Have I yet impressed
upon you the urgency
What's the real story here?
into a melting mirror
at a face deformed
lit by dollar store
at night I'm dying to change
at daybreak's pallor
it's easier to
Unhealthy and sedentary unlike
two years ago, arteries hardening
lungs constricted and teeth missing
all due to smoke
I'm a joke,
there's a reason to stop
I don't want
to invite death,
then die so slow
But I do want to die lazily
My love, apathy
Something of another realm
appeared before me some nights
on a small break to Brooklyn;
he was crooning by the bar
some love songs dragged out
of a wormhole in the cosmos,
and he saved my mind.
and the funny thing about
finding Heaven, is that you never
really do, until one day you catch it
swigging a beer from the corner of your eye,
and the lights in the bar
start to look warmer than they did
when you first walked in.
My cousin drove out to Brooklyn with me, and when we got there an hour later, we had just found out it was a 21+ show, so he couldn't get in the stage area. My cousin had told me to go see the band, and that he could wait in the car, since he was exhausted from work anyway. So after I went in the stage area, I ordered a beer at the bar, and from the corner of my eye, recognized the lead singer. I was so clumsy talking to him, since I find him attractive and it was my first time meeting a musician, but he was so great and made me feel comfortable with being honest about how much I love his music. His presence was just really sweet and relaxing to be around. He and his bandmates were so kind, genuine and thoughtful. When I told him about my cousin, he felt bad and gave me a copy of their vinyl to give to him, which was heartwarming to me.
Tu'er Shen, also known as The Rabbit God or The Leveret Spirit, is the Chinese deity that safeguards homosexual affections. His name stuck out to me when I was reflecting on the night I met the singer, and the band's music overall; how mercurial and ethereal it is, while being so simple, mellow and tender. That feeling meeting him, watching him sing, there was a comforting air about it all; it was one of those few times in my life where I had a strong fondness for an acquaintance I just met, where it was a nice feeling to just bask in, even if I didn't do anything about it. I just felt somewhere safe and sweet in all the music, all the while feeling this sense of being in touch with my Higher Self, experiencing a higher place right where I was existing for a moment in time.
The reflection of countless stars
Shimmered in the dark street.
Echoed through the form of tables,
Empty and longing for its
The passing individuals have become
Numbers, twinkling lights in the distance.
The loving, the lonesome, the cross, the scared…
All held stories, forgotten and left spared.
Continuing their pass night to new night,
As the reflection of countless stars shines so bright.
Ever onward into a sea of reverie
Where raindrops fall bronze by the light of the evening sky.
You and I were ghosts to the most colors we could find and that's fact.
We stopped at the green lights and flew at the red ones.
We drew a flood on the face of the desert
and danced to the sounds of the northern lights
those ever pulsating bass drums
that kept telling us it's time to wrap things up
because the end has come and new things are on the horizon.
Within all things are other things and all those things are galaxies.
A universe within a single cell amongst a million others
and they all make you.
So bless us this day our daily bed
and lead us not into nightmares
but deliver us from fear.
For thine is the brightness
And the adventure forever.
Blue vessels, loving lights.
They all drifted away by the current that led them.
I watched them blink out off into the distance.
Hearts like a thousand spheres of color shining into a blackened night,
Piercing into it the dreams they carried.
Trailing behind them their intrepid wake.
The beautiful mystery of reckless dancing and ridiculous laughter.
Such is life, and such is my hope to see them again.
These are the delighted memories
that play games with each other
in my head and in my heart
bubbling with connection
these are the gifts
that keep me.
The red light
stops me in
at the same time,
I see this big woman
with her arms full of flowers.
She walks between cars
with a gesture.
Some windows are lowered,
others just reflect her.
I've been thinking of her
for a while.
I wonder if she was born
In a small town,
full of flowers.
from that paradise
and put her in this
badly paved avenue.
The green light
illuminates us again.
there you are dancing in smoke and lights moving along to the bass of the music
once again the crowd cheers for you
if only you knew how i cheered for you even backstage without all the special effects, with your hair pinned up and your face clear as day