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Jan 2020 · 115
Empty Shell
Holey Jan 2020
I'm lonely
Oh god am I lonely
I can't breathe through this hole in my heart
It's incapacitating my mind and I can't shake this feeling of forever being alone.
I'm broken
Once a masterpiece
Always a broken soul
Darkness invading my brain
Stripping away who I am
And leaving only the empty shell I've become
I'm lonely
Oh god am I lonely
Clinging onto the only hope I have
Knowing once you've taken that too
Nothing I wish will ever come true.
Hello lovelies
May 2019 · 319
Send Pleasure
Holey May 2019
I found a buck on the ground!
i cried.
BUT IT GAVE ME A REASON TO LEAVE
just for twenty minutes
trapped in my brain
*send pleasure
Its me again like 5 minutes away from the other one I just posted, hi.
May 2019 · 212
Catching the X bug
Holey May 2019
When I took you,
                  When I took you it stripped away worry.
When I took you,
                  When I took you I finally felt like me.
You were in reach,
                  You were in reach, so easily attainable
and it was crazy,
                   it was crazy to think that you would be
                   the answer to the 19 year old question,
                    "Who am I?"
                    "Who is me?"
I took you and it felt amazing,
                   I took you, and for that short while I felt calm.
But nothing ever lasts and one is never by itself.
I don't have anything to say to this one y'all
May 2019 · 2.2k
Insecure
Holey May 2019
So you're insecure...
You've come to the right place
I wear the mask of alter
and then dance the night through peoples eyes
Oh sweet golly another one? Hidden meaning maybe.. :)
May 2019 · 179
Broken
Holey May 2019
And she's broken
She knows it
But she laughs
She laughs?
She laughs to mask the pain
Pain?
Pain knowing that her future is evident
and it scares her.
I'm back, saplings <3
Jun 2018 · 516
Fight The System
Holey Jun 2018
Don't fight the system, they say
Yet they're okay with splitting families
We sit here and watch the news
And take our pain away with *****
Don't fight the system, they say
But we listen, and they still make us pay?
Raise taxes! Raise taxes!
Why aren't we taking action?
We're millions of people
Letting one, pave our future
Let's talk about schools,
Are you going to sit and wait for another shooter?
You aren't safe, your kids aren't safe
Yet he gets to walk away, unscathed.
Why can you just sit there?
Clasping your hands and saying a prayer.
Don't you think he would have done something by now?
We need to learn to fix this, somehow
I won't let this go any longer
And with more hands in mine
Thou let the peace grow stronger.
I'm back!
Mar 2018 · 539
Heart Strings
Holey Mar 2018
I don't know when I'm not home
This love I give, does not go
Where you are and here I stay
Nothing will make this love go away
I can't be alone, all by myself
This pain I have, you have not felt
As much as I pop, it does not stray
But my heart strings you pull have started to fray.
Another one, My saplings
Feb 2018 · 684
Mr. Creator
Holey Feb 2018
Welcome, Mr. Creator
to my home
to the one place where I can speak freely
to the one place I can be me
The bed I sleep in is invisible
My mother is invisible
But you, Mr. Creator
You are not invisible
You are here with me right now
and it feels so good to greet you
Mr. Creator, I warn you
This place will **** your feelings away
and put them in writing
You'll get used to it
Take my hand
We will walk through the words,
Together.
Welcome, newcomers.
Feb 2018 · 572
Thirteen
Holey Feb 2018
Traveling thunder
And rolling lies
Thoughts down under
And scarred thighs
Slashed feelings
and thoughts of suicide
Oh when god, when will I die?
I’m feeling stuck, ****, I’m stuck
So why god, why, why am I alone?
Scarred thighs
Scarred lies
Scarred wrists
And feelings dismissed
I’ll open the bottle and count
One,
Two,
All the way to thirteen
Thirteen and I’m done.
Thirteen and I’m free.
Thirteen.
Can you tell I’m feeling down? Have a goodnight saplings. -TR
Jan 2018 · 409
Grow Like a Vine
Holey Jan 2018
I'm supposed to wake up like flowers
and grow like vines
I fall asleep with eye-showers
and walk along blurry lines
I'm expected to stand tall like trees
and sprout wings and be free.
But silly old me
Doesn't understand being free.
Here's another one for you, my saplings ♥
Dec 2017 · 781
Queen Without Royalty
Holey Dec 2017
I'm a queen without royalty
Speaking of behalf of loyalty
We're turning on each other
Instead of standing with one another
To defeat all the evil that's brewing
Stand with your mother
Stand with your brother
Stay with each other
and stick together
I'm speaking on behalf of loyalty
Loyalty to ourselves
Loyalty to someone else
I'm a queen without royalty
Trying to get your attention
Nov 2017 · 335
Conscience
Holey Nov 2017
I went to your place last night
I laid in bed willing my conscience to leave
and I saw you crying yourself to sleep
I wish this was something you'd believe
But for now this is a secret I will keep.
Have a lovely day my saplings, -TR
Nov 2017 · 327
Tall
Holey Nov 2017
If you act so tall
The harder you'll fall
The quicker you die
The easiest lie
Don't be confused
or act amused
Confidence is key
Let your heart bleed
Just a thinker -TR
Sep 2017 · 229
Numbers
Holey Sep 2017
I watch the numbers
I worry about the numbers
I don't think I'm good enough if I don't see the numbers
Low numbers- I'm crying
Big numbers- I'm smiling
I'm not good enough
Not good enough
Not good..
enough.
I struggle when the likes and the views on my poems are low.. it makes me feel like my poems aren't good.
Sep 2017 · 465
Insults To Myself
Holey Sep 2017
I'm not good enough
I'm not small enough
I'm ugly
I'm untalented
I’m not smart enough
Not happy enough
I’m not enough.
Sep 2017 · 312
Cancer
Holey Sep 2017
I wish you a future, child
I wish you no pain, child
I wish you innocent love
and a full stomach, child
I wish you blue skies, child
I wish you big dreams, child
I see your eyes begin to fade
I know deep down the life I've made
I tried to refrain from touching the plug
but we all lean down for one last hug
Child of mine,
Dance with the stars
Say hello to the moon
I will see you soon
I wished you no pain
I wished you a future
I wished you blue skies
and dreams as big as your heart
You left this world in pain
Our hearts will forever feel that strain
But knowing you are safe and sound
Will keep you and I forever bound.
To the woman that sent me this story, your daughter will forever be in my heart. Saplings, dream big and love hard. Till next time~
Aug 2017 · 926
Splash of Color
Holey Aug 2017
There is always a splash of color
In a room full of gray
a stream of sound
In a quiet room.
Nothing is one thing
and always isn’t a promise
Thank you
For being that color.
Aug 2017 · 323
Couch Pennies
Holey Aug 2017
I will forever be stuck with a jar full of couch pennies.
Sitting on a bench, on my own, in my twenties
Begging with a cup for some spare change
Free housing can be arranged
I thank Trump for my life
as I stare sadly at the knife
Thank you Trump for my life
I'll make sure and use this knife
another one (:
Aug 2017 · 327
Motivation to Move
Holey Aug 2017
I don't have motivation to move
There aren't many things I have to lose
Maybe that's my issue
I'm too depressed to leave
and have very little to achieve
I'm stuck in bed with the lights off
with no motivation to move
Finally out of writers block. I missed my little saplings ♥
Feb 2017 · 895
Mom
Holey Feb 2017
Mom
My head hurts, mom
Please come and take the pain away, mom
I'm not holding my breath, I can't breath
No one understands my brain, but me
The way I think, the path I've lain
and when the dead comes and whispers in my ear,
I'll make sure that you come and hear.
↝⍣↝⍣↝⍣↝
My tears keep stealing water from the ocean
and every effort I make ends in lost devotion.
My heart hurts, mom
Please come and take the pain away, mom
I don't know who I want near, mom
Everyone I want can't come here, mom
It's my natural instinct to run to you, mom
But, I try my hardest to show you I grew, mom
I'm not some little girl with an innocent mentality
But, I am someone who tries to escape reality
Two attempts and I've failed, mom
I'm feeling better but my mind is still jailed
I will keep my mind locked up for now
And only let thoughts out that you allow.
I hope you all like it. Let me know! -Roots
Jan 2017 · 1.1k
Circle of Life
Holey Jan 2017
I'm lonely and broken
And what little I had left has been stolen
They say it's the way of life
But this is one circle, I choose not to join in
This poem is driving me insane I shouldn't have ever made you switch lanes
Now my cars empty and my hearts empty
And nothing will make this pain go away
I'm left with my thoughts and an empty soul, come back and make my heart whole
They say it's the way of life
But all I ever wanted was to make you my wife
A little twist and happiness at the end
Dudes perspective
Nov 2016 · 912
Welcome.
Holey Nov 2016
Welcome Miss. Poet to this land of fun
Welcome you and welcome all to this land of imagination.
Welcome Miss. Poet to a world inside your mind.
Welcome you and welcome all to this never ending story.
Welcome Miss. Poet to this land of difference.
Welcome you and welcome all to a world full of creativity.
Welcome.
Nov 2016 · 779
Last Call
Holey Nov 2016
You call me when you need me
not because you want me
you say goodbye when you want
not when it suits me

What happened to secrets?
now my life's out in the open

What happened to love?
You gave your heart to another girl
now I am stuck in the dirt
begging at your feet

Do I need to cry myself to sleep?

I will not take this pain
there is no gain
so just let me end it hear
this is my last call
Goodb.. Silence.
Nov 2016 · 855
What am I to do?
Holey Nov 2016
What am I to do when you invade my life?
What am I to do when you refuse to say goodbye?
What am I to do when you lie, lie, lie?
What am I to do?
What am I to do when you overstep your boundaries?
What am I to do when you can't seem to stop?
What am I to do when I feel all alone?
What am I to do when I want it all to end?
What am I to do when I just give up?
I give up.
That's the end.
The end.
Nov 2016 · 466
Sight
Holey Nov 2016
To see multiple humans acting as one is a refreshing sight,
It's a sight saved for the most historic occasions.
Nov 2016 · 8.4k
Dear Sister.
Holey Nov 2016
Dear Sister, you chose to leave.
You let me grieve upon loss.
You let me put myself last and yourself first.
You let me worry when I shouldn't.
You let me cry for you.
You let me get angry.
You let me feel pain.
You let me feel anxious.
You let.. you didn't let me do anything.
I chose to be the one to do that for you. To feel that with you.
You decided to take that for granted, and for that.. I owe you nothing.
I don't owe you a place to stay.
I don't owe you my love.
I don't owe you kindness.
I don't owe you anything.
Nobody owes you their time of day.
Nobody owes you the physical items you hold in your hand.
So why go around treating everyone like dirt?
To make the people that care about you suffer.
If it's to make yourself feel better, then I hope you feel worse.
To my.. *dear* sister.
Nov 2016 · 695
Loss.
Holey Nov 2016
The feeling of loss is indescribable.
It's a feeling that none other comes close to.
It's a feeling of being utterly alone and helpless.
The good thing about loss is it's the one time people show they care.
It's the one time everyone comes together.
It's the one time you are given company when you believed you would be alone forever.
It's brings a sense of loneliness with a touch of hope.
Forever Rest in Peace Arthur Stenger and Elijah Vajgert
Aug 2016 · 458
Violence Part Uno
Holey Aug 2016
I sit there and stare into his dark gaze, unable to move do to the fear that has latched itself onto my legs.
Lips trembling, face bloodied and bruised.
The only words I am able to form are begs.
He looks at me with a face filled with disgust, hard steps towards me.
I form enough courage to sprint towards my only escape, the door.
I thought he loved me,
I thought I meant something,
It's my fault,
I should have given him what he wanted.
All the thoughts run through my head as I slowly stop running, I take a deep breath and slowly walk back. Thoughts already forming an excuse and an apology. He meets me at the door with a smile.
"I knew you'd be back."
The last sounds I hear are police sirens.
`This is a little dark, my lovelies..lo siento
Jul 2016 · 803
With.
Holey Jul 2016
With the birds still singing
and the grass still green
I'm gonna put our problems behind me
With my heart still beating
and my brain still thinking
I'm gonna wash your face from my memory
With our kids still forgetting
and the money still coming
I'm gonna keep you away from the rest of my life
With the diggers still digging
and my children still weeping
I'm gonna get ready to join you
We will wait together
and watch our children,
Forever.
Jul 2016 · 386
I know the feeling
Holey Jul 2016
No one tells you they care about you,
and loneliness lingers near,
This awful feeling isn't new,
and I know what you're going through.
I will just leave this here..
Jul 2016 · 835
Hello, Listen
Holey Jul 2016
Hello,
Someone,
Anyone,
Please hear me.
Hello,
Father,
Mother,
Please listen.
There is something I have been meaning to tell you.
The issues in my head won't go away,
and sometimes I look at you and think you don't love me,
I am so insecure about my personality,
So I lie to mask myself.
This anxiety is ripping parts of me away,
The parts that can't be replaced,
There is no transplant to replace my mind.
Hello,
Someone,
Anyone,
Please hear me.
Hello,
Father,
Mother,
Please listen.
There is something I have been meaning to tell you.
I am slowly dying inside and I don't think you understand.
This is serious almost inconspicuous,
So this is what I ask of you,
Please tell me that you love me,
Reassure me that you care,
Bring out myself in me,
and show me that you're there,
This is the only way to get better
Reassurance is key
This will help me put back the me in me.
Sincerely,
A anxiety filled body.
Saplings... This is true.
Jul 2016 · 1.8k
Sand House
Holey Jul 2016
I sit patiently and wait for the waves to consume the sand house I built
A sand house built with the hate that's grown over a period of time.
A sand house built like a sad house, growing weaker and weaker everyday.
The waves roll over my sand house filling the crevices with water.
After the water drains I look at my house and am shocked.
My sand house is packed with more sand, strengthening the walls.

My sand house built like a sad house, built stronger and stronger everyday.
I sit and wait again for the waves to consume the sand house I built
The sand house, filled with all the hate and distress created.
This sand house filled with me, filled with everything that I am.
So I must be strong if I can withstand these waves of trials and tribulations
If I can push out the water and come back a stronger me.
Wrote this on Vacation (:
Jul 2016 · 1.9k
Taught Wrong
Holey Jul 2016
We struggle with what our parents taught us
That it was wrong to love the same gender
That we need to stay away from the colored folk
That thin people were beautiful and thick was unhealthy
and to stay away from the weird ones.
Even that if you have *** before you're married, you're a *****
and if they aren't Jesus lovers then they were raised poorly.
They taught us money and looks over love
and that an animal is just an animal.
They taught you wrong.
Love is love no matter the gender
A person is a person no matter the color
No matter the weight
No matter the appearance
No matter the personality
No matter the ****** activity
No matter the religion
and an animal is not just an animal.. It's a life.
Your parents taught you wrong
So I will teach you right.
Jul 2016 · 534
Steps
Holey Jul 2016
Five steps to get to the door
Five steps back.
Twelve steps to get to the stairs
Twelve steps back.
Thirty steps to get out the door
Thirty steps back.
Five hundred and three steps to get out of town
Five hundred and three steps back.
Six thousand and ninety two steps to get out of state
Six thousand and ninety two steps back.
Three hundred and two, thousand steps to get half way
Three hundred and two, thousands steps to get back.
Six hundred and five thousand steps to get to you
Six hundred and five thousand steps to get back.
These steps I walk to get you and these steps I take to get back
Are worth the amount of time it takes
Jul 2016 · 175
Hardest Thing To Do
Holey Jul 2016
The hardest thing to do is say goodbye
and I know that first hand
It's rough when you feel so close to them
and then are ripped from your life
It makes you feel jealous to the people that are
Jul 2016 · 181
Breath
Holey Jul 2016
A breath of air is like a fresh start
No matter how hard life is at the moment
If you step outside and just breathe
All the worries are washed away
Ellooo
Jul 2016 · 1.6k
You.
Holey Jul 2016
You are beautiful.
You're a man?
Doesn't matter.
You are beautiful.
Life is beautiful.
So you are too.
You wear a dress?
Doesn't matter
I do too.
You're lonely?
Me too.
You like tea?
Life *****, man.
So get the hell up and live.
Ignore the protests.
Ignore the hate.
Lets hold hands and think.
Don't hate please. (:
Jul 2016 · 234
Time/Words
Holey Jul 2016
Right now
At this moment in time
We haven't come to a complete ending
It is almost as if we, the people on earth are living
On a full infinite loop, no.. not a loop. A completed earthly circle.
Every word that we call a word has been created because we needed it
If we hadn't decided that we needed that clump of letters
Then there would be something not said before.
At this moment in time
Right now.
Jul 2016 · 865
Intrigued
Holey Jul 2016
******.
I'm so intrigued by you
You invade my thoughts
Making it hard for me to go a day without you.
Jul 2016 · 724
Ecstasy
Holey Jul 2016
Hello
Children
From
Above
Please
Save
Me
From
The
Effects
Of
Ecstasy
The one that rips your heart in two
That fakes a heart attack
The horrible kind
The one called
Love.
Jun 2016 · 602
Leave.
Holey Jun 2016
I’m worried for the sake of me
not for the sake of you.
I’m expected to appreciate what you have done for me
instead I can’t help but look at you with deep hatred
Did you plan to leave me?
To rip my heart out and throw it away like nothing.
I gave up my life for you. I spent every day with you.
And you can leave me just like that?
***** the kids. I wanted you.
But you chose her over any of us.
Thanks for that.
Sincerely,
Me.
Sorry for the angry one today...folks. Love you. -Roots
Jun 2016 · 812
I can
Holey Jun 2016
I can be this love in your heart.
I can be this..this disease that crowds your memory.
I can be the one thing that clouds you're judgement and ruins your life.
I can learn every little thing about you a manipulate you into submission.
I can be whatever I choose to be to change you into the perfect love.
I rolled out another one.
Jun 2016 · 939
Here
Holey Jun 2016
Yes I left,
I took a break
Now I am back
and here to stay.
Was I missed?
Or hated strongly
My apologies, my saplings...
I'm here for you now.
Helloooo!!! I am back!
May 2016 · 2.7k
Change Your Mind
Holey May 2016
I live in the wilderness
Shower in the rain
Dry in the sun
and change my mind an hour later.
May 2016 · 258
Seer
Holey May 2016
Three eyes and a imagination
I am the seer that comes to you
Bad future and darkness ahead
The blind one that sees
Apr 2016 · 739
The New Ruler
Holey Apr 2016
Forward into the fiction of humanity and slave away a once overcrowded race
Creatures crowd me and fight for an alienated bill of our rights
So turn your pitchforks to each other soldier because once again survival is the fittest
Watch as I order myself the new king of the hill and see to it that you bow down to me
Once again I am the new democracy I am the new fear that you etch into your brains.
If one decides to challenge me then that one will become the new floorboards I walk on
If the floor isn’t good enough for my elegance to walk on, then I expect you to lay down.
I am the ruler that you run from
I am the ruler that you hate
But make your feet dance before me or you won’t have to feel the fear anymore
You’ll feel my hands around your neck.
Kinda a dark one.
Apr 2016 · 355
Time.
Holey Apr 2016
It is not the time to go away
It is not the time to start to pray
It is not the time to say you care
and not the time to ask to share
It is not the time to say goodbye
It is not the time to try and lie
All I ask is a one week warning..
But that is too hard for you isn't it.
Welcome back my little saplings
Apr 2016 · 525
Recipe of Me
Holey Apr 2016
Add a pinch of love and hate
Mixed with a cup of confusion
Don't forget the Anxiety
Laced with abnormality
Mix it all together
And you get the perfect concoction of me
Apr 2016 · 681
Shared Blood
Holey Apr 2016
Are you the man that shares my blood?
I said with tears creating a flood.
His eyes were scared his stance mean
Filled with hatred never before seen.
I lean in as to give him a hug
But stop midway and we both share a shrug.
Is there a reason your personality changed so much
You walk away at the slightest of touch.
You're not the father you're supposed to be
It's not we anymore it's just me.
I went to find you to say my goodbyes
and clear the air thats filled with lies.
I can't call it a goodbye when it's bad
and left me feeling very sad.
Maybe someday you'll come back
And our feelings will finally unpack.
Mar 2016 · 683
Over the Hills
Holey Mar 2016
Over the hills
And through the land
A fair maiden lived to serve
A wretched deal
On a doubtful day
Left her mind confused.
So over the hills
And under the law
A fair maiden lived to run
Speeding away from a stupid man
On a miserable day.
So over the hills
And through a cemetery
A fair maiden lived to haunt
Haunting the one thing that caused her demise
On one spiteful day.
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