I guess I have to accept the fact that one day you'll kiss different lips. I guess I have to accept that one day, you'll meet someone new and I will fade from your mind. You'll unfollow me on Instagram, or some petty **** like that, and at that time, I'll know that you have forgotten about me. I know I should move on. I won't lie. I've kissed other men, but none compare to you. They don't care like you did. They don't ask me what my favorite pizza is or where my parents grew up. They don't ask me what I think about love or if I ate today. The good morning texts are now long gone and I just want things to go back to the way they were. I'm sorry if I rushed things. I'm new to this whole single life and to be honest, life was so mundane before you entered into it. You became a gleam of hope and a ray of sunshine on my soft pale skin. Thank you for showing me what happiness is and can be. It was short-lived, but I will always remember you. I will always have a special place in my heart just for you. You created such high expectations for the next guy, that I am afraid I won't find anyone to meet them.
I wish it was you. I would've waited. I am patient. That's not putting my life on hold; you were worth it. I want to apologize for words that may have upset you or pushed too far. I want to stop crying. I want to get you off my mind. I don't know how. Can you tell me how you did it? Can you tell me how to move on like you did? Can you honestly say my name and see my face, and not feel an ounce of pain? I was falling for you. You kissed me and I felt electricity. You will always be the one that got away. It's true. You made me feel so beautiful.
I wish you so much happiness. You deserve the best. Please never settle. Find someone who loves everything about you. Find someone who supports your work and pushes you to do better. Find someone who has your sense of humor. Find someone who loves you just the way you are. I want that for you-more than anything, even if it can't be me. Find someone, that when you kiss her, you forget I even existed.
I'm forgetting what your voice sounds like and I miss your laugh the most. I still think about you before bed and when I wake. The sun doesn't seem so lovely to me right now. I don't smile on the drive to work anymore. It's not your fault. We met at the wrong time. You were always very open and honest with me. I'm just mad I guess. I'm mad at myself for allowing my heart to fall so deep.
A letter I'll never send.