My soul yearns for what I do not have,
And I am most inspired by nightfall.
Father asks why my light remains on until 2am;
He says I’d feel better if I got more sleep.
But I like to speed on the freeway
Until the flashing headlights become blurs,
And I prefer to dance alone in my room in the dark
Than allow my dreams to be made on autopilot
Behind my closed and negligent eyelids.
There are endless things I’d like to do:
Like sing in front of people, and write songs
And novels to be made into Hollywood films,
And a dark-haired boy I don’t know,
But with whom I think I’m in love.
If I learned to be content with what I have,
I’d never feel resentful towards myself
For not being as perfect, polished, and spotless
As I desire every day to become.
But gratefulness is something to be learned,
And I’d rather learn to write stories so profound
That one hundred years from now,
Students in whitewashed classrooms
Will complain about reading them for homework.
Thanks for the compliments.
They mean a lot, I’m serious!
I don’t know,
no one does,
but when words flow
they are on their own
I just watch them go!
- Ali Qureshi
In my life iv had alot of pain
In my life iv been crippled
By not seeing the gain
Iv wanted to die
Iv held that blade to wrist
Iv stood on the edge
Of that bridge
Iv looked down
But i didn't jump
I stood and i thought
About what doing
This thing would wrought
And i just stood
I couldn't do it
Maybe because i was weak
And so i didn't speak
To anyone about this
Because i was ashamed
I was afraid
I still am
But i have to move on
I have to keep going
The sun is slowly showing
Thanks to all the people
In my life
I put away my knife
I have to really live
And so this to you i give
Im ready now
To open up my heart
I know this is just a start
But its a beginning
And i hope to move on
This battle is not won
Ill still fight
The dark still comes at night
But with your help
I can keep going
And i want to thank you
For showing me something new
This strange idea
That i dont have to be alone
To me you have shown
That there is pain
In life you have to strain
To keep going
But slowly you can start growing
I want to make chances
I dont want to regret
And i dont want to have to forget
The things iv done
I want to sit in the sun
And stay for awhile
In that happy place
But know that its because of God's grace
That iv made it this far
And i couldnt have done it
Appreciate the beauty in every day you see
Make friends with the feeling of a soft spring breeze
Breath in the aromas of anew that fills the air
Of the daffodils and posies that spring up everywhere
Vibrant in colour with a backdrop of lush green
The sparrow and the blackbird and the chunky robin sing
Collecting twigs and moss whist singing songs in loving tone
Working with her mate she builds the perfect home
Snuggled in their nest where babies will be grown
The air is cool but the sun is strong it penetrates your bones
Look around and take it in
Arouse your senses
Be thankful for this priceless gift
Of sweet Mother Nature as the seasons slowly shift
The most beautiful woman I know
I have this memory of driving around the countryside with you from 3 years ago.
It was July. A bit after the 4th. Maybe it's the 8th I'm not sure, but it's not too important to the story.
Everytime we got to a stop sign I stopped, vaped (I thought I was so cool,) and we made out. I felt so free being able to drive wherever I pleased, and being with my best friend made it even better.
Now. Yesterday. We go driving around for a bit in the countryside, which we haven't done in about a year. We play our old mixtapes and CDs and it's so great. Peaceful. I look at you and you're still as great as you were before. I love you so much still.
And I will love you
until all the stars die out.
And when time ceases to be
I will still love you
as much as I did that day in july driving through the countryside.
And as much as I do now.
I have faith. I believe one day I'll open my eyes and everything will be alright. It was set, within my parents eyes...that hope Isn't for the hopeless, but for the realest who carries optimism within them.
I admit it, it's hard to imagine another enduring pain and agony the way I do...because I sank them deep. No one heard me cry, no one heard me scream, the strength I have awoken each day just for a smile.
Because like the wise...we know, worrying ends when true faith begins. I'd laugh, today I'll sing exhaulting the woman I've become and smile for all the monsters I've once been.
See, this is why I have faith... I've been slaughtered by the hands I've held, by the bodies I've laid beside but I chose to fight for my life, refusing to fall, refusing to let them have me dead.
They murdered me once, but that was then. I put myself out there on the precipice of eternal pain...I didn't stand a chance. They took my years, lied in my face and whisper sweet poison in my ears.
...But thanks to them, thanks to faith. I've become fierce, I'm no longer afraid. Today I said goodbye to hurt, goodbye to pain, goodbye to heartbeak. I know one day I'll find my murderers and looked them in the face and thank them with grace.
take a moment every day to be thankful
pen out your love
onto paper or into your thoughts
for the bed that cradles you
for the sun that kisses you
for the air that fills you endlessly
for the body and mind that give you purpose
for the people that need you among hundreds
and would feel empty in your absence
you are alive by these gifts
to embrace them is to be eternally wealthy