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Monisha 19h
Just like that,
I felt a sprinkle of pain,
You know the kind that gnaws and grows,
And nibbles your insides.

What started it, I wonder,
A buried thought,
a deserted experience,
Befallen, buried, squashed,
Run asunder, but still alive.

It pushes through the barriers to say,
Hey you! Yes you!
I exist,
Don’t think your looking away,
Will stop me coming back, some day.

Huh! I beat it hollow,
and there it’s slimy self crept back,
I had learnt not to feed it as it would grow,
I keep it on such a strict spartan diet,
My oh My! Look how bulbous it looks!

Hmmmm! Pain, were you feeding inside of me merrily while I was asleep,
Chewing my tissues, chomp chomp, burp,
Deep so very deep,
I feel I am missing a bone or two,
you gluttonous pain,
I am sure you’ve gobbled up many cells too.

Dark, gray, silent, doom,
Am I on for lifelong gloom,
Aah! Hrmph! Boo hooo!
What do I do,
So many around me,
Who do I reach out to?

Oh I do reach out,
And they say,
You? Couldn’t be,
You’re so strong,
It doesn’t fit you well, this pain you see!

I laugh, Is this pain
A size smaller for me,
Am I self indulgent,
In saying it hurts.

I start looking around,
And see many like me,
Laughter hiding the pain,
Cloaked well, their touch warm,
The tremble reaching out in vain.

It’s tough, this despair,
Sometimes with valid cause,
Many times so much accumulated,
Unaddressed, unmet, covered with gauze.
It rears it’s **** head
For many
Eating their insides,
It’s canine jaws,
Sharp and unrelenting.

I still don’t have an answer,
Who does really,
Expectations, recriminations, justifications, validations, manipulations, mechanisations,
Eat us up a bit more.
We sleep off some days
hoping to sleep away to nothingness.

And then we arise to the morn,
The sun filtering through, casting its warmth,
A bird in the distance chirping away,
Pain still there but so are my fingers glowing like starlight along the Milky Way,
My limbs stretch and I purr away,
The clocks tick tock,
Reminds me of a chance,
A new beginning,
A fresh start,
A fresh me,
A wounded but mighty heart!  

Facing my pain instead of sublimating it,
Nursing it tenderly instead of ill treating it,
I know you’ll ease out, heal out,
And I will be better each day,
Because this life, this beautiful life,
Is worth living each moment, every day.

When I face you, I shall share you,
Tell your story to those I want to,
And suddenly, you will feel acknowledged and dance way into the oblivion because you’ve been sung to, heard, cuddled and celebrated.

Till then, I trudge along...
This is an ode to so many of us who carry burdens of hurt, unresolved pain, and stories to self which need to be heard. May you seek and find those willing to listen and hold your hand, sometimes that’s all it takes, sometimes you need more, but seek you must. I send you my love and hugs and Godspeed to find your pain and acknowledge it, only then healing starts.
Emma May 11
I dream of you
You’re far away
It’s been months since we talked
I am afraid to fall to you
We’re better when we’re apart
You are so cruel
And I’m your fool
But still I think of you
You’re like the stars
Distant and cold
We burnt out years ago
Your light still shines under my skin
Adam May 1
If we were happily in love,
and then I began to stray a little farther-

I’m sorry, love,
but you can blame my father.
George Apr 18
He was a stranger.
He had my father's high forehead.
A nose occupying his face with confidence.
Fingers twitched in a certain way when he was uncertain.
There is a misguided vogue in the idea of purgatory.
Romanticised, as a rich tourist might after visiting a poor slum.
My conversation with this stranger,
met more to me than it ever will for him,
because of the unresolved,
which shall always and forever be.
I don't know what to think
The questions pile up
I still don't have the answers
I guess I've been stood up
I'm not sure what happened
You changed then changed again
And after all that happened
We're still not even friends
Maybe it's my fault
Did I come on too strong
Those moments we shared all to ourselves
I guess I read those wrong
I'm searching for the answers
There's nothing there to find
I'm grasping for some context
But I can't read your mind
01/19/2018
amber Feb 2018
My stomach is filled with poison.
Eating away at the lining,
I want nothing more,
Than to throw it all up:
The discomfort,
Resentment,
Agony.

Instead,
It steadily brews,
Driving me insane,
Without reprieve,
Putting me,
In tormenting pain.
The caged bird
you won't let sing,
croons the loudest
when it forgets how to.

A song that should've been haunting and beautiful
becomes only haunting.
Anonymess Jun 2017
Sometimes I wish I were an insect. So small and insignificant. Where all I had to worry was where to eat and where to sleep.  Under a rock or deep in the ground away from the world. My only worry the trample of a boot or the squawk of a bird. Sometimes I wish I were an insect.    

Sometimes I wish I were a tree. Strong and sturdy. Where all I had to do was stand and watch the seasons change, the people change, the world change. My only worry the chop of an ax or whether my roots are deep and strong enough to stand against the howling winds. I wish I were a tree.
    

Sometimes I wish I were a river. Moving rapidly and easy. Where all I had to do was go with the flow of my current. My only worry the unbearable heat that brings on a drought or the toxins of man. I wish I were a river.
Em MacKenzie Apr 2017
Good to know you, but I'm
Over and
Out.
Done being left in the cold only to be
Braving a drought.
Yes, I'm here, let's clear the doubt, the story has
Ended, and I'm not sure what it's about.
I wrote this while dreaming one night, and it's meant to be almost sung to the tune of Buddy Holly's "it doesn't matter anymore." but not quite.
JGuberman Aug 2016
...and when I finally showed up
and went into my mother's last room in the ICU
as the fluids were still clotting in their tubing
and the machinery of life was silent,
the necrosis lingered.
Her knitting was sitting to one side
with many loose ends
unresolved.
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