I don't think you will
Ever fully understand
How you've touched my life
And made me who I am.

I don't think you could ever know
Just how truly special you are,
That even on the darkest nights
You are my brightest star.

You've allowed me to experience
Something very hard to find,
Unconditional love that exists
In my body, soul, and mind.

I don't think you could ever feel
All the love I have to give,
And I'm sure you'll never realize
You've been my will to live.

You are an amazing person,
And without you I don't know where I'd be.
Having you in my life
Completes and fulfills every part of me.

I came to a fork in the road.
I could have went left.
I could have went right.
But i just turned around.

See,
If i went left, down that path,
some might have,
Picked at my insecurities and laughed,
I may have tripped on a branch and crashed,
The grim reaper could have slashed,
My brains could have been Smashed.

If i went right, down that path,
Who knows what may lie,
Might be a hot, sweet pumpkin pie,
A warm, voluptuous woman willing to give me a try,
A shoulder on which when hurt I could cry,
Shelter from weather so I could stay dry,
Or love,
an everlasting supply.

But those paths could also be vice versa.
And I'd have no way to know.
so I realized that when I came to the fork,
I had to think consequentially.

So when I say "I just turned around",
I wasn't running due to confusion, or in need of protection,
I simply turned to ask for help,
I needed some direction

The feelings that come up when we lose someone are
numb
disbelief, shock,
All of this is normal.
The reaction to death happens in zigzag ways
surprising us with levels of intensity
for a longer period than we thought possible
we have to trust that all that is happening is part of the healing
Mourning is a signature experience, unique to each person-- and at each loss-- in form, duration, and impact.
We may experience tears
Feel sadness that someone is gone
Angry that he or she was taken from us.
We are afraid of the emptiness we will feel now.

If you must go, then go for a while
Remember that first step is a hard traveled mile.

To learn what lessons life has in store,
You must be willing to open each door.

Don't be afraid to experience something new
For each experience will be a benefit to you.

Never live your life in the past
Enjoy every day as if it were your last

Mistakes you will make along the way
Learn from them, and you'll be okay

Set your goals high and strive for them
As long as you try, you'll never be condemned

Be kind and respect the people you meet
For they may be the ones to make life complete

Be sincere in everything you do
And treat others as you wish they would you

Whatever you do, make sure you're content
For the last thing you want is something to resent

So if you must go, then go for a while
And when you return, return with a smile.

Ice cold
frozen home
psychotic tone
I'm in a coma with Osmosis Jones
I should have known
That if I got to blown
I'd be stuck here all alone

Lesson learned now it burns blue
Like a dry ice brain freeze mentally abused
Split paths loyalty or love so much to lose
Better choose young blood before the devil comes to you

Click clack. Click clack. Click clack.
a reminder of the past
The golden apple god forbid me to grasp
Temptation took its toll and consumed me. . .
And cast the Devil's curse ~ he had me at last
My soul changed
Hell's chorus sang
His reaper came
And unleashed his chain
I strip you of all you love
Walk the earth alone in the dirt and the mud . . .

I put the blood in the jug
Now solitude is the only friend that has my back
It creeps on me as I lay ~ a ghost in a box
Tic Toc. Tic Toc. Tic Toc.

I hear laughter as I lay purple and blue
My eyes see red
Swollen half dead
Stabbed in my bed
By the spear of destiny . . .
​
Two maidens rise
The sun and the moon
They see right through my disguise
The black thorns embedded in my heart by my own devices
One too many vices
Forsaken by reality
The black thorns consumed me
Set me me free
I pleaded
Put an end to this monstrosity by ending me...
I should have known they would pity me
Instead they cleansed the beast in me

The sun shined her rays and warmed my home
I cannot bring them back, but your loved ones gave me light so you'd never feel alone
The moon gave me a voice to battle my insanity
I cannot take your pain, but speak and your words will grant you serenity.
I thanked the sun
And fell in love with the moon
But she lived in the sky and left too soon

So now I speak to her with poetry
Standing here hoping she'll notice me
But till then I'll keep using this gift
for better or for worse,
for richer or for poorer,
in sickness and in health,
I will turn pain into strength

In the quiet of my room  shadows creep  
A heavy heart  a soul that weeps.
Time ticks slowly like a fading light  
Each breath a burden  each thought a fight.
The mirror shows a face I barely know  
A reflection of pain  a heart full of woe.
Whispers of darkness fill the air  
A lonely echo  a deep despair.
The memories linger  like ghosts in my mind  
Happy moments lost  so hard to find.
Friends and laughter  now distant and pale  
In this heavy silence  I feel so frail.
I write my goodbyes on a crumpled page  
Words spill like tears  a heart in a cage.
I long for peace  for a way to escape  
But fear grips my heart  a tight  aching shape.
The stars outside seem to dim and fade  
A world without me  a choice I’ve made.
But deep down inside  a flicker remains  
A whisper of hope  amidst all the pains.
I think of the love that I might leave behind  
The faces that cared  the ties that bind.
But the darkness is loud  it drowns out the light  
And I’m lost in a tunnel  no end in sight.
I remember the laughter  the warmth of a hug  
But shadows are heavy  and the world feels so snug.
I wish I could see the beauty out there  
But my heart feels so tired  too weary to care.
In these final hours  I search for a sign  
A glimmer of hope  a reason to pine.
Yet silence surrounds me  a blanket so cold  
I long for a story that’s yet to be told.
So here I stand  at the edge of the night  
With a heart full of sorrow  and dimming light.
But if someone hears this  if someone can see  
Know that you matter  and you’re not just like me.
Though my journey is ending  yours has just begun  
Hold on to your dreams  face the rising sun.
For life can be heavy  but love can be found  
Seek it in shadows  let hope be your sound.

I am lonely.
I cannot say that
I have always been alone,
although
now I know
fate meant for me to be this way.
I have nobody.
I would be wrong to say
someone would care,
if I tried again to destroy myself.
The effect would be massive
only if I was perfect.
It's untrue that I could have worth,
even if I tried.
I am less than beautiful,
nobody can convince me that
I am right where I'm meant to be.