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368 · Jun 2015
If I Smile
Then so will you, right?

If I smile people will think im okay
If I smile they won't ask me what's wrong
If I smile maybe I'll believe im okay
If I smile the troubles of the world are washed away
If I smile the darkness knows to keep it's distance
If I smile then world becomes a beautiful place
If I smile then you won't cry
If I smile you won't lay sleepless in worry for me each night
If I smile...It would mean I'd've remembered how to...
This smile of mine may be fake
But I'm smiling for you
Everything is fine
Now you have a goodnight okay? Haha good girl
If it's enough to convince you I'm okay...It's doing It's job
368 · Apr 2015
*Insert Title*
Forced offline, I lay in thought,
The hardest things, leaving you distraught.
I would stall if I could, stall if I might,
I would give it all to have you in sight.
~
My parents know, they see it all,
They lay in worry, for how far I might fall.
I guess you never really know quite what to say,
You do all you can to keep the darkness at bay.
~
You're ****** if you do, ****** if you don't,
I shan't tell you a lie, I promised I won't.
I need you to realise that this is no good,
No matter what, if I could be there I would.
~
In my mother, who lay sleepless in worry,
We both know we won't sleep in a hurry.
Don't worry for me, this is who I am,
I know I can't save the day as if I'm fireman Sam.
~
I'm not broken nor depressed, I am simply upset,
The last thing I need is for others to fret.
Know deep down I am still that same boy,
He's just having trouble expressing his joy...
~
I can fill up this page, fill it with meaningless words,
Watch as my mind, flies away with the birds.
I am fine, truly. I'll make it through this all,
Whether we finish together...guess that isn't my call.
~
Know that I am conflicted and torn,
Such things don't change at the start of each dawn.
I'll endeavour to sort myself out in time,
Perhaps stop crying like I've committed some hideous crime.
365 · Jun 2015
Mark of Death
Death whispered in her ear,
but no one could hear what she was thinking.
Did they even care?
Something she had on her skype...
I just cant anymore...
365 · Jul 2017
Butterfly Wings
Theres something about the way,
Something so perfect and pure,
Can simply cease to exist,
Just you left, nothing to say.
~
You're free, spread your wings,
To somewhere unknown you fly,
With no direction you're lost,
Just getting over the little things.
~
Hurt by that which was once ours,
Struggling to stay above,
Each breath dissipating,
This butterfly flew with *scars.
Just trying to stay afloat
365 · Aug 2015
Far From Perfect
I am far from perfect
As far from perfect as I am from you

I am tall
More over im intimidating and imposing, it just means I have further to fall

I am not at all bright
Lacking common sense I can never see the answer written in plain sight

I have a massive heart
Its worn on my sleeve. Vulnerable to everything, forever abused and falling. apart

I am far from perfect,
As far from it as I am to *you
So why is it you're perfect to me, but we can't find a way to make it the other way round?
362 · Jun 2015
Words Hurt
You said you loved me and I smiled like never before.

You said I was an idiot and I never held it against you.

You said I was the sweetest boy on this earth and I blushed so hard my cheeks hurt.

You said I was stupid and I sighed inside knowing it was true.

You thanked me for being there for you and taking care of you and I said you needn't thank me.

You said I hate you.... I broke down and cried...

I hate me, not you.
I never know if you mean the words you say...
362 · Jun 2015
Yo-Yo
My life is a yo-yo
Forever up and down
One second here
The next I am there

Like one
I rely on others to bring me back up
Cant function on my own

My life is a yo-yo* in which others have ahold of the string
Dont toy with me too much
The threads of this string are frayed as they are
Cause up and down I go

*My life is a yo-yo
361 · Jun 2015
You
You
You* are my definition of perfection
You are the reason I smile, at the single thought of you
You are beautiful
You are talented
You are sweet and sincere and all that comes with
You are funny and know how to have fun
You are adorable when youre tired and cute in between

I think the part I love most about you, in my own selfish way...is that you are mine

We are forever
We are as much a couple as we are a team. "The Dream Team"
We are perfectly fit together, you and I
We are able to work through it all
We are forever and always

You are not some toy, you are not a trophy in the sense I own you but I feel like a winner everytime I look at you because I feel honor to have you and that we becomes *us
360 · Apr 2015
They Don't Know You
I've seen these so called friends
I've seen the way they treat you.
These people are not your friends
They dont deserve you.
~
When others look at you they see,
A broken you.
A sensitive you.
A fragile you.
A immature you.
They think you're a child...

I know you better than anyone.
I know of your strengths and talents,
Of your perfect imperfections,
Of your beauty inside and out,
~
Don't let the words of others
Cloud your mind, persuade your judgement.
If you can't find solace in my words...
Then what am i to you?
Not much in the way of a poem im sure, but i feel and i hope others can relate
359 · Jun 2015
In Words We Feel Pain
No words on a page nor words aloud can make up for this,
In such times, I long to have that first kiss.
Boy I ****** up, failed you one last time,
Now this guiltiness inside proves I committed the crime.

By now I have, upset who I love most,
But yay to moving on, let us praise it in toast.
Oh wait, this is no time for good cheer,
When I ****** up big time, and failed you my dear.

I am a two face, I see it clear as day,
It goes against everything I do and the words that I say.
Im not a liar, I am a monster inside,
I know this, by the tears you have cried.

If you can take me, and love me right now,
I'll make it up to you, I don't care how.
You are all I care for most on this Earth,
The flames of my love burn bright from this hearth.
We all make mistakes and are to learn from them.
Not once but twice tonight have I ruined it all.
Wouldnt count that as learning but then who am I to talk.
This time is worse, far greater than before, Imma a lover not a fighter but ill fight all and all to keep you.
359 · May 2015
Rhymes On a Page
Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
I've written many a poems,
And they're all for you
~
I've let out my heart, said all that I *feel
,
Prove to them all my feelings are real.
I have hopes one day you'll see what I've wrote,
Maybe I'll present it like a cute love note.
~
You would agree, we've seen good and bad,
My loyalty never wavers, even when we're mad.
No matter how many times uttered, "I love you" means the most,
I'm sure I've shown it enough times in these poems I post.
~
My love is soppy, its cliché but you accept me for me,
You're the only one ever to love everything no matter what it may be.
To feel loved as you are is the greatest gift,
Such sweet words that warm my heart as off to sleep I drift.
~
You see my dear, rhyming is easy and I could forever,
All to proclaim this love to you is my only endeavor.
You yelled at me last night but kissed me this morn,
All those problems fade and unto this world I'm reborn.
~
By now everyone can see just how clingy my persons is,
For my heart separated from you is left in a tiz.
Everything works itself out in the end,
I'll see your gorgeous smile around the bend.
~
*I'll go for now and I will return in time,
You'll see me here whenever my heart conjures up a rhyme
I fought, I gave my all and by now I'm sure I've escaped the dark hole that held me captive. My poems have changed yes and in the end I post what I want. I hope now that perhaps theyre not relate but you can find a smile or warmth from my words.
To my girl
I'll show you all of these one day.
358 · Aug 2015
Love Is
"Love is a promise,
Love is a souvenir,
Once given, never forgotten.
Never let it disappear
"
Famous words of John Lennon
357 · Jul 2017
Right Now
Try as I will,
Try as I might.
I've already accepted,*
*I can't win this fight.
353 · Jun 2015
Wallbreaker
I dont think I can quite give you the Image in my head..
The nightmares that plague my tired mind

They haunt me, terrify me and leave me clenching my throat for air
There are many but only few get me this way

There you are, myself trapped behind transparent glass...
I bang
I scream
...the only thing that seems to break is me...

I can only watch on as the horrors of your past unfold and the pain in my chest worsens and worsens
I gasp for air trying to control my own dreams, if thats what they really are
My knuckles are ****** my eyes swollen but I still cant break the glass
I slump to my knees sobbing and whimpering, broken beyond repair

I awake in the morning, my body still trembling
You are the first person I talk
Yet I smile, pretend like nothing would ever be out of the norm'

I can break down many walls, you broke mine, I let you in and it was never a mistake
You broke down the walls I threw up to "protect myself" when all it was, was to shut the world out
I could never thank you enough
So why...can I not break the one wall in front of me..?

*At night I lay awake
Tossing and turning
Forcing myself awake to distract from the sadness in my head
One day I will save you
One day I will be there
One day...I'll get away from these nightmares...
Oh dear god, sweet child of mine...
How do you cope with your nightmares?
The thought of losing you breaks me down,
But the thought of you hurt shatters me...

Even in my dreams, I cant do the one thing I wanted from the start...
To be...there..
349 · Apr 2015
"Awe"
Lend me your ears and hear me out

Have you ever, just stopped where you are?
To gaze at the sky and be taken aback.
To find the beauty in every star,
Relieve the moments on our data track.
~
I looked up to the sky in awe
~
I found happiness in what i saw,
The beauty in the simplicity of it all.
A genuine smile crept from my jaw.
The perfection in something so small.
~
I looked up to the sky in awe
~
The deep blue contrasts these pure angelic clouds,
My shirt and hair flow about the breeze.
I feel alive, that darkness now no longer enshrouds,
The opportunity in this moment I am to seize.
~
I look up to the sky in awe*

I feel *alive
347 · Sep 2015
Courage
Having it
Means doing what I should have done
Along time ago
I can't bear to do it to you...
But itd be for the best...right?
339 · Jun 2015
Is This It?
This is it...
...My lowest point.

I have nothing left in me
You'd understand why, if only you could see...

My body is trembling,
My hands, they shake...
I cant take this feeling, my stomach twisting
Any second longer and I'll break...

"don't come..." "I don't want you..."  "I'll be gone by then..."

The words shocked me to my core...
Its the only thing we've wanted is to be together
So why does he say this make me want to be there more...?
Yet im having to wait 3 more weeks

Its been 3 months and we need it now more than ever...
Now shes broken and pretending she is fine
She doesnt want to see me at all, not now just never...
That fake smile and persona only works to break me more

I have been broken to my very deepths....
Away with despair take me...
I would do anything to numb the pain...
336 · Apr 2015
Is This Goodbye?
We've* had our ups,
We've had our downs.
We've shed tears to fill cups,
We've felt our heart as it pounds.
~
Everyday i feel i lose you a little more,
To feel you slowly slip away.
I no longer know what part of me is sore,
This lonely feeling of disarray.
~
You are my everything,
You're all i ever need.
But now, i hold you on a fragile string,
I feel time is running out with incredible speed.
~

*I've broken all too many times to count, but i'll never break in front of her, the result will be far worse than now, so i remain as strong as i can...for her <3
To sit there and watch helpless
for the one you love
because of this thing called "distance" and knowing
nothing you say helps...yea im hurting but i live on...
329 · Jun 2015
Dear Me #4
Sorry I havent been writing
To you much

Ive been so busy
Caught in a timeless rift
Sorting out my hectic mind
Chaotic life

How have you been holding up?

...oh... You could tell I was lying...?
I guess its true...
You know me better than
Anyone else

Ive...
Just not known quite what
To say
To you

You forgive me right?
I dont know what
Id do
If you couldnt forgive me

Hang in there,
Sincerely
Me
328 · Apr 2015
Eternity
There is a lock to my heart.
You alone have the key.
It shall forever remain yours until death do us part.
A symbol, a metaphorical resemblance of what you mean to me.
For you my love
324 · Jul 2017
I
I
Am so truly
Deeply sorry
I cannot say it enough
321 · Jun 2015
It's all....
Just too much for me...
...Where do I turn?
How do I express my mind...?
...What is there left inside?
321 · Apr 2015
Thy Saviour
What be that, laying far on the horizon?
Something small and something far,
A sight to behold, as if a ptisan,
Oh how I wonder what you are.

A scintillating angelic light

Here you stand before me the essence of thy saviour
You have cared for me, when I had not,
I wish to apologize for my misbehaviour.
I was forever caught in a lover's knot.

You stood by me, stricken with worry
I see the error of my ways,
In this im truly sorry
I'll find a way to make it up to you in these coming days.

*I love you, my mother, like you, there is no other
Let your heart rest, and your mind relax, when all you wanted for me was simply the best
You have not worry no longer, now thanks to you, I am stronger
Forever and always your sweet sweet child,
In essence and soul I love you,
I love you my mother
320 · Jun 2015
Words Stay
These words these feelings they burn inside,
I cant take them so I run and hide.
I act on impulse not rational thought,
Saying stupid things for all I wrought.

I regret every word and can't take them back now,
Wishing I'd never said nothing as if I knew how.
Stupid mistrakes, one after another to you,
Sorry isnt enough to console my boo...

I bash myself as you do too, I feel bad,
When you're the one who ends up sad.
You don't do this to me, don't blame you,
Its my fault here and the things that I *do.
Be careful with words they burn like fire
never say something unless you mean it
and never say it knowing you'll regret it
319 · Jun 2015
Open To Interpretation
I looked into myself and asked myself what I thought to be love.
I ask myself this because others have asked me and at the time you never seem to know.

Love in my eyes

Love is falling so far over someone you never know if youll ever see the bottom

Love is that feeling you get when they cross into your mind and youre left breathless

Love is the pain and lonliness you feel when you are disconnected from this person/or in turn the pain you feel not being able to be with that person.

Love is when that person is on your mind all day, unable to shake them until you rest your tired eyes to sleep and even in your dreams theyre there to

Love is unconditional and you never seem to notice the flaws in anyone, that is not to say there are none, but you love them enough to find beauty even in the biggest scars

"love is like the wind, you cant see it but you can feel it and you will always know when its there"

Love is a beautiful thing and this is just a few of the things in which love means to me

What is love to you?
Obviously this is mere opinion and Im sure you can find holes in which you thought this or that, please, feel free to post below if you agree, or better yet if you disagree.
Let me know what you think love is, what it looks and feels like to you.
We're all different
312 · Apr 2015
You & What Right?
You* insult me...

You don't know her life
You don't her pain.
You have caused all this strife
I know not of what you hope to gain.
~
On what grounds, have you the right
To act in such a way?
To consistently start this fight?
Put her in such dismay.
~
You insult me
~
To turn her against even me,
against her own person...
Oh! How i wish you could see
No matter what, things always worsen
To not be able to convince someone of your opinion is standard fact.
You should never feel the need to.
However when everyone around "her" does nothing but break her and destroy her confidence and trust..
How am i, one person to persuade her she is not this monster, that she really is these things i so passionately believe?
311 · Jul 2017
Untitled
I've sat on this blank page
For quite some time
Just trying to come up with*
A half decent rhyme

All just to say,
I cant take this ******* **** anymore
I cant deal with this feeling anymore, I wish I could stop thinking and talking myself  out of things
308 · Jun 2015
You know
You mightn't be perfect

You never had to

I just needed you to be you,
Cause you may not be perfect

*But you're perfect to me
Inspired by "Hers"
Beautiful theme/idea, just took it and applied it to what ive already told my girl
306 · Sep 2015
Attempt No. ??
Try if I will,
Try if I might.
No matter how far I venture,
Theres no end in sight.
~
Try if I will,
Try if I might.
Theres nothing left in me,
With in which I can fight.
~
Try if I will,
Try if I might.
Wish there was someone here,
To save me from the fading light.
~
Try if I will,
Try if I might.
No matter how loud I scream,
*Theres no one to hear my plight.
When will our hell end...
306 · Jul 2015
When It All Falls
Where will you be..?*

Tell me brave knight,
As the path in front of you became twisted
Did you falter?
When the skies turned puce, withered
Scattered. Were you afraid?

Along you rode, high and mighty
To what did you find nearing the end
Nothing but trials
Tribulations, set before you to prove your worth
Was it here that your spirit died?

Loves hate that burns inside
How long before you were choked on your own tears?
Before your darkest of fears stripped your honour
As the ground beneath you began to break and vanish
Did you wish to turn and run? You continued
As everything around you fell to the
Dark abyss, can you say you remained strong?

As it all fell
Where were you?
Tell me brave knight...
After it all, would you keep pushing forward?
A story of hope, loyal to the end. The knight would face every obstacle in his path, if it meant reaching his damsel in the end.
292 · Jun 2015
They were wrong
They told me Id want what I couldn't have.
But they were wrong.

They told me I was never good enough for anyone.
But they, were wrong.

They said Id achieve nothing in life.
But they, were...wrong.

They called me "skin and bone" the "skeleton king" telling me I couldnt lift  twig.
But...they were, wrong.

They teased I was gay and that I has more chance with men than women.
But, they were wrong.

They told me people were kind to one another, that we are respectful.
But they were wrong...

They taught me to treat others how I wanted to be treated.
Guess I was wrong

They taught me to love and to give never to recieve.
*Guess you were wrong
292 · May 2015
Yours
There is a darkness in this place,
I am sworn your protector.
These evils afflict without a trace,
I am truly yours, never a defector.
The world can be cruel,
It can be cold and unforgiving.
We all need someone there for us when we cant be strong.
Someone to hold our hand and lead us through the tough times.
This world can be cruel,
It can be cold...
But It brought me to you... Life is full of surprises
290 · Oct 2015
Skin Deep?
They say
"Beauty is only skin deep"
But
I don't believe that

I say
"You are beautiful inside, and out"
But
That's because
*I love you
You're the most magnificent girl I've ever seen, and only I know you for who you are, skin deep or not. You are beauty-full
276 · Aug 2015
What Happened...
To you,
To me,
To us...?
Are we really forever?
275 · Dec 2015
Forever, and After
272 · Jun 2015
Life Without You (10w)
Would be a living nightmare and one not worth living
I love you my dear, you are my everything and life without you just isnt worth it.
Stay with me forever?
269 · Jun 2015
How Would You Feel?
You ever wished upon a star and hoped to be somewhere else?
Ever wished you could have a certain something?

For those who might'nt understand let me paint something in you:

You are a wonderful person. You're not the popular kid but people love you and who you are. You have a bubbly and friendly personality. People love to be around you and you love to be around others.
The love of your life loves you with all they have in theirs. They mean the world to you and you would do anything for them.
But, when things seemed great they became ill or they became really upset. What are you to do? You are their partner who would do anything.
You'd stay by their side, you'd hold them close and tell them it's gonna be okay and do all you can to support them....right?

What if you couldnt? What if you had to sit from afar knowing how they feel or their suffer and be powerless to help or console them?
If you couldnt stay by their side, couldn't hold them tight and reassure them...?

I can't...and those who know the pain know the struggle
But
We work everyday to make it work
No matter what, at any cost
We make it work.
Thank you to those who read it all.
It doesn't make much sense i know
the ramblings of a mad man but long distance relationships (which i hoped you picked up on here) are the hardest of things. But this day and age anything is possible and love is love. Unconditionally
269 · Aug 2015
Your Funeral
Tell me once
I won't listen

Tell me twice
I will shake my head

Tell me a third time
I will glare at you and get angry

Tell me a fourth
I will start yelling at you

Tell a fifth and final time*
*I will snap and tell you to shut the **** up and leave me alone and to explain on what grounds you would have the right
I know how much pain she causes
I know how unhealthy you think my relationship is
I know its not cliché love
But its my relationship founded upon love regardless of what was said or done.
Tell me to leave her and she's no good for me one more time....
266 · Sep 2015
Realization
6 months we played our parts,
Choosing to play with the fullest extent of our hearts.
How I ever did you so wrong,
Keeping you from happiness for so long.
~
Each night when we lay down to rest,
It was the loneliness that became our true test.
I've tested your love all too many times,
Each time, my heart for you, chimes.
~
How many times have I mistreated thee?
Vision going blurry, its difficult to see.
I need to find a means of showing you,
My love and affection for you is true.
~
I never intended to be a monster like this,
Flowed from my lips did this as we kiss.
If only I could make up for it all...
No longer can I sit here and *stall...
I could never apologize for
who I am
What I've done
What I've said
Will I ever make it okay...?
263 · Jun 2015
It is...
Right when I need you most...
You're not there...
In front of me you lay asleep and there is no way im waking you...
I'll cry as quietly as I can...
I don't wish to disturb you...
Sorry...
Im weak...
259 · Jun 2015
Skyfall
I wonder when heaven has died,
The skies are all falling,
Im breathing but why?

In silence I hold on,
To you and I.
257 · Jun 2015
~
~
I wish I was kissing you
Instead of missing you
I need you...
253 · Sep 2015
Sorrow filled words
Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
Too much has happened,
Nothing is true.*

I dont feel pain,
Nor am I hurt.

I dont feel anger,
Nor am I mad.

I feel sadness,
For I am upset.

I feel dissapointment,
For I realised,
Nothing lasts forever...
What will happen to me now?
My parents happy marriage is no more
So to are they as "them", what am I to do...?
246 · Jul 2015
Simply Put
I would rather die
Then be who I am
Like hell anyone would want to be this type of guy
Who couldn't conjure up a single ****

Please end my miserable existence here and now
Wipe me clean from everyone's mind
It doesn't even matter, I don't care how
**** me for the greater good of *mankind
241 · Aug 2015
What Have I Done...?
I'm so sorry...
I didn't mean to... just...did
238 · Jul 2015
All It Takes (Haiku)
Three simple words hardly spoken
Is all thats needed to fix this
Why won't you say them...
227 · Aug 2015
Please...
... Don't ...
... Hate ...
... Me ...

... I did what I had to do ...
I am so sorry...
220 · Jun 2015
Anti-Me
"You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain"

No Prince Charming stays a knight in shining armour for long.
I saved you, but then again I didn't...

Hell we have some great memories, fond and everlasting
Boy do we have horror to our story, saddening and dark

I was once your hero, I did and still would fight for you
Bringing you from a place of darkness and into light
Funny it should be that Im the one to put you back there

You throw up walls and shut me out
There is no way I can help what Ive done like that
But when I wasnt helping and hurt you in the first place
Why would you want me of all people inside your walls?
I so quickly, roll reverse and become the anti-me

Funny how everything I hated in others and vowed and aimed to do the opposite, are the same things in which ive become.
Said id never snap at her, I did
Said id never be upset with her, within reason I was
Said I wouldnt leave, I have
Said id do whatever i could to be there and help, but im here not

It'll never be enough to make up for really anything
Yet in saying that, I mean it with everything
I really am sorry
I love you
I forgive you always
*I want to be with you through everything no matter what
If I ever
210 · Aug 2015
I can't
**** it
Just **** it all
I'm done
202 · Dec 2015
Your Top
Whenever Im grieving
Upset
Hurt you
Sleepless and restless
Tired
Crying
Lonely

I can be found in your top
It keeps me warm
Safe
Happy
I feel loved
The smell is intoxicating and i love it

I hug your teddy
It smells of you
Feels like being close to you
Oh how I love it

I want to give you something
Meaningful
Worth it
Warm
Loving.
To remember me when you feel the same
For when we fight and we both know
I love you.
Will always remain
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