She sleeps as I watch her breathe
Looking so small in her railed bed
I think of smiles and laughs and lessons
Dreams wrapped up in things she said

So, I pray and wish for many more
As we so selfishly often do
And give my blessing to send her home
The strongest woman I ever knew

The darkness called me, needing me
Wanting me to follow and cover myself
And I slipped away, silently
Lost in the shadows that beckoned so sweetly
I took refuge in the fog
Whose dappled light was just enough
To lead me deeper into you

Seeking restless souls
It enters through the tiniest of spaces
Gliding through
On invisible currents of air
The warm uneven breaths call to it
In silence they whisper its name
There is no peaceful slumber
No dreams to be had this night
The mind, slowly drained of coherence
Now speeding through bits and pieces
Of bits and pieces
Memories meld together
A montage of the useless
Dreams, stories, memories, and wishes
Reality no longer resides here
In this land of in-between

Know it all in theory never practiced
Waddles and quacks
Assumptions under false pretenses
Opinions often criticize
Judgments without a clue
Senseless chatter
Assless pants
Years behind
Broken spirits
Wavering faith
What is proof?
Wasted life and selfish acts
Yeah, what do you know?

last year's hangover
Morning Star blind
without the ride
of imbibing libations

words bled dry
in powdered thought
desiccated emotion
won't rehydrate unsalted
and I just ain't in the mood

shoulda had that drink
winning every battle
lost in war I can't see
but scars burn deep
courting failure
with fear

why fight fate
in altered perceptions
that are all real enough
to feel
in a world where the
only thing concrete
is thought...

bled dry
in last year's hangover

Superhero heavyweights
Alter ego misfits
Scandalous fall from grace
Public pain and private parties
Golden idol ego trips
Wrath of God
Not wrath of Kahn
Read a book
Take a look around
Stop flying high
Indestructible
Too messed up to see
The damage done
Idolaters be dammed
First commandment
Godless society
Superhero wannabes
Glory and the fame
Microscopes
Expand the putrid that make-up cannot mask
Everybody’s business
Do as you say not as you do
Becomes, monkey see monkey do
Flying high without a net
Newbies falling from the sky
That is not empowerment
Luck is not strategy
And life is not a game
Find importance
Both within and without
Then dawn your cape
And fly away
To help your fellow man
Not just your selfish greed

As close 2u as close can be
w/o a thought of u and me
unspoken it was always "we"
now it's just what used to be

whipped back across the line
in harsh tones of childhood trauma
vile acidic tongue
lapped and corroded the biodome,
which maintains the constructs
of who I am needed to be
white smoke fills the black space
changing gray as it wafts through
ever so slowly

Patch the chemical burn!
Patch it NOW!

before it compromises emotion
before it spreads and corrupts
the foundation of all
the slightest justification
can stop the seepage
Lies, Lies, Lies, Lies
honesty isn't truth
when used as a weapon

watching the dome slowly fail
smoke seeping through pinholes
waiting for the death of hope
frozen in place by hateful expressions
of those who claim not to care

With you by my side
Let's go for a ride
Today
There's nothing to hide
We're going outside
To play
Don't tell me you lied
Just say that you tried
I'll stay

A loaded cloud of debris whirls around
As I remain firmly planted in its eye
There is silence but no peace
The strain of stillness takes its toll
One step in any direction and it all crashes in
Safety is not comfortable
And comfort is not necessarily safe
Teetering on the precipice and ready to fall
No way to escape unscathed
No landing zone in sight
Ready to falter and take the hits
Hoping to make it to the other side
The side where peace resides

Island vacation relaxing and calm
Her fluid nature cannot be ignored
Drawn to her heat with the promise of more
There go the lazy days spent 'neath the palm
Enchanted Princess in an island tale
A bronzen mermaid in the deep blue sea
One look, you'll be who she wants you to be
And revel with new found freedom in sail
The water sparkles in the setting sun
Splashes like fireworks welcome the night
Outlines of flesh reflected in moonlight
In the shadows of waves two become one
Reckless abandon, a perfect escape
In her arms he found that dreams could take shape

Never have I been the best at hiding how I feel.  There is no peaceful game.  My face reveals the truth.  Never to be doubted.  Nothing left to wonder.  Still, I reign it in.  I stifle my reality in an attempt to keep you close.  So tender-hearted beneath that thickening shell.  The shell I penetrated somehow.  Once you found me in your heart, you pushed with all your might.  Trying to get me out.  I cannot be budged. Yet, I am not free to love you.  You refuse to let me be yours in theory or practice.  You love me, but not by choice.  Fear of the possibility of pain keeps you at bay.  Yet saving yourself from pain has deemed my own inconsequential.  For running from me pulls out my heart.  

Pushing me away
What's best, or just what's easy
Burns holes in my soul

Not one to take the easy way out.  Suffering to love you.  There is no expectation of love requited.  There is nothing but a dream, part memory part wishful thinking.  Hot needles still poke at me, slowly breaking me down.  Weakening my very being with the sharp jabs of stinging words or careless action, or worse...absolute inaction.  I have learned to stop expecting the "Morning Sunshine" or "'Night Darlin'" that used to brighten each day.  Those thoughtless things, the tiny nothing things that let me know I was on your mind.  So far from nothing those nothings were.  Days and nights seem incomplete in their absence.  Weaning to make your days bearable makes mine unendurable, empty, and melancholy has come to underlie all things.  

Joy of love melts ice
Heat smothered by a tear cloud
Threadbare soul survives

Challenges faced sideways leave blind spots. Choices made by indecision.  Letting mistakes be made, watching as they choose wrong. I see the truth and know what I know.  Everything is aligned for my own misfortune.  For as a bystander, I lay no claims.  Anything I do will hasten the inevitable.  So I let the weaning drip down to nothing.  Reluctantly I watch as you disappear with my heart in hand.  I stood firm as you ran away in place.  You turned to me, you needed me, you loved me.  As the clouds dissipate and the sun creeps over the horizon, With the blue sky I turn to mist. Slowly fading to the past.  A ghost of could've been, used to be, and never was

**Surrender takes time
                        Reluctantly relinquished
                                               I will fight no more

desperate for a break in loneliness
longing to be devoured
heart once removed
prey versus predator
gentle, lays the Beast
slowly fueled by crowds of vacant eyes
primal feasts of flesh
no bearing on the soul
no past
no future
momentarily sated
a life of pretense
constructs of reality morph with mood
crushed and renovated by perception
the soul eats trusting hearts
unable to quench the thirst
it spits out bare bones
and goes on its way
living for the bliss of escape
oblivious to consequences no one else can see

Hidden in the shadows
In the light of the moon
Is a secret born in the inception time
The whisper of legends
The Truth in the tale
Alive within dreams
A reflection of souls dancing
Diaphanous in the rays of the sun
Like lingering cold
As mist succumbs to the warmth of morning
Never to be found when looking
Unseen in plain sight
Wrapping its equal
In a swaddling of peace
Only to be known as two become one
A whole felt before
Only in the shadows of dreams
Eternal by design
Known in this realm
As a myth, as magic
But this is the only truth
Created as one soul
We are all that there is

Stuck in a time long since passed. Heart emptied hopeless. Faces blur along with the days. Nights linger incessantly, haunting all that ever was.  Dreams tease happy.  Sun kills dreams. Time makes scars. Distance allows the fallacy to continue.  The lies turn daily mantra.  The mantra into perceived reality. Reality into dreams, the dreams into nightmares.  Sun cannot **** nightmares.

Hollow glass hearts bleed
Puddle will evaporate
To exist no more

Joy-filled memories leach all hope for future joy.  Heart crushed to powder. Powdered hearts cannot bleed.  Dead hearts cannot feel. Memories, overflow with the shadow of love's embrace. Pain jabs the senses like lightning.  Still, the heart has ceased to exist.  Calluses fill the space that scars cannot.  False emotion permeates the truth.  Future acquaintances see beauty behind dead eyes.  As they close in, icy breath freezes long enough to drain their heart to beat some life into the one lost. Walking away with minimal pulse as their heart is hollowed and bleeding.  Soon too, that puddle with cease to exist.  

**Life's casualties
Joy begets pain begets joy
Hope dies most quickly

Your words lead to your soul,
They have guided me, heart in hand,
To the truth of who you are,
And with bated breath I read them.
For it is there,
That your essence flows through me,
And carries me straight to you

Wound up a rubber bands
Balsa airplanes high on a breeze
Dandelion wishes
Wildflower **** bouquets
Squeals carried on the wind
A lazy swing in the warmth
Never ending declarations of love
With the sweetest of all smiles

What my reality is
Is not a dream come true
It's a flowing tide of incidents
With people true to who they believe they are supposed to be

What my reality is
Is a mess of circumstance
And an unrivaled openness
That oft scares those afraid of who they are

What my reality is
Is the nightmare that my truth
Leaves me lonely surrounded by those I love

What my reality is
No longer concerns you

A sideways glance
a flush of color
Stolen breath and a smile

Pushed back across the line
The line between *** and love
Loving you no less than yesterday
Wanting you more with each insight
Caught between your fear of intimacy
And my abundant affection
Missing the way you want me
Wanted me...
Want me Still?
Berated for loving you
Jagged dagger wounds heal slowly
While loving you no less than yesterday
No apologies for purposeful pain
You proved yourself right, though you are so wrong
You just don't want to know
Remember me with affection you were too afraid to show
Think of me often, and realize
I love you...still

In the wee hours of nothing
We exist as ourselves
Too tired for delusions
Too asleep to lie
Too awake to dream
Unintentionally
We are our unfiltered selves
Content to just be...
In the wee hours

I want to ruin sweetness
to turn him into the animal I know lives inside
to temper anger with restraint and lust with true desire
a transformation from pet to wild beast
I want to rule his passion not his heart
I want to command him
with the heat of desire and pain of longing
I want him to relinquish control and give in
I need to teach him what it means to be greedy and lustful
he will submit and reap the rewards

The gentle way you gaze upon me
Your heart upon your tears
The drop in your voice
As your breath carries my name in the moonlight
The stars are aligned leading us home
Into one another
Searching beyond imagination
Through space and time
Never understanding the emptiness
Though seeming to be full
The pain of void
Filled at the sight of my soul in you
For you are my missing piece
And I am your sun