"confided" poems
Those silly songs;
so sad but true
With lost feelings
of me and you
I played it on
with the tape's side A
Felt like blossoms of dawn
and flowers of May
I flipped the tape
Found side B's empty
The same thing I get
Every time you look at me
"You'll get over this."
You once confided
That's what our love is;
Too one-sided
Jun 20, 2018
Jun 20, 2018 at 2:21 AM UTC
1748
The reticent volcano keeps
His never slumbering plan—
Confided are his projects pink
To no precarious man.
If nature will not tell the tale
Jehovah told to her
Can human nature not survive
Without a listener?
Admonished by her buckled lips
Let every babbler be
The only secret people keep
Is Immortality.
12.9k
You were razed,
To hate my kind,
You broke the prejudice,
You’re not blind;
You don’t trust me,
And I get it,
You barely know me,
Or just a bit;
You confided in me,
You know I’m here,
For anything you need,
For anything you fear;
I’ll get to the inner circle,
One way or another,
I’m patient like that,
I feel like a brother;
Feb 13, 2015
Feb 13, 2015 at 5:52 PM UTC
that i've been reading your poetry
(on the new front page)
and,
I ******* love
your words; your worlds;
it's like i'm,
there. right there,
with you.
you see, i didn't do what you do--
write my story aloud
--when i was fifteen, or even twenty-two
just an inch off the ground
i confided in clouds
stayed lost (was a puff too proud)
that was then, sure, but even today
(it's 11:11, now)
putting any of it down
committing to this word, not that
this sentiment,
not that
this meaning
(and not simultaneously that)
is walking through fire
and so, for leading the way
let me just say,
i love you
and please,
don't ever stop.
Jun 5, 2017
Jun 5, 2017 at 1:25 AM UTC
You shouldn't have told me the truth
Because now I know
How you feel about him
I shouldn't have listened
Or questioned
I wanted to hear
"Yeah I don't really think about him like that anymore"
"I was never into her, my mind was all about you"
I wish that I could take it all back before you said 'I love you'
Before I spoke
Before you both confided in me about how you felt
Not about me
But each other
So here my heart lays
Shattered
Cold
And still
Me scraching at my thoat,
Wishing I never spoke
Oct 4, 2018
Oct 4, 2018 at 12:05 AM UTC
There is a time in every man's education when he arrives at the conviction that envy is ignorance; that imitation is suicide; that he must take himself for better, for worse, as his portion; that though the wide universe is full of good, no kernel of nourishing corn can come to him but through his toil bestowed on that plot of ground which is given to him to till. The power which resides in him is new in nature, and none but he knows what that is which he can do, nor does he know until he has tried. Not for nothing one face, one character, one fact, makes much impression on him, and another none. This sculpture in the memory is not without preestablished harmony. The eye was placed where one ray should fall, that it might testify of that particular ray. We but half express ourselves, and are ashamed of that divine idea which each of us represents. It may be safely trusted as proportionate and of good issues, so it be faithfully imparted, but God will not have his work made manifest by cowards. A man is relieved and gay when he has put his heart into his work and done his best; but what he has said or done otherwise, shall give him no peace. It is a deliverance which does not deliver. In the attempt his genius deserts him; no muse befriends; no invention, no hope.
Trust thyself: every heart vibrates to that iron string. Accept the place the divine providence has found for you, the society of your contemporaries, the connection of events. Great men have always done so, and confided themselves childlike to the genius of their age, betraying their perception that the absolutely trustworthy was seated at their heart, working through their hands, predominating in all their being. And we are now men, and must accept in the highest mind the same transcendent destiny; and not minors and invalids in a protected corner, not cowards fleeing before a revolution, but guides, redeemers, and benefactors, obeying the Almighty effort, and advancing on Chaos and the Dark.
Sep 21, 2014
Sep 21, 2014 at 2:08 PM UTC
Your eyes.
I can't stop writing about them.
I can't stop dreaming about them gleaming like sunlight beaming into the windows of my soul.
And I've been meaning to tell you-
Heighten the blinds.
I can't stop fiending to be the reflection in your infliction
The mirroring of eyes, my line of sight in your line of vision
Our pupils don't just collide, they cause a collision
And uh,
The precision of your gaze fogs all coherency to a haze
And it's seeming
There's a thousand words teeming off the levees of my lips
But you got me in a daze and the waves crash silent
See inside I'm screaming
They say the flames radiated from desire are the fires most violent
And I feel your vibes like radiation;
Hazardous to both mind and body.
Detrimental to the soul.
I believe in whole this is not an illusion
They say the eyes never hide from the truth
-and the truth never lies-
See, I've already eyed your eyes
I'm not convinced this is confusion
I've come to the conclusion that
If I confided in you,
Could you agree it's a delusion
You've been opening the window;
You want to be
Inside.
Dec 3, 2012
Dec 3, 2012 at 4:54 PM UTC
Penny got married young, she idolised her new man
Penny turned 16, said, I do I do, priest wed them both
Penny was happy, never complained to anyone, too shy for that
She crashed a party once, and met a gal named Sally
They became friends
And she confided in her
Shared little secrets, lips sealed, shook their little pinkies, never to tell
Then hubby walked in with curious smile, said you going to stay awhile
I'm not coming back until sunlight, best thing Penny had heard all night
‘Cause her new beau, wasn’t all that he seemed
But only Penny knows so go go go oh no go
Penny get away, far away, go, Penny go
Penny get away, far away, go, Penny go
Feel you hurting beneath, when we cuddle-up
Fooling some, but mommy sees past that makeup
Penny get away, far away, go, Penny go
Penny get away, far away, go, Penny go
Feel you hurting beneath, when we cuddle up
Fooling some, but mommy sees past that makeup
Penny started staying inside, never going past the front gate
Some friends called saying you ok you ok you ok girlfriend
Penny searched websites, looking for a way out, deleting history, nobody got suspicious
While trying to play the good wife, reality started to sink in
Then she thought
Penny get away, far away, go, Penny go
Penny get away, far away, go, Penny go
Feel you hurting beneath, when we cuddle up
Fooling some, but mommy sees past that makeup
Penny get away, far away, go, Penny go
Penny get away, far away, go, Penny go
Feel you hurting beneath, when we cuddle up
Fooling some, but mommy sees past that makeup
And I don't want anyone knowing about the abuse, just in case
I've covered up since day one, swollen face
A nightmare, ever since our honeymoon
Childhood dreams were locked in a cell, but kept them alive and still didn’t tell, even while being slammed unconscious
It's like my security blanket, it's the reason that I'm alive
Everyone has childhood dreams, but most will never survive
They don’t always come true, maybe one out of five, be wise
Believing Hollywood tabloids, that they are still very much together, all lies
So go about your ways, put up with the one, that doesn’t love you anymore and continually hurts us and says sorry, again
Always just after they have, again bruised us
Forgetting about the pain and coverups that were made
Thinking it was just a sleeping nightmare, oh no
Penny get away, far away, go, Penny go
Penny get away, far away, go, Penny go
Feel you hurting beneath, when we cuddle up
Fooling some, but mommy sees past that makeup
Go now, Go now
Penny get away, far away, go, Penny go
Penny get away, far away, go, Penny go
Feel you hurting beneath, when we cuddle up
Fooling some, but mommy sees past that makeup
Go now, Go now
Jan 14, 2020
Jan 14, 2020 at 1:58 AM UTC
In the stillness of the night beyond one can see,
When the expanse holds the stars for my mid-summer’s dreams,
Where only the presence of the birds of the night calms my spirit
And in such stillness fear preys my soul.
I could only find my wellspring of life quenched to aridness,
And only as a mirage such life exists in my being.
I find my thoughts confined in my deeds of shame or rather
Those that the enemy claims, and so
I find my cries being droplets that befriend my cheeks,
To cease and move on is as building a home as a house of sticks.
For in this journey of mine, the storms rage and roar and in such stillness
I only could hear them call-in thy gentle whispers they are as frequent
As the leaves that drop from a tree in fall.
In the stillness of the night- whom do I call?, when all lifelines
Seem to be on hold.
“Hello it is me speaking-do you recognise, Please be patient, please Hold”.
My mind is in ruins; behind cages for life in the desert has no patience.
Only it persists to feed on my soul and lives on my very last breath-
It is to my wonder that life is not the breath and the heartbeat,
For they continue to live even when life is gone.
I look up to the hill for whence my help cometh from,
Such knowledge is as vast as the sky, when only sand dunes are before my eyes.
However, I look up to the hill from whence my help cometh from,
For in such a hill rest my soul and life that has been redeemed.
Rest the life that is orchestrated and moulded into a perfect ornament.
In such a hill, rest a life that is of harmony, that is of melody ,
that the angels stride before because of its music.
In the stillness of the night, when the stars are shining and the moon
Is half asleep. When the flow in rivers walks in silence and only the insects sing.
I now find my thoughts confided in you saviour,
Even in the valley, the arid deserts and the stormy seas.
I find that you are my source of being-even far beyond what I can see.
Jun 14, 2010
Jun 14, 2010 at 8:29 PM UTC
You came to me many times
In distress and in shambles
I held you close and gave comfort
I let you sadly ramble
I was there for you
In loneliness, grief, and success
You were there for me as well
When life gave me the hardest test
But what I could not see
You hid behind a veil
It distorted what I saw
It corrupted that which I felt
This veil of sorts
I would call it a mask
Allowed you to take things from me
As you creaked in from the back
You snuck up behind me
You defiled what I confided
It wasn't my friendship you were after
It was the one that betrayed me in which you were guided
This mask it so blocked
That which I could not see
Your eyes of deceit
And your face as it gleamed
For the one that was not
For the one that was coarse
It gleamed for the one
That one to whom you showed remorse
Of all the time we spent
Bonding and growing
It is with her now
Her now with which you are moaning
In the bed which her and I shared
Many a heated and passionate night
To where my unmentionables were stored
In her body so tight
Live your life with one eye
As it looks out far and beyond
For it is I that will be creaking
Creaking up behind you one morn.
Oct 5, 2012
Oct 5, 2012 at 6:02 AM UTC
Just because you're family
Doesn't mean you have rights to me
My secrets kept
Are just that
They're hidden and swept
Under the rugs from your eyes.
If you find out you'd just call them lies
And there's truth to that plight
Blood hasn't given you the god given right
To have a say in everything in my life
Keep in mind
The things you've confided in me
Without judgement and without confessing
To the rest of the world
Defining
What kind of person I've come to be.
Play your game
Let me play mine
You grew up with me
But you weren't always there to check my vital signs
You weren't there for every bit of time
I collapsed and reached out to find
You weren't there
And I still ended up fine.
Being the youngest of five
Doesn't make me the dumbest one in line.
I learned from the mistakes of four others
To keep my faults under these covers.
Being naive in front of the clan
Is apart of my plan
Blend in and refrain
From voicing opinions that won't be heard anyways.
Just because you're family
Doesn't mean
You own me
So **** off
Or play my game
Jul 15, 2014
Jul 15, 2014 at 1:15 PM UTC
You know what, this is not a love story this time. In this case, it never was. I thought it was, but I was mistaken and lied to by my lonely heart. And For once, I am standing my ground and telling you what you deserve to hear.
**** you.
**** you for making me so dependent on you that I was scared to stand up to you, even though you were cruel to everyone I loved. You may have thought you were cute, you may have thought it was your odd way of love, but it was honestly just an excuse to be an utter ***** to everyone and none of us should have tolerated it.
**** you for competing with me. I am not a competitive person, but you'd laugh and comment how you were better, smarter, more mature. It drove me wild. Not only because your arrogance made me want to drive you into the ground, but also because it made me feel like I had to prove myself to you, brag in front of you, compete with you to feel worthy.
**** you for turning on me at my weakest. Over a boy for god's sakes. I was your best friend, the one you turned to and confided in, and you started to completely disregard me over a boy I had feelings for first. You had no respect for our friendship in any facet, and it made me regret letting you in at all.
**** you for always being at the back of my mind, for being so infuriatingly insidious that I have to always check up on you and worry about you even though you don't deserve it. For doing things that don't make me feel anything but pity and concern for your life, instead of being proud and maybe thinking I could accept you.
**** you for making me want to **** myself. For being the selfish catalyst who showed me the cuts on her legs and made me feel so guilty that I didn't deserve life. Everyone deserves life, even the cruelest of people, and to purposefully make me feel that worthless, just to try to win me back, was the most heartless, selfish, thoughtless thing you could have ever done.
**** you for being similar to me in any frivolous way, because now I am utterly terrified to be anything like you. Obsessive, rude, cruel, thoughtless, and selfish. I fear for my boyfriend, my friends, everyone around me because I know being your friend has given me the capacity to be just as ruthless as you. And I hate you for it.
**** you for making me forget anything pleasurable about our relationship. All I can feel is a burning frustration when I hear your name, or an overwhelming sadness, or endless anger. None of it is pleasant.
**** you for everything you've done to me, and **** the dark part of my heart that exists now because of your knives stabbing me in the back.
**** you for still making me think about you, and **** you for any part of me that is like you.
I'm done with you. This is the end. Its ******* over.
And just remember.
**** you.
May 21, 2015
May 21, 2015 at 11:56 PM UTC
i no longer have the time,
to coddle the feelings of others
who have disregarded the emotions
i have confided
i no longer have the will,
to beg for the love of people
who don't deserve mine...
i no longer have the heart,
to hold on to, and give my all to
someone, who will
not give even a fraction to me
i no longer have the patience
to apologize for things
that are not my fault
i am growing out of the mindset,
to be upset.
to rant and to rave.
to hurt, and to hold grudges.
to be petty,
and to strain my heart.
... my patience has run thin for those types of things
..... and for things of that such
Dec 9, 2018
Dec 9, 2018 at 8:22 PM UTC
How do I go on?
You claimed to be my White Knight
Your words not mine
I felt a disconnect and knew you would break my heart
I tried to break it off
These words I said
I love you deeply
You my soul mate
The response was the same
Your words
You are my soul mate
We were so happy
Happily ever after type
You begged me not to leave
Called me your lifeline
I would have given up everything
Just to be in your arms
A picture of you
Shared only with me
So I thought
You said only me
Only me
We were a secret
You didn't want others jealous
But everyone knew
You get to the airport
Tell me it's just me, only me
My friend talked of you
I confided in her of Us
A letter arrives
You cut me to pieces for telling her
Telling her we were Us
You were my White Knight
I was your lifeline
Pulling you from the brink
Soul mates
Stars aligned
I will never know
You would never tell
The picture partly a clue
You sent it to her too
Dumped me for saying you loved me to her
She was our friend
Only a friend you said
Then why
why all this pain
I saved you
You almost killed me
I saved it all you know
Every word, phrase, poem
The pain unbearable
You had to know
I would try to end my life
Your lifeline would be dead
Nothing but silence from you
One day out of the blue you show again
Say you still love me
Still desire me
What were you thinking
After all that time
Just needed your lifeline again
Then what
Disappear after
What you did White Knight
Was inexcusable, cruel, vindictive
You swore you would be back
I would see you again
You might as well have been the knife
Sliding across my skin
This time you succeeded
Severing all ties
Bet you didn't think it would go this far
No longer your soul mate
Your lifeline gone
All because our friend's feelings were hurt
You could have done better
Should have done more
Now I am gone forever
They buried me today
Our friends were there
But not you
Not even then would you show
Jan 31, 2015
Jan 31, 2015 at 2:07 PM UTC
I remember the jaw dropping moment of you walking into creative writing for the first time.
I remember passing notes daily
I remember the first time we went downtown with our drunkard friend.
I remember sitting in the cold in front of the pond and listening to you ramble.
I remember how happy I was.
I remember how hard I tried to impress you.
I remember it all like it was yesterday.
I remember you going missing from class.
I still remember the stomach churning worry that came with it.
I remember you coming back just to leave again
I remember the years we didn't talk. They were lonely.
I remember seeing you go the first time in forever.
I remember sitting in that swing and holding back tears as I confided in you about how sad I was.
I remember the absence of you again.
I remember sitting at the bus stop talking to you before I had to work.
I remember the night you had a small get together and invited me.
I remember how hard I smiled for the first time in years.
I remember coming over and spending the night with you.
I remember the ****** tension.
I remember laying in bed and inching closer.
I remember how cold your lips were when I kissed you for the first time.
I remember rolling around in bed naked and taking candid pictures of one another.
I remember being officially unofficial.
I remember walking to and fro my house to yours.
I remember you playing guitar.
I remember vaping until we were dizzy.
I remember you getting the text from your ex
I remember losing you to your ex
I remember the devastation.
I remember still seeing you daily.
I remember how awkward it was.
I remember you telling me you wanted to be with me.
I remember then running to meet you half way.
I remember hugging you as if to pull you into my body.
I remember him losing his spot by your side.
I remember fighting.
I remember hating it.
I remember still seeing you and talking things out.
I remember kissing late into the night.
God I remember so much.
I remember going downtown with Dessi.
I remember realizing how deeply I love you.
I remember the pain of missing a night by your side, it's like a bruise on the bottom of my foot.
I remember all the days I spent keeping you company at work.
I remember getting pulled over with you in the car.
I remember the look of dread.
I remember with no regrets.
I remember your smell from 4500 miles away.
I will remember and cherish every second we spend at one another's side.
And with all these memories behind us in such short time
I know that when I turn my head back to watch my steps I'll see all we have to look foreword to.
Aug 12, 2015
Aug 12, 2015 at 12:00 AM UTC
I opened my eyes once just to see if his were shut as tight as mine.
I could tell by the way he moved, how angry he was with her.
It was nothing between him and I.
It was pure emotion we couldn’t express to each other without imitating the act of making love.
We were the only ones left there for the other
or maybe we were just there.
Probability.
I do not love him.
…but he breathed like you. Kissed like you.
He was built like you, cried like you.
I hope you understand.
It was my only release.
It was not affection for each other that drove us into such a passionate entanglement but the restrained love we had for each of you.
The Anger. The Sadness. The Loneliness.
We were open journals,
and we filled each other with feelings that words could not express.
…I missed you so much.
He’s the only one who could ever understand how much I did.
While our bodies were dripping with shame,
what else could we have done?
I felt his feelings for her and they broke my heart.
There was no stopping.
The tighter he held,
the softer he whimpered,
the more it pulled me in.
The more I understood the less alone I felt.
This dismal place became less painful.
I was not out to hurt you.
It did not bloom from spite or revenge.
Not for you.
While his body did grind into mine,
I felt the pain of his anatomy and I used it against myself.
His body was my only way to repair and destroy myself all at once.
It was pleasurable due to the dream I had woven into it,
and I could feel his muscles forgiving me.
Forgiving her.
I wonder what he felt come from mine.
Relief, I hope.
Once the sweat and tears had dried,
and our bodies lay throbbing and limp
there was a sense of calm neither of us had ever experienced.
Although I’ll never be able to tell you how I feel,
I know I confessed everything I could that day with my writhing
and with my heat.
It was all for you.
Even though we did not let it happen through love or adoration
it was not meaningless.
Our souls confided in and approved of our scene.
That’s all I needed.
For it to be known I did not cheat.
I did not cheat you and I did not cheat myself.
Now, I don’t think I could love you as much as I do now had it not happened.
I found us that day.
Buried beneath years reconstruction and restriction.
More importantly, I found myself.
Lodged in between the freezing of time and heartache.
I’ll miss my innocence, but not my ignorance.
I opened my eyes just to see if his eyes were shut as tight as mine.
I had never felt so utterly complete.
Oct 26, 2012
Oct 26, 2012 at 11:18 PM UTC
I speak to the trees about my qualms; knowing they will keep them rooted and hidden from the world above.
I cry with the rain about my dysphoria; so that it's curved drops might cleanse me and wash away any anguish.
I whisper to the burning fire about my desires; so that they may ignite and transform into something unquenchable.
I confide in the wind about my loneliness; so that it might blow someone onto my path so that I would be given a reply to all the things the trees, rain, fire, and wind have heard but could never give me an answer.
Apr 27, 2014
Apr 27, 2014 at 3:19 PM UTC
I was abused literally and pushed aside by teacher
He was in rage to see me when I tried to enter
He might have some grievances in mind to nurture
As I was doing fare in studies and position was assured
I was really ashy boy but excellent in pick up
I heard attentively and was cheered with thumb up
His behavior as teacher made great impact in mind
I might have taken it lightly if he was harsh or unkind
It is customary to show little disrespect to the poor students
Some of the discourtesy is extended with inferior comments
I was unable to think further but bore a grudge permanently
I remember those abusive remarks and resisted him once vehemently
I thought and rethought about such behavior
As teacher he would have been considerate and held honor
I became reserved from that day and decided to keep silent
As it was now known to me that best way is to offer no comment
In social circle too certain disliking exist for people
It may be more intensive when they are incapable
Not in financial capacity to move forward and compete
Live under their dominance and agree to submit
I remained firm in approach but turned away from close contacts
I kept good will at heart and prayed for their well being in fact
This gave me enough of strength to observe them from distance
I was taken little note of and none observed my presence
I return gesture with kind words and remain aloof
I have enough of strength financially as single proof
They dare not to see me with inferiority and pull down
As I have established of my own and became powerfully known
I wish that same kind of maltreatment is not shown
To children who are unfortunate of having means of their own
They are really asset to us and builder of future generation
How can we be indifferent when question of building nation comes?
I have known some of the people getting blinded
By sudden arrival of fortune and secretly confided
Their common sense gets unnatural boost to reveal
The arrogance is reflected and shown with no efforts to conceal
Dec 9, 2011
Dec 9, 2011 at 7:48 AM UTC
"Do you want to talk about it?"
You ask, seeing my impassive face.
It's been a while, and though I could
Remembering feels out of place.
Recollecting just makes it hurt.
Forming the words again is hard-
They're overused; now they sound curt.
In too many I've confided
To too many people I've told
All my sorry, deep, dark 'secrets'
Some warmed me when I was too cold.
I wish I could say more to you,
Explain why it's not escaping
Sometimes it's nice to not talk,
Than to break what I'm now shaping.
Nov 8, 2016
Nov 8, 2016 at 6:23 AM UTC
There’s a picture perfect
moon in the sky and
all I can think about is
you
(which doesn’t make sense
because the moon in the heavens and
all the stars in the galaxy have
nothing to do with you and I).
I think it’s because it was you who I
told all my secrets to,
you who I confided in—I think it’s because
I trusted you.
Sometimes I look up at the cosmos and
wonder what type of angel she is
and then I wonder if I ever told you
my deep, dark thoughts about
what happened.
I can’t remember.
My mind is as thick and heavy
as my tongue feels—
fog
everywhere and I cannot see
where I am going, much less
where I have come from.
There’s something inside of me that,
like a caged dog, is awaiting to be
unlocked from its restraining bars and
I don’t know where to start talking without
sounding like an absolute madman.
I think that this poem has transformed from
a few lines about you to
a few lines about her and to be honest,
I don’t remember the last time
I wrote about her
(but I guess I should try).
I was a child when I first went to bed
and a teenager as I turned in my sleep—
we could be twins, she and I,
with our closed eyes, and
visions of stars at night and
pale complexions like
the sand on the beach basking
in the glow of the hanging moon.
I wonder if she met Samael.
I wonder if he was nice.
They told me how much I looked like her;
they gushed about how we had the
same personality, same sense of humor,
but I didn’t want to hear a word they said—
I don’t think I could stand to look
myself in the mirror if that were true
because it would be a constant reminder of
her
and I don’t want to be reminded.
I think that we all start off as angels and
that somehow we end up here,
bound down to a life full of interactions
and paths to cross and plans to make;
I think that we all finish as angels and
that somehow we end up there,
no longer a single form and single being,
we become infinite once more.
But then I remember that even Lucifer,
himself, once wore white wings and I think
that sometimes we’re no better than him—
that I’m no better than him.
I hope Raphael can fix us and
I pray that Uriel can set us straight
because in this aphotic world, I want
to be able to see straight down into
into the abyss.
I want to see you through unbiased eyes and
hear you through impartial ears the way
that I used to be able to until that night
outside your house.
I want to tell you all of these things I think
about the two of us—
all these things I think about my
mother
and that night and those days
in which it happened.
Just please don’t clip my wings.
Sep 17, 2013
Sep 17, 2013 at 11:57 PM UTC
Weather you ride motorbike
Or play the guitar
Weather you fight in the war
Or ride threw the stars
Weather you hide in the bars
Escape from the gloom
Weather your scared of the dark
Or confided to a room
Weather your the brain with a spark
Or a ****** addict
The drunk in the park
Or work at a medical practice
What im trying to say the common factor is human. Embrace move on no run nore race.
When life maybe be boomin. Grab a mirror look into your face and consider your place.
Quick to judge with no room for a thought
Quick to condemn no room for them sort
Society tells us where different.but im telling you where equal.
Put everything a side and see that where people.
Jul 9, 2013
Jul 9, 2013 at 1:03 PM UTC
shuffling papers together into a pile,
you look like you’ve run a mile.
in such a hurry of what you’re looking for
that you forget what you’re pushing ashore.
papers strewn across the table
gathered in a fit of labor;
you’re in a hurry to chase the next high
but are you really? or are you really just chasing flies?
i am the paper that slips out of your grip.
i am the paper that hangs off the tip.
the floor beckons my fall,
the drop becomes a call.
a call for help, yet a call ignored
as you left me on the side as though i am nothing more.
(maybe its because i mention death like a prayer.)
i am the paper that idles by.
i am the paper that was hung out to dry.
you’ve purposely left me behind.
you’ve shoved me aside blind.
i trusted in you therefore i am blind.
when you confided in me, i was kind.
(maybe you were hurt by my actions.)
i am the paper sitting silently.
i am the paper binging on anxiety.
pick me up again and i’d be useful.
use me again although it may be cruel.
i don’t like the feeling of being abandoned.
it makes me feel like i’m a loose cannon.
(maybe your dead stares makes me ill.)
i am the paper that flew with the wind
i am the paper you seem to have skimmed
i am an afterthought, i think to myself a lot.
i am being overlooked like a blind spot.
i am forgotten just as easily.
you’ve gotten rid of me, finally!
(maybe i should scratch until i bleed today.)
i am the paper that is facing down.
i am the paper that is close to breaking down.
i wear a mask that is always cracking.
because i am done pretending.
pretending that everything is okay.
pretending that i am sane when i’m being put on display.
(maybe i should be punished for thinking this way.)
i am the paper that flew into the mud.
i am the paper that is drenched in my own blood.
i am weak but i am not.
i am strong but i think not.
i am tired but i am trying.
i am trying but i am dying.
(maybe my death will prove that i am right.)
i am an afterthought that is being forgotten
and i know its a lot for you
but if you ever think me rotten,
tell me now because i am not willing to be the paper
that was made out of spun cotton:
valuable until deemed unimportant,
helpful until easily forgotten.
(maybe I can finally sleep tonight.)
i am an afterthought that is being forgotten
and i know its a lot for you
but its a lot for me too.
Mar 4, 2018
Mar 4, 2018 at 9:07 AM UTC
Syn has always been my friend
I always confided in him.
Temptation; a bully
a brutal lying enemy
Tired of his attacks
attempts to **** me
Maybe I’ll surrender
Back out, give in
Acceptance will start
The madness will end
Surely, he’ll step off
If I just let him win!
Sep 8, 2014
Sep 8, 2014 at 12:53 PM UTC
You need to reach out
- that's what I was told
I confided in a number of people
Sat across a lot of wise spectacles
Sympathetic coffees
Blank invites
Dispassionate loves
You need medication
- that's what I was told
I popped a number of pills
Over months,
White, long
Yellow, small
A number of nights
Crazy eyes,
Erratic behaviour
Strange moodswings
You need a change of scenery
- That's what I was told
Miles and miles of sand
A sea extending into the sky
My heart became the feather
That landed on waves
And sank
Far below
The understanding of humanity
Went to the hills
Stream flowing by
Which iced over at night
Bare apple orchards
Green and stone
Woke up at 4 AM
From where I stood,
I couldn't see the sunrise
My spirits
Shattered and fell
Along with some rocks
Off the cliff's sheer face
As I ended up
On my hands and knees
You need to meditate
- that's what I was told
Pure silence at 4 AM
That's what I woke up to
And I sat for an hour everyday
Trying to focus on
The "om" I was told about
With the last echo
I was left bereft of purpose
Vision and energy
I couldn't move on
With the day
Oct 24, 2014
Oct 24, 2014 at 10:21 AM UTC