Shallow and content
With stolen glances through windows
In halls
Or simply not at all


-em vidar

How did Shakespeare get it so wrong?
Love was not in sonnets
But in smaller moments
Written for deaf ears.


-em vidar

Because I am me
And you are you
And that
Seems to be enough


-em vidar

I think you’ve cut your hair
Because
Her fingers look different
As they run through


-em vidar

Madness does not cease
I swear you noticed me in class today
When I try so hard
To blend in

-em vidar

My finger nail polish lasted longer
Than any relationship
One can claim
To have had


-em vidar

Today you spoke first
Grimacing as you do
Knowing, nobody means anything to you
even me because how could I


-em vidar

You only seem content
If I am poisoned
Against
myself


-em vidar

You claimed
My freckles were like the constellations
However, All stars
fall

-em vidar

I was too tall yesterday
Too loud today
Too hollow tomorrow
Not enough the next


-em vidar

Naïve
Yet
Perfection of
The unknown

-em vidar

I reside
in the valleys of my mind
because you exist on the ridge
ready to push me over the edge
anytime
I get too close

-em vidar

It's funny
how I was waiting for the perfect moment
And all you had to do
was ask
for me
to tell you

-em vidar

I don't remember
when I needed your words
to feel whole.
I only know
now that I don't,
you've become
spiteful

-em vidar

As you rack up
the body count
did it occur to you
only you cared
about it

-em vidar

I wonder when I became too anxious
to express my thoughts
the blatant way
that you do

-em vidar

Do you know,
you only call me
when no one else
picks up

-em vidar

She gives me
the appearance
of sanity
A lie
I wanted to
continue

-em vidar

When did
my dreams
drift so far
from yours

-em vidar

Time to say goodbye
before I'm dragged under
on last time

-em vidar

I still write to you
no longer for you
but it's a habit
I can't seem to quit

-em vidar

I know you never liked poetry
that it wasn't worth your
precious time
but I have to thank you for that
because it gave me the freedom
to say how much I ******* hate you
and it helped me
with my escape
from you
and honestly
I'm ******* glad you hate poetry

-em vidar

I wanted to write something for you
but all I can think about now
is how I wish I could have bottled your voice
so I could hear you again


-em vidar

5 years
since I became someone
you don't recognize

-em vidar

Made even
the sweet memories
have a bitter aftertaste

-em vidar

she needed to hear
silly little words
that would have made
everything
different

-em vidar

I liked his unwavering
ability to have courage
and how he was more bitter
than me
for it

-em vidar

Do I exist
at the edges
like you do

-em vidar

I wonder
when I switched
into the poisonous snake
you've claimed me to be
I wonder if
I was always that way
you just helped show me
or if you were the cause
Because He tells me
that there is only good
when you told me
their was only pain,
and suffering,
and heartache, but
that didn't matter
Because I did not feel and you
were what was good for me
because
despite all the flaws you would point out
you claim that your love was
unconditional
and I  would find no one else
that would love the broken mess
that I had become
and when you shattered me more
in hopes of keeping me
in your little box
He stormed in
and let me out
and waited
patiently,
until I was ready
to accept his
type of love

I convinced myself,
I loved you.
longer than I should have.

-em vidar

We loved in a way
even I don't understand
and we left each other
you for another
and me
to save the pieces
he hadn't broken yet

-em vidar

It was always cruel
and twisted
It was the part of love
you should live without

-em vidar

I must have loved you
at one point
These lingering emotions must have been created
to fill the void left
from the absence of love


-em vidar

Each time I end up here
your words ring in my head
"only the insane, keep doing things the same"
however,
you never said anything about what happens
if heart break comes
from different pains.

-em vidar

I wonder
if you were looking
to be saved
the way
you always claimed
you were doing
for me

Is it alright
to wish you well
when I know the truth
you chose to ignore

-em vidar

how well
we write heartbreak

-em vidar

I've forgotten you
the only way I can
You no longer have a face
Your laugh no longer a sound I hear  
Songs are skipped
instead of played on repeat
I can't remember if your eyes were blue
maybe green? were they brown
Instead you are a name
replaced with neutral terms
A memory for stories
that exist only because you had
at one point

-em vidar

It wasn't from
lack of love
or trying
just us pretending
for too long
to be
what the other
wanted

-em vidar

She thanked me
for teaching her
to love herself again
when the only reason
I loved myself
was because of her

-em vidar

Were you ever sorry?

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I let you take my voice again.
Even though
I had promised myself
I wouldn't.

-em vidar

Tell me those lies
only I get to hear

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and then
we stop

-em vidar

You've become
the voice in my head
telling me
it's never good enough

-em vidar

Always some truth
in the words we say,
even in the lies
you've accused me
of saying

-em vidar

To you,

We've just met today
for the first time
but I have to tell you
A year from now
I'll realize my feelings
for you and I hope
that you will hear
them then

Lovingly yours,

-em vidar

For the times I cannot love myself
Love me quietly
For when the silences are too loud
Love me peacefully
For when sleeps avoids us
Love me calmly
For when we weather the storms
Love me greatly
So the oceans feel like lakes
Love me deeply
So when I drown,
it's only in you

-em vidar

I think you act
the way you do
to attempt sincerity
only a broken heart could know

-em vidar