Somedays I'm always happy,
Somedays I'll be nothing close to that,
And sometimes,
I'm going to have those days,
where if my papers are not in order,
fixing them is not an option,
and I wanna **** myself.
Who wants to hang out,
with a girl like that?
Where anything,
and everything,
could set her off,
Sometimes I wish,
you could say,
what you really feel,
about me,
to my face,
But instead it's around me,
And I'm known to imagine things,
But I really do think it's there,
And I'm more then,
a Couple lose ends,
Somedays I'm sewed together,
like a new doll,
But most,
I'm the old one,
you have had for years,
in the back of your room,
Never to be used again,
And the fact,
I'm not good enough for you,
I can't get over it,
And Somedays,
I wanna die,
trying to make everyone happy.
But I won't,
and I can't,
And you know,
what's really sad,
You never try to help me,
You never wanted me in your life,
I've been used so much,
I'm used to it,
And I wish it was funny,
But it's not,
And the two people I like,
will never know I like them,
And I honestly,
just want someone to hold me,
tightly and show me,
they love me,
But no one wants to hold me,
No one wants to love me,
I should know that by now,
Sad to think my third grade year,
is better then this,
A third grade year,
when I tried to **** myself,
or hurt myself enough,
to get out of school,
And sorry guys I'm learning ,
I've been self harming,
since third grade,
I've done it right there,
in front of you,
I would pull my own teeth out,
Not eat so I could get a head ach,
and go to the nurse,
or look sick enough to,
I would find relief,
in the kindergarten artwork,
in the nurses office,
But then I didn't know how to talk,
I would write down,
"I don't feel well,"
just about everyday,
Or stick out a ****** tooth,
and just instantly get allowed,
to leave my classroom,
Kinda sad isn't it,
But you know this year,
would make you cry,
I wish that It was a lie,
But it's not,
Nothing's true anymore,
Just like my relationships,
They all are fake,
And sometimes,
I wanna exit pass,
that will write my goodbyes for me,
But I don't have an exit pass,
And I don't have any good byes,
So I'll take the emergency exit,
from a distances of floors up,
And leap,
and let my tears,
say good bye.
So good bye I guess
I wrote this last year when I was lashing out, I sat on a bridge feet dangling over, I had a friend come find me, and get me down before an officer come and check out the girl reported on the bridge. I can't belive I found this.
