pluviophile
pluviophile
3 days ago

I remember,
When I was eight.
I held a silver blade over my pale wrist.
But it told me to stop,
And so I slipped it away.
I remember,
When I was fourteen.
I brought out that same blade,
Along with two others.
Silver, black, blue.
Yet again,
They told me to forget.
Regretfully,
I hid them in the drawer of my wooden desk.
I remember,
When I was eighteen.
Ready to end everything,
I brought out all five of them.
Silver, black, blue, white, green.
For all my deadly sins,
I deserved them.
Tears welled but were never shed.
My guardians,
They told me to rise up,
To continue to make memories.

all credits go to my friend, c.g.
#harm   #memories   #remember   #colors   #knife   #guardian  

Still I have the urge
To take the knife up
And do stupid things
Like I used to before

But no, I don't do it
Instead I drown myself
In loud music and tears
With literally no end

Am I becoming mad?
I don't know anymore
But this seems like
A fine way to suffer

//Trying to do things right//
#end   #tears   #stupid   #music   #like   #mad   #suffer   #drown   #knife  

I'm an artist they say...
I painted my illusions of dreams
I drew on a smile everyday,
I was happy, so it seemed

But my palette ran low
As my colors faded grey
Now my life holds on by a thread
And I'm just fighting just to stay

Because as the days go on,
I let these colors bleed through.
From my paper to my skin,
I'm nothing but red, black, and blue.

I turned myself into a canvas
Trying to describe this strife
But it wasn't beautiful at all
For my paintbrush was a knife

And my paintings are nothing but
empty promises of what we once knew
The only color left in my life
Are my memories of you

Well that escalated quickly...
#broken   #sad   #depression   #memories   #drawing   #strife   #you   #painting   #artist   #knife  

In high school,
It's all just fun and games
Of who has better aim
And who can get the knife
deeper in your back.

#lies   #school   #games   #deep   #high   #knife   #backstabbers  

The word feels foreign on my tongue
Actions make me run and hide
As if no one could ever love someone
As hideous and dirty as me
That's what you want me to believe
That no one will ever love me for the way I am.

So you sit there and whisper in my ear
It's okay, he can touch you like that, this isn't wrong
But it is
He should treat me better.

For a while,
I told myself that I would figure you out
I would understand why you are the way that you are
I would fix you
But it was never that simple
Sometimes, people hurt people just to hurt them
As if they find pleasure in it
You loved to watch me squirm under your knife.

I always thought you loved me
But now the fog has cleared
And I see that it was lust.

#love   #hide   #lust   #hurt   #trash   #run   #tongue   #fix   #knife   #foreign  

I have all my fingers,
The knife goes chop, chop, chop.

There's nothing poetic about the life I lead,
With feet like lead I tread and
Tread through halls of dread.

If I hit my fingers
My fingers will come off.

I trod and trod and trod,
Life is monotony and
The grind is sodomy.

If I hit my fingers
The blood will soon come out.

The world keeps whipping,
There is no relief and
Man is the thief.

But all the same we play this game,
That's what it's all about.

The priest keeps preaching,
The room spins, spins, spins and
I writhe in ecstasy with my sins.

You may not use a pen,
The only is with a knife when
Danger is your friend.

#love   #anger   #life   #gay   #religion   #lust   #romance   #sex   #danger   #knife  

This feeling like a knife jabbing at my heart
waiting patiently for it to poke through
and bleed out.

#love   #depression   #hate   #scared   #relationship   #romance   #blood   #knife   #gore  

what am i doing

i stab her deep 
deeep 
deeeeep 
then i lick the knife clean 

why did i do that 

go out front 
for cigarette
put it out in soil of dead potted plant

i look around the neighborhood for more people walking  

nobody

relieve myself in dead plant 

return inside
see blood trail 
leading out back 

i follow it

she's trying to hop the fence
but her body is failing her 

i grab her ponytail 
and whiplash her to the ground 

she gurgles n gargles

one of her collarbones is sticking out

i break it off 

and beat her over the head with it 

until a red white and purple slushee comes out

i can't help myself 

i've lost it 

i've lost my marbles

#poem   #poetry   #dark   #blood   #cigarette   #murder   #adult   #knife  
Liam Bro
Liam Bro
Jan 13

Sits there sending me descriptions of my mutilation,
Says he'll be viciously eviscerating on the road or on the pavement.
The only thing he'll be touching is a victim impact statement,
When he's crying to the police after I brutally rape him.

Have men down on their knees begging for my sympathy,
Reminders of my mortality coming in swiftly,
I see hostility and reciprocate it instantly,
Your personality had more of a fucking chance of cutting into me.

Better go grab your kite,
Because I know you caught wind of me.
The only thing as stable as your gang of wiggers is my volatility.
But it might be nice to get some peace and tranquility when I've stripped you of all that misplaced pride and nobility.

#love   #cutting   #depression   #anger   #hate   #sadness   #friendship   #joy   #scars   #knife  
cait-cait
cait-cait
Jan 10

Step one starts with forgetting/

you begin by tearing
yourself from the skin they took home in,
disconnecting your arms from their seams,
eating their hearts
and hoping that they forget you,
too

Step two means burning all
ties,
dissolving each memory like the pills
your mother took at breakfast,
how could you have let this happen?

so you pull
their
veins from yours and
untangle what they gave you,
choke down a penny
and hope
that they don't think of
you

Step three is the
detox,
cut yourself open and scrub yourself
shiny:::
unchain your wrists from that dinner table
and hope that his nightlight doesn't bleed
through
that
doorway,

orange was never a pretty color
anyway

Step four is the hardest,
.
when you take a knife to your palm,
and make slits down to your wrist,

when you ignore the beck and call
of memories you forgot you had,
people you realize never cared,
so you take
a drink for those you know you've
long forgotten,

and come clean
to three different people, all the
same and hope the next girl
doesn't know step one....

it never seemed to hurt when you
played it all out in your head.

this has been in my phone's notes for a really long time and i finally wrote step four. right as he forgets and replaces me...:.. ....ok
#pills   #heart   #relationship   #forget   #memory   #ignore   #veins   #knife   #orange   #detox  
 
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