And when she began to speak
I opened her mouth just wide enough to look inside.
Stretching her mouth as wide as I could get it without causing pain.
I looked around directing her head in the light.
Highlighting everything I couldn't see.
And when I let go she asked what all of that was for.
With rose eyebrows I replied the person I met a couple of years ago

Temporal Fugue
Temporal Fugue
2 days ago

The words go in, the words come out
it's then, I turn about

The blade goes in, the blade goes out
as I scream and shout

The ambulance comes, the ambulance goes
a morgue delivery

The cops take statements, and give their cards
evidence discovery

The mourners come, the mourners go
flowers, that they throw

The widow consoled by Steve and Joe
the things I didn't know

Haha, Steve and Joe obviously had alibis :D
Temporal Fugue
Temporal Fugue
2 days ago

Sheriff Jill arrested Jack
and threw him in a cell
Dealing drugs, selling crack
a lazy nere-do-well

His lawyer got him off
a simple technicality
Jill it seems related
an ex, officially

His body found in an alley
outside his supplier's pad
Shot dead, by a large bore magnum
Jill only said, that's just too f_ing bad

I bet Jill curiously owns a 44 mag :D
Jill never liked tumbling down the hill ;D
Temporal Fugue
Temporal Fugue
2 days ago

There was a serial killer lady in California
don't say I didn't warn ya
a black widow of fame
as results always the same
the husband she'd blame, falling asleep, in the sauna


"Space X To Fly Two Paying Customers To The Moon"

It's a trip of a lifetime
he said
It’ll bring us closer together
he said

What I failed to realize was
Even in space he could still find a way
to cheat on me.

“A crater?!… Really John?!”
Men really will stick their dicks in anything.

By Lindsay Johnson
#poem   #poetry   #funny   #space   #breakup   #humor   #comedic   #comedy   #news   #headline  
Temporal Fugue
Temporal Fugue
3 days ago

People with BO
Dogs, that bark too much
In the fast lane, moving slow
The sound, of a grinding clutch

Grocery cart squeaks
Those who can't decide
Driveway, oil leaks
Someone ate, the last slice of pie

Un-reset microwaves
Cat crap on my stoop
Children who misbehave
And parents, full of poop

But most of all, and foremost
It's always on my mind
Those who refuse to see
Even though, not blind

They are out there in numbers, that are more than majority. :|
Temporal Fugue
Temporal Fugue
4 days ago

Lay right back
and I'll tell a tale
a tale of meds gone wrong
it started at the bar last night
that's why I wrote this song
the pill was not that small, but blue
a diamondly shaped cure
setting my watch timer
for a four hour tour
a four hour tour

She told me that, she liked my smile
and wanted to know more
like if I made good breakfast
and if I'd like to score
and if I'd like to score

My libido took her places
she'd never seen before
and made a mess of my apartment
of that you can be sure
of that you can be sure

I ran aground as my watch went off
not for lack of need
my buddy did not know it
but now he couldn't pee
EMS said I was lucky
as purple not a shade
I would want to keep in vogue
or put upon display

The needle began removing blood
at rate that made me swoon
nurse plunging it in so deep
a bloody harpoon
a bloody harpoon

So take my warning serious
and know not to indulge
or at the ER you will be
an exsanguinating bulge
my exsanguinated bulge

I have not been here, trust me, I would know if I had, from what I've heard :D
#humor   #adult   #ed   #viagra   #cialis   #levitra  
Temporal Fugue
Temporal Fugue
5 days ago

Throwing bait
waiting for a bite
mentally nailed down, way too flippin tight

I can't wait
as trolls attempt to engage
full of nothing more than anger, jealousy, and rage

Bring it on
let's git her done
let's see what you can do

Attack as you will
and have your fun
can tell, you ain't got a clue

Trolls are so limited
yes Virginia, I'm afraid it's true
Trolling for trolls, an easy thing, flinging their monkey poo

Kinda adapted from a song I did over on PF :D
#humor   #troll   #trolling   #snarky  
5 days ago

Lately, I have been suffering
From being slightly absent-minded,
Forgot to flush the Lav last night
Which almost left our lass blinded?

You dirty old sod!
You’ve forgotten to flush the chain,
Staring into the pan, she says
Looks like the remnants of your brain,

A genuine mistake possibly,
Fear will always be reminded of my error,
Her normally very passive tongue
Was now raging words of terror?

Yet I can see an escape route,
Or shall we say a viable excuse,
To explain my left deposits
Which were a little loose?

I know it has been a while my dear
Since you last visited the traps,
So I thought I would leave you a reminder
Then maybe just perhaps,

As it is over a week,
Since you last had a show,
I also detect a hint of jealousy,
Cos at least I can go!

#poem   #loss   #fun   #memory   #humor   #problems   #toilet  
Temporal Fugue
Temporal Fugue
5 days ago

I've got more baggage than a fully loaded 747
yup that's right, not this boy, getting into heaven
Each bag a different demon, claws sunk in my back
starting at my shoulders, goin clean down to my crack
The humor inescapable, it looks just like a turtle shell
armor I'll wear forever, going with me, down to hell

Anybody seen my suitcase? I swear I saw it on the round-a-bout at LAX.
#humor   #armor   #baggage   #turtle  
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