I scrambled for you
Begged the universe to hurry up
In the rare moment that I had something to say
There you were
Infested with distractions
Corked by the idea that maybe no one cares
Turned in the sea of words
Not good enough
Not big enough
Not likely to receive validation
How can you tell?
I was going to tell you about your blindfold
But maybe it's folded too tightly
For me to jar your reality
Who has the delusion?
I scrambled for you
where does hierarchy begin?
Is it where the strong is on top,
and the weak step upon?
Where does your dignity be placed?
Is it where your always be the winner,
no matter what, even it has bitter taste.
Is SURVIVAL really that cruel?
That some of us are just a tool,
a fool for the strong to be cool.
No, it can't be that bad
yet reality is quite sad.
Despite our hard beginnings
Life still is beautiful
that losing isn't everything.
To where dignity is placed -
when you respect yourself the most.
That hierarchy isn't important
to where your love is...
NEGATIVITY is a part of your life
But can you consider losing it this time
For you are not born to have the highest pride
to prove everyone that everytime we can win this fight
Negativity is what brings you down
But what if it is the apetizer to your meal?
Or the balance equation to your formula?
Can you still accept it ?
Is what brings you happiness.
For negativity and failure lets you appreciate positivity and success.
It is made to build foundation
To stand and be proud of our own
Let us view each other's perspectives
For we do not know it is just for our own sake that is given
That moment of serenity I've been yearning for
It's been so long that it feels weird
I haven't felt as healthy as I do right now
Mentally and pyschically
Feeling like all the pieces are coming together
There's no better feeling
I praise you for showing me the light
When I was lost in such a dark place
I like to dream of the day
I finally will be able to see you
But I feel like what we have now
is a dream
that I don't want to get out of;
a dream where I can continue
loving you without you knowing
I ever did
And what if we did meet one day in the future?
And what if you never saw me the way I saw you?
That is a reality i don't want to reach
―I'd rather be stuck in this dream alone,
no matter how lonely and one-sided this love is
The cliff rises in front of me,
Red iron minerals soaked into the rocks.
My hands ache from the climbing
And my body begs me to not stop.
My soul feels enlightened from all I have already seen.
The rushing river that now courses far bellow me.
This is the adventure I have craved for so long,
I can’t wait to reach the top
And see how far I have gone.
I reach up to put my hand on the stone,
Suddenly the sound of the alarm screeches into my bones
My dream is all gone
And all has been undone.
My tired hand puts a stop to the noise,
And my tired mind tries to regain some poise.
My dream is fading,
What was once bright is now gone.
But now I know what I want
And how I will go on.
-ALC March 23, 2017
What could've been is an idea
that unfortunately exists with lies.
I wonder if what could've been
is really what should've been,
just hiding in disguise.
And what if what could've been,
that'd be quite the surprise.
But it doesn't really matter.
Because it would be a surprise,
if what would've been
And if hiding in disguise
is what should've been,
I no longer wonder what could've been.
That's just what what could've been is,
an idea made of lies.
All it took was a glance
And a single choice in time
A moment that would linger
An emerging paradigm
All it took was a taste
Reality crumbled at my feet
I had never known a drug
To be so bitter and so sweet
All it took was a touch
And I forgot my name
Words dissolved on my toungue
With only you to blame
You left a mark
Like a fossil in my soul
For I'm forever changed
Not broken, but not quite whole
It feels like I knew you and everything you are
Before I even met you.
I feel so comfortable when I'm with you.
Like every moment I spend with you
Is more than just a moment.
It's all I ever wanted
And flawless and mine
You are really so much to me and
I don’t think that anyone could get how
You make me feel as if I am
Better than I am.
But nothing lasts forever and
I know this better than anyone.
With my tattered heart's edges
And my abandonment issues.
I know that despite your promises
You will leave.
And I can't stand the thought of being without you.
Not being able to hold your hand,
To hear you tell me you love me,
To get those texts from you
That make me lose my mind.
And make me feel sane all at once,
It's my nightmare.
I know that despite what you feel
Right now, one day you'll see
The beasts in me,
And you will leave.
I love you.
I love you so much,
More than anything in the world.
But nothing lasts forever
And you will leave
But for now,
I'll just put you inside of my chest
And hold you in my arms,
Because at least one of those places,
You can't leave.