All those times I’ve tried Thinking that I’ve tried to hard or too little To please the people in my life I consider important
There is a thin line for what is too wrong or too right for the soul That invisible veil blended into the atmosphere
I’ve done it multiple times Felt as if I’ve given my all and still fell short to everyone else
They couldn’t read my mind though They didn’t know what they were putting me through Only I knew what was inside A black canvas with words scratched into it Self doubt Insecurities And pain They made me feel like a failure And since I’ve failed...what next? What do I do now?
Anger It was all I felt Not towards anyone but towards myself How stupid could I be to go through so much and follow the same path again Why did I still care about the opinion of people My tears were proof of self torture
A gloomy cloud frequently hanged over my head It showered me in black thoughts Soaked me in dangerous emotions They weighed me down with what if questions
I knew I would be fine though To end all of the turmoil I thought of a temporary fix One solution It was that little white bottle filled with little white pills I found great relief in the form of deep self medicated sleep
But I promise you now I’m doing much better I do consider what people think But I don’t allow those opinions to rule me I am my own person And I may fall short sometimes but nobody is perfect And I’m perfectly fine with that Because in the end nobody’s got me like I got me
Standing here idle as the rain washes my plans away Who can relate? Now the cold winds are getting chilly I'm slowly slipping into a regretful place. I thought I could escape unscathed but no, this is my fate. I thought I could move my pieces late Oh, what a dangerous game.
Procrastinating my actions only to get caught in a vicious state. The painful path was that I saw it coming a mile away Yet I held to my resolve not to emulate. As a result, I'm paying the prize in currency I had hoped not to pay.
Standing here now as I tell myself don't procrastinate.
Unseen, unheard, invisible. Sad, alone, miserable. Too late I have realised - these are just words. It is time I break my bounds, step into shoes that fit, Thank you to those my world who have lit. No more scared or scarred, ready for a new dawn, my positivity unbarred.
My 50th poem here on Hello Poetry! Coming back after long, ready for a new dawn...