This state of limbo is the calmest and scariest place to be.
Where all of these decisions seem to matter long before they've been made.
And here I am just staring down the possibilities...
I can stop you know.
I have self control and that is something I can be sure of.
But even now, what are we supposed to do?
I'll start with saying this:
I'm not going anywhere.
I am not a guarantee for what you might want, but I won't leave.
So here's what I propose:
Stop. Think. Act.
And sure, that's brutal honesty, and it's not easy.
But you've got an iron will do you not?
Just watch some TV with me.
sometimes you let go of people
you stop thinking about them
you stop waiting for them to reply
you stop letting them hurt you time after time
you stop caring about everything they do
you stop waiting for an apology that will never come
you just let them go, accepting that they are not in your life anymore
you finally realize how different your life is after just...
Shaking at the thought.
Is the chaos contained or is it
free to delve deep inside of me?
I know you're waiting.
You have your hand outstretched,
waiting for a smile or a gesture
that says you know what comes next.
When does it let up?
Can we come and take off?
How does it go when you move
when the sign says stop?
When you ask if I'm okay,
of course I tell you I'm fine.
I want to get high with you again.
Because the last time, we started getting
And I miss that very much.
I miss the way you held me.
and ran your fingers through my hair.
Until our friends walked in.
And we had to stop
They say when you are in a panicked state of mind you have to center yourself into the room in order to calm down
You were there one night
As my wildest emotions overrode me
You told me to count to 5 and it would all be over
Everything would be okay
1, 2, 3, 4... 5
It passed, those five seconds
I began to use this method whenever I'd begin to go into an emotional frenzy
1, 2, 3, 4... 5
Things began to pass and I became to realize nothing could be bad forever
Especially after the countdown
Days passed between the two of us and things did not seem the same
As we sat in your car arguing about the little things
You said the words
"it's over, get out of my car"
I sat there
Shocked, panicked, so flooded with fear
So I began to count
you yelled at me, "STOP" you said
you wouldn't stop screaming "I'm done with this, I can't anymore"
you stopped screaming and began to pick up my purse and jacket to hand to me dismissing me from your car
you said "this will not pass"