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Tristan Brown Nov 2018
Childhood
     >Insert Tragedy<
2. Lost
3. Found...   Depression
4. Froze
5.Watched the world
     >Insert miracle maker<
6. Found Happiness
7. Watched Life
     >Insert real problem<
8. Found Boldness
9. Solved Problem
10. Live
Special thanks to my miracle maker
Tristan Brown Nov 2017
"It'll be alright"

I hate those words
In the times we say them
They are complete lies

You failed a test
"It'll be alright"
You broke your arm
"Don't worry, it'll be alright"
You're dog died
"It's okay, it'll be alright"
You're on your death bed
"It will all be alright"
The person you looked up to
The one that you wanted to proud of you
He died
Your mother
The one that was always there for you
Even when you didn't want her to be there
She died

"It'll be alright"

No, it is absolutely not alright
How could it be?
It can't be alright
These things, these people
They can't come back
No one can bring the dead to life

But what words should be said
Should we tell them the truth
Life won't be the same
They aren't ever coming back

No
So we all just lie
Because
"It'll be alright"
Tristan Brown Aug 2018
"One day you'll find someone like you."

"I hope not."
Recently recollected a conversation I had with my dearest friend. I never thought that she would be right, but I'm scared that she might be right after all.
Also, Finally Hit 50 POEMS!!! Thanks to everyone for all of the love and support!!! Looking forward to the next 50 and beyond.
Tristan Brown Oct 2018
Darkness has beauty.
Or light shining in the dark
has special beauty
Tristan Brown Oct 2017
Sometimes you need something more
Some type outside force

No not me
I'm not good enough
I am not the greatest of all healers

So sometimes you need something more
The one and only true outside force
All of your pain would be relieved
All you have to do is believe
I wrote this for a friend of mine. She struggles and I just can't help or heal her. So maybe if she would come to believe, all of her struggles would be relieved. Maybe she will see this and it will touch her. Maybe there is one of you out there that need see this more than her. I pray that maybe this is a start in the right direction.
Tristan Brown Sep 2018
Breathing reminds us
That we're Alive
But being Alive
Doesn't mean we're Living
Guys, I'm starting to work on my first book! This is my first little bit of work on it.
Tristan Brown Mar 2018
Being physically torn
Left a mental tear
And I have to hope
Both heal at the same rate
I found out what a panic attack is truly like when I tore my MCL.
Tristan Brown Jan 2018
When our darkest day comes
We must learn to adapt
So that one day
We will triumph once more
Tristan Brown Nov 2017
There cannot be white
Without black
There cannot be light
Without dark

There cannot be up
Without down
There cannot be happy
Without sad

There cannot be good
Without evil
And there cannot be right
Without wrong

One can't exist without the other
Someone has to make the sacrifice
So that there can be
Happy
Good
Right

So I am what is sad
I am what is evil

I am
Wrong

So maybe
Someone can be
Right
Tristan Brown Feb 2018
You've gone away
And my heart feels like
Hell just froze over

Our fire is gone
Without a trace
Why are you gone
Why didn't you stay

More than anything
I loved your warm embrace
But now you're gone

And I'm lost in winter
Lost
Without
You
It just kind of came together.
Tristan Brown Feb 2018
Damaged Hearts
From all but the Start
Eight years Old
And my heart was Stone

I'm seventeen Now
Where did life Go
I wish I Didn't
But sadly I Know

I was Weak
The last I needed to Be
It was my job to be strong for my Brothers
For problems created by my Father and Mother

So I decided to put on this Mask
But not one like Batman, Robin, or Flash
When I put it On
I could pretend to be Strong

I didn't know it Then
But it came with a Cost

NO more Living
Simply Existing
NO more Emotions
But my heart was still Beating

I'm seventeen Now
My heart's still frozen Cold
But now that I've Grown
I've came to a sad Realization

Though my heart is still Beating
It means nothing at All
Tristan Brown Oct 2017
Dear Tristan,

          You're a coward,  
          But you're too scared to admit it
This is the very first of my Dear Tristan collection, and hopefully, there are many more to come.
Tristan Brown Oct 2017
Dear Tristan,

          How can you care for others,
          But not care for yourself?
Tristan Brown Oct 2017
Dear Tristan,

          You don't use your strengths,
          But instead you use what you want to be strong
Tristan Brown Oct 2017
Dear Tristan,

          You say your good at math,
          But you apparently can't count
I realized that I put out five already, so I thought I would have a little fun with this one.
Tristan Brown Oct 2017
Dear Tristan,

          How is it you constantly tell the truth to others,
          But you always lie to yourself?
Tristan Brown Nov 2017
Dear Tristan,

          Metallica is your favorite,
          But Poison is your remedy
I got my numbers straightened out this time
Tristan Brown Nov 2017
Dear Tristan,

          You want to be a hero,              
          But you wouldn't save everyone
Tristan Brown Nov 2017
Dear Tristan,

          They see good in you,
          But you know it's not there
Tristan Brown Sep 2018
Do winners really win?
Or do they live with the weight
of everyone else?
Tristan Brown Mar 2018
Everything happens for a reason
I didn't know how right you were
If I had known an injury is what it would take
I would have injured myself long ago

To know that you would call me a friend once more
Brings joy to my heart

And I'm sorry for the time
We weren't friends
For the wrongs I committed
And I pray that one day you might forgive me

But now that we're friends
I want to hear about your day
And the things that make you happy

I hope that one day we might become more
That we would call each other
Brother and Sister

More so than anything else
I promise
I will always be there for you
No matter what
I look forward to you reading this. You have no idea how much I missed you.
Tristan Brown Feb 2018
There she was
Falling

And I couldn't  save her
Tristan Brown Nov 2017
Forgive me Father
For I have sinned
I have disobeyed your commandments
The laws of your land

Forgive me Father
Because I'm not perfect
Like you are
Because I’m not the man you told me to be

Forgive me dear Father
Because I try my best
But trying isn’t good enough for you

Forgive me Father
because I’m just man

Father
Forgive me
Because I’m not you

But Father
Forgive me most
Because I’m glad I’m not you
Tristan Brown Mar 2018
Fear is a Gift
It taught me to run
It taught me there are things worse than stress

Fear is a gift
Because when I'm running away from my worries
Because when I'm afraid of what might come

Fear reminds me
I'm still alive
I'm still breathing

Fear is a gift
Because somewhere deep down
Fear reminds me
I'm still human
Tristan Brown Nov 2017
Gives Thanks
Because if you're reading this
You have a screen that you're reading off of
Eyes that see
And the ability to read

Give thanks
Because even if you're going through dark moments
You are still having moments

Give thanks
Because no matter how long it takes
People can see change in you
And eventually they will forgive you
For the things you have done

Give thanks
Because there is a day set aside to be thankful
Because as humans
We have so much that we take
Almost everything for granted

Give thanks
If for nothing else
Give thanks
Because you have air to breathe
And your heart is still beating
Happy Thanksgiving
Tristan Brown Aug 2018
Happy
Such a Powerful word
It's also a very overused word
Which causes its power to be lost

I just hope someone can find it
Tristan Brown Nov 2017
I've always wanted to fly like Superman
I've always wanted to have the prescence of Batman
I have always wanted to get the girl like Spiderman
Mostly,
I've wanted to be a hero like Captain America

I've always wanted to save somebody
And the world if I could

But I can't
I'm no hero

If every villiain is the hero of his own story
Then what does that make me
Because I see myself as the villian
Surrounded by the heroes
All wearing their masks

I use to wear a mask
I took it off
But I don't look much different
My eyes were stained
Stained with the horrors of life

And look at me now
I am one of those horrors

I'm no hero
But I don't know what I am
Tristan Brown Nov 2017
What happens when the hero dies
When the words aren't right
When I have lost my soul
And I've lost my mind
When all is said and done
And my hope is gone?
Tristan Brown Oct 2017
Humans are all one
However we are not all for one
Instead we are all for ourselves
Humans are not perfect
And that I understand
But instead of trying to strive for perfection
We **** one another because we want to feel powerful
We scorn one another because we want others to feel our pain
We break one another because we want someone else to be broken
We hate one another because we want someone else to be hated like we are
Then, we **** ourselves because we don’t want to live like that
Because we don’t want really want to ****, or scorn, or break, or hate one another
We just want someone else to feel human
All of us are human, and none of us are perfect. Know that no matter who you are, there is someone else out there that feels your pain.
Tristan Brown Apr 2018
I have many problems in life
What to eat
What to wear

But my main problem
My main problem is that I Care

I care about my car
But I don't care about me
I care about my grades
But I don't care about me

I care about my parents
But I don't care about me

I love and care those I call my friend
But I don't care about me

I care
But I don't care about me

My car can't care about me
My grades don't give a **** about me

My parents have four others
To care for before me

My friends have their own life
And people to care about

And this I understand

But I don't understand
Why each and every day
I put myself through Hell
And I don't know if I'll make it back

And I do that for all these things
These people
Because I care

I care that they make it through
I care that they are alright

So I care for all of these people
But I don't care about me
Tristan Brown Nov 2017
I’m going to be honest,
I’m not a love poet
But if I was to wake up tomorrow morning
And decide that I really wanted to write about love
I swear that my first poem…
It would be about you

About how I loved you the same way
That I learned to ride a bike:
Scared
But reckless
With no training wheels or elbow pads
So my scars can tell you the story of how I fell for you
~Rudy Francisco

I’m not Rudy Francisco
But every man has his own words

So if I was a love poet
God knows I would still write about you
But I would write about how
That smile of yours might only last a moment
But I'll do everything I can to make it last a lifetime
And then... I will make sure it lasts an eternity

If I was a love poet
I would tell you how
You make all of my days
So I'll make it my duty to make all your tomorrows

I would tell you
That the sun rises each and every morning
Because it wants to see you
Because as bright as the sun is
It is blinded by your light
And you make me want to see
What blindness is really like
So I can look at you for the
Short moment before I lose my sight
Because then
Your image will always be with me

However, If I really cared
I would tell you
You’re better off alone
Than with me
Because I know
I know I’ll hurt you
And I can’t bare the thought of that

I would tell you
I’m not enough
And I never will be
Because enough isn’t in me

If I really cared
I would tell you
Nothing
Because I don’t deserve the chance to speak to you

However to tell you any of this
You would have to be real
I heard Rudy's "Love Poem Medley", and I absoulutely loved it. It was my inspiration to write this one. I thought I would give him a small portion of the credit he deserves. Then I had to put my own twist on the work, so I could call this mine.
Tristan Brown Sep 2018
If you were my poem,
I wrote the most beautiful
imperfection ever
Perfection isn't special. But some imperfections are beautiful.
Tristan Brown Jul 2018
Imperfection is a blessing
Imperfection allows us to be better
Every single day

So be better
Tristan Brown Dec 2017
There they were
Just the two of them
Surronded by many
Yet in their own world
She laid her head on his shoulder
And he held her tight
Because he wanted her forever
She drifted into the happiest sleep of her life
He saw her and he just smiled
Because he knew
She was happy

Is it wrong to be happy for others
To smile when I see others happy
I saw them
I was happy for them
Maybe because I want to be happy

Is it wrong to want to be happy
I want to be so happy
I feel high
Because I'm so low
Hell seems like a high

Is it wrong to want to be happy
Even after everything I've done
Something in me wants to be happy
But I don't deserve it
So I deny myself the experience of happiness

Instead I intrude on others happiness
Because all I want in life
Is to know how happy feels
Tristan Brown Nov 2017
As kids
We were taught to cheer for the hero
The picture perfect role model
The one we all strived to be
The one that always found a way to win
No matter what the odds

He always made the decisions
He Should make
And the only mistakes he made
Were ones that could be corrected
So he could keep his perfect image

We cheered for the hero because
When he was faced with tragedy
He didn't drown in sorrow
But instead used it as a springboard
To become something greater

He always saved the day
And everyone who needed
And he never failed to rescue someone
Not even once

So we held him up high
Because that's what we wanted to be

But overtime
We learned that the hero is just a fantasy
He only lives in comics
Because that's where he was meant to be

So we learned to side with the villain
Not because we're evil
But because the villain is more real
More human

When the villain was faced with tragedy
He did what was human
He attempted to swim
In the flood of sorrow
But couldn't swim forever
He drowned

The villain is relatable
He makes the decision
We Would make
He did what he thought was right
Or at least what was necessary
To provide the needs of
Or to avenge
His family

But eventually
He became blinded
To what he did
And he couldn't see
That he was wrong

Because the villain isn't perfect
He's just like us
The villain is human

So we side with the villain
Becuase we feel his pain
We relate with his emotions
We understand his actions

Perfection is something we can't be
So we stopped cheering for the hero
When we realized that's who we can never be
And started to side with the villain
Because he's just like you and me
Tristan Brown Jun 2018
"It's Alright"
I hate those words
Because when dealing with death
They are complete lies

But what should I say
Should I lie and tell him
It's alright
When I know that isn't true

Should I burden him with the truth
That it's not alright
And his hero is now a ghost
Never to return

I think and I try
To find somehing else to say
But my mind blanks
When I need it most

So I lie
And tell him It's alright
Because I don't know what else to say
This is the beginning of a a series of poems about death and the journey that we take in dealing with it with this being the beginning   and ending at acceptance and growing from it.
Tristan Brown Jan 2018
Is there a point when a man
Can go no more
Because he has simply
Reached his limit?
Tristan Brown Oct 2017
Why is it that I never cry
When I know that my life is a lie?
Is it wrong that I pretend to stay strong
When I’m nothing more than a broken man?
Is it okay that I hide behind a mask
So the world will not know the demon I am?
Is it sad that I wish I’d die
So there’s nothing left to remember me by?

By God I know it’s wrong!!!
I might not be staring down the barrel of a 45
But I surely would like to end my life
For I lie to myself night after night
Just giving myself false reasons why I should stay alive

Is life truly better than death.
I’ve only experienced life,
And I have discovered that it is Hell
So death can only be that bad.
At least in Hell I could find comfort
Knowing that everyone was just as bad as me

But instead, I keep on going
Just living this pitiful life
With each and every stride
I try not to accept it
But I know it’s just a lie
Tristan Brown Oct 2017
Music is a weapon
So I'll use it as my sword
This is a prelude to a much longer poem that I am still working on. However, when this line came to me. I knew that it could stand on its own.
Tristan Brown Nov 2017
My name
Tristan Brown
That's who I am
But I'd like to think I'm more than that

My name
Hidden hero
Wearing his mask
But who really cares about all of that

My name
Costumed son
Behind his back
He'll never know I'm not just like that

My name
Hope's last chance
Behind her back
She'll never know that it's all just an act

My name
Wanted one
They want be back
Sadly for them I rarily come back

My name
Takes up space
Kicked in the back
Good for them I won't attack


My name
I don't know
I wish I did
I guess I'll pretend I'm all of that
Tristan Brown Mar 2018
Seclusion
Isolation
Alone

My path was only meant for me
I just used to think My path
Would one day be Our path
Whoever that might have been

Now I see that I was wrong
And now I can move on
To wherever my path may lead
Tristan Brown Nov 2017
I want to speak
I want to say hello
I want to say I love you and I always have
I want to tell you I keep going in hopes that one day
I might really know you
I want to tell you how even though you are human,
Somehow, you are perfection
I want to say I'll be there for you when no one else is
I'd love to tell you death is a small price to pay
To see you smile

But instead I tell you nothing at all
Because my voice,
My voice is a toxin
That freezes hearts
And when I speak
The toxin pierces my lips
And I am helpless to stop it

It wouldn't matter what I'd say
My voice would stab you as if it were a knife
And it would leave permanent scars

My voice would stain you with
All of the horrors that are me

So I'll keep those words to myself
And pray that you'll find someone
That can make you
Smile
Tristan Brown Nov 2017
There she was
Helpless as could be
Something so simple
Yet was breaking her heart

And there I was
In the seat next to her
All I did was watch
As the tears rolling down her face
Became wet spots on the paper
Haunting the rest of her days

In life it seems
We only see opportunities
Once the chance to take them
Is gone

Opportunity to say the words
We've been wanting to say

Opportunity to save the day
Of the person we've always wanted to save

Opportunity to do what's right

I look back and all I see
All I see is
missed opportunities
Tristan Brown Mar 2018
Keep it together
That's all you ever do
Say you have a breaking point
But you know that isn't true

Fake emotions all the time
That's why you never really cry

Pretend that you can assoicate
Last time you could was when you were eight

Now you are an outsider
And you're better off because you are
Tristan Brown Nov 2017
Poetry
Words on fire
Words on steroids
It can burn down walls of restraint
It can lift the weights that we can't
It can bring the emotionally strong to tears
And bring the weakest new strength

Because Poetry

Poetry is a beautiful thing
I really never new how strong poetry could be until I heard the flowing words of those that I thought I knew.
Tristan Brown Sep 2018
We keep them hidden
From a world that hides theirs

Maybe that's part of the Problem
Tristan Brown Sep 2018
I told her to breathe
but she refused to listen.
Reminds me of me.
Tristan Brown Oct 2018
Sometimes we run.
Sometimes not fast enough
to escape our problems.

But sometimes we run so
fast we forget to slow
down and enjoy our gift.
You don't always have to go full speed. I promise you're runnung fast enough
Tristan Brown Nov 2017
What is a smile
I wish I knew
I smile so much
I've forgot its meaning

Never do I smile for its true purpose
Because Happiness and joy
They're lost causes

Now when I smile
It has endless meanings

Usually it means
I'm just trying to act normal
Because faking smiles
That's normal

Why
Why were we taught from birth
To hide our feelings
All of them
Joy
Sadness
Anger
Depression

The world doesn't need to know
The world doesn't Want to know

I smile to hide my everything
When I'm mad at the world
And the person I hate most

I smile
When I'm depleted of strength
And struggle to lift myself out of bed

I smile
When I'm completely broken
And I know I can't be fixed

I smile
When I'm happy
And no one will ever know

I smile
Tristan Brown Sep 2018
Maybe when we learn to embrace
the fact that we are Human,
We're far from perfect,

Maybe when we begin to accept
the fact that we have problems,

Maybe then we'll begin to find
the solutions.
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