain, but speak and your words will grant you serenity.
I thanked the sun
And fell in love with the moon
But she lived in the sky and left too soon

So now I speak to her with poetry
Standing here hoping she'll notice me
But till then I'll keep using this gift
for better or for worse,
for richer or for poorer,
in sickness and in health,
I will turn pain into strength

In the quiet of my room  shadows creep  
A heavy heart  a soul that weeps.
Time ticks slowly like a fading light  
Each breath a burden  each thought a fight.
The mirror shows a face I barely know  
A reflection of pain  a heart full of woe.
Whispers of darkness fill the air  
A lonely echo  a deep despair.
The memories linger  like ghosts in my mind  
Happy moments lost  so hard to find.
Friends and laughter  now distant and pale  
In this heavy silence  I feel so frail.
I write my goodbyes on a crumpled page  
Words spill like tears  a heart in a cage.
I long for peace  for a way to escape  
But fear grips my heart  a tight  aching shape.
The stars outside seem to dim and fade  
A world without me  a choice I’ve made.
But deep down inside  a flicker remains  
A whisper of hope  amidst all the pains.
I think of the love that I might leave behind  
The faces that cared  the ties that bind.
But the darkness is loud  it drowns out the light  
And I’m lost in a tunnel  no end in sight.
I remember the laughter  the warmth of a hug  
But shadows are heavy  and the world feels so snug.
I wish I could see the beauty out there  
But my heart feels so tired  too weary to care.
In these final hours  I search for a sign  
A glimmer of hope  a reason to pine.
Yet silence surrounds me  a blanket so cold  
I long for a story that’s yet to be told.
So here I stand  at the edge of the night  
With a heart full of sorrow  and dimming light.
But if someone hears this  if someone can see  
Know that you matter  and you’re not just like me.
Though my journey is ending  yours has just begun  
Hold on to your dreams  face the rising sun.
For life can be heavy  but love can be found  
Seek it in shadows  let hope be your sound.

I am lonely.
I cannot say that
I have always been alone,
although
now I know
fate meant for me to be this way.
I have nobody.
I would be wrong to say
someone would care,
if I tried again to destroy myself.
The effect would be massive
only if I was perfect.
It's untrue that I could have worth,
even if I tried.
I am less than beautiful,
nobody can convince me that
I am right where I'm meant to be.

We live in a generation
Where the lack of verbal conversation
has made all of us blind.
We all hide behind
our shiny, protective screens
where what words truly mean
is blanketed by lighthearted connotations
followed by a lack of punctuation.

But those lighthearted phrases
Cause others to go through phases
Where the light is stolen from their hearts.
They see what others call jokes
as simply a hoax
to disguise with lies
the darkness hiding behind their eyes.
It is intended to hurt,
to prove their worth
and to unearth all your insecurities.
While some go through phases
others get caught in mazes
that drag them ever deeper
into the fiery flame pit of self hate.

This self hate, they do not appreciate.
They let themselves bite the bait
instead of getting the story straight.

We live in a time where the muscles of our thumbs
are stronger than the muscles of our minds.
Enough so that our eyes are blind
to the downfalls and issues of mankind.
“If I can’t see it, it isn’t there.”
Oh, but our satellites, those things up there?
And the tectonic plates below us where
some of the greatest destruction brews without a care.
...Those exist, right?
You can’t see those.
So you shove those away,
like a box of old clothes
and make way for your own
delightful fantasy you call your own.

“Life is hard.”
You don’t know hard,
until you see the scars
someone gouged into themselves
to escape the iron bars
weighing them down to life.

You don’t know hard
until you see someone’s mutation
from normalization
to one of pure starvation of love,
and devastation,
because they were a victim of miscreation.

You say you’re not bullies,
but you destroy someone’s life with relative ease,
tearing down their fragile shield of protection
and steering them in the wrong direction.

Just a simple word, directed towards someone,
“Stupid.” “Fat.” “Ugly.”
Can remove a person’s life completely of glee,
make the light vanish from their soul,
and make their life seem like the Dust Bowl.
There is no “making amends.”
So the next time you open your lips
and put your hands on your hips,
before the words roll off the tip
of your tongue,
Look into their eyes
and be willing to compromise
because you don’t know how they feel inside.
Sometimes it is better to be silent than to be heard
because the tragedies caused by the spoken word
are better left unheard.

Everyone has dreams,
and everything is not what it seems,
and before you see the streams
of tears running down their face
as they scream in frustration
that their life is a state of desolation
you’re better off being silent,
than violent.

And just as everything is not what it seems,
I…
am not what I seem...

I think Im rotting from the inside
A feeling of constant suffocation
A need to be wanted, loved
The beauty of it is on the outside
It's not a disaster
Embrace the fake smile
Force out the laughter
To scared to embrace flaws
That made you lose it all
From friends to family
I hate the late nights when I cry and ask myself what is wrong with me
After a while you learn
That picking fruit from the forbidden garden can't be the root to all your women problems
That your just an issue beyond the point solving
There is no point of solving
The sun can't hide it's tears from the sky
Eventually it'll rain
But as time passes
Strawberries grow from pain

The feeling was one of being forgotten.
The air stagnant, almost rotten.
The ceiling was a tonne of stone.
Beneath the foundation, I feel prone.
Sorting through the ration, and the emotion.
The pain. The rain.
A malfunctioning drain.
Overzealous. Overflowing.
The treacherous creature, furiously rowing.
Water on the stony floor,
from the Storm above the ground.
I never heard the thunder sound,
from the cell, where they dwell
in the dark.
And have never been to Sunset Park.
And never heard the rooster crowing
before its light.
Because they know it's not their fight.
In that case, it must be mine.
Is it my responsibility, for the sun to shine?
Did I paint the clouds of my own free will?
For people to sit on their window sill,
and glumly look upon the Grey.
Was it only me who had a say?
The truth is it was your day,
as much as it was mine.
And it was your crimes
that you did in your primes that shape the world today.
And then there were those who hid when they should have lived.
And thrived where I would have died.
We're threatened by light.
Found freedom in a lack of space
and victory at the end of every race.
I couldn't keep me safe, even with mace.
For I was dazed in the sun that blazed too hard in certain places.
But disappeared at random phases.
It is for them to bite the dust.
And lust for god knows what.
That will help me stem the rot
in your spine.
Even though you tell me everything is fine.