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1.1k · Jan 2018
Angel with Some Devil
Stewie Jan 2018
I want to be the one who drives you insane.
Late night, cigarette smoke, kiss me and don't let me go.
Drive me to where I can see the stars and infinite galaxies.

***** on my breath and you're the only one who can make me tick.
I want to get under you skin like you get under mine.
I want to slow dance in the dark to the static of an A.M. radio.

I want to be lovers and friends.
I want to know what you look like when the sun kisses your face in the early morning.
I want to know what you look like when you cry

I want to see your face and your lips when you whisper, "I love you".
I want you to remind me who is always in charge as you slightly graze my throat with your hand-
And I let a Cheshire smile slowly appear on my face.
I want a dangerous love.
1.0k · Aug 2018
Childless
Stewie Aug 2018
People who have kids always try to make it a point to let you know:

A. They have kids.
B. You don’t have kids.
C. Your opinion doesn’t matter because you don’t have kids.


My heart breaks into two and my mouth does that odd thing where I try to smile to hide my tears, but it quivers and I feel previously open parts of my soul shut down.

I am aware everyday of my 30 year old existence that I don’t have kids. I am aware that while I was in college making straight A’s, my friends were building connections with lovers, purchasing homes, having families.

Now I am left in an unfit despair of nothingness and quiet mornings. Empty nights full of Netflix and crying. Hugging my cat when the human touch is lost.

I suppose people don’t know the words they say can sting like daggers. Suppose, maybe they do.
909 · Dec 2017
Human contact
Stewie Dec 2017
He kisses me.
Our alcohol mouths intertwined.
Our cigarettes long burned, with ash trailing as long as the city lights that you walk me home under.
I open my eyes, and he isn’t you.
Will my whole life consist of kissing complete strangers so I can find you again?

He pulls me in close and holds me.
If only he knew, that’s all I want.
I have this longing to be held.
By anyone, really.
I don’t want them to talk.
I don’t want them to look me in the eyes.
Because I’ll cry and I don’t want to cry.
Just keep holding me.
Please.
I know he will never be you, but in this moment, with my head buried on his chest, I can pretend.
748 · Aug 2019
I want it, I got it
Stewie Aug 2019
When I first kissed you, I saw stars
It was like something I’ve never felt before
I wanted more…
So I kept climbing deeper into your universe
I let your brain waves intercept mine
I became intertwined with your neurons and synapses
The way you snapped into my pelvis like a puzzle piece
Made me want to know why I was ever sad before you
You fingers delicately bounce off each vertebra in my spine
Making me crave the wisdom in your eyes and the words in your mouth
You are my world
A man that opens your eyes to other galaxies
557 · Dec 2017
broke.
Stewie Dec 2017
There’s something beautifully romantic about tragic love.
I don’t understand why people say that two broken people can’t build a content home.
I search for people who have broken pieces like me,


                                    And I found that in you.

Two lonely people can be alone together.
Two broken people can be broken together.
You make me feel like home in this desolate conservative town.
546 · Aug 2019
Come Closer
Stewie Aug 2019
Sometimes it’s hard for me to find the words to say


I build up my wall and it tends to last all day


But when you caress me with your sweet soft hands


There is nowhere else on this planet I’d rather land


Because at the end of the day, you are my best friend


I promise to tell you my secrets until the end
he is my lover and best friend
Stewie Feb 13
I want too much attention
All of the time
It’s a character flaw, I know
I want to be constantly touched
Words of love to spill off your tongue
I want to feel appreciated
Like you have waited for me your whole life
Why is that a burden?
Appreciation at its finest.
355 · Dec 2017
Fresh Face
Stewie Dec 2017
Love always seems to find you when you're least expecting it.
I met a boy and he makes me feel so beautiful.
I am not afraid to be around him without makeup on, and that means somethin'.
Finding beauty in disaster
352 · Sep 2018
It's refreshing
Stewie Sep 2018
You always told me that one day I would find a boyfriend in Florida.
It's funny to reminisce and see how you always had one foot out of the door and silly me, I just couldn't see it. I thought when you said that, you wanted me to beg for you and tell you that you were the only one I wanted. Well guess what? I have found someone who lives under the sweet hot sun of Florida, and he fulfills me more than you ever did.
347 · Dec 2017
Botox
Stewie Dec 2017
The lines on my face tell a story of no sleep and cigarettes.
Too much alcohol and too little water.
Not enough food and not enough care.
The lines by my eyes tell a story of crying after you left.
Laughing when you were here.
Squinting at the words you said when you said goodbye.
I can't erase them.
346 · Jan 2018
3 Words
Stewie Jan 2018
I'm afraid to say those three words,
it's not what you expect.
I don't want them to lose their meaning,
so I try and change the subject.

I think about you all the time,
you're always on my mind.
I think I'm falling for you boy,
you've got my heart in a bind.

The way you shift your car in gears,
how you smoke your cigarette...
The way you say my name,
puts me in a sweat.


I. Miss. You.
I don't want to overuse "I miss you"
344 · Apr 2018
Previous Women
Stewie Apr 2018
I don’t have to question why previous women fell for him
He is kind and gentle, dominant when needed, a head full of knowledge ready to tip at any moment
The words that linger off his tongue infiltrate my mind and carry me away to unknown galaxies filled of wisdom and smoke-filled lungs.
The way he sits between my thighs, glazed-over eyes, watching me melt
I can sense the hurt that he has endured before me and all I want to do is show this beautiful being that I will not do the same to him.
His tongue is magic, in more ways than one
339 · Dec 2017
My Heart is in Tampa Bay
Stewie Dec 2017
Almost a year in this new city and things are still new to me.
I don't like it here.
I think about home quite often; the way the city lights of downtown trickled upon my face as I sped up in my car.
The bass of a song vibrating my body as I swerve under the bridge and onto the interstate.
The smell of the air as the heat rises off the pavement on a hot summer day.
The hug of my mother as the scent of Chanel perfume stains my clothes.
The laugh of my father as he tells a "dad" joke.

I'll be home soon.
You can't really appreciate home, until you leave.
337 · Apr 2018
Wave of Joy
Stewie Apr 2018
I hope you're doing well.
I want you to find happiness.
335 · Dec 2017
You Are Alone
Stewie Dec 2017
I am alone. A plethora of people will tell you that it’s impossible to actually be alone and that it’s just an emotion that passes with time. In all actuality, I am alone. I am alone in a town full of hopeless dreams and run down buildings. Where wrinkles encompass the faces of people who have traveled around the sun way more times than me. I am alone in an apartment in which the only communication I hear are my neighbors fighting next door or awkward shower singing through the shallow walls. I am alone at a job where I am ridiculed daily for my education, my gender, and my divorce. I don’t ask for anyone’s sorrow or empathy. I’m quite ok being alone because there is no one here for me to answer to. When I let the dishes crowd up in the minuscule sink. When I stay up late and read books on the balcony, flicking ash into the night wind. When I spread my feet and take up the whole bed while watching mindless television that floods my brain. I know one day, I will find that spark that will share in my life and dreams, but not today, and yes...


that.
is.
ok.
It's ok to not be ok.
328 · Apr 2018
Drunk Love
Stewie Apr 2018
He’s drunk.



...but the way he stares at me with his black eyes, shows me that he truly adores me. I know he would do anything for me and to me. I crave the heat from his body as I fall asleep to his tempered breath. The moon peers from the outside, embracing us in his cool-colored waves. I place my head on his chest as he wraps his brown arms around my skin-hearts beating opposite melodies among the darkness. He awakens and pulls himself on top of me. This is my favorite position and he knows it. He is the only man in this lifetime that knows the touches I crave. I won’t let him pull away, and it is love we will make.
late night drunken sessions
322 · Jan 2018
Impending Death
Stewie Jan 2018
In 2017,  I wanted to die.
I wanted to know what it felt like to lose my breath, and never gain it back.
I wanted to know what it felt like to drift into an infinite sleep.

In 2017, I wanted to die.
I didn't eat or drink water in hopes of withering away.
I didn't sleep in hopes of crashing my car on the interstate.

In 2017, I wanted to die.
I cried until my body could no longer produce tears.
I cried until my head hurt.

In 2018, I want to live.
I feel the sunshine peeking from behind the clouds.
I feel like it's finally my time to know what happiness feels like.
It is truly a new year, a new me.
320 · Jan 2019
No Point In Trying
Stewie Jan 2019
I just want to hit something or someone.
I don’t want to stop until my fingers are bleeding.
I want to hurt him like how he hurt me.
I want him to feel the pain he caused.
I want him to suffer.    


I locked myself in the bedroom and he punched a hole in the door. I wanted to *** myself because I was so scared and for what ever reason, I couldnt stop shaking. I stayed in the room until he went downstairs and I ran to my car. He stood behind me and acted as if I wouldn’t hit him. But I wanted to. I knew that if I ran him over, the suffering would be over. The abuse would end-but I didn’t.
Because you can’t make a narcissist feel anything.
316 · Dec 2017
Unsent Letter
Stewie Dec 2017
Dear You,

I guess I have to accept the fact that one day you'll kiss different lips. I guess I have to accept that one day, you'll meet someone new and I will fade from your mind. You'll unfollow me on Instagram, or some petty **** like that, and at that time, I'll know that you have forgotten about me. I know I should move on. I won't lie. I've kissed other men, but none compare to you. They don't care like you did. They don't ask me what my favorite pizza is or where my parents grew up. They don't ask me what I think about love or if I ate today. The good morning texts are now long gone and I just want things to go back to the way they were.  I'm sorry if I rushed things. I'm new to this whole single life and to be honest, life was so mundane before you entered into it. You became a gleam of hope and a ray of sunshine on my soft pale skin. Thank you for showing me what happiness is and can be. It was short-lived, but I will always remember you. I will always have a special place in my heart just for you. You created such high expectations for the next guy, that I am afraid I won't find anyone to meet them.
I wish it was you. I would've waited. I am patient. That's not putting my life on hold; you were worth it. I want to apologize for words that may have upset you or pushed too far. I want to stop crying. I want to get you off my mind. I don't know how. Can you tell me how you did it? Can you tell me how to move on like you did? Can you honestly say my name and see my face, and not feel an ounce of pain? I was falling for you. You kissed me and I felt electricity. You will always be the one that got away. It's true. You made me feel so beautiful.
I wish you so much happiness. You deserve the best. Please never settle. Find someone who loves everything about you. Find someone who supports your work and pushes you to do better. Find someone who has your sense of humor. Find someone who loves you just the way you are. I want that for you-more than anything, even if it can't be me. Find someone, that when you kiss her, you forget I even existed.
I'm forgetting what your voice sounds like and I miss your laugh the most. I still think about you before bed and when I wake. The sun doesn't seem so lovely to me right now. I don't smile on the drive to work anymore. It's not your fault. We met at the wrong time. You were always very open and honest with me. I'm just mad I guess. I'm mad at myself for allowing my heart to fall so deep.


And
I'm
Sorry.


Love,
Ash **
A letter I'll never send.
313 · Dec 2017
Super Moon
Stewie Dec 2017
I stare at the moon and he knows me so well.
Upon my balcony, he has seen me cry, laugh, smile, and smoke.
He never judges me. He just patiently watches me every night and hopes that I find my way.
He tries to guide me and I try to listen to his advice.
From where he sits, he can see my future, but from where I sit, I see nothing.
I try to embrace his lunar vibes and soak them into my bright blue veins.
Life is so hard- I sulk and whisper to the moon
I know, he says, but better things are in store for you my sweet girl.
Everything you have gone through was meant to build you stronger. You will attract all of the things you want if you just believe in me and hold my hand.
I’m scared but I know I am not alone when he is in the night sky. He is my best friend. He is my confidant. He is my protector. He knows things about me. I spill my secrets onto the wind, that guide my dark tales to the stars, and it’s the stars that deliver my message amongst the star dust to the moon.

Don’t worry, he says. I will take care of you.
310 · Dec 2017
A Slow Death
Stewie Dec 2017
I walk onto the dark balcony and feel the warm Florida air hug me like an old friend. I creep over to the edge and look down. Fear sets in. It’s late. But I text my best guy friend back home and ask him if he thinks I’ll die from four stories up if I decide to jump. Without missing a beat he writes back and says I may survive the fall. With that information in tow, I sit back in my Tommy Bahama beach chair and **** my self slowly, by lighting a Marlboro Light.
308 · Nov 2018
Roses
Stewie Nov 2018
He takes me on
New
       Adventures
             Under
The moon.
308 · Dec 2017
We. Are. Done.
Stewie Dec 2017
You're no longer the first thing I think about in the morning.
You're no longer the last thing I think about when I go to sleep.
He has replaced you.

He makes me feel things I never felt with you.
He is there when I need him, unlike you.
He touches my skin and explores my soul, unlike you.
He has patience.

Now that time has passed, I am not even sure why I fell for you so hard. You were selfish and had low self-esteem. I know those words are cruel, but I deserve the best, you know?

When he pushes me up against the wall of the elevator, with his hand resting on my throat, you don't cross my mind, because he is the only one I want to kiss.
I've moved on from you and it's the most wonderful thing.
298 · Apr 2018
New Age
Stewie Apr 2018
There will be a day, in which you meet a man who makes you whole again.
He will make you believe in magic
He won’t stray to another woman’s thighs
There will be a day, in which this man will cry tears with you
You will begin to wonder why you swore off love before him
He will redefine ‘the one’ all over again
papi
298 · Aug 2019
Repeat after me
Stewie Aug 2019
You are my mirror image
Which is why you make me so angry sometimes
We push and fight
Yell and scream
I slam the door, you hit the wall
Tension rises in the air like heat off the asphalt.

You spit venom at me
Your words hurt the most
I cry, you walk away
I crumble on the floor while you toss your clothes


Is this what we have become?


I convince you to come to bed
You grab my skin
&we **** the night away


Sleep.
Wake.
   Fight.
     ****.
       Repeat.
I rather fight with you than anyone else.
289 · Mar 2018
Summer is Coming
Stewie Mar 2018
The Florida sun burns my skin as I drive with the windows down.
The wind curls and whips around my short hair and tickles the bumps on my arms..
The clouds sway back and forth unaware of the direction.
And then there's me.












A woman who has gained back her confidence.
Stewie Dec 2017
A parade of happy loving people pass me by on the street.
They notice my tears but keep going on as if I’m just a passerby amongst them.
I’m screaming. Please. Anyone help me.
How I long to be apart of their smiling faces going on as if the world isn’t full of angst, grief, and morbidity.
Anxiety creeps into my brain synapses like an old friend and I can’t breathe. I grasp my neck and close my eyes.
This must be how I die, I think to myself.
Will my parents be ok? What about my friends? Who will take care of my cat?
As the anxiety sneaks away like a thief in the night, I relax.
Who can I call?
Who will listen?
My palms sweat and my mind turns to the deepest darkest thoughts.
My mind is not a good place to be alone.
It’s the equivalent of a child walking home in the woods in the middle of the night; it’s frightening, lonely, and makes you want to run.
But where to?
I’m looking for a hand. A voice. Someone to tell me: ITS GOING TO BE OK, ASH.
But no one hears me.
People from the parade begin to disperse into various shops, ordering their coffees, trying on new shoes, while I come to my senses in my front seat at the grocery store, unable to get out of my car.
-the daily life of depression and anxiety.
270 · Jan 2018
Running Child
Stewie Jan 2018
I was born to run free.
I cannot be caged under your gaze or your hands.
I long for the summer breeze to blow through my short hair.
Walking through the woods in my bare feet
I long for a man who can handle my wild nature and spirit.
A man who is not intimidated by a woman with a large heart
A man who does not have the intent of holding me back
I want to find someone I can grow with.
Someone to go on adventures with
Someone who I can fall asleep with
Someone who I can travel the world with
I want a man who doesn't grow green with envy or jealousy.
I want to intertwine with his spirit and grow into the skies as one.
I am a floating spirit, born to fly.
267 · Mar 2018
The Moon is Different
Stewie Mar 2018
Tonight I looked up at the moon and something is different.
I have changed.
Last year, the moon was the only one who could console my crying tears and shivering bones.
The moon hugged me in his embrace and whispered words of affirmation into my delicate ears.
The moon knew my life path before I even did and that is exactly why he was so calm while I was falling apart.
Looking up at the moon now and emotions raid my skin.
I am happy, I am where I need to be.
The moon stares back at me and says, "I knew this all along..."
He is always with me, in the still of the night
263 · Dec 2019
sometimes
Stewie Dec 2019
Sometimes I think I’ll always be sad
I often wonder how people seem so happy
Sometimes I think I’ll always cry when I’m hurt
I often wonder how people hold back tears
Sometimes I think I’ll always be shy
I often wonder how people start conversations
Sometimes I think I’ll always be sensitive
I often wonder how people don’t get offended
Sometimes I think I’m hard to love
I often wonder how others just go with the flow
Stewie May 23
I am beautiful.
I am bold.
My face will always show what my mouth can’t say.
I’m quiet and introverted.
I shy away from attention.
I’m ****.
I am fierce.
I dance like nobody is watching.
I march to the beat of my own drum.
Boy, can I cry.
I feel everything and everyone around me.
I am a sponge of emotion.
I am smart.
I am quick minded and witty.
And my sense of humor can light up a room.
I am a great listener until I’m not.
I care an awful lot.
I’m stubborn.
I’m always right.
I know everything better than everyone.
I am rich both in my heart and in my brain.
I love harder than anyone I’ve known.
I am a boss *** woman.
I can catch on quicker than my counterparts.
I sleep too long.
I love God.
I am worthy of happiness.
I have a mothering nature.
I am kind.
I am compassionate.
I am a shooting star.

        Full of light. Full of rage. Full of passion.
Ashley in a nut shell but don’t blink too quick, or I’m gone.
253 · Nov 2017
Don't Call Me Beautiful
Stewie Nov 2017
All the men,
they call me beautiful.
In their minds,
they think they are doing me a service.
I wish they knew,
that I wish to be called something more.
Penetrate my mind and my soul
and then I will let you penetrate my body.
I am simple.


-Don’t call me beautiful
253 · Oct 2019
Ice
Stewie Oct 2019
Ice
He put his arm around me at the hockey game.
As we sat, he played with my long hair that grazed his hand.
In that moment, I felt like I was all his and he wanted nothing more...
than
to
give
me
all
of
his
attention.
I want attention.
250 · Jan 2018
I'm Coming
Stewie Jan 2018
Home.

One day, I'll be coming home.
237 · Apr 2018
a lonely hotel.
Stewie Apr 2018
sometimes, it's ok to turn off all the lights in your hotel room. you draw the curtains open and allow the twinkling lights from the tall city buildings to sprinkle your skin. an overwhelming, yet familiar feeling creeps into your soul like a slow-moving fog. ah, this is called loneliness my dear. instead of being afraid, grab the hand that loneliness embraces you with and dance. allow the passerby's among the roads below to witness a beautiful being embracing the night and proving that sometimes, it's ok to be lonely.
You can be lonely.
233 · Apr 2018
Tattoos R 4ever
Stewie Apr 2018
I get tattoos because there is something about the blood that spills from my skin and the immense pain I feel from the needle. The way the tattoo artist uses their hands and whole body to permanently stain my body forever. It's quite neurotic, the sound the tattoo gun makes, that turns me on in a way I can't describe.
232 · Jun 2018
The one who roams broken
Stewie Jun 2018
I blow up, looking for some sort of response that shows that my tantrum wasn't born for nothing. I don't know why I allow the poison to rip off my skin and expose my vulnerabilities and insecurities. I am trying to give him an excuse to run for the hills. Maybe if I act insane enough, he won't need to look for a reason to escape. But, he stays. Because we are both ****** up and broken. I want to inhale his scent for the rest of our broken ******-up lives.
Two broken people CAN and WILL thrive.
225 · Dec 2017
The Traveling Man
Stewie Dec 2017
It’s nights like this, that I wonder where you are.

What city are you in?
How are you?
Are you ok?
Are you cold?
Are you tired of the view out of your window?
Did you sleep well?
Have you eaten today?
Did you drink enough water?
Did you cry today?

Your image has permeated itself into a part of my brain that can’t seem to collect dust. Because I open that image everyday and rehash the same pain all over again.

Why do I do this to myself?

I count the stars in the sky in hopes that it confuses my overacting brain to think about something else. When all I want do is spend my last paycheck and fly to wherever you are and hold you.

I try to shut the voice in my head up, but even that voice, misses you too.
Impulse
220 · Jan 2018
Young Love
Stewie Jan 2018
I was 16. You were 18.
I was on top. You were on bottom.
The kind of love that is unbreakable.
Skipping school to nap and eat late breakfast.
Kissing by the railroad tracks.
You were the only one who really loved my short hair.
Watching you put on your skinny jeans became my new obsession.
Always grabbing the small of my back while kissing me.

We fought as hard as we loved.
Manipulative arguments with hurtful undertones.
Breaking photo frames just to keep me near.
Running down the stairs, grabbing my wrists.
I fell against the wall as you pushed yourself on me.
Here we go, falling again.
I was too young to be dealing with this adult criteria.

That day, I went to your bathroom.
I came out as you sat on the edge of your bed.
My palms sweating, in my hand, a pregnancy test.
I began to cry.
I couldn't be a mother-I couldn't even care for myself.
He looked at me and grabbed my waist.
"You being pregnant wouldn't be the worst thing..."
I started falling for him yet again.
"You'd be a great mom, Ash."

Beep. Beep.

Negative.
The scariest moment of my life.
215 · Jun 2019
What do you expect?
Stewie Jun 2019
I don’t know why I always trust words.
Promises get broken.
Expectations fall to the wayside
Maybe that’s why I’m so independent,
Because I know if I do it myself,
I won’t break my own heart.
215 · Dec 2019
Til death do us part
Stewie Dec 2019
Even on my deathbed,

I will remember how you didn’t want to share what we had with the world.

I was a ***** little secret.
You’ve moved on and so have I.
215 · Dec 2017
Mother
Stewie Dec 2017
Today, the sun light rays tickled my face and I felt the warm light illuminate my soul. I closed my eyes and imagined the sun was my mother, wrapping me in her warmth and keeping me safe. It’s tiny moments like this that allow me to appreciate the fragility and beauty that is around me. Even though the sun only showed her face to me for a few brief minutes, it was a sign that happiness was to come. I smiled and waved as she snuck behind the fluffy clouds and in this moment, I felt like I was a child again.
-My mother is always around me
214 · Jan 2018
Musician
Stewie Jan 2018
After many weeks of holding it together and not thinking of you,
The unimaginable happened.
You crossed my mind and I had a complete breakdown.
I had cleared you from my head, from my phone,
But last night, I listened to your band and I couldn't breathe.
I forced myself to listen even though my hands begged me to hit stop.
I couldn't do it.
Your music was all I listened to for months.
212 · Jan 2019
The New Generation
Stewie Jan 2019
I don’t know where my anger comes from.
Ok

I lied

I do.

It comes from a man I knew before you who promised me a lifetime of stability. He used his slick words and false promises to guide my eyes elsewhere while he slithered around behind my back.
He once thought that buying me things would make me turn a blind eye to the promiscuity that was unfolding in the dark.

Men always thought I was complicated and hard to read. I don’t find myself so hard. All I crave is touch. The touch of a hand under the table on my leg. The caress of fingers on my face before sleep. A hug out of nowhere when it’s least expected.

I don’t want fancy things and expensive dinners. I don’t want diamond rings and new makeup. I want you to listen to me and touch me. Can’t you see? I’m a human who needs contact.

Why is that so hard?
206 · Dec 2017
Daily Reminders.
Stewie Dec 2017
I swear when I was walking today, the wind blew and I smelled your scent graze against my skin.
I stopped right where I was and cried.
It's like the universe was sending me my daily reminder that we are done and I am not yet over you.
I'll never forget the way you smell.
203 · Aug 2018
Happy Normal
Stewie Aug 2018
My best guy friend is getting a divorce.
Today he asked me if it’s normal to be happy and sad at the same time.
I felt a choke in my throat, my stomach sink.
What is happy?
Happy is my ******.
Everyday I am in search of happiness, that disappears into a vapor cloud when I try to embrace it.
Maybe I am always sad with a hint of happy.
I can’t remember the last time I was truly happy.
I have spurts every now and then,
When anxiety and doubt decides to take a break and give my mind a rest.
Death scares me and I think about it often.
How it will happen.
How my old skin will hang and I will no longer recognize my self in the mirror.
Losing my parents.
Saying goodbye to my cat.
How can anyone be happy when impending doom is right around the corner.
202 · Jan 2018
Levels
Stewie Jan 2018
Yes, I still think about you pushing me up against my car.
I mean, why wouldn't I?
At times I swear I can still smell your breath on my mouth.
It's the craziest getting lost, thinking about you.
It slowly becomes a crazy spiral of abnormalities of sorts.
You're a jagged edge stuck in my brain and if I pull you out,
I lose all sensation of what love actually is.
I am a lost mouse running through a maze, looking for any help along the way.
From your skinny jeans, to your jaw-
Your beard, to your menthol cigarettes-
To watching you drive away-
I'll gladly go through all of it, all over again.
Maybe one time, it will end differently.
You are someone I will miss until I am dead.
201 · Dec 2017
Intergalactic Road Trips
Stewie Dec 2017
It’s cold outside. Too cold to be considered a typical day in Florida. The night sky plays a familiar lullaby that surrounds my broken spirit and carries me home. The clouds are breaking apart into a pattern of transition and dissolution. I close my eyes and imagine my energy bouncing off the atmosphere of cosmic infernos and leading me to a new destination full of happiness and serene promises. The stars giggle at my naivety and shove me back towards the earth. I frown and try to grasp the Milky Way, but my hands frolic among nothingness and the moon light blinds my crying eyes. I begin to fall and images of regret and pain crowd my foggy brain. Not everything you see is what it seems, whispers The Moon.
Come back down to earth, please.
201 · Apr 2018
the dark-s-i-d-e
Stewie Apr 2018
i have a dark side to me that runs away when the sun comes out. it's sickening and dense as a foggy night sky. i don't know what people want from me as i'm careless and meticulous in the dangerous sense. it can be hard for people to catch up to me and once they do, they sink into me like quicksand. i laugh as they become covered in the licks i spit, as they cry out for my hand. you asked for this, for i cannot help you, as it gives me great pleasure to watch you squirm. there is something obliterating beautiful watching someone else crumble to pieces around you while you keep sane and they lose their mind. i make their hearts race as they die and i steal their soul. as they gasp for air, last words slip off their lips,


"i guess there is no getting over you."...
i tried to tell you.
201 · Nov 2017
I'm wEiRd
Stewie Nov 2017
Isn’t it funny how odd we can be?
As humans, we want to close our souls
like curtains on a window.
Only to show our true selves
in the hollows of the night
enclosed in our safety net.

Isn’t it funny how people will walk away?
Because they say you are too much
and you believe them.
You build this brick wall of defense
trying not to crack a smile
Because you rather someone love you
Than not at all.

You are a beautiful star
glowing in the ever-infinite galaxy.
Let your light shine, my sweet girl
because how dare someone love you
For only the normal parts.

You are a unique snowflake
Dance in the afterglow.
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