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Ashwin Kumar Sep 2023
Your smile is like a drop of honey
Your laugh is like a Resurrection Stone
Because it can bring people back from the dead
Your voice is like one of the symphonies composed by Beethoven
If looks could ****
I would probably be dead by now
If I were to make eye contact with you, that is!
Hey, I was just kidding!!
But yes, your glare is so intense
That it can even force Lord Voldemort
To fall at your feet
And beg for mercy
Thus giving him a taste of his own medicine!!!
Your expressions keep changing
Like the colours of a chameleon
If someone were to wake you up
In the middle of the night
And force you to act
You would do it as naturally
As flying comes to Harry Potter
Yet, in spite of all the fame and glamour in your life
You are as humble as Michael Faraday
With a heart as pure as that of Goddess Sita
Again just kidding, you are as human as I am
Only infinitely more beautiful
From the outside as well as from the inside
And I am extremely thankful to you
Not only for your movies
But also for inspiring me to write better poetry
In a way that even William Wordsworth wouldn't have been able to pull off!!!
Dedicated to my all-time favourite filmstar - actress Aishwarya Lekshmi
Ashwin Kumar Aug 19
Were nothing to go right
You would show me the light
Because, are you a beacon of hope
Which doesn't allow anyone to mope
Really, are you that one person
Who manages to keep me sane
Even when I am surrounded by total chaos
You teach me how to find bliss
When I am trapped in a bottomless pit of despair
Thanks to you, am I able to bear
Even the worst of all situations
Much louder than your words, are your actions
You fight fire with fire
Never, do you put on airs
Underneath your hard outer shell, lies a rather soft interior
For your people, do you greatly care
Not to mention, are you extremely brave
So much is there about you, that I greatly love
You are among the greatest poets
Not to mention, the most fearless activists
About what our society thinks, you give not a ****
Even after receiving so much hate
You have shown not, any alarm
Rarely, do you take the bait
Even after endless provocation
And at the same time, you show not, any caution
Hence, by you, am I so inspired
That I feel less and less afraid
To speak my mind
Until I grow really, really old
May the Lord bless you, you fantastic human being
With anything and everything
Which you hold dear
Keep fighting, keep motivating and take care
Jai Bhim! Vaazhga Periyar!!
Yet another poem on my chief idol Dr Meena Kandasamy - one of India's best novelists, poets, translators, academics, intersectional feminists and anti-caste activists.
Ashwin Kumar May 2020
How cruel can you be?
How heartless can you be?
Every month, every week
Every day, every hour
Every minute, every second
You subject your employees
To nothing but abject slavery
In the name of hard work
In the name of targets
But in reality, just to satisfy
Your unquenchable thirst for money
Your insatiable greed for power

How cruel can you be?
How heartless can you be?
You expect results at the speed of light
But you do not provide your employees
The necessary resources
After all, do you think
They are all Harry Houdinis
Capable of pulling rabbits out of hats?

How cruel can you be?
How heartless can you be?
Your employees burn the midnight oil
And brave Hell for you
Some of them are forced to do it
Just to make both ends meet
And you have the sheer nerve
To deny them their pay
Which they have so richly earned
After weeks and weeks of toil

How cruel can you be?
How heartless can you be?
Mark my words, the time will come
When you will pay for your deeds
Till now, you have been lucky
Fate has been on your side
However, things will soon change
Your company will be in free-fall
You will be in debt
With nowhere to turn
As your employees will desert you
One by one
Not even a Houdini can save you then
This poem is a message to the owners of the company where my best friend works; she has not been paid the salary since June 2019!!
Ashwin Kumar Nov 2019
How dare you?
How dare you do this to me?
I, who have put so much trust in you
And you take all that trust away
And shatter it into a million tiny pieces
Leaving me, frozen with shock
To watch helplessly
Cursing my poor luck
And praying desperately
That the day should end
So that I can at least begin afresh

How dare you?
How dare you do this to me?
How dare you think
That you shall get away with it?
You, shall pay for your actions
I shall transform myself
Into the monstrous form
Of a King Cobra
As I quietly, but swiftly
Gently, but firmly
Slither towards your pathetic form
I relish that fear in your eyes
As I raise my majestic hood
I see you cower in terror
As I hiss in a quiet, but deadly manner
I see you whimper and moan
However, as always, I am totally unmoved
Before you can say "mercy"
I strike, and strike repeatedly
Enjoying that wonderful feeling
Of my long and razor-sharp fangs
Sinking into your warm flesh
Relishing that wonderful taste
Of the warm and delicious blood
That runs through your veins
As my highly neurotoxic venom
Pierces every nerve and sinew of your body
Every artery and vein
I can sense, that Justice has been served
As your body becomes immobile
And crumbles in a heap
I hiss once more
As if to say again, "How dare you?"
This poem is dedicated to RailYatri; who failed to deliver dinner during my train journey yesterday evening.
Ashwin Kumar Jan 2023
In order to achieve results
You need to work hard
That should be easy enough to understand
The difficult part, though
Is how hard you need to work
Especially when it comes to Recruitment
You see, the nature of the profession is such
That you can't predict anything
Because everything depends on people
And every individual is different and unique
In his/her own and special way
Thus, luck is very crucial
When it comes to hiring people
There are times
When you work out of your skins
And still fail to achieve the desired results
Because luck is not on your side
There are also times
When you do the bare minimum of work that's required
And are able to achieve positive results
Because you are kissed by Lady Luck
On both cheeks
These contrasting scenarios are common
When it comes to hiring Investment Bankers
You spend the entire day calling people
But very few show interest
And apart from those who are not keen
There are quite a few
Who don't even bother to answer your calls
Or call you back
There are also some people
Who say "I will think about it and get back"
Either they get back with a negative response
Or they don't get back at all
That is to say, they just disappear!!
Thus, you have to start all over again
And since you also have tight deadlines
You are forced to work almost till midnight
And sacrifice a few hours of sleep as well
Since you have to go to office the very next day
And it does not end there
Your work forces you to stay at office till 7 PM
Almost an hour later than usual
And to add insult to injury
You get a mild reprimand
From the security staff
Of the business centre which houses your office
For not leaving on time
If you thought the worst was over
Then you were wrong
Because you are forced to work on Sunday as well
In order to ensure
That at least one resume is sent to the client
At the start of the week to follow
If only if you had some luck
That is to say
If even one of the candidates who had said "No"
Had said "Yes" instead
Then you'd have enjoyed a weekend free of work
And got some valuable rest in the process
For all your efforts of the previous week
Yes, in order to achieve results
You do need to work hard
But how hard you need to work
Is something that is almost impossible to answer
When it comes to Recruitment
Particularly when you are hiring Investment Bankers
Poem on the amount of the never-ending work that I had to do; in order to share resumes for two never-ending Investment Banking roles
Ashwin Kumar Jul 2022
There are quite a few people in this world
Who are special to me
In their own ways
But none, more than my parents
Especially my mother
Seeing as it was her
Who brought me to the world
In the first place
And raised me
With so much love and care
That I feel I am one of the luckiest sons
However, at the same time
Amma has ensured
That I am not spoilt or pampered
As often happens with many rich kids
On the other hand
She has always kept me grounded
Whenever I've gotten too ahead of myself
So, it is thanks to Amma
That I am able to maintain humility
In the face of success
Also, whenever my confidence has taken a beating
Especially at work
Amma has always been at the ready
With a few words of encouragement
And has never failed to remind me
That I've been in such situations earlier
And managed to turn things around
Amma is not only a wonderful parent
But also a great friend, mentor and counsellor
Rolled into one
I can go on and on about her
But I think that's all for today
Poem dedicated to my dear mother.
Ashwin Kumar Apr 2022
It is a long weekend
A much-needed break
After four days of hard work
With no results to show for it
As the clock strikes nine
I slowly open my eyes
Still stuck in the twilight
Between my dreams and waking up
It is only the prospect of coffee
A strong, hot cup of morning coffee
Prepared by my dear  mother
And full of a rich aroma
With no sugar to spoil it
That gives me the strength
To climb out of my bed
I then head towards the dining table
To give my mom a customary hug
Before entering the kitchen
And grabbing that cup of coffee
As I head back to my room
And reclaim my bed
I check my phone
As I am wont to do
And bang! my Whatsapp is filled to the brim
With all sorts of notifications
The smile on my face
Turns into an ugly frown
As I check one of the many notifications
It is from my boss
Asking me to be available at one o'clock
For a call with a client
That too, that dreaded client
Which has ******* us over
More times than we can even count
And I also happen to notice
That the client HR has added us to a Whatsapp group
Which means there is no way we can back out now
Way to go, guys
You know for sure
How to spoil a weekend
Self-explanatory!
Ashwin Kumar Feb 2023
There are many kinds of love
Romantic love, the most common
And also the most overrated
Family love, probably the most beautiful
And most unconditional as well
Platonic love, or friend love
Again, simple and unconditional
Something that has become very popular these days
Which leaves us with.....cousin love
Yes, one of the most underrated forms of love
Seeing as it is not frequently talked about
Well, most families stick together
So do best friends
However, there are a few things
Which you may not feel comfortable sharing with your family
Usually, the best option is to share such things
With your friends instead
Or rather, your best friend
But then, it is also possible
That you may not have a best friend
In such a case, your best bet would be your cousins
Cousins are part of your extended family
And they also know your immediate family well
Remember, you don't always have to choose between two extremes
Sometimes, you have to take a middle path
That's exactly where your cousins come in
Because they will listen to you fully
Without getting too emotionally involved or overprotective
And in addition, they may have suggestions
That might not have occurred to your family or friends
So, cousins are more important
Than most people might think
And it is high time
That we start showing love to our cousins as well
Along with family and friends, of course
But yes, not all cousins are the same
Just as it is better to have a select few close friends
With whom you can share anything
Rather than a big group of fair weather friends
It equally makes sense
To maintain close relationships with a select few cousins
Who mean the world to you
And always have time for you
Yes, cousin love is extremely underrated
But at the same time, very valuable
And something to be cherished, forever
Dedicated to my close cousins
Ashwin Kumar Dec 2022
How would I like to be loved?
It is a very difficult question
Because, though I appear, at first glance
To be "The Guy Next Door"
The reality, I assure you, is entirely different
Firstly, every individual is different
Secondly, I am autistic
And finally
There is so much about me
That you will get to know
Only if you are a good friend of mine

How would I like to be loved?
Well, let me tell you
Love is not all about candlelight dinners
Nor is it about *** in the bedroom
It is about being there for each other
No matter what
If I truly love someone
I would be ready to go to jail for her
Of course, not if it is for something ethically wrong
But you get the idea

How would I like to be loved?
If you have seen the Tamil movie "Thiruchitrambalam"
Then you would understand
If I were to say
That I want someone to love me
The way Nithya Menen loved Dhanush
In that amazing movie

How would I like to be loved?
If you've seen me at my worst
One of those days
When I am in one of my rages
And keep shouting and breaking things
Or I lose my focus at work
Due to all my insecurities
Rearing their ugly heads
Or I simply drown myself in my thoughts
Refusing to come out of my bed
Or I cry like a child
Drowning myself in a tidal wave of self-pity
And you still love me the same
As you did when I was at my best
Then it is indeed true love
Enough said

How would I like to be loved?
When I hear one of Harris Jayaraj's romantic melodies
And can instantly relate to it
I know that I am in love
And that love is real, not reel

How would I like to be loved?
If you ask me how was my day
And I go on and on
Droning about the technicalities of my work
Or cribbing about various issues
Such as candidates, clients or my boss
And you never tire of listening to me
Then I know you are truly in love
Also, if I keep asking you how was your day
Every single day after work
And you never once tire of answering such a mundane question
If that is not true love
I don't know what is!
And on that note
It's time to wrap up this little monologue
And return to hard reality
Self-explanatory!!
Ashwin Kumar Mar 2022
I am different
And have always been
Right from the age of four
Whether it be my fascination for trains
And cement mixers, for some reason
Or my peculiar fear of water
Or my obsession with the number of pages in a newspaper
And last but not the least
Playing cricket with myself

I am different
And have always been
I can't make small talk to save my life
Social cues are like Greek and Latin to me
I understand sarcasm
As much as Voldemort understands love
I keep fiddling with my things
Pens, papers, clothes, hair etc.
My room is as organised
As a typical bachelor's den is
And the list goes on and on

I am different
And have always been
Earlier, this always used to bother me
And make me feel inferior
Especially when people advised me
To improve my verbal communication skills
And body language
However, I have realised now
That they could not have been more wrong
Because I am autistic
And autism is not something that can be cured
Rather, it has to be managed
And thanks to therapy
I have been managing reasonably well
For the last five years or so
Let me repeat
I am different
And have always been
If you have a problem with that
You are welcome to leave
Poem about my being different because of my Asperger's Syndrome, a form of autism. There is a Harry Potter reference.
Ashwin Kumar Sep 2023
When I met you for the first time
It could hardly be called "love at first sight"
But I thought you were a very decent human being
Someone whom I could trust
And after meeting your family
That feeling only deepened
And once we began speaking over the phone
On an almost daily basis
I felt as though we had established some sort of understanding
Therefore, I agreed to marry you
Our engagement was a very simple affair
But I got to know your family better
And after we took you on a tour, the very next day
My emotional attachment towards you only grew
And slowly and steadily
I began to like you in the romantic sense
In fact, I even helped you financially
And it was quite a significant amount
Then we met again
For the purpose of marriage registration
I took you out on a date
And we really enjoyed each other's company
Then the pandemic struck
And things were never the same again
Our marriage was postponed indefinitely
Naturally, you were very upset
But to start ignoring me and my family completely
Was way out of line
Nevertheless, we thought you needed some space
Hence we didn't complain
However, after you started speaking to me again
I noticed a significant change
You were not as enthusiastic
As you used to be earlier
And you were free to talk only after 9 PM
These were all red flags
But my heart couldn't acknowledge that
And I thought things would eventually work out
After we finally got married
How wrong I was!
I gave you as much attention as I could
Which included watching serials along with you
Frankly speaking, I have never been a fan of Indian serials
But I made an effort, just for your sake
I even combed my hair the way you suggested
And grew a beard and moustache
Even though I usually prefer to be clean shaven
I did all this
So that we could develop a deeper bond
And more importantly, you could be happier
But did you truly care?
Every time I made an effort to start a conversation
You told me the same thing
That is, we would eventually talk more over time
Your coldness was killing me from inside
But I kept mum
Because I thought you truly cared for me
The way I cared for you
Again, how wrong I was!!
You spent more time on the phone
Than talking to me
You even had the nerve
To mock my tummy
Usually I am very sensitive about such things
But I controlled my feelings
Again, for your sake!!
You were in bed most of the time
Of course, that was understandable to a certain extent
Because you were pregnant
But to protest every time I called you for dinner
Was simply too much
Nevertheless, I truly loved you
Hence, I made excuses for you
From time to time
Even after the shocking results of the ultrasound test
I believed that you were innocent
And that you were being discriminated against
On the basis of class and caste
When my best friend tried to open my eyes
To the hard and cold reality
That lay before me
You got super possessive
And forced me to stop talking to her
Meanwhile, your best friend tried to brainwash me
As to your innocence
And both of you did your very best
To try and turn me against my family
Because of you, I was trapped in a prison
And had no idea how to escape
Until you finally admitted your wrongdoings
But you still had the nerve
To ask us to take you back
After all that you did
And, worst of all, you lied about me
To my mother and my best friend
And played the victim card
I loved you and you betrayed me
But that is only the tip of the iceberg
You took advantage of my autism
And manipulated me in such a manner
That it destroyed my self-confidence
I was in a state of depression
For more than a month
And had to go through a rather painful divorce process
During which, you played not only the victim card
But also the caste card
And on top of that
Your cunning lawyer tried to deceive you
In order to obtain a truckload of cash
And it was us who set things right
By convincing you to go for mutual consent
Nevertheless, we still had to pay you four lakhs
On "humanitarian" grounds
And you never returned the jewels we gave you
Anyway, you may now be leading a normal life
Like any other person
Who knows, you might even have got married again
There is absolutely nothing to stop you
From telling people a pack of lies about our divorce
However, as long as I live
I can never forgive you
For using me the way you did
And throwing my love back on my face
There is a famous quote
"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned"
Well, it applies to men too
Especially me
Poem dedicated to my ex-wife.
Ashwin Kumar Jun 2021
I deeply miss those days
When I used to travel
Of course, not just by any vehicle
But a vehicle with a thousand wheels
Clattering away on iron rails
Like there is no tomorrow
A vehicle I had fallen for
Hook, line and sinker
Since the age of two
A love that I refuse to let go of
And a love that refuses to let go of me!

I deeply miss those days
When we railfans got together
Not simply to eat and drink
Not simply for some chat-chit
But to follow our passion
And shoot videos of trains
Thundering away into the sunset
Like there is no tomorrow

I deeply miss those days
When we railfans got together
And did train trips using circuitous routes
Akin to moving from the head to the mouth
Via the entire body!

I deeply miss those days
When I used to do solo train trips
On a monthly basis
Sometimes, even twice a month
An ideal way to **** work stress!

I deeply miss those days
When I used to write blogs
About every trip of mine
And post them in IRFCA
The largest association of railfans
At least as far as India is concerned
Including many railway officials
With an encyclopedia of information
About the Indian Railways
Whether it be the locomotive classes
Whether it be the train operations
Whether it be the timetables
Or even the food!

I deeply miss those days
When I used to lie down
Not on a bed, but a berth
And get lulled into sleep
By the gentle swaying motion
The rhythmic clickety clack
And, occasionally
The melodious chugging
Or the mesmerising humming
Of the roaring diesel
Hauling our train
Accompanied by its horn
Which itself, was music to the ears!

I deeply miss those days
When I used to sit on my Side Lower Berth
And watch scenery fly past me
As we traversed the countryside
The villages and the small towns
The cattle, goats and sheep
The farms and paddy fields
The bushes, shrubs and trees
The ponds, lakes and rivers

I deeply miss those days
When I used to travel the Konkan route
Through a plethora of bridges and tunnels
Lakes, rivers and mountains
And a plethora of greenery
Accompanied by the fierce chugging
Of the ALCO engine hauling us
Or the rhythmic humming
Of the EMD engine hauling us
Of course, it was a diesel heaven!

I deeply miss those days
When I used to travel by "toy trains"
Whether it be the Neral-Matheran train
Or the Kalka-Shimla train
Or the Siliguri-Darjeeling train
It was so romantic
The way we crawled
Right through the heart of the mountains
With a plethora of tunnels
Bridges, viaducts and loops
After all the high speed drama earlier
It was a surreal change
Enjoying the scenery at our own pace
While getting overtaken by joggers
And sometimes, even animals!

I deeply miss those days
When I used to get down
As we stopped at a station
One of so many in our journey
And take a walk on the platform
To check out our loco
And sip from a piping hot cup of coffee!

I deeply miss those days
When we travelled in single-line sections
And our train came to a halt
At a nondescript wayside station
With a platform on only one side
And total darkness on the other side!
I waited for the signal on that line
To turn green, after a while
And heard, from a great distance
The horn of an approaching train
Followed by the lamps of its engine
As it proceeded to burn the tracks
And raise a great heap of dust
Thus shattering the calm of the night

I deeply miss even those days
When I used to go to office daily
Commuting by the famous Mumbai locals
As the train pulled into Vikhroli
I staggered into the First class compartment
Packed to the hilt
With pretentious male executives
Filling the air with testosterone
Such that it was quite a challenge
To even inhale the air properly
It was quite a relief
When Dadar arrived
But then came another challenge
The famous changeover
From Central to Western Railway
Across a sea of commuters
Followed by a brief ride
In another train, to Lower Parel
By the time I reached office
I was drenched in sweat
From head to toe
Not to mention, thoroughly fatigued
What to do?
After all, this is what life is
For the average Mumbaikar

I deeply miss those days
When train travel was the norm
Rather than the exception
However, as far as I am concerned
COVID19 may have taken me out of the train
But it certainly can't take the train out of me!
My longest poem, on deeply missing trail travel since the pandemic struck.
Ashwin Kumar Jun 16
I don't know what wrong have I done
To deserve so much pain
Always, have I been kind
Yet, have I lost a few friends
Suffered, have I, a rather painful divorce
My marriage was a total farce
However, not at all was I at fault
Never, did I deserve so much hurt!

I don't know what wrong have I done
To be taken for granted by a woman
Whom I loved a lot
She cared for me not one bit
Though she turned out to be an amazing actress
Who pretended to be in great distress
And milked me for all was I worth
Really, was she the worst!!

I don't know what wrong have I done
To be so rudely cut off by a woman
Who always called me her best friend
Never did I think our long relationship would end
In such a brutal manner
Especially considering was I always good to her
How dare she take advantage of my autism
***** her and her Brahminical egoism!!

I don't know what wrong have I done
To be rejected by almost everyone
On a variety of dating apps
Sometimes I feel I am being treated like a corpse
What qualities do I lack?
Why do some people only look at my mistakes
And not the good things have I done?
Seriously, with India, am I done!!

I don't know what wrong have I done
But I am not going to be taken for granted again
***** all of you, thanks to whom I have suffered
There may be a time when YOU suffer
I will laugh at you then
Truly, never again, am I going to be taken for a ride
Because Jesus is on my side
Amen!!
Rant on my sufferings in life.
Ashwin Kumar Nov 2022
These are tough times
As far as Recruitment is concerned
Of course, Recruitment is never easy
Especially when you work in a startup
But a year like 2022
With backout after backout
And consequently rework after rework
Really takes the biscuit
Here I am
Without a single closure
In the last ten frigging months
And thus having my confidence shredded to pieces
One would think
That I badly need a break
In order to recharge my batteries
You, on the other hand
Decided to add to the burden
By assigning me, not one
But three extra mandates
Mandates that are not only difficult
But also rather time-consuming
And require dealing with a client
That has tested our patience
On multiple occasions
And on top of that
I have to come to office as well
Of course, it is all smooth sailing
As far as the onward commute is concerned
Thanks to the ever reliable AC local
The return, however, is a different ballgame altogether
Because you always make me late
Thus, I never manage to catch the AC local
And by the time I reach home
I end up hating you to the core
You are lucky magic doesn't exist
Because if it did
You would have been dead a long time ago
I would have seen to that
Anyway, coming back to reality
I have always been tolerant
But, as my grandfather would say
There is a limit to everything
And if you are expecting me to work on Saturdays as well
You are exceeding that limit
And then I will have no choice
But to leave, once and for all
As I've already mentioned
I have always been tolerant
However, my tolerance now runs thin
A rant against my boss for loading me with a lot of extra work when I am already struggling and low on confidence due to a year full of backouts.
Ashwin Kumar Apr 11
I look up to you greatly
Thou art an amazing lady
In you, do I see a fire
That refuses to die, no matter what
You lay your soul threadbare
Wit, is one of your greatest assets
Never do you back down from a fight
In a tunnel full of never-ending darkness
Are you the light
Which keeps emptiness and depression at bay
And puts us firmly on the path to happiness
Come what may!

I look up to you greatly
Your writing is so fiery
That it can spark a raging inferno
Full of righteous anger
Against all the injustice perpetrated by the Indian State
The lynchings that refuse to abate
Poor and underprivileged children dying of hunger
People being denied homes due to their caste
While the government has the sheer nerve to boast
About its so-called achievements
Your poems are a testament
To the famous saying "The pen is mightier than the sword"
Very hard-hitting indeed, are your words!!

I look up to you greatly
Never dost thou fail to amaze
Every story of yours is a maze
Full of character arcs and plot twists
Ensuring we get hooked very fast
And by the time we finally put the book down
Our minds would have been blown!!

I look up to you greatly
Never dost thou fail to raise your voice
When it cometh to social justice
Yet, somehow do you manage to maintain your poise
In the face of never-ending malice
Which is constantly thrown your way
The way you keep your detractors at bay
Is something we must all learn
Thanks to people like you, have I gradually started to unlearn
Certain things I once considered gospel truth
Excel do you, at transforming the narrative
When it cometh to our Hindu myths
For your community, do you live
Not yourself
Hopefully, more books of yours may soon adorn my shelf!!

I look up to you greatly
Thou art a wonderful role model
Bestsellers, are your novels
You love your profession
As much as Israel loves to lie
You yourself are an institution
And always do you aim for the sky
So much have you done for our society
With an absolutely brutal honesty
That beggars belief
Your writings provide some much-needed relief
In these dark and difficult times
Where even mere dissent is often treated as a crime!!

I look up to you greatly
For you, is impossible nothing
And social justice, everything!!
By the Grace of God
May all your dreams come true
And may you have nothing to rue
Finally, must I say
More power to you, Meena!!
Poem dedicated to Meena Kandasamy - award-winning author, poet, translator, anti-caste activist, intersectional feminist and academic; and one of my idols.
Ashwin Kumar Jul 11
I loved you and you broke my heart
Always, did I think you had a soft heart
However, you proved me wrong
For me, did you feel nothing
To you, was I merely a tool
And you turned me into a lovestruck fool!

I loved you and you broke my heart
So badly was I hurt
That I went into depression for two full months
You made me lose faith
And created self-doubts in my mind
To you, was I too kind
Hence, did I suffer a lot
Trustworthy, you certainly were not!!

I loved you and you broke my heart
My self-esteem fell apart
My mind took over my heart
And insecurities began to tear me apart
However, I was not as weak as you would have thought
Neither was I a crackpot
Loving family and friends, did I have
As well as a strong will to live
I decided to focus completely on work
After all, I did not have time to worry about jerks
Today, have I become far more successful
Than you can ever be, you miserable little devil!!

I loved you and you broke my heart
But I began to rebuild, part by part
Thus, have I grown stronger
And become happier
Thanks to the will of Jesus Christ
Definitely, have I done my best
To recover from the trauma you inflicted on me
However, does the fact remain, that you tried to break me
Someone who genuinely cared for you
Yes, really did I love you
And you broke my heart
Truly, are you nothing but a cheat
However, I CAN forgive you once and for all
But it will take some time
One, because you truly are a ball of slime
Two, because I also need to heal
For now, try to be a good human being for once
Even if the very thought of it makes you wince!!
Yet another poem dedicated to my ex-wife, who cheated and manipulated me and broke my heart.
Ashwin Kumar May 29
I love you, dear brother
And for you, will I always be there
Always, have we been close
Right from our school days
Playing a lot of street cricket
Having loads of entertainment
In the form of masala movies
Listening to AR Rahman classics
Debating on Harry Potter-related topics
Playing carrom and chess
The list used to be endless!

I love you, dear brother
So much fun, have we had together
As children, teenagers, adults
Indeed, have we had many a memorable moment
Playing cricket inside the house
And creating a fair amount of chaos
Racking up highly unrealistic totals in book cricket
Going up to the terrace in the evening
And in the process, watching bats
A fair amount of travelling
Especially when it came to trains
Playing the game "20 Questions"
In regards to both cricket and Harry Potter
Going on talking and talking till the wee hours
On a variety of topics
Seriously, were those days epic!!

I love you, dear brother
For me, have you always been there
Advising me from time to time
Always managing to stay calm
Whenever have I gone on ranting and ranting
Taking time out for me while working
Being a shoulder to cry on
Checking on me often
Bringing out the best in me
Not to mention, I'm sure you will agree
It was thanks to you
That I became such an ardent fan of Harris Jayaraj!!

I love you, dear brother
You are going to have an exciting future
So happy am I, for you
Now, is a treat due
Soon, will we meet
Wish you all the very best
And may God bless you
With a truckload of love, happiness, peace and prosperity!!
Poem dedicated to Anirudh, one of my closest cousins.
Ashwin Kumar Aug 11
I love you, dearest sister
And am exceedingly proud, to be your brother
**** cool, you are
For your family, deeply do you care
No doubt there is
That you are a very special person
From whom, can one learn many a lesson
Often, do you seem to have all the answers!

I love you, dearest sister
Beautiful, is your character
Very smart and funny
Never in a hurry
A variety of interests, do you have
Above all, though, do you love
Your profession as a lawyer
Always, do you strive to be crystal clear
In words as well as action
And achieve a balance between risk-taking and caution
Quite strong, is your conviction!!

I love you, dearest sister
Of course, I haven't always been a great brother
However, when you need help the most
I will do my very best
To ensure you get everything you need
Capable are you not, of even a single bad deed
Extremely pure, is your heart
No one, do you ever hurt
Hence, do I love you so much
Certainly, is your personality quite rich!!

I love you, dearest sister
And for you, will I forever care
Whenever has there been a crisis
Risen have you, to the occasion
Done your very best to diffuse the tension
And ultimately saved all of us
Never, can I forget your help and support
During one of the worst phases of my life
When you rescued me from my cunning ***** of a wife
And played a major part
In ensuring my life returned to normal once more
Again, I love you, dearest sister
And may Jesus bless you, now and forever
With every single thing you desire!!
Dedicated to my dear sister Shreeja, who is working in London.
Ashwin Kumar Apr 27
I miss thee very much
Whenever I hit a rough patch
You were there, with your words of encouragement
Your demeanor was always pleasant
My sweetest colleague ever
None, did you hurt ever!

I miss thee very much
You were the torch
Which guided me through the darkness
Never were you crass
Such a delight were you, to be around
My cute friend!!

I miss thee very much
And I want to say, thanks a bunch
For coming into my life
And giving me an extra reason to live
I hope we soon meet again
May your present and future be filled with lots of gains
God bless you, my dear friend
Lots of love, happiness, success, peace and prosperity; may you find!!
Poem dedicated to Urvashi, a good friend and ex-colleague of mine.
Ashwin Kumar Jun 27
I miss you, dear friend
We share a beautiful bond
You make my day brighter
And our office warmer
In fact, are you the ray of sunlight
Which can pierce even the darkest of nights!

I miss you, dear friend
To your constant chatter, is there usually no end
I love the way you enter the cabin everyday
It helps keep tension at bay
Also, have you a great sense of fashion
Rarely, are you out of action!!

I miss you, dear friend
Always, are you kind
Not to mention, exceptionally smart
Your work is an art
It also helps, that you are **** helpful
Always, are your tips useful!!

I miss you, dear friend
If ever you get into a bind
I will be there to support
We share a wonderful rapport
Sometimes we tease each other
Which only shows how close we are!!

I miss you, dear friend
You have an uber cool mind
Even when you get stressed
Never, does your work get affected
Nor, does your behaviour
Really, are you a friend to savour!!

I miss you, dear friend
Always, are you patient
Though can I be **** irritating at times
I love it when you beam
Every time, does it keep me in high spirits
Also, are you a great fan of cricket
On this topic, can we go on discussing for hours and hours
As for work, seriously who cares?

I miss you, dear friend
Going through the daily grind
Is definitely not the same without you
Anyway, you and your family should enjoy yourselves
Have a fantabulous time
About work, give not a ****
Take care and stay blessed
With this, shall my long poem finally end!!
Poem dedicated to Tamanna, my colleague and friend, who is working from home for close to a month; since she needs to attend (and make arrangements for) a very close cousin's wedding.
Ashwin Kumar Dec 2023
India is our country
And we are told
It's a great country
However, I beg to differ
Rather, we are sold
The idea of an utopian nation
A country with a myriad variety of cultures
Races, religions and languages
United by a common feeling of brotherhood
However, look beneath the hood
And the idea implodes spectacularly
Crumbling in a heap
Instead, emergeth a divide so deep
That it can be bested not
Even by the mighty Pacific Ocean
Truth be told, we are but a Hindu nation
In all but name
Instead, we put the blame
For all our evils
On the British, one day
And the Mughals, the very next day
While more and more blood spills
In the name of religion and caste
How long will this last?

India is our country
And as per the Constitution
All Indians are our brothers and sisters
However, if you use your imagination
Understand, you will
That this is just a facade
Designed to protect our international image
As you turn page after page
Of our so-called glorious history
Emergeth the true picture
A land comprising thousands of castes
Fighting each other since the beginning of time
Something that would put to shame
Even the fickle-minded Romans
During the reign of Julius Caesar
We Indians are indeed pathetic humans
Falling like nine pins
At the slightest hint of pressure
While boasting about past wins
That no longer matter

India is our country
And a time there was
When, a proud Indian I was
However, passed have light years, since then
Oppressed, have been our women
More so, those who are underprivileged
Brahmins, were the rapists of Bilkis Bano
And hence, did they go unpunished
Meanwhile, ***** by the Indian Army
Are the women of Kashmir and the North Eastern states
For which, not a single mainstream feminist bothers to show even the slightest sign of empathy
Something that truly makes my blood boil
Even as hundreds of wrongdoers get bail
Because, our justice system is an epic fail
On the other hand, you have innocent people
Languishing in jail for ages
Because nobody bothers to turn the pages
Of the Constitution of India

Yes, India is our country indeed
But patriots we are, no longer
Because, ultimately, humanity is stronger
A field where India can never take the lead
Yes, Indians we are
However, humans we are first
A poem exposing the true reality of India as a country.
Ashwin Kumar Aug 2019
In the name of democracy
An entire state is terrorized
Decade after decade
Freedoms are curbed
Protests are brutally suppressed
People are brutally oppressed
Education is diluted

In the name of democracy
The Army turns from protector to oppressor
Every soldier marching past
With his head held high
Sounds the death knell
For every man, woman and child
In the name of democracy
Soldiers break into houses
Wielding their massive rifles
As if it is their birthright
As the peace and harmony within
Is replaced by abject terror
In the name of democracy
All morals are flung out of the window
As the women are *****
The men who challenge this unspeakable atrocity
Are swiftly silenced with bullets
As the children begin screaming in terror
They are molested, one by one
Until the trauma overcomes them
Such that, they lose their voices
They lose their minds
They lose their hearts
Meanwhile, the soldiers slip away quietly
Having completed a good day of work
In the name of democracy

In the name of democracy
India and Pakistan, warring for decades
Use Kashmir as a bait
As a means to satisfy
Their unquenchable thirst for power
As the potion simmers on
Fuelled by hate on both sides
Curfews and lockdowns follow with alarming regularity
Schools and colleges are shut down
Political organizations are banned
The Internet is crippled
Mobiles and landlines are killed
Even the most feeble of all protests
Is brutally quelled with bullets and grenades

In the name of democracy
Consent is dead and buried
As nationalism takes centre stage
The world watches on silently
Allowing India, the oppressors-in-chief
To reclaim the moral high ground
And suddenly proclaim themselves as saviours
Leaving the beleaguered Kashmiris no choice
But to bow to their captors
Their dreams of self-determination
Shattered ruthlessly in the course of a mad, mad day
In the name of democracy
The shocking events of today forced me to rant in the form of this poem about Kashmir.  Patriotic, nationalistic Indians reading this may be tempted to troll me; but keep in mind, if you are silent on the atrocities of the Indian state and the army; you shouldn't complain if I block you - after all, humanity is above nationalism.
Ashwin Kumar Oct 2022
After hours and hours
Days and days
Weeks and weeks
And months and months
Of sheer hard work
You would have hoped
To achieve at least one closure
In a year
That has been disappointing at best
And abysmal at worst
With backouts becoming as common
As India beating Pakistan in a Cricket World Cup
However, Lady Luck disappoints you
For the third time in a row
As the sheer miserliness of your client
Pushes your candidate away
And it is ultimately you
Who ends up being the loser
But that's not the worst part
The worst part is
Having to start all over again
With a rather limited pool of candidates
Still, it is not in your nature to give up
Especially after having come this far
So, you make a concerted effort
To find fresh candidates
And after a lot of searching
Followed by a lot of calling
You finally land a good candidate
But the client rejects him in a flash
Undeterred, you continue searching
However, the already limited pool of candidates
Starts shrinking rapidly
And just when you're about to lose hope
You manage to find a decent profile
However, the client rejects this as well
Quicker than the speed of light
And with every rejection
Your confidence dips
Slowly but surely
Until you can stand it no longer
And scream at the top of your voice
"Investment Banking Hiring Is Not For Me!"
Fairly self-explanatory!!
Ashwin Kumar Oct 2022
You all may think
That autism isn't a big deal
Am I right?
Well, when everything goes your way
You are "normal"
Just like everyone else
But the moment things start to go south
As my therapist would say
The brain chemicals would kick in
And you would be trapped in your own world
Fighting the madness
That threatens to surround you from all sides
In the form of a cacophony of loud noises
Different people shouting different instructions
One phone call after the other
Being assigned multiple tasks at once
The list is endless
Of course, the solution is simple
You just need to embrace your autism, don't you?
True, but it is easier said than done
Especially when you tend to forget things
At the worst possible time
Misread a number of social cues
Fail to detect sarcasm
Say the wrong thing at the wrong time
Crack under the slightest signs of pressure
And last but not the least
End up with labels such as "******" and "absent-minded"
Now, do you finally understand
Why autism is indeed a big deal for me?
Poem about my Asperger's Syndrome, a form of autism.
Ashwin Kumar Feb 2019
Two years of toil
Two years of utmost dedication
Two years of perseverance
Where are the fruits?

As every month begins
My eyes light up
In keen anticipation
That my efforts would be rewarded
However, the wait is so long
That it kills me from within
As I wonder whether my time is valued
For you, time is precious
You expect quality and speed
At the same time
Is it wrong
For me, to expect the same
From your side?
However, all I end up doing
Is keeping a straight face
While I listen to your lame excuses
As I wonder whether my time is valued
Whether my efforts are valued
Whether it is worth
Burning the midnight oil
For an employer
To whom I matter
Only when money chases him
The same money
Which I am denied
Again and again
Till I am a fool
To even dream
That my dues would be cleared
Poem I am writing as my workplace frustrations come to a head...for the umpteenth time!!
Ashwin Kumar Oct 9
I stand with you, Dear Comrade
Because, always do you stand
With the oppressed
With the marginalised
With the hated
With the silenced
And finally
With the ignored!

I stand with you, Dear Comrade
Because, every time do you take the lead
When it comes to fighting against injustice
Calling out media bias
Exposing the hypocrisy of the liberals
Highlighting gender and caste issues
Blasting the central government left, right and centre
And last but not the least
Making us all feel your righteous anger!!

I stand with you, Dear Comrade
For you, does my heart bleed
Because, are you an extremely kind soul
Who cares for humanity above all
Beneath your raging passion
I can feel your sheer compassion
You've been through hell
And yet, do you stand tall
Fighting endlessly and fearlessly for social justice
And striving your hardest for peace
Without even thinking of giving up
To you, greatly do I look up!!

I stand with you, Dear Comrade
Of you, forever will I remain proud
Whenever I have a bad day
It is you, who shows me the way
During my darkest phases
It is you, in whom I find solace
Even when I am extremely negative
You provide me the motivation to be positive
May Jesus bless your beautiful soul
And may you find your inner peace, above all!!
Poem on why I will always support Dr. Meena Kandasamy - famous novelist, poetess, translator, academic, raging intersectional feminist and passionate anti-caste activist!!!
Ashwin Kumar Nov 2019
Is this a democracy?
Is this a secular country?
Where is liberty?
Where is equality?
Where is fraternity?
Dear government, all the masks you wear
To cover your true faces
Which are full of evil
Have fallen like nine pins
It is time to cut the pretence
And to call a ***** a *****
For you have been brutally exposed, in broad daylight
As nothing more than a dictatorship
A tyrannical, fascist, Brahmanical dictatorship
Where human rights are routinely violated
Dalits and Muslims are lynched
Countless atrocities happen in the name of caste
Countless freedoms are curbed
And the list goes on and on
With no end in sight

Is this a democracy?
Is this a secular country?
Where is the freedom of expression?
As the marginalised communities
After countless years of suffering
Raise their voices in a crescendo
The police show their ugly faces
Raining blows after blows
Turning a university into a warzone
In an uncanny reminder
Of the Jallianwala Bagh massacre

Is this a democracy?
Is this a secular country?
A country where dissent is brutally suppressed
A country whose government cannot be questioned
A country whose constitution is being ignored
Tell us, dear government
Are you really better than the Nazis?
Stand with BAPSA. Stand with JNU. Down with the brutal police. Down with the tyrannical JNU administration. Down with the Brahmanical government!! Say no to the fee Hike!! Say no to the Hostel Manual!!
Ashwin Kumar Oct 2017
Is Twitter safe for women?
Yes, if they are silent
Yes, if they are subservient
Yes, if they accept abuse

Women aren't supposed to be bold
Women aren't supposed to say no
Women aren't supposed to complain

Men have a right to abuse
Men have a right to harass
Men need not fear anything
Men can do as they please

Is Twitter safe for women?
Yes, if they ignore **** threats
Yes, if they laugh along with men
While men make sexist jokes

Men are the kings
A king is always right
A king can mock his queen
A king can **** his enemies

Why women create such drama?
Poor men just want to have fun
Privacy is such an elitist concept
Consent belongs to the man
Men are the more powerful ***
The *** that enjoys a right to ****

Is Twitter safe for women?
Yes, if they forget they have voices
Yes, if they forget they exist
Yes, if they concede defeat to men
This is a sarcastic/parody poem on the safety issue of women in Twitter
Ashwin Kumar Feb 2019
I have placed my trust in you
Not once, not twice
But for years and years
Every time you fail to deliver
I tell myself to be patient
I say, "give it some time"
As I wait and wait
You begin to take me for granted
Your service becomes poorer and poorer
While my wallet grows thinner and thinner
I tell myself to be patient
But my face grows redder and redder
My eyes begin to blaze
My teeth grow sharper and sharper
My mouth begins to foam
My fists begin to clench
My finger and toe nails grow sharper and sharper
Still, I tell myself to be patient
But then you fail spectacularly
When it matters the most
This is the last straw
With an almighty roar
I pounce on you
Heedless of your frantic cries for mercy
And tear you to pieces
While I drink your blood
I pause for a moment
To savour the just retribution
For all these years of injustice
For all these years of betrayal
I was patient, for a long time
But patience too, has its limits
Poem meant for Vodafone India senior management. Statutory Warning: Contains violence and bloodlust.
Ashwin Kumar Jan 2022
It has been two years
Two very long years
Since we were blessed
With the opportunity to listen
To an entire album
Of your unique music
Whether it be the soulful melodies
Or the foot-tapping dance numbers
Or the mesmerising fusion songs
Or even the **** kuthu songs
Not to mention, the gripping background music
That never fails to draw you in
No matter what the movie situation may be
Romance, comedy, tragedy, action, suspense
For me, work and music go together
Especially when it is your music
That I turn to
In order to beat the stress
That comes naturally with Recruitment
In fact, there are times
When I actually look forward to working
Because I am confident
That all I need to do
Is to create a playlist of your best songs
Plug in my earphones
And click on 'Play'

It has been two years
Two very long years
We have missed you a lot
Of course, there is always the option
Of listening to your existing music
There are a plethora of songs
In every genre under the Sun
However, we are too eager
For some fresh music
Because we know
That there is still a lot left in you
As they say
Form is temporary
But class is permanent
So, let us hope and pray
That 2022 will usher in
The return of the "Melody King"
Poem dedicated to the Birthday Boy Harris Jayaraj - my favourite Indian music composer.
Ashwin Kumar Mar 3
I thought you cared for me
Because, your words had always conveyed that to me
I was supposed to be your best friend
However, our relationship, you decided to end
You said you were my sister
But you left me feeling rather bitter
Because you cared only about yourself
And left me hating myself
For something as minor as a Facebook comment
Never did you have any good intent!

I thought you cared for me
But it was never "we"
It was all "you"
Our friendship had no value
Because you were obsessed about yourself
You and your anaconda sized ego
Which you could never let go
You and your precious Mumbai Indians
Were the only **** sapiens
Who truly mattered to you
Apart from your "bestest friend"
You, would he blindly defend
As though you were a Nobel Prize winner
While you were actually a sore loser
With an extremely domineering personality
Masked by a deceptively sweet tongue

I thought you cared for me
But you never let me be
Because, all that mattered, was your precious image
Often, would you take umbrage
Over relatively insignificant matters
Such as me not marking you present
When you were LITERALLY absent
No wonder, did you have your haters
Because, YOU came before everyone else
Never did you take a pause
And empathise with anyone
In fact, YOU were everyone!!

I thought you cared for me
But you never truly cared for anyone
You thought you were a special someone
Who deserved all the attention in the world
On the other hand, often did you fold
At the slightest hint of pressure
Though you were so sure
That you were always right
Oh boy, never were you a pretty sight!!

I thought you cared for me
But you never took the trouble to understand me
You called me your best friend
But I was nothing more than a means to an end
Because you were a narcissist
And as a friend, one of the worst
Seriously, accepting your offer of friendship
Was nothing short of a mishap!!
Anyway, you will get what's coming to you
Your friends will eventually leave you
And then it will be just YOU
Left to fend for yourself
As you deserve to be
Because you are so obsessed with yourself
However, the world is for all
It's time you learned that
Once and for all!!
Poem dedicated to a narcissistic former friend of mine from my engineering days.
Ashwin Kumar Apr 21
It's been a year since we first physically met
But close to three years since we first virtually met
Thou art a fascinating person
From you, have I learned many a lesson
I love working with you
Sometimes, does it feel too good to be true!

It's been a year since we first physically met
For the team, art thou a brilliant asset
So fun are you, to be around
To your chatter, is there no end
Musical, is your laughter
Like you, can there be no other!!

It's been a year since we first physically met
Always, art thou upbeat
And so charming is your smile
That it instantly lifts the mood
And makes us forget all things bad
Not to mention, are you so supportive
That, around you, do we always feel positive
So good are you, at your work
That, even when things go berserk
Do you somehow manage to stay calm
Truly, is your presence a soothing balm!!

It's been a year since we first physically met
I feel we have been getting along great
Faced, have you, a lot of difficulties
However, always have you emerged strong
Hardly anything, have you done wrong
Thou art an awesome colleague
So proud do I feel, to be part of your league
Also, are you one of my nicest friends
Of you, am I quite fond
May the Lord bless you for evermore
With all the love, happiness, success, peace and prosperity in the world!!
Poem dedicated to Tamanna, a good friend and colleague of mine.
Ashwin Kumar May 2023
Ever since I watched you act in the movie "Jagame Thanthiram"
I knew there was something special about you
You took on a very complex role
And brought a lot of character into it
Next came PS1
Though your role was limited
You did full justice to the character of "Poonguzhali"
Right from the moment you emerged from the water
To your feisty dialogues with "Vanthiyathevan"
However, your finest hour
Came in the film "Gatta Kusthi"
Where your character "Keerthi" had to undergo a number of transformations
From a fierce wrestler with short hair
To a simple housewife with long hair
And back
The scene where you singlehandedly fought off all those armed goons
Is one I'll never forget
For the rest of my life
Then we come to the movie "Archana 31 Not Out"
Though, in my opinion, there wasn't anything remarkable
About the movie as a whole
You again did full justice to your character
Right from the travails of your job as a teacher
Including handling a class full of troublemaking students
And dealing with a lot of uncertainty
Due to the impending layoffs
To facing a number of rejected marriage proposals
For all of which you assigned cricketing terms
And finally the ****** scene
Where you delivered a speech
That brought goosebumps to one and all
You are not only an amazing actress
But also a wonderful human being
Bold and brutally honest
And humble and down-to-earth at the same time
Yes, you don't know me
Nor would you have even heard of me
But I can say with a lot of pride
That I will always be a fan of yours
Dedicated to my favourite celebrity - actress Aishwarya Lekshmi.
Ashwin Kumar Aug 2020
Dear Ronald Bilius Weasley
No matter what others say
I will always be your fan
You are such a marvellous character
Not perhaps, a perfect one
But a character with flaws
So real, and so beautiful
That we can totally relate to it

In your first year at Hogwarts
You played a game of chess
In such a magnificent manner
That even the Russians of the Muggle world
Could not have done any better

In your second year at Hogwarts
You faced your greatest fears
With a courage and nerve
That Godric Gryffindor would have been proud of
For the sake of your best mates

In your third year at Hogwarts
You almost ruined a friendship
For the sake of a rat and a broomstick
But you made amends for it
By standing up to a notorious murderer
That too with a broken leg
Again, for the sake of your best mate

In your fourth year at Hogwarts
Again, there was a misunderstanding
That threatened to derail a strong friendship
But you were there for Harry
When it truly mattered
There was also some ugly ****** jealousy
As your teenage hormones took centrestage
But at least you got an inkling
That you and Hermione
Were made for each other

In your fifth year at Hogwarts
There was a lot you had to put up with
The constant bullying of the Slytherins
Especially during Quidditch matches
The temper tantrums of your best friend
And finally, the evil Dolores Jane Umbridge
Initially, due to your nerves and insecurities
Your Quidditch performances went from bad to worse
But then, you finally showed us
The stuff you were made of
Saving goals left, right and centre
And to cap it all
You bravely fought a dozen Death Eaters
Yet again, for the sake of your best friend

Finally, we come to the war
Due to your never-ending insecurities
And anxiety for your family
Worsened by a dreadful locket
That contained a part of Voldemort's soul
You briefly deserted your best mates
But returned when it mattered the most
Even saving Harry's life in the process
And then, as you destroyed that darned locket
You finally conquered your fears
And transitioned successfully to manhood
Finally, during the Battle of Hogwarts
You showed us your sensitive side
A side that we had never seen before
As you displayed your concern for the house-elves
Precipitating your first kiss with Hermione
Later on, you lost your dear brother
But continued to soldier on bravely
Even standing up to Voldemort himself
Hence, dear Ronald Bilius Weasley
No matter what others say
I will always be your fan
A poem dedicated to one of the best characters in the Harry Potter world - Ronald Bilius Weasley
Ashwin Kumar May 2023
You may not remember me
As it has been ages
Since we last spoke
However, I probably won't be able to forget you
Right from the moment we met
I was drawn to you like a magnet
You were shy to a fault
And extremely sweet-natured
As I got to know you better
It didn't matter to me
That though you were a Tamilian
You spoke only in English
Because you were a great listener
And when you did speak
You were able to articulate your thoughts
Better than almost everyone in our college
Your mere presence was enough
To ensure that I didn't miss a single class
Except when my health was down
It is often said
That people lose focus
After falling in love
However, on the contrary
Thanks to you, I was able to develop extra focus
And achieve better grades
You inspired me
In a way that no one could have done
We once had a debate
On a rather forgettable movie
It didn't matter that our views were different
What mattered was your energy and intensity
And that fact that you took time out
To debate with a person whom you didn't know very well
You even taught me some tax calculations
Of course, it was a case of unrequited love
But totally worth it
And what was even better
Was the fact that you had known all along
And yet didn't shy away from talking to me
You really are one of a kind
As I mentioned earlier , I will never forget you
Poem dedicated to my first love.
Ashwin Kumar Jul 2023
There are times
When I wish I could be a child again
Because, as far as adulthood is concerned
There is a lot of pressure and expectations
And many complications as well
Work, relationships, time, money, health
The list is endless
Also, let us not forget
That I am a divorcee
And yearning for a second marriage
Or at least, some kind of romantic relationship
And at the same time
I have to deal with work as well
Anyway, I wish I could be a child again
Because my childhood was awesome
Lots of love
From my family, cousins and relatives
Playing cricket with one of my close cousins
Going on train trips with family
Having fun with schoolmates
Including enacting the part of a Japanese anime princess!!
Playing chess with my maternal grandfather
Watching the golden era of Sachin Tendulkar
Listening to AR Rahman classics
Watching the best movies of Superstar Rajinikanth
Playing tennis with my father
During my second visit to Mumbai
And best of all
Having a life free of tension and worries
Except of course, as far as studies were concerned!!
Well, there were bad times too
For instance, the bullying I faced
Which forced me to leave a renown school
In the span of just one week!!
Nevertheless, on the whole
My childhood is something to be cherished forever
And reflecting back on it as an adult
I am filled with a sense of nostalgia
Being a Potterhead, I wish I could use a Time Turner
And go back in time
In order to revisit all those fond memories in person
Yes, I am not ashamed to say
That I wish I could be a child again
Self-explanatory!!
Ashwin Kumar Jul 2022
Who gave you the idea
That love is all about romance?
Love can be towards anybody
In this massive planet
Whether it be your parents
Or grandparents
Or siblings
Or cousins and relatives
Or even friends
And apart from these people
Love can exist in other forms too
Helping an elderly gentleman or lady
Cross a busy road full of speeding vehicles?
That's love
Running a langar to feed the poor and needy?
That's love
Running an NGO to treat cancer patients
As well as rehabilitate them after treatment
And engage them in useful work?
That's love
Cancelling your job interview
To take a victim of a road accident to the hospital?
That's love
Dropping your colleague off at his/her home after work?
That's love
Standing up to a bully who is picking on a few kids?
That's love
Feeding chapattis and biscuits to a few cats on the street?
That's love
Again, who gave you the idea
That love is all about romance?
Self-explanatory!!
Ashwin Kumar Jun 2022
May has been a really difficult month
I have worked my **** off
Hunting for the right candidates
For a few roles
Which have almost driven me mad
And at the same time
Handling a few other roles
Which have, admittedly, not been as difficult
As the ones mentioned above
But still require a certain amount of time
Time that is as rare and precious
As a drop of water
In the Sahara Desert
And after all my efforts
I expected to close
At least one of these roles
In fact, I was on the verge of doing so
However, as always
It is Recruitment
Which has ended up having the last laugh
Leaving me with nothing to do
But start all over again
And at the same time
My dear boss has decided to assign me another role
Thereby adding to the already huge burden
On my hapless shoulders
May has indeed been a really difficult month
But it appears to have been merely a prelude
To the tornado that June is going to be
If the last few days are anything to go by
About my difficulties in Recruitment particularly in the last 1 month or so
Ashwin Kumar Aug 2018
May woe betide you
May the worst of calamities
Strike your kith and kin
May you lose everything
That is dear to you
Every penny of yours
Shall be consigned to the flames
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust
Serving as divine retribution
For the bundles of cash
That changed hands everyday
Faster than the speed of light
Throughout your deceitful existence
Filled with lies and blackmail
Before eventually finding a safe haven
In your classy, upper middle class dwelling

May woe betide you
May every happy thought of yours
Be ****** out of your conniving minds
May your life be reduced
To one full of manic depression
One incapable of coherent thinking
Thus dwelling only on your failures
Till you eventually succumb
And self-destruct
With a flash of blinding light
Such that, all that is left
Is an unrecognizable form
A wretched caricature of regret
With your souls torn asunder
Leaving the world a little happier
A poem which is meant for my ruthless, cunning and treacherous ex-house owners in Chennai
Ashwin Kumar Jun 2023
You people never took me seriously
For you, I was just a problem child
Who needed to be molded
According to your whims and fancies
You never saw me as an individual
Who has his own thoughts, feelings and emotions
My opinions never mattered to you
You wanted me to improve my verbal communication
As well as my body language
But you never even tried to understand me properly
It never occurred to you
That there is a reason why I am different
Or even if it did, you never truly cared
What bothered me the most, though
Was the fact
That you believed you were acting in my best interests
Of course, it was my mistake
Not to leave this accursed country
While I had the chance
And seek my fortunes elsewhere
A mistake I may probably regret
For the rest of my life
Anyway, as Arabella Figg once said
"There's no good crying over spilt potion"
I was a fool to listen to you
But I have progressed in life
Far more than you would've expected me
And not because of you
But in spite of you
Well, I would love to meet you one of these days
And prove to you
That verbal communication is overrated
Just like you yourselves are
We autistic people can do equally well, if not better
As compared to you neurotypicals
Who are obsessed with correcting others
Well, please look into the mirror
And just leave us alone
Worse than an enemy, is an NT with a saviour complex
Well, we can see right through you
You may think you are being kind and empathetic
However, in reality, you are just a bunch of condescending wankers
Who believe they are always right
Well, there is nothing wrong in having your own views
Just try not to force them down our throats
I will end on this note
Autistic people are human beings too
It is time you learned to appreciate that
A message to everyone who told me to improve my verbal communication and body language - teachers, mentors, classmates etc.
Ashwin Kumar Nov 2022
It is easy to talk about motivation
Nowadays almost everyone does it
In fact, being a motivational speaker
Has become a quite lucrative profession
However, actually motivating yourself
Is easier said than done
You may think I am being negative
Be my guest
I would rather be a pessimist
And thus risk being called a negative person
Than take a step
Into the pool of toxic positivity
Which is so deep
That even the Pacific Ocean
Can't hold a candle to it
Every time you raise an issue
It is brushed aside
With a mere flick of the wrist
As though it were a pesky fly
Buzzing around the dinner table
Whatever you're going through
Means nothing, absolutely nothing
To these motivation experts
Who keep gaslighting you at will
Until you forget that you even exist
These people brainwash the public
To believe that no one really has a problem
And that all problems are self-created
However, the reality is vastly different
Everyone has a problem
Or rather, a condition
Autism, ADHD, Down's Syndrome
Bipolar Disorder, OCD, PTSD
Selective Mutism, Paranoia, Depression
And I can go on and on
Of course, it varies by degree
From mild to severe
And from person to person
Nevertheless, a condition is a condition
And has to be acknowledged by everyone
Including these so-called motivation experts
Mental Health is indeed a serious issue
Especially in our country
And it is a real shame
That it has taken the suicide of a celebrity
For people to understand its significance
Of course, not everyone may suffer to that extent
So as to take such extreme steps
Instead, someone may lose his job
Another may be dumped by her boyfriend
Nevertheless, a suffering is a suffering
Even if the society doesn't consider it serious enough
As my therapist would say
When your brain chemicals function differently
As compared to those of the people around you
Motivating yourself is easier said than done
Especially in a country like India
Where the support system
For people suffering from mental health issues
Is still a work in progress
Ashwin Kumar Apr 2023
It has often been said
That true love doesn't exist
But that doesn't stop me from dreaming
After all, I am a romantic
And it's not like I believe in true love
Only because I've read about it in books
Or seen it happen in movies and TV shows
In fact, I've experienced it myself
Not once, but twice
On the first occasion, I was young and naive
Enjoying life to its fullest
And when the love bug bit me
It was one of my happiest moments
I looked forward to every single day
And for the first time in many years
I actually made a concerted effort
To excel in academics
However, to cut a long story short
I missed the bus by a mile
When it came to confessing my feelings
Right, let's come to the second occasion
Technically, it was an arranged marriage
But for me, it was as good as a love marriage
Because, after our engagement
I grew so deeply attached to the girl
That I was blind
To all the red flags thrown at me
Every now and then
Again, to cut a long story short
It eventually ended in a divorce
However, as I've mentioned before
I have not lost hope yet
After all, time is still on my side
However, I need to draw a line somewhere
Firstly, being open and honest
Is an absolute must
I will tell you everything
But I expect the same from you as well
Secondly, I am looking for someone
Who is loyal till the very end
I will be with you
Through thick and thin
But if you cheat on me
Then it's over, once and for all
And finally
You need to accept me as I am
With my pros as well as cons
That includes understanding my autism
And the limitations it places on me
Especially as far as social interaction is concerned
Of course, it works both ways
I am not looking for a perfect person either
After all, if it's perfect
Then it's not true love
And one of the major reasons I still believe in true love
Is that it's full of imperfections
That's what makes it so endearing
And so human
Self-explanatory!!!
Ashwin Kumar Nov 17
My best friend are you, forever
Leave you will I, never
Unconditionally, have you always loved me
Never, have you not been there for me
When have I really needed it
Our relationship is nearly perfect!

My best friend are you, forever
Never can I forget our ride in my scooter
Thrilled were you, like a child
The memory was absolute gold
Truly, do I love you as a friend
In fact, are you actually a family friend!!

My best friend are you, forever
Rarely in you, have I seen anger
Extremely thankful am I, for your sheer patience
Again seldom, have I seen you tense
Certainly, are you the definition of "uber cool"
And almost never are you dull!!

My best friend are you, forever
Not valuable has been your advice, never
Almost always, are you caring and sweet
Yet sometimes, quite strict
And sounding like my mother
Though, actually are my unofficial sister!!

My best friend are you, forever
For you, a lot do I care
Sometimes, have I not given you enough space
Sending message after message
At other times, have I bored you
Or demanded a bit too much from you
For all these, would I dearly love to say sorry
I won't repeat it, don't worry!!

My best friend are you, forever
Your mother is nearly like my mother
Love and affection oozing from every bone of hers
Not to mention, are you and Pradeep amongst the cutest couples ever
And he is a good friend
Grateful am I to him, to no end
For encouraging our relationship
It is indeed a beautiful friendship
May God bless you, dear sister
Have good fun and take care
Here's hoping we meet again soon
In the meantime, may you shine like the moon!!
Poem dedicated to Shruti, my no.1 friend in the universe!!!
Ashwin Kumar Sep 5
You are the reason I smile
Every time I happen to fail
Because, when I think about you
I know all hope isn't lost yet
And I can even beat the worst ever Monday blues
Your never-say-die spirit is tough to beat
Even when it comes to someone like Rahul Gandhi
It's what makes you such an awesome poet
Not to mention, a bestselling novelist
A truly intersectional feminist
And last but not the least
One of the fiercest anti-caste activists
Of course, I know you haven't even properly met me
However, you have made an impact upon me
Which is utterly impossible to forget
Really, I have to admit
You have made me think more positively
And act more independently
Which has done wonders for my mental health
Also, have you taught me to keep up the faith
Even when I have been at my nadir
Therefore, is it no wonder
That you are an inspiration to one and all
Thanks to you, even when we fall
We know how to rise again
And smile through our pain
You are a powerful voice of change
In a country that is thoroughly resistant to change
You speak what most of us are afraid to speak
And inspire even the meek
You call a ***** a *****
Your keyboard is the sharpest blade
Finally, you awaken those who are asleep
And give a red alert to those who are merely pretending to sleep
You know, whenever you enter my mind
I feel a quiet but fierce pride
Certainly, has God been kind
To present me with the opportunity
Indeed, a very very special opportunity
To come across such an incredible human being
Without whom, am I nothing!
May the Lord bless you with everything
Which you deeply crave for
Dear Comrade, please keep fighting and do take care
Jai Bhim!! Vaazhga Periyar!!
Dedicated to none other than Dr. Meena Kandasamy - the award-winning author, poet, translator, academic, intersectional feminist and anti-caste activist!!!
Ashwin Kumar Aug 2023
You were my neighbour
And I felt good vibes from you
Right from the start
We soon became good friends
And as the years passed by, our bond strengthened
Now, I see you as not just a friend
But also a family member
You are very simple and humble
Not to mention, loyal to a fault
However, underneath your calm exterior
Lies a burning passion
Especially when it comes to gaming and Hindu mythologies
The best part about you
Is that you always want to do the right thing
Even if it means losing friends in the process
Of course, as I told you recently
Those people are not truly friends
But haters in disguise
You are also extremely selfless
A quality that makes you very likeable
And at the same time, vulnerable
Anyway, as I said before
You are as good as a family member to me
And your family also sees me
As one of its own
Our phone conversations are usually very long
And I love how you take time out for me
Right in the middle of your busy schedule
I feel I can trust you
With anything and everything
Just remain the way you are
And believe in yourself a little more
Take care and see you soon da!
Poem dedicated to Rahul, one of my closest friends.
Ashwin Kumar Aug 27
Whenever you enter my thoughts
A fire begins to burn fiercely in my heart
Destroying everything in its path
Except any positive thoughts
And from my mind, emerges a voice
Saying "You can do it
And you WILL do it!"
Whenever something seems amiss
I think of your struggles
And gradually, do I find myself more capable
Of achieving every task that is set before me
A Harry Houdini, you may not be
However, an inspiration are you, for sure
Because, so much do you care
About righting all the wrongs in our society
Casteism, Hindutva, Islamophobia, gender inequality
Determined are you, to fight hard for social justice
Even if you end up paying a huge price
I consider myself an extremely lucky person
To know such a lovely human being like you
Who talks not through words but actions
Though you are a very loving partner and mother
Rarely, do you showcase your affection and care
Your sheer nerve and bravery would make Godric Gryffindor proud
Your patience, dedication, loyalty and sense of justice would make Helga Hufflepuff proud
Your sharp wit and natural curiosity would make Rowena Ravenclaw proud
And finally
Your sheer ambition, determination and resourcefulness would make Salazar Slytherin proud
Always, will you be my primary motivator
Keep rocking, keep fighting and do take care
May the Almighty bless you forever!!
My 20th poem about the famous novelist, poetess, translator, academic, intersectional feminist and anti-caste activist Dr. Meena Kandasamy!!!
Ashwin Kumar Jan 2022
I have been yearning for true love
For years and years
For decades and decades
I have seen it in movies
I have read it in books
But to experience it in real life
Is a different feeling altogether
Of course, when you have lived
For as long as thirty two years
It is utterly impossible
Not to fall in love
At least once, or maybe even twice
And I am not even counting crushes
They are as ephemeral
As the life of a mayfly is
The love bug has bitten me twice
However, on both occasions
The love has been more lop-sided
Than the recent Men's Ashes
On the first occasion
I was slower than a snail
By the time I finally confessed my feelings
The girl was already engaged
On the second occasion
It was an arranged marriage
After two initial meetings
Followed by two months
Full of frequent phone calls
We had a rather simple engagement
Since then, it was apparent
That the going was smooth
Even if it was a long-distance relationship
However, just before the wedding
The pandemic chose to strike
The marriage had to be postponed
By five frigging months
Consequently, things were never the same again
Mind you, I was very much in love
But, as I mentioned earlier
It was a long-distance relationship
And I could sense
That slowly, but surely
The girl was beginning to fade away
And the marriage, when it eventually happened
Was an absolute trainwreck
Now, a year and a half later
I am single again
And the quest for true love continues
This time, I hope and pray
That when I do fall in love again
It will be duly reciprocated
And will be as long-lasting
As the love
That my family has for me
Ashwin Kumar Feb 2023
After working hard for hours and hours
Days and days
Weeks and weeks
And months and months
One would have thought
That I deserved a break
Of course, a short one
But a break nevertheless
However, I was in for a rude shock
Instead of being given a break
I was assigned to a new project
And a huge one at that
Involving oodles of intense research
Followed by a truckload of calls
In order to extract critical information
From a bunch of highly reticent people
And finally
Drawing an extremely complicated chart
Yes, I'd done all this before
But that was nearly a year ago
And going through the same process, all over again
Was always going to be a herculean task
But hey, I was not going to give up that easily
That too right at the beginning of the project
So, I sat to work in right earnest
However, after a few hours of hard research
My head was spinning
And my eyes were burning
Thus, it was a relief to leave the office
However, there was still the small matter
Of commuting back to my home
By the dreaded Mumbai locals
I was squeezed so thoroughly
That, by the time I finally managed to reach home
All I wanted, was to crash on my bed
And sleep; for a long, long time
But hey, I decided to write this poem instead
In order to record my thoughts
And more importantly, provide an outlet
For all those bottled up feelings
So that, by the time the next day arrived
I would wake up with my batteries recharged overnight
Ready to tackle the monumental task in front of me
After all, as the oft-repeated cliche goes
It is better to try and fail
Than not try at all
Poem I decided to write on starting a massive research project that involves finding the organisation structure of a US-based MNC.
Ashwin Kumar Jan 13
My tongue is on fire
And stuck am I, in a mire
Dangling like a carrot
And waiting to be devoured
Is some rather delicious food
Unfortunately, I am not in the mood
Because, every time I take a bite
My ******* tongue puts up a humungous fight
Locking me up in a torture chamber
And thus filling me with loads of anger
How dare you do this to me, O darned tongue?
Do you think I am a piece of dung?

My tongue is on fire
And it does not care
How hungry I am
Serious, it gives not a ****
Set before me, is a mouthwatering meal
However, becoming am I, rather dull
As I struggle and struggle
My tongue pulling me into deep trouble
Slowly, do I begin to think
That, desperately do I need a drink
Thus, do I consume an entire bottle of water
However, just as I begin to feel better
That infernal tongue throws tantrum after tantrum
Thus spelling my doom
Predictably, coming to my rescue is a sweet
Dear Diabetes, soon we may meet!

My tongue is on fire
However, beginning am I, to fight
Because, I give up not, so easily
And I DO take the doctor's advice seriously
However, my tongue ends up having the last laugh
Since all those medicines are apparently not enough
To prevent me from being forced
To make a few sacrifices
When it cometh to food
Which again spoils my mood
Moreover, just when the situation seems to be getting back to normal
Dinner turns out to be quite the ordeal
Not for the first time
And definitely not the last
I even wonder if I should fast!!

My tongue is on fire
However, as mentioned before
Never do I give up easily
Dear tongue, for now you may smile nastily
However, soon will the tables be turned
And then YOU are gonna be doomed
Enjoy your time while it lasts
And NO, I will NOT fast
No matter how many tricks you may have up your sleeve
Victory you are not gonna achieve
Never again!!
Poem I decided to write after developing an extremely bothersome tongue ulcer.
Ashwin Kumar Nov 2023
Need I, to change myself?
Well, the question is easy not
Because what doth change exactly mean?
Need I, to change my behaviour?
Depends does it, on the situation
However, were you to ask me to change
Something that hath been a part of me
For years and years
The answer shall a resounding no be
Because, were I to change my nature
Then Ashwin I shall be no longer!!

Need I, to change myself?
Well, when it comest to anger management
Change I can, certainly
Of course, it is but something
Already am I working on
And I boast not
But strides, have I already made
Thus, am I on the right track

Need I, to change myself?
Well, when it comest to self-belief
Agree we all should
That this is but something
Which I need to work on
Because, currently drowning am I
In a pool of insecurities
Some of them being self-created
But yes, working on it am I
Through therapy and reading the gospel everyday
And of course, penning poems like this!!

Need I, to change myself?
Well, when it comest to certain painful incidents in the past
Do well I certainly could
To make an earnest effort
Towards forgiving and forgetting
Not because those people deserve it
But for my own inner peace
As have said repeatedly
All those dear to me

Need I, to change myself?
Well, were there something
Which I am happy with not
Then yes, may some tweak be needed
Because, as said a very dear cousin sister of mine
Change is but something
Which would keep me happy and protected

Need I, to change myself?
Well, when it comest to my character
Once again, the answer shall a resounding no be
Of course, a few behaviours here and there
Can altered be, if required
But then, doth it apply to everyone
And most importantly
Believe in myself, I must
No matter what
Again the words of my dear cousin
Amen!
Self-explanatory!!
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