A brand new sheriff came to town
I'm sure he's not the last
We've had fourteen in the past year
They leave here mighty fast
Some can't stand the pressure
Others end up in boot hill
It ain't easy being Sheriff
Here in Cactus Mill
He was tall, compared to most folks
That's what the undertaker said
"I'm just scouting for the future"
"In case he ends up dead"
He went into his office
Fired both deputies on sight
He said "you wanna get your job back"
"Then, you'll have to do it right"
"I don't hanker to disruptions"
"In the town ... I rule"
"The laws all must be followed"
"Now, boys...it's time for school"
"We're gonna have a meeting"
"You can follow, or can go"
"I'm gonna clean this town up"
"I just thought you both should know"
He'd printed off some flyers
Had them passed out by the men
It was scheduled for the Baptist Church
It was due to start at ten
He cleaned up and got ready
A good impression he would give
Because this man's demeanor
Chose who'd die and who would live
At nine fifteen he left and went
To the church, to say a prayer
He thought it would be empty
But found half the town was there
We waited till the church bells
Chimed ten times ...and he began
"I'm here to be your Sheriff"
"I'll do the best job that I can"
"I don't like injustice"
"Wrong doers...they must pay"
"I like to keep things, well..in house"
"I make decisions in a day"
"I'm like a judge and jury"
"I hold my own cowboy kind of court"
"I'm like Roy Bean, I guess you'd say"
"It's my town...It is my fort"
"Gunfights, just won't happen"
"If they do, both men are dead"
"One, because he lost it...."
"The other, cause I said"
"Drinking...keep it local"
"Stay inside at the saloon"
"Don't wander the streets at night"
"Standing, howling at the moon"
"You can wear your guns in town"
"But, I don't want to see them out"
"If I do, then you can bet"
"You'll learn fast, what my court is all about"
"Now, coming in, two miles out"
"I saw a sturdy tree"
"The only one who hangs from it"
"Will be decided on....by me"
"Lynchings...not on my watch"
"Rustling....don't you try"
"The rules all must be followed"
"If not....you'll surely die"
"I have a length of rope with me"
"It's been stretched 'bout twenty times"
"Add one more...it's twenty one"
"So, don't commit no crimes"
"I also have two friends right here"
"Mr. Smith and Mr. Wesson"
"Don't make them come on out to play"
"If they do , you'll learn your lesson"
"Back at the jail, there is one more"
"A right old sturdy gun"
"If Smith and Wesson do not work"
"Then you'll meet...Remington"
"I hope that you will follow"
"The rules that I lay down"
"Cactus Mill is pretty"
"I like this little town"
"I might be the new Sheriff"
"And I want to be your friend"
"The choice is which one do you want"
"A long life...or early end?"
He shook the preachers hand then
And he walked on out the door
The towns folk sat in silence
You could hear a feather hit the floor
Now, the question....Did this Sheriff
Clean up little Cactus Mill?
Did Mr. Smith and Mr. Wesson
Keep his hide out of Boot Hill?