Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
Mar 2018 · 2.5k
manipulative
amber Mar 2018
You wear a mask,
Perfectly painted,
Seemingly realistic,
But I see the chips:
The flaws in its craftsmanship,
Where your skin peeks through.
And I see you for what you are:
A coward.
Mar 2018 · 139
frosty
amber Mar 2018
I am so cold,
Inside and out,
I suppose.
Like Jack Frost:
My heart as cold as my nose.
These holes in my jeans,
Do not help.
2015 I think
Mar 2018 · 127
sharp
amber Mar 2018
I step toward you,
You pull away.
My heart shatters,
Glass scatters,
Everywhere.
Mar 2018 · 128
mania
amber Mar 2018
my head is pounding.
is it the presence,
of nicotine,
in my bloodstream?
or is it,
that too many thoughts are swirling about?
bashing into one another,
knocking each other out,
creating chaos in the walls of my skull.
Mar 2018 · 216
pride
amber Mar 2018
I pushed you away.
You hurt me first,
I ran.
You hurt me again,
That time worse.
You knocked my legs out,
From under me.
Stop,
You're winning.
You always have been,
Can't you see?
Mar 2018 · 130
idealism
amber Mar 2018
you move away,
I think of me.
I hear your voice,
I think of me.
your laugh pierces the air,
I try to think of me.
I see your smile,
I *******.
I am so hurt;
you don't mind.
I am so dumb,
to think you kind.
I'm sensitive:
you are too.
please forgive me;
I wish I could forgive you,
but,
do you even want me to?
Mar 2018 · 131
suffocation
amber Mar 2018
Your thoughts beautifully flower within the walls of your mind.
Affixed with thorns, I am nervous to touch them.
Fearful of a rose drawing blood,
I carefully survey the complexities that rage between your ears.

Yet, to uncover the exact meaning of the intricacies,
In your garden of speculations,
I must involve my own opinions and perspective.

But how am I to find myself,
While I am buried beneath the dirt of your living.
mind communication suffocation too much too soon
Mar 2018 · 384
prey
amber Mar 2018
You dug your claws,
Into my pale flesh.
No scream escaped my lips.
My eyes,
Grazed over your talons.
I never saw nails,
So sharp and long.

The blood gushing down my arm,
Was a beautiful scarlet red.
Mesmerized,
I looked up at you.

Over time,
The blood dried;
The initial wonder,
Disappeared.

Day after day,
I stared at your nails,
Buried deep in my arm.
An infection brewed,
It dawned that they,
Must be removed.

I tried ripping one out,
While your back was turned.
You instinctively shoved it deeper.
Wincing in pain,
Frustrated,
Rage boiled inside me.

Extracting them from my flesh,
Sent searing waves of pain,
Throughout my body.
The grip of the very last one,
Seemed insurmountable.

The gouges healed,
Scars remain.
Some days,
A wound reopens,
And I find a piece,
Of your nail,
Thriving beneath my skin.

But when I see one,
I rip it out,
And burn it.
******* flashback weak dependent abusive acceptance anger resentment strength willpower
Mar 2018 · 151
sanitization
amber Mar 2018
I haven't seen your face in days
We know it is better this way
I haven't seen your face in years

I long to be younger
Too naive to know
You weren't loving me
You were possessing me

Alone, cold, senseless
Your skin somehow felt warm
Under my fingertips
Focusing all my energy on you
Was, at first, euphoric
Soon the feeling was replaced
With an emptiness

Draining me of life
You carried on: complacent
Drugs and my presence
Stabilized your horrific being

Why do I still struggle
With keeping my life
Sanitized
So you can no longer
Infest it
Mar 2018 · 150
steaming bath
amber Mar 2018
bathing in my emotions
feeding my feelings
nurturing my neurosis

people are too far
they seem nothing like me
Mar 2018 · 204
at least there's stars
amber Mar 2018
When will the time come,
When I'll feel content?
The walls built around me,
Seem like cement.
My screams might as well be,
Nonexistent.

If not one heard it;
No one heard the yell,
No one really fell.

Laying down, I look up.
The sky offers no comfort.
I am still as I was,
I still feel alone and hurt.
Mar 2018 · 583
crack in the sidewalk
amber Mar 2018
I am a flower blooming,
From a crack in the sidewalk.
You do not discover the beauty,
Until you suddenly glance,
Into that crack.
Your eye doesn’t fall upon it,
Too easily.

Why would anyone purposefully glance,
Into that small, dark imperfection,
In the sidewalk anyway?
They are much too busy,
Worrying about where they are planning to place each foot,
Next.
Left,
Right,
Left,
Right.

Besides, they would rather gaze ahead,
To the perfectly placed,
Well grown, nurtured flowers.

They glow in the sunlight,
And catch your eye when you pass;
The rays causing their gorgeous colors to dance, and radiate.
The breeze blows a cool wind to pull them closer together.
You see: happiness.

As I sit in the crack,
Waiting, wishing, wondering,
Sometimes I blossom,
Sometimes I wilt.

Once in awhile,
One or two people
May be kind, or perceptive, or understanding,
Enough to give me a chance: an opportunity.

They stare fixedly,
And instead of anger,
They see potential.
Rather than hurt,
They see love.
Mar 2018 · 331
mud
amber Mar 2018
mud
Uncertainty is flowering from every inch of me.

The vines of confusion wrap around my arms and legs,
Constricting me to befuddlement.
Conflict brews from within me, and keeps on stirring slyly.
Being unable to cease it, my emotions are throwing a fit.

Stepping stones keep sinking each time I place a foot upon one.
I never minded mud before,
But now that I'm sinking into it,
I miss walking and feeling the cushion of grass hug my feet.

The end of winter marks the end of a frozen spell.
Spring will enlighten the moods of nature,
And hopefully, mine as well.
Feb 2018 · 265
unoriginal
amber Feb 2018
the thing is,
you aren't magnificent.
my mind isn't laced,
with the thought of you.
there is no rarity,
beaming from behind your eyes;
no slight shimmer of a marvel,
beaneath the surface of your skin.
falling in line with those ahead,
and those behind:
you bore me.

if i was given a chance to pull back,
your carefully sealed unexceptional flesh,
would i see and feel something,
i was unaware you possessed?
a tiny glimmer of unprecedented original beauty,
an unknown personal outlet
exemplifying fearless individualism?
...or would i be disappointed,
by the nearly hollow expected interior,
singularly displaying a rudimentary *** drive,
and the unimaginative blueprints,
on how to fulfill it.
Feb 2018 · 343
myth killa
amber Feb 2018
a sentient being
hyperaware of his emotions
with flawless discernment

a heart so strikingly alluring
seemingly comprised of
gorgeous sleek sparkling ice

...but once melted
underneath, it is revealed:
a gorgeous fire blazes
radiating such warmth
and pure intentions
you would be a fool to think him cold

his exterior:
so breathtaking
seemingly unreal

rare stylistically
unapolegetically
himself

basically
bexey.
Feb 2018 · 471
fake
amber Feb 2018
People all have many faces,
Conjuring facades,
Hoping no one catches on.
Tricking even themselves,
Into thinking:
"I love unselfishly,
Without motives."

Living day-to-day,
Afraid to reflect upon yesterday.

To ignore the blatant feelings,
Of those you so-call love,
Is worse,
Than not loving them at all.
Feb 2018 · 402
nightmares
amber Feb 2018
My stomach is filled with poison.
Eating away at the lining,
I want nothing more,
Than to throw it all up:
The discomfort,
Resentment,
Agony.

Instead,
It steadily brews,
Driving me insane,
Without reprieve,
Putting me,
In tormenting pain.
Feb 2018 · 360
autumn
amber Feb 2018
Fall is so beautiful.
Thick and thin branches,
Are painted with,
Gorgeous shades,
Of orange, red, and yellow,
That my eyes fall upon,
By gazing out,
This broad window.
The contrast of,
Dark brown bark,
And warm shades,
Bring life to the season where,
Everything begins,
To die.
The sky is so crystal blue,
So clean,
Unlike my clouded surroundings.
Jan 2018 · 529
alone
amber Jan 2018
Feeling extra detached,
My empathy - unlatched.
Surplus time alone,
Odd feeling to the bone.
Never lonely,
But looking for a shift in emotion.
People can sometimes provide,
This motion.
Truly seeking just one person,
For perspective immersion.
A being who I personally find,
To have a lavishly beautiful mind.
Jan 2018 · 810
apprehensive
amber Jan 2018
Your creator took extra time,
To make you so beautiful.
It is unclear,
As to whether,
Your soul is just as gorgeous.

Seemingly selfish,
Scared to see,
Your true self.

Staying in solitude,
Should sustain my safety,
But keep me from you.

And what if your soul sparkles,
Similar to your eyes.
Jan 2018 · 536
Untitled
amber Jan 2018
How is it,
I feel more alone,
Alongside others each day,

Than I did,
Continuously in solitude?

People exhaust my heart.

Alone it idealizes,
Interactions,
Romanticizes,
Human nature.

Reality,
Weighs heavy,
And disappoints.
Dec 2017 · 196
passion
amber Dec 2017
the ocean
of emotion
drowns me
but id rather be
gasping for air
than crackling
under the sun
feeling barren
in the desert of apathy
Nov 2017 · 893
ghost
amber Nov 2017
Your voice used to warm my heart.
The sound takes me back,
All the way back to the start.

When my body was brand new,
Freshly developed,
I could not see through,
Others' facades.
I always let them have their way.

I said no,
And you pressed on,
Hearing me,
But not paying much attention,
To my pleas.

Other protests went unheard,
Never escaped my mouth,
The lines were always blurred.

I thought I was loved,
But that was untrue.
I was being shoved,
Into a small dark place.
A place where you could do,
All you desired to.

I let you have me,
Before I knew who I was.
Nov 2017 · 303
the narrator
amber Nov 2017
Although I often care too much
I can't help it, I stare too much
Now you are here,
And as I look into blue
I can only truly see you
And the color of your eyes.
Sep 2017 · 264
unwarranted
amber Sep 2017
As I drift throughout fits of consciousness,
My soul flutters about the exposed space,
Surrounding me.
Its wings span out and glide gracefully.
Yet, so easily affected by nearing influences,
It instinctually dips low for a means of protection.

But when fear takes charge of its path,
Positives go undiscovered.
Perhaps fear debilitates reaping the potential warmth,
Another is radiating.
Maybe the individual’s soul is imbedded with good intentions.
Maybe the person’s heart is comprised of purity.
Sep 2017 · 344
embers
amber Sep 2017
The sound of your voice,
Ignites a fire within me.
Gorgeous, dancing flames,
Replace the darkness inside my body,
With light.

Suddenly, I wince with pain.
The light falters,
As the realization hits:
My innards are being scorched.

At first, the flames displayed such beauty,
And blindingly dazzled.
I took no notice of the slow burning,
Charring my innocence.

Silencing you,
Was the only way to put out the fire,
And slowly begin to heal.

Robbing you of your voice,
Means eliminating your existence,
To me.

— The End —