10-3-24   1:24pm

you have so much to live for
you have so much to learn

where have you been?
you drifted far
but the things you love
still wait for you

life waits for you
like a branch on a tree
waits for a bluejay

10-23-24   5:27pm

forgiveness does not grow on trees
it grows as a tree
and takes its time

it might take an eternity
or feel like one, at that
but once the seed is planted
it will grow
and sprout
just give it time


leaves will emerge
branches will take a much-needed stretch
and your heart will heal

days go on
distance heals
and i'm learning to love myself
again

9-16-19   11:04pm

As the moon is full in sight
I lay awake at night
thinking of you

The stars shine in the sky
waving to say goodbye
as a boy travels far far away
from someone who wants him to stay

A spark that ignites
suddenly feeling so bright
The soul is crawling its way through


Mirror mirror on the wall
who’s the brightest of them all?

It’s you

It’s you

10-7-24   1:07pm

certain sounds
and certain movies
certain shows
with certain scents

you're engraved
in my memory


my heart still beats
so fast
when you come
to mind
it goes back in time
it remembers your touch
your smile
your kiss
your laugh
your passion
your eyes
those eyes
filled with wonder
and curiosity

you don't find many people
like that
few and far
in between



perhaps you're also thinking of me
as much as I am about you

maybe not

so many maybes
so many questions
left
unanswered

11-13-24   9:24pm

a calmness most certain
the wind blankets me with a hug
birds greeting
quiet awakening

1071 Sunny Hill sits patiently
with dwellers
cycling in and out
each life
most meaningful than the last


a peace that fills the air
a warmth to fill your body
a soul that finds its purpose


gratitude
appreciation
love

it lives here

10-4-24

i get to have you
stuck in my head
all day

lucky me
lucky me


like a record
on repeat
the ending scratches
it's repeating
your name
over and over


well guess what
I'm barging into
your favorite movie theater
and raining on your parade
ruining your favorite film
twisting the memory
of your favorite place
into your least favorite
it'll make you sick
to your stomach
to go back there
to go anywhere near there


lucky me
to have myself

poor you
poor poor
you

11-14-24   10:14pm

goodnight stars
you have been good to me

goodnight to the past
and recent regrets
doubts that swirl in my brain
like a never-ending current
you're gone too

gone are the thoughts that don't serve me
serve in a way that gratitude
and appreciation do


I'm sleepy now
with a kiss of happiness
and love so sweetly
whispering beneath me
from my pillow

10-12-18   12:17am

I want to be seen
and to be heard

I want to be loved
and never forgotten

that when you smile
it's like a gift

1-8-25   8:05pm

every time you don't respond
i convince myself you're done

my mind
my worst enemy

do you still want this with me?
i might ask

have you met someone else?
is she wonderful?
what does she smell like?
does her laugh sound like the most wonderous
orchestra known to man


the feeling of love
and wanting to be loved
is so volatile
my own personal current
pushing out to sea

10-2-24   4:21pm

do you think about me
as much as I think about you

do you wonder about
those unanswered questions
or what could have been


do you think about
the night we met
and how we were talking about
the universe
or that time during dinner
you told me the wind
blew through my hair
at the perfect moment


where did I go wrong
or were you scared
did I say something wrong
did I do something wrong
I just want to know

I wish it didn't have to end like that

we weren't right for each other

I have to remind myself that
but I'm still sad
am I allowed to be?


I'll never see him again

10-12-24

when do you stop crossing my mind
what day
what hour
what time

2-3-25   10:31pm

I want to look for god in the small ways of life
do I already?
well
I do like the sound of birds chirping
and how the sunset bathes the room in a golden hue
or how when birds fly overhead
they're arranged in the perfect formation of a 'V'

9-5-2024   9:47pm

one day
i'll see your name
pop up on my screen

one day you'll ask me
"how are you?"
and I'll lie
"doing fantastic"

one day
I'll meet you in the city
we grab drinks
and spend the night together

one day we'll laugh
about
how stupid we were
the night we met


one day you'll regret your decision

one day we try again

one day we'll move on


and one day will be the last
the last of everything
last time we spend time together
last time we kiss
last time we embrace
last time we laugh
or look into each other's eyes
and see what could have been

but not today

1-15-25   11:04pm

i kiss like tomorrow isn't promised
sing such melodies only the skilled can achieve
dance under the moonlight
(yes I don't give a **** who's watching)
laugh so loud heads usually turn
cry during movies
cry to musicals
write ****** poetry

I'm dramatic
I say stupid things I don't mean
I'm embarrassing
I truly believe I was a dragonfly in a past life
my grandfather's spirit lives within me

all these wonderful things
I forget so often


we take things for granted
we take ourselves for granted
yet
we're all just little stars
waiting for our time to shine


"magic cannot leave you when it is you..."

1-15-25   3:06pm

january
the month where i start to mourn summer
and forget about the sound of the ocean

birds migrating south
darkness by 5pm
layers upon layers of clothing

but we read more books
and the neighborhood cat seeks solace in your home
snow graces the ground
a contrast between light and dark
life and dormancy

a moment to pause
to release and let go
love
shelter
the promise of spring

a slower life

I guess January isn't so bad after all

10-24-24   9:41pm

find me within the meadows, where the grass grows tall and birds migrate to escape winter

hear me between each verse of your favorite song, the one that replays and brings you peace

remember me like the feeling of nostalgia, how it sneaks up on you when you smell the scent of blown out birthday candles


I'm the laughter you dream of that echos off the walls
the bird song of evening as the sun sets
the ticking clock on your nightstand that never dies

someone you will never forget
even if you tried

9-17-24   9:55pm

in another lifetime, we gave it a second chance and we slow danced in the parking lot. in another lifetime, you were much more tender and gentle by not pushing any limits. in another lifetime, I was able to speak up. but in this lifetime you stopped talking to me after you gave me your favorite books.

sunset splayed across the wall
your eyes
your smile
your laugh
trees
wind
and the feeling of hope

1-12-25   9:56pm

it's like i'm already mourning
the loss of your smile
your existence
slipping through my fingers


what would humans give
to forget someone?
to erase them from their memories
as though they never were

a blip in time
a body without a face
a mind without a soul



I'm petrified of this ending
it hasn't even started yet
people always leave

please don't leave

12-1-24   12:17am

i look for you
between the cracks of life

the cracks in the concrete
that form as years pass

the holes in your wall
the ones you created
when you stuck thumbtacks to hang a poster as a kid

the silence during a big belly laugh

the quiet uber rides on your way home
after a long night

the sun peaking through
your shower's blinds

the place between life and death

1-25-25   9:56pm

sorry that my lips tasted like crayons when we kissed, my lipstick is expired

5-5-19   5:12pm

It’s quiet

Typing

The clock
tick tock
tick
tock

The turtle dove in the distance

A little rain hitting the window

The pipes

Birds chirping in the distance

My thoughts
about you

has anyone ever noticed how similar humans are to rotten fruit? we're all just messed up creatures on the inside with beautiful shells, some more pleasing than the others. take a bite and you might get sick. the rotten parts do spread, that is if you don't take care of them. like a broken heart...

9-2-24   9:07pm

why are mornings
the worst part of the day

when your mind begins to trace
the quiet echoes of their absence

even at night
before drifting to sleep
while lying awake
with your thoughts going
a mile a minute


it's because the crickets remind me
of you
the still air
your books
your scent
your smile
your laugh
your lips

12-23-24

were you also there? we talked about seeing it together. i wonder if we were in the same theater. sitting on opposite sides but same seat, same row. the universe playing a trick on us. like we're meant to cross paths but never destined to look in the same direction.

1-19-2020    10:20pm

My heart
has made up its mind

I’ve written about you
so many times already
And my fingers
urge me to keep going

My mind is driving me nuts
overwhelmed by how much space
you occupy in it


I keep everything huddled up inside
far far away
from my mouth


Maybe when I’m ready
I’ll be able to tell you
what the heart wants you to hear


I’ve glimpsed sides of you
no one has ever seen
I’ve seen you evolve
into this beautiful creature
that no other girl witnessed

1-21-25   7:07pm

we met in the winter

icy driveway
opening car doors
blasting the heat
dry skin
warm smiles

i'm not taking it personally
I think you're quite wonderful, actually
even after the fact
that I haven't heard from you

just to run into you
maybe you'll think it's fate

it's 3am and all I can think about is the way you touched me and looked into my eyes as you moved a single strand of hair from my face and told me "don't look at me like that" so I responded, "the eyes never lie"

it's 3am and all I can think about is the way you picked me up to carry me over the puddles in the parking lot because it rained

it's 3am and I can hear your laugh

it's 3am and no one tonight even came close to being better than you. they were all losers. no one looked at me the way you do

it's 3am and I haven't heard from you in over a week

it's 3am, will I ever hear from you

it's 3am, probably not

it's 3am and I feel like a psychopath

some days i hate you and some days i miss you
today i hate you

10-13-24

making mom a cup of coffee. wearing dad's t-shirts he gives me. listening. offering advice. falling asleep in my sister's bed next to her. "I'll drop you off at the airport." quality time. sharing a secret. "text me when you get home." paying for the bill. waiting by the door for my sister to come home from a first date.