I spent hours looking through
The car for the  GPS book
I couldn't find it anywhere
It didn't matter where I looked

We were getting set to go away
And take a nice road trip
But, I couldn't find the manual
I was starting to let my mind slip

I don't admit to messing up
I didn't want to tell the wife
I couldn't find the manual
I'd hear it all my life

But, I went inside to tell her
I couldn't find the book
She would have to go outside
And maybe take a look

She said I said the manual GPS
You keep it on your lap
Not the GPS manual
I said, go and find the map!!

Going on a road trip
Something for my soul
It's gonna take a while
But, it's gonna make me whole

I'm going to cross the country
But, I'll start on both the coasts
I've been in too many bottles
Have to exorcise some ghosts

Mile Marker Three Three Three Nine
That's where the dream did end
Mile Marker Three Three Three Nine
That's where I'll start to mend

Greyhound bus out of the east
From the Maritimes my son
I'll venture through Quebec as well
This is journey number one

I'll stop and meet the people
Get their stories, of the man
I'll find the ones who met him
Try to learn just what I can

Adversity, I've had my share
Always tried self medication
Now, I need to find myself
This will take some dedication

I'll head on through Ontario
On the Trans Canada Highway route
And I'll try lose my demons
Give my devils all the boot

Brick by brick I'll bring down the walls
That over years I've built
Bricks made up of hate and rage
by love, and fear and guilt

From the west, I'll make my way
Do the highway he could not
Through the rocky mountains
Every mile is hard fought

I'll learn about the person
Who he was and who I am
I'll come through the fire stronger
I'll be a much better man

I will bus across the prairies
Through the Manitoba cold
I will focus on my endgame
I'll learn from what I'm told

Two journeys I will travel
Neither one from coast to coast
But, both are to be ended
by that famous mile post

Maybe I can find the answer
Join myself, go through the door
As he joined a nation
So many years before

Mile Marker Three Three Three Nine
That's where my journey ends
Mile Marker Three Three Three Nine
That's where I'll start to mend

beer and whiskey
meat and potatoes
working class
no umbrella drinks
ingredients i can say
country and western
rock and roll
black and white
no shades of gray
closed on sunday
the big three
cigarettes and beer
ladies and escorts
afternoon baseball
no night games
pitchers hitting
players spitting
doctors smoking
***** magazines
45s and 33s
life delivered
eat at home
no school breakfasts
station wagons
Christmas cards
Community dinners
Fenced in yards
Chicken pox parties
Buying with cash
Bonfires while camping
Trophies to winners
Church Christmas Pageants
Father/ Son Dinners
Plain not unsalted
Till Death us do part
Meat and Potatoes
Whiskey and Beer

I don't remember passing out
The barkeep nudged me twice
I'd been out at least an hour
My drink, it had no ice

He told me I was finished
He said "Boy, you are done"
"You're playing roulette with a pistol"
"With six bullets, not just one"

"There's a taxi on it's way boy"
I took in every word
But in truth, my head was spinning
What he said, I never heard

Way back in the corner
Sat two vultures watching me
The barkeep saw them watching
And he said "Son, the taxi's free"

"There's a cot just off the kitchen"
"If you'd rather stay inside"
"You won't throw up in the taxi"
"It saves me money for the ride"

I nodded I'd accept it
He told me, "good, I hoped you would"
"The way your night is going"
"It just won't end up good"

"You're burning both ends of the candle"
"You're lighting the middle part as well"
"You may think you're off to heaven"
"Drink like this, you'll end in hell"

He said "out back there is another"
"Fought the bottle, fought it hard"
"He was lost, but came back stronger"
"He's doing well, but he is scarred"

"Tomorrow, you'll eat breakfast"
"Go out back, and talk a bit"
"Now, off to bed directly"
"I need to think a bit, and sit"

I thanked him, though I mumbled
The words were clear inside my head
But, the words that I said to him
Made no sense, so....off to bed

The next morning, over coffee
He told me, "I've watched you every night"
"I've woken you before, you know"
"What you're doing isn't right"

I told him of my troubles
He shook his head, and said "so what"
"We all have troubles sometime"
"We make the best with what we've got"

"You can come here if you want to"
"But, if you drink, I'll cut you off"
"This is your only chance son"
He said the last line, through a cough

He said that after breakfast
After I'd done the washing up
I was to head out to the alley
With fresh coffee, in a cup

He said "out back there"
"You'll find a man with a guitar"
"Give him the fresh coffee"
"He won't come here inside the bar"

I went out in the alley
And there exactly as he said
Sat a man, singing to no one
With a old ball cap on his head

I listened as he sang out
A voice as harsh as glass and sand
Playing guitar in the sunshine
Keeping beat, a one man band

He finished, and he saw me
Smiled as he took the cup
He said, "You don't know me"
"But, I knew you'd look me up"

The Bluesman drank the coffee
Told me to sit and stay a spell
For each minute that I listened
Was one less I was in hell.

Behind the pomp and circumstance
The celebrations and parades
Remember those who battled
The platoons and the brigades
Take some time to think now
Of the freedoms we possess
Of who fought the battle
Those who didn't second guess
Respect the soldiers duty
Give thanks to those who served
A handshake and a smile
Is worth a thousand words
It might be a long weekend
That many now will never see
Think of them this weekend
And give their life some dignity
Now, go and have a hotdog
Ride the float in the parade
Enjoy the fireworks exploding
Have a Happy Memorial Day

A dropped ball on the goal line
A tackle missed down field
It's amazing how a football game
Can make a man's mind yield

We come to tears when our teams lose
Even worse when our team wins
It's when we show all our emotions
It's when we break the MANLY SINS

But our girlfriend gets real angry
When we don't utter a word
When they want to talk of feelings
It's a word we've never heard
We're MEN and **** proud of it
We show support for MANLY things
Like football games and racing cars
Not relationshippy things

We wear our hearts upon our sleeve
When the two minute gun has sounded
When the game has come to overtime
When the last corner has rounded

We sit upon our seats edge
Nothing can break us from this trance
Not even when our **** girl
Comes and does a naked dance

But our girlfriend gets real angry
When we don't utter a word
When they want to talk of feelings
It's a word we've never heard
We're MEN and **** proud of it
We show support for MANLY things
Like football games and racing cars
Not relationshippy things

We cry when our dog passes
We get upset when things go wrong
But we'll never show emotion
To a ****** Adele song

We aren't built to be emotive
At least not when women want us to
I'll tell you more about emotion
When the football season's through

I think of people, gone now
And my eyes well up with tears
Memories come flooding out
As I time trip through the years

A New Years eve, a movie night
A Christmas Night with snow
A Birthday with a football game
And a car that wouldn't go

No music or a photograph
Nor a book or an old smell
Brought these pictures to my mind
but, the teardrops they just fell

People, friends and family
Some are here but many not
I don't know what woke these images
It may have been a random thought

Another year is almost done
More memories have gone by
I can't think of these things normally
But, today...I need not try

No triggers, set my mind aflame
But there's a sensory projection
All random, flowing freely through
My mind with no direction

It's better uncontrolled, I think
Seeing snippets of my history
I don't know what will come up next
It's a mental mind scape mystery

My eyes are full, my sleeve is wet
The tears are flowing hard
As I think of people who loved me
And I loved just as hard

I'm glad there was no trigger
And I went into this mind slip
I'm going to have a drink now
And toast my mental trip

It doesn't happen often
I can't explain it when it does
But, I am glad I lived this life of mine
And that it still gives me a buzz.

Stress and other problems
Make our lives lose all control
Some can deal with issues
Because that's how they roll
But others, well, they aren't as strong
And they need to find a way
To come up with a solution
To make it through the day
There's groups that they can turn to
To unload what they feel
To some, there is not problem
That others see as real
Some drink and turn their minds off
While others turn to drugs
These are just blocking the problem
While others turn to hugs
Depression is a crisis
That's affecting many who
Would rather talk of taxes
Than why they're feeling blue
It's a dark and lonely cavern
When depression gets your soul
You just want to close your world off
You just want to find a hole
Now, others choose the method
To deal with all this strife
They choose to end their problems
By ending their own life
This sure isn't the answer
There are people on your side
You sure won't find the answer
On the other side
But, what if all your problems
Seem so much larger than you are
And you have no one to turn to
No matter who you are
There has to be an answer
To stop the death of one so young
As a grade 5 boy who killed himself
Because a bully thought it fun
To beat him up, and knock him down
And then to steal his phone
There has to be an way
To show them they are not alone
Now, adults have their outlets
To help them, and to stay alive
Please someone can you help?
The young lad in grade five
There's not a magic bullet
To help them when they keep it in
But, ****** somehow, somewhere
This is a fight these kids can win.

A woman at the airport
Blamed her excess weight
On her metabolism
Not, on what she ate

I gave her the once over
Which wasn't really nice
Because of all the space she took
I had to do it twice

She complained it was her body
That played this trick on her
she giggled as she said it
acting quite demure

Her chin reached to her cleavage
And her cleavage reached her knees
She was sitting drinking soda
And eating hamburgers in threes

She had a super sandwich
Some chicken and a pop
It seemed that once she started
This woman couldn't stop

Then my mind turned inward
I truly understood what she had said
The answer to her problem
Was truly in MY head

She blamed metabolism
She meant Met-a-bowl-ism...psych!!
It was then I thought she'd never
Met - A - Bowl..she didn't like!

The trick or treater stood before me
Dressed like someone from a story
He was looking good but really gory
I knew just who he was

The blood looked real and really icky
I knew the kid, his name was Mickey
The dried blood it looked really sticky
He never said a word

Zombie like, he stood there staring
It was a fantastic costume he was wearing
I'm sure that most kids he was scaring
He held his bag up high

I reached behind to give him candy
The treats were close, I had them handy
I gave him chocolate, a bar called "Dandy"
He smiled and walked away

I watched him leave and said "good haunting"
I hope he gets all that he's wanting
He looked at me, like I was taunting
He didn't understand

Each year he goes out trick or treating
One year poor Mickey took a beating
While he was standing, and his candy eating
He's never been the same

He's 24 and no one cares
It's not the same if he's not there
He always comes and stands and stares
Mickey is our favourite ghoul

Mickey's Hallowee'n


The trick or treater stood before me
Dressed like someone from a story
He was looking good but really gory
I knew just who he was

The blood looked real and really icky
I knew the kid, his name was Mickey
The dried blood it looked really sticky
He never said a word

Zombie like, he stood there staring
It was a fantastic costume he was wearing
I'm sure that most kids he was scaring
He held his bag up high

I reached behind to give him candy
The treats were close, I had them handy
I gave him chocolate, a bar called "Dandy"
He smiled and walked away

I watched him leave and said "good haunting"
I hope he gets all that he's wanting
He looked at me, like I was taunting
He didn't understand

Each year he goes out trick or treating
One year poor Mickey took a beating
While he was standing, and his candy eating
He's never been the same

He's 24 and no one cares
It's not the same if he's not there
He always comes and stands and stares
Mickey makes our Halloween





       

It was the night before Christmas
A dilemma arose
The temperature dropped
And Mike Klein's car was froze
With a last minute errand
And a trip to the wash
It was minus 18
And it was frozen...by gosh
With an ice pick and hammer
And two friends and some beer
Mike attacked the stuck window
With his ice breaking gear
He swung with the hammer
Missed the car by a yard
slipped on some ice
And went down really hard
He had some de-icer
He remembered at last
But it was in the car
And that train had past
His wife was now waiting
For Mike to take them to mass
But Mike....as we know
Was in the garage on his ***
He thought for a moment
I've a small propane torch
I could melt my way in
With nary a scorch
So he looked for his lighter
He looked near and looked far
Then he looked through the window
It was inside his car
He thought for a while
How he would tell his spouse
They'd not go to church
They were stuck at the house
When what to his Liberal eyes did appear
but, his beautiful wife
And she was holding a beer
"I don't care what happened
I don't want to know
But, get up off your ***
And get out of that snow
Go change your pants
I know this is fully your fault
But, I'll be right back
with a shaker of salt"
The salt broke the ice dam
And they left without worry
They were almost there late
But Mike drove in a hurry
And I heard him exclaim
As he started to go
"I will not wash the car
When it's eighteen below!!"

Winter Vacation was coming
The kids were all set
They were thinking of Christmas
And the gifts they would get

But, Millie sat waiting
Thinking of nothing but snow
Watching the class clock
That was moving so slow


They did arts and crafts
Made cute cards for their folks
Sang old Christmas songs
And told old Christmas jokes

But Millie, our Millie
Was miles away
Thinking of Michigan snow
In which she'd soon play

She packed up her things
Then the bell filled the air
She waved to the teacher
And burst out of her chair

Faster than reindeer
She was gone from the school
Off to get packed
For a vacation so cool

She ran all the way home
She had sweat on her face
Left her books at the door
And grabbed her pink case

Millie was ready
With one thing on her mind
She was off to see snow
And leave the sunshine behind

She'd packed and unpacked
Twice every night
Now she was sure
That her bag was packed right

Winter vacation
In the north in the snow
She'd be there in hours
Just one night to go

She tossed and she tumbled
But she woke right at five
She showered and dressed
She felt so alive

They loaded the car
And they left in a rush
Millie was set
And gave her hair a quick brush

They got to the airport
At nine twenty two
They checked her small bag
Which was nearly brand new

They went to the gate
They met a woman in tan
He said "Hello, there Millie"
"I'm your steward...names Anne"

"Before we go on"
"There's someone else you should meet"
"He's a pilot, our Captain"
"And his name is Pete"

She kissed Mom goodbye
And she kissed her dad too
Anne took her aboard
To sit in seat number two

Millie was nervous
But, excited as well
She told Anne her feelings
Anne said "I won't tell"

The plane taxied out
Left the ground with a roar
Millie's tummy, it rumbled
Like it had never before

Anne came and sat
In the seat by her side
She said "Look over there"
"Those are clouds right outside"

Millie and Anne
Talked all the way there
Of the Christmas to come
They made quite a pair

The Captain announced
They were all set to land
When the plane hit the ground
Millie grabbed Anne's right hand

The big door then opened
They got off of the plane
At the end of the ramp
She saw her cousin, named Jane

Her Grandparents met her
Thanked Anne, said good bye
Anne said "Have a Good Christmas"
Millie said "I'll certainly try"

Jane and her brother
Had come for Christmas as well
With her Grandparents and cousins
Christmas was sure to be swell

They went to pick up her luggage
And then go out to the truck
Her bag came out first
It was her Christmas luck

The first thing she saw
As she held Grandpa's hand
Was no snow on the ground
This was not what she'd planned

Her parents had told her
About the Michigan snow
About snowmen, and snowballs
And the wind, how it'd blow

She kept quiet, said nothing
There was no snow to be seen
As she looked out the window
The grass was still green

Maybe, just maybe
I'm early she thought
It'll snow here tomorrow
Today is too hot

She played with her cousins
Called her folks about four
Rode bikes that her Grandpa
Bought them all at the store

Nothing was different
It was just like at home
No snow blowing white
Nothing fluffy like foam

She went to bed early
It had been a long day
She kissed her grandparents goodnight
And then hit the hay

She dreamed of the winters
Of the snow on the ground
She dreamed about snowmen
And climbing up a snow mound

The next morning she woke
Ran and opened the drape
Wrapped it round her neck
And looked outside, with her cape

Green as could be
For as far as she looked
There was no snow here
Millie felt she'd been rooked

She sat quiet at breakfast
Made barely a sound
Then she asked Grandma
"Why's there no snow on the ground?

"My big Christmas wish"
"Was to snow, snow...for real"
"It's just like at home"
"Grandma, what's the big deal?"

"We've had some strange weather"
"It's been warm every day"
"They just do not know"
"How long it will stay"

"I'm sorry dear Milie"
"This is just how it's been"
"I'm afraid that this Christmas"
"Is one that is green"

Millie, sat silent
Went outside then to play
There was no snow coming
There'd be no snow today

Depressed as she was
She had fun, best she could
Riding bikes around town
It was fun, but not good

With one day till Christmas
She called up her Dad
In the call she then told him
Of how she felt sad

She loved both her cousins
And her grandparents too
But, she just couldn't go
And do what she wanted to do

She'd come up to the north
To have some fun with the snow
She wanted to leave
But, she'd not let them know

They had dinner at six
Millie went up to bed
She was asleep in a moment
Christmas dreams in her head

At seven oh three
She woke up, looked outside
And she stood at the window
With her eyes open wide

The front lawn was covered
There was snow all around
She woke up her cousins
Down the stairs they did bound

They opened the door
To a yard full of white
Christmas had come
Bringing snow in the night

Out on the road
She says other kids too
All in their pjs
And some with no shoes

They were all throwing snowballs
Making angels as well
this was what she had wanted
Christmas was gonna be swell

During the night
While the kids were asleep
Out to the arena
Grandpa did creep

He'd called in some favours
Got the snow from the rink
Then they brought it out here
"Christmas magic" they'll think

The kids can't have Christmas
With no snow to be seen
It just isn't Christmas
With a yard that is green

Phone calls were made
To some other rinks too
And the ski hill as well
Knew what they must do

A parade of dump tucks
And machines that both blew
Came to help Grandpa Joe
Make Millie's Christmas wish true

It lasted four hours
Then it melted away
But, for Millie, our Millie
It was her best Christmas day

Wishing is magic
And dreams, they are too
So, believe just like Millie
And make your Christmas wish true

Christmas is traditions
some last and others die
some leave you feeling fuzzy
others leave you asking "Why?"
There's rules that must be followed
And most of them we know
About gifts and cards and Christmas trees
and then there's mistletoe....

We all know the tradition
We all know what it is
You meet under the berries
And then you both must kiss
But, there's etiquette surrounding
The dreaded mistletoe
And there are things you aren't aware of
And I thought you all should know....

Always kiss your Aunties
Do it quick and on the cheek
Their lips are full of slobber
and sometimes they just reek

Grandmas, get a quick kiss
And ignore the sounds they make
Don't hug Grannies too tightly
They are brittle and might break

Avoid the pervert Uncles
With hands and eyes that roam
They act one way at Christmas
And another way at home

The little kids, won't kiss you
So, it's fun to give them chase
Make sure there's lots of slobber
So, they can wipe it off their face

Make sure kissing Grandad
That he has got his teeth
That they're not somewhere  in a glass
or worse, smiling from a wreath

Always kiss your Mum though
Beware, Mums will always cry
and they will get you going too
No matter how hard you try

Kiss the one you came with
Let them know just how you feel
That your love for them's eternal
And your love for them is real

Kissing is tradition
and at Christmas can be great
But, don't kiss all the women
And forget about your date

The most important rule of all
If you don't want your bell rung
When kissing 'neath the mistletoe
DO NOT USE THE TONGUE

Two pills to greet the morning
To wake up from the night before
Before the morning's over
There'll be at least four pills more
Her children never see this
Mother keeps her secret well
But, just in case she slips up
Father makes sure he, too. doesn't tell
Yes, Mummy is a pill freak
A suburban ****** in our midst
It's more common than you realize
I've names here to make a list
By ten she's popped two more pills
The kids are safely off at school
What the parents do not notice
Is that the children are not fooled
More pills again at lunch time
Then it's off for tennis at the club
Two more pills when she is finished
Just before her tan and rub
You see, Mummy is an addict
She eats pills like most eat cake
She's a really super actress
Miss one pill and she might break
Two years ago she had a problem
She was drinking, never touched a pill
Then she went to "camp" to dry out
that's where she found her brand new thrill
Daddy, he keeps her secret
lets her fool the PTA
You see, Daddy is her doctor
He makes sure that she's ok
The kids are home before mum
She's popped two to mellow out
She's the only mum their friends say
No ones ever heard her shout
Once the pills wear off, what is next
What addiction shall she feed?
She's tried ***** and now narcotics
What will help her fuel her need?
Daddy's mummy's little helper
Keeps her secret and his too
You see daddy has his own diversion
And she's only twenty two!!!

Slot A, Tab B,
or Square peg and round hole
finding out which one you are
is man's eternal goal
One must find self placement
Are you slot A or Tab B?
The only question truly is
Which one of them is me?
You laugh when no one else does
so, does that make you the slot?
Where exactly do you fit?
Who gets what you have got?
Until the magic moment
When Tab A finds Slot B
You wander round not knowing
If you're really, roll-up C
Now the mix is daunting
With A and B and C
A Tab, A Hole, A Rollup
which one should you be
In time all will be answered
You'll find out which you are
By then if things go right
You'll meet attachment R

Did they live the life projected
In their high school yearbook?
Did they take the wife selected
Why not take a look?

Geeks and Dweebs and Superstars
Smile back from ancient pages
Going back to high school now
To read the writings from the sages
Voted "The Most something"
Gave one a certain goal to reach
But, the weekend after graduation
These titles were lost on some lone beach

Did Mr. "Most Likely to Succeed"
Ever make his millions
Or is he working at the daily grind
Like so many other billions?

Most Likely to Become a Mom
That's a title that's too cheesy
What exactly did it mean?
Is this girl just one who's easy?

Most Likely to become Prime Minister
Not a chance in hell 'round here
Debating was not a skill
That we were taught I fear

Did the person picked "Most Likely to....
Have a leg up on the rest
Were they picked for popularity
Or were they really just the best

Our "Most Likely to win a Nobel Prize"
because his Chemistry marks were great
Is now working as a bartender
At a bar that's open late

"Most Likely to be a famous rock star"
Now, there's a title to hang on to
Ours, works in geology
So, they didn't miss by far

Look back and laugh at what you see
This book is just a snap
Of people from your life you knew
Some who fell into the trap

A title of "Most Likely To..."
Shouldn't determine who you'll be
For if it does, then you must
be someone who didn't learn to see

We had a girl get shot to death
She never got a yearbook name
But, she was killed robbing a bank years back
And now that's her claim to fame

Doctors, Lawyers, warehousemen
They were all there in our school
Some were picked "Most Likely to.."
Most were not, and that's cool

If you know a "Most Likely To..."
And they became what they were told
Close the book, and leave it shut
You're the one who struck gold

You made a choice to move along
And make a life, to make you ..YOU
And you didn't need a high school tag
To say..."Most Likely To....."

A day for celebration
of being brought into her nest
A day when everybody says
My mother is the best

But, what about the other days
we do not recognize
Is your mother still the best one
Or is all you say just lies?

They give us life
They clean us up
give us strength
when we have none
even when they ground us
is she still the bestest mom?

Even on this day of days
That we celebrate all she did
When you try to make her happy
You are still her little kid

In our house when I grew up
Mothers Day was one for Dad
When mom could have the house alone
We'd all leave and she was glad

She loves you when you are not there
She is a mentor as you age
The things she said when you were young
Now make her sound more like a sage

So, take this time to celebrate
Your mother....have a laugh
Gather up the whole fam damily
And leave mom....to have a bath!!!!

A brand new sheriff came to town
I'm sure he's not the last
We've had fourteen in the past year
They leave here mighty fast

Some can't stand the pressure
Others end up in boot hill
It ain't easy being Sheriff
Here in Cactus Mill

He was tall, compared to most folks
That's what the undertaker said
"I'm just scouting for the future"
"In case he ends up dead"

He went into his office
Fired both deputies on sight
He said "you wanna get your job back"
"Then, you'll have to do it right"

"I don't hanker to disruptions"
"In the town ... I rule"
"The laws all must be followed"
"Now, boys...it's time for school"

"We're gonna have a meeting"
"You can follow, or can go"
"I'm gonna clean this town up"
"I just thought you both should know"

He'd printed off some flyers
Had them passed out by the men
It was scheduled for the Baptist Church
It was due to start at ten

He cleaned up and got ready
A good impression he would give
Because this man's demeanor
Chose who'd die and who would live

At nine fifteen he left and went
To the church, to say a prayer
He thought it would be empty
But found half the town was there

We waited till the church bells
Chimed ten times ...and he began
"I'm here to be your Sheriff"
"I'll do the best job that I can"

"I don't like injustice"
"Wrong doers...they must pay"
"I like to keep things, well..in house"
"I make decisions in  a day"

"I'm like a judge and jury"
"I hold my own cowboy kind of court"
"I'm like Roy Bean, I guess you'd say"
"It's my town...It is my fort"

"Gunfights, just won't happen"
"If they do, both men are dead"
"One, because he lost it...."
"The other, cause I said"

"Drinking...keep it local"
"Stay inside at the saloon"
"Don't wander the streets at night"
"Standing, howling at the moon"

"You can wear your guns in town"
"But, I don't want to see them out"
"If I do, then you can bet"
"You'll learn fast, what my court is all about"

"Now, coming in, two miles out"
"I saw a sturdy tree"
"The only one who hangs from it"
"Will be decided on....by me"

"Lynchings...not on my watch"
"Rustling....don't you try"
"The rules all must be followed"
"If not....you'll surely die"

"I have a length of rope with me"
"It's been stretched 'bout twenty times"
"Add one more...it's twenty one"
"So, don't commit no crimes"

"I also have two friends right here"
"Mr. Smith and Mr. Wesson"
"Don't make them come on out to play"
"If they do , you'll learn your lesson"

"Back at the jail, there is one more"
"A right old sturdy gun"
"If Smith and Wesson do not work"
"Then you'll meet...Remington"

"I hope that you will follow"
"The rules that I lay down"
"Cactus Mill is pretty"
"I like this little town"

"I might be the new Sheriff"
"And I want to be your friend"
"The choice is which one do you want"
"A long life...or early end?"

He shook the preachers hand then
And he walked on out the door
The towns folk sat in silence
You could hear a feather hit the floor

Now, the question....Did this Sheriff
Clean up little Cactus Mill?
Did Mr. Smith and Mr. Wesson
Keep his hide out of Boot Hill?

I sit here at the corner
Watching people spend their lives
waving at them as they pass
kids and husbands with their wives

They call me Mr. Waverly
Though no one knows my name
If I'm not out there waving
Life just wouldn't be the same

I sit and wave at everyone I see
When someone calls out "Waverly"....that's me
I wave at everyone as they pass by
Most likely will until the day I die

If I'm not out there waving
Folks wonder how I am
I'm known for what I do
Not known for who I am

I sit out  on the corner
Waving from beneath my tree
As people pass and yell out
"Hey Waverly....that's me"


I sit and wave at everyone I see
When someone calls out "Waverly"....that's me
I wave at everyone as they pass by
Most likely will until the day I die

Thirty six years after they last were held in  pre-war Berlin
The games of the Olympiad were all set to begin
This time though, in Munich, set to host the sports worlds greatest show
It was the night before the opening, and all were set to go

August 26th, the games did start and all was going well
But ten days in, the world was shook, and Munich was now a hell
Where terrorists changed how the world would see these famous games
From that date on, The Olympic world, would never be the same

Mark Spitz, that year, set records as he won seven swimming golds
Olga Korbut, elfin princess, stole our hearts with moves so bold
Frank Shorter won the marathon for America, and he was German born
But, Munich's games are famous for the actions, that September morn

Close your eyes, remember back, if you are of the age
Remember those victorious, who were outstanding on that stage
Steve Prefontaine, he came up short, Lasse Viren, he did what he set to do
Think back now to that late summer day in nineteen seventy two

Eyes closed, still remember....David Berger, Mark Slavin and Kehatt Shorr
Seew Friedman, Josef Gutfreund,Elieser Halfin, and you know there is five more
Josef Romano, Amizur Shapira, not tweaking any pictures in your mind,
Andre Spitzer, Jaakow Springer, Mosche Weinberger...any memories do you find?

These men all were Olympians, judges, coaches, athletes, refs
September 5th is now famous, it's remembered for their deaths
They all should be remembered, for their lives, for why they came
They all reached the highest level, they had made it to The Games

Did they ever win a medal ? Would they ever get their glory?
They're remembered as a victim, unfortunately that's their story
It's 40 years on, London hosts, The IOC does not
Take a single minute, give these Olympians a thought

Now close your eyes again and think, could that happen once again
Could terrorists take Olympic lives, could they come and **** like then
Now if I repeat all the names I mentioned, you may not see their face
But, for one short shining moment, please put them in their earned space

Eyes closed, still remember....David Berger, Mark Slavin and Kehatt Shorr
Seew Friedman, Josef Gutfreund,Elieser Halfin, and you know there is five more
Josef Romano, Amizur Shapira, not tweaking any pictures in your mind,
Andre Spitzer, Jaakow Springer, Mosche Weinberger...any memories do you find?

As I left the house the other day I felt some eyes on me
But, I looked around both front and back and no one did I see
I had this funny feeling as I walked on down the street
They were hidden in the background and were being quite discreet
It really did unnerve me to be watched out in  the dark
But then  I found  my stalker when I walked down  by the park
I turned around so  quickly and looked up in the trees
And there it was ,   I saw it, sitting staring  back at me
A pair of eyes were  smiling, on a cat , the Cheshire kind
When I looked again, I knew again,   that this was just my mind
I'd had this feeling once before a year or so ago
But I'd looked around for someone and that someone didn't show
But here I was years later standing, looking in that tree
At a cat with eyes wide open, sitting, smiling back at me
I said "where did you come from?" and "what is it you want?"
"Why choose me to follow, why am I the one you haunt?"
He blinked and said "I'm sorry, it's is you that chose to choose"
"I'm just here to help your writing, you can say that I'm your Muse"
"You see I surface when you need me, to give your ideas a little push"
"I help filter out the voices, I'm the one that tells them shhhhhh"
"An artist has a model, Lautrec...he had his ******"
"Doyle had his ***** and you can say I'm yours"
"But why a cat?...of all the things there is for to be chosen"
"I don't know he said, maybe your mind was just  frozen!"
"You must like Lewis Carroll for I'm his , not yours, you know"
"And just like back in Wonderland, I know just when to go".
"I know when you are stuck on a word or on some prose"
"That's when I come and help you, come to help show how it goes"
"But, why do you stay hidden, come on  now and  tell me true"
"Who'd believe a tale of talking cats...not me...and I'm sure not you!"
"I'm near and then I'm not so close, I come just when I must"
"Usually, you're on your own, your thoughts you're best to trust"
"To write and share your stories, it takes a leap of faith"
"But who'd believe it if you said you  got your stories from a wraith?"
I thought a bit, and that made sense, there's no way to tell
Even though it's madness, they'd condemn me right to hell
A Cheshire cat who writes your poems and sits up in a tree
Now who would believe that fancy tale ?, certainly not me
He said my mind has many thoughts that should be put to paper
And his job was to come around when ideas began to  taper
Poems, and essays, stories, who knows even a book
I'd only have to dig deep down, and give my mind a look
Before he left I asked him why I'd not seen him before
He said to me "truth be told, you've never opened up that door"
"You've never crossed the threshold to where your mind gives birth"
"To the ideas for all your writing, your imagination hearth"
"But now you know I'm  here for you and here to help you write"
"I'll disappear just like before and I shall say goodnight"
"Before you leave I have to say, I'm glad that this was no ruse"
"And of the things there is around I'm glad it's you I chose to choose!"

There is music almost everywhere
You can hear it in the breeze
Blowing gently through the dusty fields
Working slowly through the trees

Music is most everyplace
Just listen and you'll find
Music in the meadow grass
Music of every kind

The crickets make their squeaky noise
The birds they quack and coo
I hear music, if I'm listening
And I bet that you do too

There is music in a lover's voice
A gentle lilt in what they say
There is music in their breath as well
Listen closely as they lay

Don't close your ears to all that's there
You will miss the orchestra
You have two ears to listen with
Open up, hear nature roar.

I like to drink in taverns
Where you get beers and a shot
Where the glasses all are *****
And the women all are hot
Where there's blood stains on the dance floor
From a brawl the night before
And you know there'll be some more there
Before they close the doors at four

Line Dancin' Badonkadonks
or Boot Scootin' Prima Donnas
Are never on our floor
There's none of them among us
The good ol' Texas two step
Is all you'll  find round here
With both dancers smokin' smokes
and both holding a beer

We're not a bar for yuppies
We're a bar your dad would go
We're a bar with old time music
We're a bar you all should know
We're a bar with old time values
We're a bar with out a name
We're your bar son, your bar
We're your bar son, your bar


Umbrella drinks and blue lagoons
They can keep them in the city
For any guy who drinks that stuff
Well...to me...he's too **** pretty
A shot of Beam, a glass of draft
Waylon on the old juke box
Another shot, a few more beer
And this place really rocks

We don't serve drinks you can't pronounce
Or that take too long to pour
We like our music really loud
Hell...that's what country's for
You don't come here to sit and talk
You come to have a party
So, barkeep...one more time around
And lets start drinking hearty

We're not a bar for yuppies
We're a bar your dad would go
We're a bar with old time music
We're a bar you all should know
We're a bar with old time values
We're a bar with out a name
We're your bar son, your bar
We're your bar son, your bar

I have a new big brother
He's dressed in tory blue
He's not just my big brother
I think he's your bro too!
He sits up in his tower
Pulling strings across the land
But when a string of his should break
It's not his *** that gets canned
I found out my incumbent
Goes to Africa every year
In fact I'm told he stays there
For as long as he stays here
I don't really believe it
But you know it must be true
My Big Brother called to tell me
I'm surprised that he got through
Six months away is what we're told
Glen Pearson spent away
But tales like this sound more like they
Were told by Stockwell Day
So late at night, my phone did ring
To tell me how to vote
They told me how the Liberals
Were up the creek without a boat
I know that I'm supposed to go
To the church across the street
That's where the poll is and I know
It's where our local voters meet
But when my bro called down to me
And said, "You don't go there"
This time you vote in Ingersoll
There is no line up there
My big brother said we were wrong
His party would not stoop
To do phone calls to folks like us
That was a bunch of ****
Why would he lie, he is the King
I've read his license plate
He's my brother, one I'm told
That holds on to my fate
His party gave out tax rewards
To companies for jobs
They took all of the money
And they closed the shop down....slobs
It's funny how one person can
Phone ridings, not one missed
But I can't get their calls to stop
And I'm on the no call list
Robo calling is  what it is
A heinous crime at best
Nixon used it in the States
Although he never did confess
Comparing my Big Brother now
To Tricky Dicky Nixon
Well, I've got to say
Those PC's sure know just the way to  fix one.
To hang one man out for this task
It surely can't be true
I wonder if he'll change his mind
And his suit of Tory Blue
I ask around and all I hear
is I voted NDP
So, how in hell, explain to me
they'e a majority
I know that my Big Brother
Would not do such a thing
Excuse me for a moment
But my phone's about to ring!

I used to have a little bird
Bernard was his name
Whenever I would call to him
Bernard always came

One day when I was cleaning
I left the window up a bit
Bernard up and flew away
The ungrateful little ****

Coast to coast
and in between
The greatest thing that I have seen
is Canada...my Canada

Mountains and valleys
Rivers and streams
All that one needs to fulfill their dreams
is Canada....my Canada

She's one hundred fifty years old
When God made her he sure broke the mold
Beauty unmatched
I'll love her till I die
My Canada....my Canada

A neighbor, a brother
A sister, a mother
Canada is all of these things
Rebellious nature
runs through our blood
This feeling, it gives my heart wings

Natives and immigrants
A patchwork design
Made this country that I love as mine
My Canada....my Canada

English and French
and others as well
Celebrate all....c'mon ring that bell
In Canada....my Canada


She's one hundred fifty years old
When God made her he sure broke the mold
Beauty unmatched
I'll love her till I die
My Canada....my Canada

My Christmas tree
Is not the same as yours
You see, my tree is in my mind
It can't be bought in stores

It's made up of a lot of things
I couldn't ever, ever buy
And I put them on my Christmas Tree
Using my minds eye

The star atop my Christmas tree
Is as bright as bright can be
My tree topper  is The North Star
It's the brightest one you see

For tinsel, I use icicles
That Mother Nature made
By hitting us with an ice storm
With devastation laid

For ornaments, I have my pick
There is so much there to choose
With a winter pallet so diverse
With whites, reds, greens and blues

For lights, I use the stars again
And street lights as I need
I let them shine and light my tree
It's the brightest tree indeed

In my mind my tree is ten feet tall
With gifts piled half as high
But, in reality, there is no tree
It's just in my minds eye

You see, I am a prisoner
Of machines and stuck in doors
I haven't had a Christmas Tree
Since Nineteen Eighty Four

But, still I choose to celebrate
Giving gifts and sending cards
But I lie here looking outward
So, going out, well...it's too hard

My tree, it is incredible
And the best part, I must say
Is that I can enjoy it all year round
And when I'm done, it goes away

No needles dropping on my floor
No checking strands of lights
My tree, it shows up when I want
And it's always out of sight

I wish you could walk in my mind
And share my tree with me
It's ten feet tall, and beautiful
And it's just for me to see.

Anyone can enter your church
No matter what their age
Mine, well, you have to be legal
At least in the section that doesn't serve food

Yours smells of incense and candle wax
The air smells of wood polish
Mine has stale beer and on humid days
Remnants of cigars and cigarettes from years ago

We have windows that can open
But, most times they are painted shut
Yours, beautiful colors of glass
Images from the bible, glorious

You have a choir singing the grace of God
My place of worship has live bands once a month
Karaoke on Fridays with wanna be singers
Making us pray to God for it to end

You have pictures of Saints on your windows
And tapestries on the walls
The closest we have is posters of sports teams
And The St. Pauli girl promoting beer

You will never find me at your church
But, we may find you in ours on occasion
We don't have sacramental wine like you
But, we do have a larger drink menu for all

People come to your church to wash away their sins
Then a few hail Mary's and a Lord's Prayer
With us, they come to drown their sorrows
And our hail Mary's have bacon, 2 for 1 on Sunday

Our sky pilot will listen like your pastor
He doesn't judge unless you get too drunk
But, that's on him, not you
Your pastor won't judge, but, still gives penance

I know where I am Sunday
I know where you are too
Your church is not always open
Mine's good from 10 till 2

My Country 'tis of thee
A footnote in history
Of thee I sing

I will dare to compare
for those who were not there
I will try to be fair
Of thee I sing....

My Country was very proud
My Country is full of PRIDE (Insert your rainbow flag here)

My Country was safe at night, you could leave the doors open
My Country is scarier, you don't feel safe until the deadbolts are locked and window bars are in place.

My Country was a place where you knew you could get a housecall from a doctor if needed.
My Country is a place where patients die waiting for a doctor, in the hallway no less.

My Country was amber fields of grain
My Country is Amber alerts and looking for missing children in Amber fields of grain

My Country was the CBC
My Country is satellite television with 400 channels and nothing to watch.

My Country was a place where our flag was respected world wide
My Country is a place where we are respected still....as long as it involves a puck.

My Country was leading the way into the future
My Country is always looking over it's shoulder to see what's coming

My Country was a great place to vacation with the family
My Country is The Untited States for at least 3 weeks annualy, because it's cheaper there.

My Country was strong and a world leader in science and technology
My Country is on life support.

My Country was my families first choice of a place to live
My Country is still my families first choice of a place to live...barely

My Country 'tis of thee
A footnote in history
Of Thee I sing

I hope you get the gist
There's not much I have missed
I loved, but now I'm ******
Of Thee I sing.....

I did a little research work
And you know I'm glad to say
I found out about my history
On ancestry.ca
I typed my name and there it was
A family tree of sorts
With leaves appearing eveywhere
My family and their warts
There were places on the listing
That I had never been
And the names of the all the people
Well, most....I'd never seen
My grandad married seven times
My nanny married four
My mum was not my mother
And my dad...was out the door
The leaves kept showing up there
Beside each and every name
I sat there for eight hours
I was really glad I came
England, Scotland, Middle East
Nevada and Wales Too!
It seemed that all my family
Moved when the rent was due
I had cousins in Zimbabwe
I had cousins in Peru
They were scattered all through Italy
There were some in China too.
I learned things that I never knew
Tales of family and their kids
I  learned of all their countries
And of all the things they did
Four hundred names in all I saw
And each name had a leaf
I didn't know we were that big
It was truly beyond belief
The pictures too were something else
People, places now long gone
There were photos too of Mexico
And my dear old Uncle Juan
Tomorrow, though I  will sit down
And I'll do this all again
But this time I will make **** sure
That I don't forget the "n".

Of all the things I've said and done
I can't remember most
My mind just lets them disappear
Like a wave upon the coast

I remember faces
It's names I can not find
My heart holds on to so much more
Than is buried in my mind

My heart holds on
My heart holds on
Even things I think are gone
My heart keeps holding on

Some things that I recall
I'm not sure If I did
The stories kinda muddy
My mind has them well hid

Good times, and the bad ones
My heart it knows so well
My mind has gone and altered
The truth, I can not tell

My heart holds on
My heart holds on
Even things I think are gone
My heart keeps holding on

Sometimes I'll remember
My mind and heart agree
The times we were together
My heart, and you and me

If I get muddled,
And the memories don't fit
My heart might just open
My mind just a bit

My heart holds on
My heart holds on
Even things I think are gone
My heart keeps holding on

My heart remembers much more
Than my mind will ever do
It remembers every word
My love, I heard from you

My mind, it is a builder
It's built a strong and mystic wall
It only tell me what it wants
While my heart, it tells me all

My heart holds on
My heart holds on
Even things I think are gone
My heart keeps holding on

It didn't happen instantly
I know you'll understand
It took a little while
Before my heart was in your hands

At first we both went cautiously
Neither wanted to get hurt
We sat and talked and drank some beer
Our true feelings we would skirt

We danced around the issues
As long as things went as we planned
But, it wasn't too long after this
That my heart was in your hands

We'd both built up protective walls
And over time, we smashed the stones
It was time to come on from behind
And be a couple, not alone

Your parents gave their blessing
Saying that they were really glad
That you found yourself again and
that you were no longer sad

I proposed, and you said yes
The bricks were crushed to sand
When you took my ring, you truly had
My heart inside your hands

For all these years that we have been
Together, I have learned
To compromise, and listen hard
And that the cheek is sometimes turned

Things have changed, with ups and downs
And we've moved around this land
We've only gotten better
Holding our hearts in both our hands.

My head was pounding
My body ached
I was a stumbling, mumbling wreck
I needed help
And badly
And decided, what the heck

I ventured to St. Peter's
to get warm from the snows
You see, I'm not really religious
and the truth, the church was close

I sat there in ****** silence
My head just throbbing silently
I didn't even notice the woman
Who slid in next to me

She nodded, and knelt down a bit
You could hear her when she rose
Her body racked with aches and pain
Like me, from head to toe

She smiled, started praying
I sat dead still, but listened in
It's not because I am religious
I wanted to hear her sin

She finished, rose and smiled
Lit a candle on her way
I smiled back through cloudiness
I didn't have that much to say

I figured I could try it,
I'm one for anything new
I mean, talking out to no one
What harm could my talk do

"Dear father, forgive me for my sin
Our father"... I tried to start
"Just say what's in your insides son
That's the best way for a start"

Behind me, sat the woman
I didn't hear her come on back
"He's listening for all you ask
He'll get you back on track"

I told her, I just came in
To get dry and get warm
She smiled, said "so, while you're here"
"tell your tale, wait out the storm"

I said it would be worthless
I was past the point of no return
I would not go up to heaven
I was going where you burn

She said "Everyone is worth redemption"
"Even though they do not think"
"They are still a child of Jesus"
"He'll return you from the brink"

I sat and talked for hours
Told her all about my woes
She got up twice, lit more candles
I told her of my highs and lows

She said "regardless of your preference"
"God, won't ask your name"
"You do not need a reference"
"And you'll be really glad you came"

She told me how to start a prayer
To share my story with the Lord
I knelt, followed directions
I was really quite absorbed

I finished, rose and turned to her
There was now a man where she had sat
I asked him if he saw her
In her black scarf and blue hat

He said "The seat was empty"
"I saw no lady there"
I said "a little lady"
"with black and silver hair"

He smiled, said "come this way"
He took me out into the hall
And there I saw her picture
In a frame upon the wall

"She died so many years ago"
"She died of well, a broken heart"
"Her son's died in the Great War"
"It tore her soul apart"

"But I saw her, she was talking"
"She taught me how to pray"
"She was as close to me as I to you"
"She taught me what to say"

He said "son, she's no longer here"
"she's the one who comes the most"
"she finds souls who need redemption"
"She's our church's holy ghost"

I thanked him, head still reeling
I would have to think on this a while
But, as I left, I took one more look
And I'm sure I saw her smile.

My life may be a train wreck
I drink hard to hide the pain
Even though I am a train wreck
I'm still the driver of this train

Haven't been derailed as yet
But,  I've almost left the track
Even though I am a train wreck
I keep on coming back

I've spent some time in lock up
Just in county for a night
For being drunk in public
And a few times for a fight

My life is heading nowhere
But I'm making **** good time
My life is just a train wreck
Brother, spare a dime

The rabbit hole is calling
Do I venture down to see?
Do I listen to the voices?
Even if the voice is me

I'm a train wreck set to happen
I went to church once to confess
I passed out while I was waiting
Even sober, I'm a mess

I won't go into details
About the mistakes I have made
Let's say in life's account book
I didn't make the grade

My life it is a train wreck
One day I'll leave the rails
It's a 50 50 bet though
I chose heads and I get tails

One more drink tonight though
Then some shelter from the storm
I'll find a dumpster somewhere
One that's full so I keep warm

My name it's not important
You won't remember, so don't ask
I can see the whole way through you
There are cracks there in your mask

Let me live in silence
Let me die the same way too
My life it is a train wreck
And there's no room here for two

ever since the day i saw you
wrapped up oh so tight
you've had me wrapped around your finger
and man, it just feels right

you sing and dance when i play music
though you do not know the words
the things you do just make me smile
you flap around just like the birds

you are my little big man
my little big man you will stay
you'll have that name forever
my little big man...every day
i love the way you smile
and the way you make me feel
you are my little big man
know my love for you is real

you do things and i tell you off
you stomp about and start to cry
you spend time there in the corner
looking outside at the sky

we hug and all's forgiven
we go outside into the yard
i never knew that love like this
could be so easy, not so hard

you are my little big man
my little big man you will stay
you'll have that name forever
my little big man...every day
i love the way you smile
and the way you make me feel
you are my little big man
know my love for you is real

you'll grow up and move along
get friends and live your life
in time you'll go to college
meet a girl to be your wife

one day you'll be a parent
and you'll feel just like I do
when you look down at that smile
of little big man ...number two

you are my little big man
my little big man you will stay
you'll have that name forever
my little big man...every day
i love the way you smile
and the way you make me feel
you are my little big man
know my love for you is real

I write long stories
Short, medium as well
I write because I think that
I have something to tell

I've met people in my writing
All living in my head
They come to me in daytime
And they speak to me in bed

I don't know if I've met them
There's a chance they may be real
But, they're there inside me living
Letting people know just how they feel

I've singers, painters, dancers
blindmen, kids who like weird things
teachers, stutterers and hobo's
crippled kids and kings

I'm not sure if I've met them
But, by now, I know their names
I know everything about them
And I know, no one is the same

They keep me entertained and
I hope you like them too
I've got to move some boxes in my head
To see if I can find somebody new.

It doesn't much matter where I travel in town
There's a spectre that hangs in the air
A shadow attached to the places I go
Because together we once travelled there

A new life, some changes
Ditch the shadow and move on with things
But there in the corner, hiding back in the dark
Is the darkness, and to me it still sings

Simple things bring the spectre
Like a drink at a bar
It just hovers where just I can see
I need to remove it,
this thing black as tar
And only then will I truly be free

The spectre is missing when I travel abroad
That is good, but it's here that I live
I gave of my self for many long years
How much more am I destined to give?

When I'm with my Megan the spectre is gone
I rarely can see it about
But, when I'm alone or am just with a friend
It pops up and it shows me it's out

You can't see the spectre
It's just shows up for me
It stays way in the back, thank the lord
But, it still comes out sometimes
When it should not be about
I guess then it is out 'cause it's bored

The spectre has travelled with me for some years
Most times he is dusted and done
But if you know of this demon and you see him too
My one it smells just like ***

Mysterious Angel

©10 June 2015 Roger Turner & Whitney Rix Victory II



I'm in love with her, but I can't even say her name,

I'm in love with her, but I don't even know her game.

So in love and I always feel, I feel just the same,

I'm in love with her, but I can't even say her name.

Mysterious Angel, my mysterious angel,

So are you the angel, who's come down here to save me?

Mysterious Angel, my mysterious angel,

So are you the angel, the one who's gonna save me?



No, I can't tell her because she might let it all end,

Oh no now, I can't tell her, she might want to be friends,

Part of me's broken, she's the only one who can mend,

No, no, I just can't tell her, can't tell her in case it might end.



Mysterious Angel, my mysterious angel,

So are you the angel, who's come down here to save me?

Mysterious Angel, my mysterious angel,

So are you the angel, the one who's gonna save me?



I can't even tell you just how I fell so in love,

And I think she's an angel from the stars up above,

I don't know how, I don't know how, I fell so in love,

To me she is an angel, she's an angel of love.



I can't tell her, can't tell her, no, in case it might end,

I can't tell her, can't tell her, she might want to be friends,

Part of me's broken, she's the only one who can mend,

No, no, I just can't tell her, can't tell her in case it might end.

My teeth are smiling back at me
From a glass beside the bed
I wonder "Do they look that bad"
"When they're positioned in my head?"

They looked all kind of cloudy
***** brown, and green
I think I need to change the way
I make my teeth get clean

Right now I use polident
To make my choppers shine
But, if this is the way that they turn out
I'm embarrassed that they're mine

I took them out and washed them off
I stuck them in a glass of bleach
I thought, "This will make them whitey white"
The colours will all leech

Out of my clean choppers
And will brighten up my smile
Then you'll see me from afar
Well, at least a half a mile

I left them for two hours
and they came out brown and green
I thought, they look no better now
They look totally obscene

I even took to painting them
A glorious shade of white
I left them on my workbench
To dry and harden overnight

They still look brown and greeny
Like they were buried in the yard
I swear, I've never had a thing
That's made me work so hard

I cannot put them in my mouth
with out cleaning off the crud
It's looks like I am smiling
With a mouth that's full of mud

I took a pad of wire wool
And scrubbed them like you do
They didn't get much brighter
But, now at least...they're blue

I went down to the chemists
To get something for my teeth
I needed something powerful
To relieve me of my grief

The chemist said "please shut your mouth"
"You're scaring all who passes"
"Your teeth are oh so snowy white"
"The dirt is on your glasses!!"

My thumb, it leads the way




I do not have a fixed address
I've slept near bales of hay
I've woken up in farmers fields
My thumb, it leads the way
My thumb, it is my compass
In time I'll move along
I move around at random
I'm a lyric with no song

I've slept beneath a starlit sky
Never really laying roots
My world is in my duffle
With a second pair of boots

I've lived down by the train tracks
Woken up as they go by
I've woken up beside a scarecrow
As the birds still filled the sky
My thumb, it is my compass
In time I'll move along
I move around at random
I'm a lyric with no song

I've slept beneath a starlit sky
Never really laying roots
My world is in my duffle
With a second pair of boots



I've slept beneath a starlit sky
Never really laying roots
My world is in my duffle
With a second pair of boots

Grandpa'd take me fishing down to Watson's creek
He'd hold his finger to his lips so I knew not to speak
He'd show me how to shoot a gun, how to turn the other cheek
How to be a better person, and how to duck instead of deke

I remember where I was
When I heard Grandpa died
I was standing in the hallway
With my brother by my side
He put his arm around me
While I just cried and cried

I don't need to jump out of planes
Or run with bulls in Pamplona
I don't need to swim with sharks
Or race a car down in Daytona
Two lines don't make a bucket list
Yes, I said....only two
The first one is to wake each day
And the second...be with you

We'd watch the trains stretch our pennies that
we'd lined up on that track
Smoking stolen cigarettes as we watched the train go past
Lying there, two brothers, hiding in the summer grass

I remember where I was
When I heard my brother died
Shot down over Vietnam
I ran to the tracks and cried
I could still feel him there with me
Stretching pennies while I cried

I don't need to jump out of planes
Or run with bulls in Pamplona
I don't need to swim with sharks
Or race a car down in Daytona
Two lines don't make a bucket list
Yes, I said....only two
The first one is to wake each day
And the second...be with you

I've grown up a little since, fell in love with a great girl
I take her fishing to the creek, let her into Grandpa's world
I've shown her where the track once was
Where we stretched pennies just because


I remember where I was
And I remember that you cried
We were in the same front hallway
Where I heard they both had died
But this time you were crying
Because I took you for my bride

I don't need to jump out of planes
Or run with bulls in Pamplona
I don't need to swim with sharks
Or race a car down in Daytona
Two lines don't make a bucket list
Yes, I said....only two
The first one is to wake each day
And the second...be with you

my words
my torture
my sickness
my muse
my timewaster
my adventure
my pain
my laughter
my loss
my gain
my failure
my success
my love
my hate
my heart
my friend
my foe
my will
my drama
my comedy
my faith
my leap
my confusion
my experience
my soul
my temptress
my god
my words....

Letter to My Lawyers.

Being of sound mind and body...

To whom should I leave my teeth
Which person do I love
Enough, to leave my smile to
When I'm dead and up above

My grandson will get my glass eye
When my life is at an end
I'd imagine I could see him
playing marbles with his friends

My artificial knee cap
I'll leave to my younger sister May
She can have it in her living room
As a brand new candy tray

I think I'll leave my hearing aids
To the woman up the road
They don't work too well anyways
And in truth, the cow's a toad!!

The breast implants that I have got
Are old, and slightly mottled
But, I'll leave them to the nursing home
As two hot water bottles

All my unused catheters, to the pet store
that's my wish
They can use them in aquariums
Pumping air for all their fish

This is my will and testament
It's my National Health Care list
These bits of me are all I own
There might be some things that I missed

My artificial hip joint
I'll give to the fellow down the lane
He can clean it up a little bit
And there's a topper for his cane

Anything else that I forgot
That is still good, I want to go
To someone who might need it
Make it someone that I know

One last thing I ask now
my support hose, goes to Jack
He always wanted a nice hammock
To swing in out the back!!!

I remember it like yesterday
That night I saw you dance
You were alone, and I was watching
You had me in a trance

I was celebrating nothing
as you danced to the Bo-Deans
I knew I had to find out more
When I saw you in those jeans

It may as well be carved in stone
I'm never gonna change my mind
It's as good as done once I decide
I'm never gonna change my mind

We dated for a couple months
Marriage, well why not?
It was just the natural course of things
I didn't need a second thought

My friends kept working on me
Saying you're moving much too fast
She's nice but, do you know her
Are you sure that this will last?

It may as well be carved in stone
I'm never gonna change my mind
It's as good as done once I decide
I'm never gonna change my mind

Next in line, was having kids
That just made too much sense
And the the dog and the big house
with the old white picket fence

The rumours kept evolving
I just laughed at their attack
They said that you were cheating
That you had knifed me in the back

It may as well be carved in stone
I'm never gonna change my mind
It's as good as done once I decide
I'm never gonna change my mind

I chose not to believe it
You loved me, and I loved you
They were jealous we were happy
This was not what you would do

Then I caught you with our neighbor
You begged to stay, and I said no
I truly, once did love you
Now, it's time for you to go

It may as well be carved in stone
I'm never gonna change my mind
It's as good as done once I decide
I'm never gonna change my mind

You're never gonna change it
I'll never change my mind
It's set as hard as concrete
I'll never change my mind

Hero....easily described
but, not so easily found
I've two that I remember
Now, both six feet in the ground

Not firemen, or athletes
Not policeman or my dad
But these two people are heroes
And that I met them makes me glad

Simon, strong as true forged steel
A kid with only one speed in his head
He was always pushing limits
And now poor Simon's dead

He was ten when I first met him
He was in a chair, but hey, big deal
Simon was a true survivor
He showed me just how I should feel

He showed me I was handicapped
He told me off when it was due
Until I treated him like other kids
He showed me stuff I never knew

He left us far too early
A little boy, not yet a man
but, Simon, you're my hero
You showed the reason for "I can"

The other one, I only knew
For a short time years ago
He was two when I first met him
With skin as white as fallen snow

We both shared a room together
He wouldn't live a long long life
He had luekemia and was dying
Too young to have this strife

He was always smiling broadly
As happy as someone could be
He didn't know that he was dying
He didn't know he'd not see three

But, his smile and his shining eyes
They showed me what it means
To live each day like it's your last
And to not make big, sad scenes

Both these special children
Left impressions on my heart
They are my special heroes
Who never got a chance to start

Nothing in this world is free
There is always an agenda
Even the worst hangover
Is the result of a great ******

A favour here, a kind word there
Just what is it they're hiding?
By the time that you figured that one  out
You'll find that you're the horse they're riding

They say to never look a gift horse in the mouth
you never know exactly what you'll find
you've one of two choices exactly where to look
Is it better from the front or from behind?

You'd better read the fine print
When you hammer out a deal
Especially if it's too good to be true
There's alway's something hidden
That will always wiggle out
And the thing that's getting hammered bud...is you

A low rate credit card
Six months at one percent
what is in this deal for them?
Does it seem more than  a little bent?

no strings attached
no background check, absolutely free
I don't know much about your mind
But, this just sounds wrong to me

They say to never look a gift horse in the mouth
you never know exactly what you'll find
you've one of two choices exactly where to look
Is it better from the front or from behind?

I've more New Year's behind me
now that I have gotten old
My next one's in the tropics
I just don't like the cold

I used to party hearty
I wouldn't get back home till five
Now, I pass out on the sofa
My wife checks if I'm alive

I remember  I went drinking
I got drunk riding the bus
When I told my friends the story
they said, dude, that wasn't us

I told them yes it was,
We all stayed out till late
They informed me of my error
I had passed out just past eight

New Years was  Lombardo
New Years...it was **** Clark
Two giants of the evening
Two men who left their mark

Now, incentive to stay up till twelve
To see who will Jenny McCarthy kiss
well, I liked her better as a playmate
now, I couldn't  give a ****

The morning will still get here
Whether I stay up, or not
New Year's eve is nothing special
I spend it with my wife (she's hot)

We cuddle on the sofa
Fall asleep as if on cue
With our tray half full of finger foods
We're asleep by ten, not two

I wish you Happy New Year's
My best wishes all are sent
If you stay awake past midnight
Call, and tell me how it went.

I don't make New Year's resolutions
I make revolutions instead
The only way to keep from failing
Is to start the New Year dead

Losing weight, working out
I might even join a gym
But come December of the coming year
I still have not reached slim

I'll be nicer to my boss, and wife
I'll do more chores around the house
I always say this every year
But, I'm still reminded by my spouse

I'll save more money, start a fund
Take the family on a trip
But come July and August
I've let the travel savings slip

A New Year's resolution
Is a failure from the start
I have come to the conclusion
You've set the horse before the cart

By early spring you have none left
All your great ideas are broke
So, since I'm not succeeding
This year I'll start to smoke

You may ask me why I don't
Like to call them resolutions
It's because you make the same each year
And that's a revolution

One year, a circuit, twelve whole months
And you're back right where you started
You might set out to change your life
But in truth, you only farted

I don't make New Year's resolutions
I make revolutions instead
The only way to keep from failing
Is to start the New Year dead

This year is finished
A new one will start
For all those you lost
Keep them close in your heart

Make this year much better
Than the last if you can
Live each day for tomorrow
Each woman, each man

We lost famous people
Yes, a lot are now gone
So, remember them fondly
And now...Let's move on

Happy New Year 2017