I'm sorry to all the words
we did not say
and I'm sorry to you
for saying all the useless ones
that we did

-em vidar

A day full of preparation
for nobody
and nothing
as you pushed us all to far.....
Now you are
alone
but still blaming it all on someone
who isn't you...
because you can't face
what you've become

-em vidar

Something always comes in
and knocks me off my axis
just when I feel
like I have both feet on the ground


-em vidar

I live past midnight
when the world is quiet
my loud thoughts
can finally seep out

-em vidar

we thought it would be easier
time would change it
now all we have is time
and i only feel
left behind

-em vidar

When did it stop being
what I thought it was,
No distinction between the two,
It just was
and now isn't
I've only now realized
what it is
is not what it was

-em vidar

The biggest lie
I have told myself
is that I am honest.
Which is true,
Except when it comes to you.

I don't know if we could ever be honest.

-em vidar

You've got me
in a void
no where to see
the light


-em vidar

I think I keep my poems short
because your words
always meant less
the more you said

-em vidar

I so desperately
wanted your love
that I thought it was what
I needed to be happy
turns out
you were only
in the way

-em vidar

Thank you
for welcoming me
with open arms
and tear filled eyes
as we attempted
to fill our hearts
and find who we were
and where we
were going next

-em vidar

we try so hard
to follow a timeline
someone else
has decided on

-em vidar

I have evidence,
of a time I don't remember existing.
We've drifted so far
from that moment
we are no longer
tethered to it

-em vidar

I listen to those songs
you hate
the ones where the words make no sense
but the meanings
you feel

-em vidar

Its a drug
writing words
not caring who sees it
just knowing
you've created something

-em vidar

As we lay
our bodies intertwined
She looked up and asked
"How much do you love me?"
Tracing my pinky finger from her lips
down to the crescent birth mark over her heart I said
"As many atoms that exist from here to there".


-em vidar

How do you decide
what is right
when both options
aren't easy
and both result
in broken hearts


-em vidar

I wonder how much
we say to each other is true
You always say the right thing
and I doubt your sincerity
It's not like
I'm always on the ball
I'm human and stumble sometimes
but you
never falter
and I wonder
if I'm insecure
or if
I don't know the truth


-em vidar

I'm learning
I didn't deserve
your type
of love

-em vidar

The colour of your skin
masked the marks
you had left
while mine bared it all
hidden only by the
lies
I allowed myself to tell


-em vidar

I can't write anymore
because when I talk about them
I think of you
and it goes back
to when I was lost
in my own skin

-em vidar

Like the sun and the moon
who chase each other to sleep
we always were
on opposite sides
never able  
to meet in the middle

-em vidar

Its always the same
A quiet tug at the back of my skull
begging me to stay awake


-em vidar

I wonder if it would have been easier
If we had ended hating each other
instead of feigning indifference
and having our moments
slip into only memories

-em vidar

You say it's real
but he thinks
my face
goes with your heart

-em vidar

I don't know if it's because
we stopped caring about the truth
or if
we never told it in the first place

-em vidar

Keeps moving differently
with phases where
you exists
and better days
when you don't

-em vidar

Forgive and Forgive
do you also forget?
Is that way there's always a space
for him to come back?

-em vidar

always feels like
the end

-em vidar

Times like these
I miss you
a little more

-em vidar

Our type of poison
has run its course
the fallout hitting quicker
than the high

-em vidar

It was always a losing game
when two people
could never be honest

-em vidar

Thank you
for telling me who I was but
loving me
anyways

thank you
for telling me
my worth
of what you deemed it to be

thank you
for showing me
how to spot a person
who doesn't love me


-em vidar

he wanted
romantic poetry
and thats something
I'll never be

-em vidar

You've left me
to find words
to fill
your empty beats

-em vidar

How do I pull myself out
when I am buried
6ft under

-em vidar

When do I stop hoping
for the apologies
I know will never come


-em vidar

When love turned
a shade of blue
our end
was inevitable

-em vidar

how are you doing these days?
It seems like so much has happened
and you used to play a big part

-em vidar

I do not know why
I have to be sorry
that I
did not
fall in love

-em vidar

I still have things left to say
even though I no longer know you.
Have you escaped this trap
we created for ourselves?

-em vidar