coursing in his veins
the blood of yellow hue
a sure verification
of a coward's cue

men of courage bore
a darker shade of red
there was such bravery
in the way they bled

behind them the craven
one so weakly stood
they'd be taking the bullets
meant for his hood

yellow with dishonor
spineless of back
not having the gumption
to face an attack

his veins so desperately
bereft of fortitude
they were so inglorious
in their aptitude

#bravery   #courage   #coward   #yellow   #cue  

I haven’t slept in 2 years. I haven’t eaten in 5, I’m not lying.

People lie everyday. “Little white lies” we call them. They mean nothing at all. It won’t hurt anybody. What could possibly happen if I told a lie?

Some people are bad liars, and some lies are just bad.

I’m not a bad liar. But people just don’t believe me when I say anything. Everything I say becomes a lie in another person’s ears, they won’t listen.

So if I tell bad lies on purpose will anybody notice? I’ll mix up the truth with bad lies and see if people can tell the difference.

I’ve never broken a bone, I’ve never been drunk, I’ve never forgotten a birthday. Do you know which statement is true? And which one was the lie?

I’ve been sick for 10 years, my IV is made of tears, my cereal tastes like regret, I’m not lying.

I’ve forgotten my own name, I forgot where I came from, I left my consciousness on the bus. I’m not lying.

It’s very easy to ignore an obvious lie, when you know the truth. But I’m not lying…

My heart is broken, my dignity stolen, and my future is no more. I’m not lying.

My friends are gone, along with my dad and mom, my sibling disappeared. I’m not lying.

My chest hurts, my ribs are shattered, and as for me. Well, there’s not a lot of me left. I’m not lying.

I can’t stop myself from constantly running away from the truth, lies are just so much easier to tell.

They say the truth sets you free…
Ok… Let’s try again.

The poem is filled with lies, some of them easier to say than others. But I want to start telling the truth now.

I want to start this poem over. I want to be better than this. I know I’m better than this… And maybe you can hear it in my voice. But I promise. I’m not lying…

Right now, I am the most honest I've ever been.
#truth   #hiding   #lying   #coward   #speakup  
Mar 11

Somewhere between
the throat and the chest,
lie heavy words
back into the tired heart
they rose from.

#love   #pain   #coward   #expression   #fearful  
Mar 4

Regret all you want
You'll always remember and
I'll never forget

#regret   #haiku   #betrayal   #always   #shame   #forget   #remember   #coward   #traitor  
Feb 5

I don't want to be a coward.
I want to be strong
but it's hard when I don't know what to say
(everything I can think of feels wrong
and I struggle to picture in my mind a real conversation with you,
because I'm scared.)

I blow air into the balloon in my chest
and look across at you
but as my eyes smile and try their best to be honest
I deflate and it seems I can't get through
the thick, grey doubt
clouding my judgement.

I want to tell you that I care
about you and your smile and the way
it paints a crease on your chin
but sometimes I struggle to say anything
that could even so much as doodle an expression
on those familiar features.

Perhaps you are having thoughts quite similar
when you lie down to sleep.
And when you wake early
to go for a run - while your feet
put distance between us - I wonder
if your thoughts pull me closer.
I don't know.

Honestly, these dramatic words don't feel right to me.
They don't suit you
like I want to suit you.
They don't match the pure, honest truth, which is that
I think you're unique.
You're talented and beautiful and you bring me joy.
You're cute and quiet and strong and bold
and I hope that very soon I'll be able to speak some of this to you properly.
You probably know half of it already, and
it makes me twice the coward, that I haven't been able to speak directly to you what has already been said  in every vague hint and stare and hug and simpering compliment that I've passed your way.
I really want to be strong.

#honesty   #scared   #strength   #smile   #joy   #strong   #face   #coward   #balloon  
Dust Song
Dust Song
Jan 24

I have a killswitch in me
call it a failsafe
It happens when you look at me
And tell me that you feel safe
Quickest way to make a coward run
Just tell em that you're counting on em
Everything about love frightens me
Bubbling up the sickening flight in me
Tunnel vision looking towards the end
You ask me to break down my walls
But sugar trust i will not bend
Terrified to let you down my courage simply falls

#love   #truth   #lonely   #pain   #afraid   #selfish   #coward  
Lu Lu
Lu Lu
Dec 27, 2016

I hide, I run, I flake from anything more than "friends".
Once they think to "catch" me, I get the hell out.
I don't fancy pulling on heartstrings. I'm not a musician.
But suddenly I find myself playing a heartsick tune,
when I never meant any harm.

I've hurt many I'd never wish any pain,
It hurts me to leave. Selfish, no?
I hate it.

I wish to find someone who makes me want to stay.

Aula Tullius Sulla
Aula Tullius Sulla
Dec 26, 2016

What if I never
Come to terms with
In another life we
Could be friends
But you prefer
to play poker
Instead of doing
the math
Prefer to play games
Instead of making amends

The story of how
We first met
Goes a little like this;
I was looking forward
To this particular
Until I saw you
Walk in--
I was caught off guard
And on a whim
I refused to push away
The first thought
Which came to my head,
And it was that
Your haircut made me
Want to punch you
In the face.

Love, mostly hate.
Things would be much
If your brain was
In the right place
It is much too low
For my taste
Stop trying to impress me,
Don't test me
I only have one face

So to thine own self
Be true
And perhaps I'll actually
Like the things you do--
You're quite the hunk
After all
Though you're not
Quite as tall as
I previously thought
You shrank with
The gossip fits you
Like a glove

What are you so afraid of?
Did I scare you
When I said "No"?

#man   #lover   #coward   #jerk  
V Anne
Dec 7, 2016

A deep brown
that once housed
dreams and wishes,
that once housed

Now ignite me
with fear.

Demon Eyes
that glare back at me
Demon Eyes
that mock and scorn
Demon Eyes
That revealed the soulless,
Beast behind them.

Demon Eyes —
Were you dark brown
or just empty?

#love   #eyes   #pain   #alone   #loss   #dark   #demon   #left   #coward   #soulless  
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