expecting a boom -
but it was only a whisper.
expecting a spectacle -
but it only got dimmer.
expecting praise -
when only deserving of pity.
just when you couldn’t finish the race
was the distance travelled all a waste?
fell too short, a disgrace
when the expectation wasn’t my fate.

the hardest thing to do in a world of lies
is to learn to trust again
the endless void of crippling apathy
consumes as a chasm of pain
the hardest thing to do in a world of hate
is to love yourself to death
the endless void of crippling apathy
was not allowed first breath
it was born dead
but not allowed to die
disgraceful abomination of the chasm of pain
if life is cloth this is its stain
my god did not bear witness to its worship
no soul left to claim
and so his silent pleas were thrown aside, worthless prayers in the rain
no soul left aside
in the chasm of pain

We live in a world surrounded with friendly monsters
disguised as friends, family, relatives and folksters.
Be wary of whom you let tame you
and be wary of whose cage and stables you enter into
for it will be invisible behind pretty smiles
hidden behind small talks and small walks in dangerous aisles
a journey seeming utterly beautiful like snowflakes in winter
but in reality, they’ll all use you, disgrace you and leave you bitter.

-fir.m

I flew above the horizon
Soar high with the eagles
Flew up high to cross the great sea
With my magnificent wings

I joined the clouds on the skies
I flapped and flapped tirelessly
To reach the paradise
On which I can almost see.

The eagles gracefully flew over the mighty mountain
They reached the other side
They have entered their destination
A beautiful paradise.

It is my turn to ascend like them
I charged, pushed myself higher
But I lost my grace, I hit a tree
I fell down to the dirt

I tried to rise from the ground but I can't
Tried all my might but my wings are broken
I can no longer fly
I can no longer land on paradise.

I am sorry
I was born as a human,
Humans are supposed to possess great vigor.
I am ashamed of myself
I induced chaos in the harmonious system,
Humans are supposed to yield balance.
I apologize
I disguised myself with a strata of untrue commotions,
Humans are supposed to show the originality.
I am guilty of my past deeds
I didn't do anything to amend those actions,
Humans are supposed to owe to their mistakes.
Yet another question arises,
Am I a disgrace to humanity?

My tissue got a scar over all my weary skin,
my tears got not tissues to clear my sin,
bearing all those scars, I've been with none but with myself in war,
I killed myself over and over, those scars now is a shining surface,
I try to hide my face,
Because sometimes I feel disgrace.
I wish I could go back and replace.