I don't know if it's because
we stopped caring about the truth
or if
we never told it in the first place

-em vidar

Its always the same
A quiet tug at the back of my skull
begging me to stay awake


-em vidar

For each new promise made
we broke the one before


-em vidar

Always some truth
in the words we say,
even in the lies
you've accused me
of saying

-em vidar

It was always cruel
and twisted
It was the part of love
you should live without

-em vidar

Dandelion girl
they think
you are easy to throw off balance
without realizing
their useless words
create the wind
necessary for you
to bloom again

-em vidar

5 years
since I became someone
you don't recognize

-em vidar

And I only miss a memory of you
I can't remember your face
or the way you laughed
and the scars you left
have begun to fade

-em vidar

How do I leave?
When my mind screams
for me to run  
my heart convinces me
each time we've parted
you may have learned something
and be the person I want you to be...
not the person
you really are...

-em vidar

I don't know
why I apologize
for everything
even
loving you


-em vidar

She became a nightmare
dipped in gold
loved the wrong man
hoping to be everything he dreamed
without realizing
it had eroded all of hers

-em vidar

her friend had vanished with him. leaving us alone on the couch. cautiously I turned to the blue haired girl. leaning her head back towards me, I wondered what was on her mind. asking and in her response she smiled. "I'm not looking for love or anything, just something to write about". so stupidly I kissed her. and she
broke my nose

I was too tall yesterday
Too loud today
Too hollow tomorrow
Not enough the next


-em vidar

I live past midnight
when the world is quiet
my loud thoughts
can finally seep out

-em vidar

always feels like
the end

-em vidar

I still write to you
no longer for you
but it's a habit
I can't seem to quit

-em vidar

our time always
was better spent
apart

-em vidar

Our type of poison
has run its course
the fallout hitting quicker
than the high

-em vidar

Were you ever sorry?

-em vidar

Do you know
I like myself a little less
every time I meet you

Do you know
I hide so much of me
every time I talk to you

Do you know
I hate you a little more
every time I see you

-em vidar

I'm sorry to all the words
we did not say
and I'm sorry to you
for saying all the useless ones
that we did

-em vidar

10 days since
9 months over ruled
8 years of friendship bound by
7 promises over
6 countries and
5 broken toes in relation to
4 different accidents that left
3 scars on
2 bodies and
1 heart with
0 survivors

I must have loved you
at one point
These lingering emotions must have been created
to fill the void left
from the absence of love


-em vidar

I wonder if I ever
crossed your mind
seeing as you've crossed mine
a hundred times


-em vidar

For the times I cannot love myself
Love me quietly
For when the silences are too loud
Love me peacefully
For when sleeps avoids us
Love me calmly
For when we weather the storms
Love me greatly
So the oceans feel like lakes
Love me deeply
So when I drown,
it's only in you

-em vidar

since we've talked
since you picked him
since my bones have healed
since I learned to love myself
since I left you
since you called me a liar
since I lost the person
I thought I'd love forever

-em vidar

You've left me
to find words
to fill
your empty beats

-em vidar

How did Shakespeare get it so wrong?
Love was not in sonnets
But in smaller moments
Written for deaf ears.


-em vidar

How do I pull myself out
when I am buried
6ft under

-em vidar

When did it stop being
what I thought it was,
No distinction between the two,
It just was
and now isn't
I've only now realized
what it is
is not what it was

-em vidar

I've forgotten you
the only way I can
You no longer have a face
Your laugh no longer a sound I hear  
Songs are skipped
instead of played on repeat
I can't remember if your eyes were blue
maybe green? were they brown
Instead you are a name
replaced with neutral terms
A memory for stories
that exist only because you had
at one point

-em vidar

Trapped
between my thighs
****** out of our minds
we made promises
our kisses
made lies

I can't write anymore
because when I talk about them
I think of you
and it goes back
to when I was lost
in my own skin

-em vidar

It wasn't from
lack of love
or trying
just us pretending
for too long
to be
what the other
wanted

-em vidar

I know you never liked poetry
that it wasn't worth your
precious time
but I have to thank you for that
because it gave me the freedom
to say how much I ******* hate you
and it helped me
with my escape
from you
and honestly
I'm ******* glad you hate poetry

-em vidar

My finger nail polish lasted longer
Than any relationship
One can claim
To have had


-em vidar

I listen to those songs
you hate
the ones where the words make no sense
but the meanings
you feel

-em vidar

She thanked me
for teaching her
to love herself again
when the only reason
I loved myself
was because of her

-em vidar

It's funny
how I was waiting for the perfect moment
And all you had to do
was ask
for me
to tell you

-em vidar

I am not beautiful nor important enough
For you to notice me
So how come it seemed like you smiled
At me?

-em vidar

Time to say goodbye
before I'm dragged under
on last time

-em vidar

Because I am me
And you are you
And that
Seems to be enough


-em vidar

how well
we write heartbreak

-em vidar

I can't sleep tonight
for when I close my eyes
I only see your face and remember the moments I didn't tell you
how much I love you


-em vidar

A day full of preparation
for nobody
and nothing
as you pushed us all to far.....
Now you are
alone
but still blaming it all on someone
who isn't you...
because you can't face
what you've become

-em vidar

How do you decide
what is right
when both options
aren't easy
and both result
in broken hearts


-em vidar

Times like these
I miss you
a little more

-em vidar

Madness does not cease
I swear you noticed me in class today
When I try so hard
To blend in

-em vidar

When will I
                         no longer hold
                                                        myself back?
I need help
                                         I no longer know
what I am going to do

Save me