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ADS Mar 2017
Poetry is art
A blank canvas and a brush
We paint with our hearts
I never thought I would be a person to write poetry, but I have found it very addicting. Also it allows me to get down my thoughts without being judged or crucified. So thank you for taking time out of your day to read my thoughts.
ADS Aug 2022
Growing up I was always told I was a great listener
Oh how I have strayed from that time of late
Sorry for I never felt heard until now
Lately, I haven't been a great listener when communicating with friends lately. I am just so excited to share more about myself since I have never felt heard nor felt like others cared.
ADS Mar 2017
She is a wildflower
Dancing in the wind so blissfully
Rays of sunshine caressing her so delicately
Drawing out her brightest hues of Blues and yellows with a touch of white
She's gorgeous and doesn't even know
She's been stepped on so often she would do anything to be picked so her mind can
Be put at ease and give her inner peace
Even with her bent steam and missing leafs
Everyone fails to see her inner beauty
The strength she posses to stand tall
Is truly a sight to see
Even during the worse of storms where
her roots are drowning in a suffocating
Flood of hopelessness and fear of losing herself
She finds a way to dance in the rain
ADS Jun 2017
Born prematurely
Broken permanently
Scars cover my body
Scoliosis
One kidney
Reconnected small intestine
At least they didn't touch my heart
Its one of the few pieces that went untouched
Now all I want to do is give it away
Once I do I hope I never get it back
I was born with a lot of birth defects. I spent nearly my first year on this earth in a hospital. You wouldn't really know that for how happy I am.
ADS May 2017
Hey I bought you something....
Well I just wanted to say
I am tired of chasing you in my dreams
So I bought you this dream catcher
Because no matter how bad my dreams got
When you were in them they were always great
Now I want to stop dreaming and catch you in reality
Will you go out with me.....
Unspoken words....
ADS May 2017
Wow my world feels whole when she’s around
She carries herself in such a light-heated manner
I want to ask her out because her Facebook status says she's single
I wonder if she would ever go out with a guy like me
There are so many guys that are more intelligent than me
Better looking than me
More accomplished than me
Actually never mind I will just avoid getting hurt
Because I can tell that she is out of my league

Wow my world feels so much brighter when he's around
He carries himself with so much confidence and hope
I want to ask him out because his Facebook status says he's single
I wonder if he would ever go out with a girl like me
There are so many girls that are more intelligent than me
Better looking than me
More accomplished than me
Actually never mind I will just avoid getting hurt
Because I can tell that he is out of my league
I feel like a lot of people like each other but are too afraid to admit because they are afraid of rejection. With the new age of technology people are always comparing themselves to others which makes them so insecure that they don't bother trying because they feel like the person they like can do better.
ADS Jul 2022
I feel like I can finally see myself
No longer do I wear a mask to protect myself
Or listen to the narratives I have been told about myself
I have broken free
I wish you could see
#Happiness #Myself #Choices #Family #Missing
ADS May 2017
Seeing is believing
You can live without seeing
Breathing keeps a person running
Running to till that next deep breath
That next breath can be so full filling
It may be suffocating if you can't catch it
It may hurt while you are screaming
Screaming about something you believe
Some screams are silent and some cant be ignored
You may hold your breath in fear of losing
Losing what your last breath had
Just keep breathing....Just keep breathing....Just keep breathing
ADS Jun 2017
It fits perfectly
Burgundy is such a powerful color
It stands out in a sea filled with greys and blues
Oh how I love this suit
I bought a new suit today! I am so excited to wear it at work. I will be unstoppable lol.
ADS May 2017
Nothing makes him stand out in particular
He's such a child pretending to be a man
Chasing a fallacy of societal norms
Setting traps trying to find his next victim
Traps filled with a false sense of security and warmth
Traps of which don't physically **** his prey
A trap that always takes the most important part
A victims heart

He's such a charming young boy
Sliver tongued with a side of mystery
Eyes filled with passion and fire
Always in pursuit of having ***
*** to feel like a man
*** to get another mental high
*** to fill a void that he can't satisfy

This poor boy fell into his own trap
He thought he had her trapped
Then she left him in his own trap

He's tired of having meaningless ***
*** that once made him feel like a man
He continually moves forward
Searching for *** that feels genuine
He feels like such a child begging for something
That he cant find or have
Recently I was hanging out with a beautiful woman that I really didn't know all that well. Some how the topic turned to ***. She asked me,"whats the best *** you ever had?" Kind of thrown off by the question I was surprised with which words came out of my mouth. In the past I would've of said without hesitation, "*** in which the woman finds the most pleasure." (Something along those lines) Last night all I said, "well the *** doesn't have to be great. What makes *** great is having *** with someone you truly care about. Someone you would be willing to risk it all for."
ADS Apr 2017
You're given one key
Two doors happy or sadness
It's only your choice
I feel like a lot of people choose to look and dwindle on the negative things in life. Where's other choose to always look at the positives even when they have nothing going for them.
ADS Mar 2017
In my mind I try to paint a colorful picture of you
But it always comes out black and white
I will never forget your eyes
for how they made my mind color blind
ADS Apr 2017
Please come dance with me
Come dance with passion and heart
Don't step on my heart
ADS Sep 2022
I feel in the wrong
I have been swallowing my heart
Torn between what is and what could be
I wish I didn't feel this way
I don't feel broken
But oddly incomplete
Why do you feel like the missing piece
My wife  already loves me endlessly
Yet I constantly daydream about us three
09.06.2022
ADS Jun 2017
Every line is alive
Filled with emotion
Only if you could read
All the poems that I have wrote
For I have deleted many of mine
Some I wish I would've kept them alive
I have deleted so many of poems I have written. I even have some poems that I chose to keep hidden for they felt incomplete
ADS May 2017
Shes paper thin
She wants the wind to take her away
Away from all this pain
She wears it all over ghostly white face
Her skin is colder than ice
Flames burning her internally
She is silently screaming out in pain
Shedding tears no one can see
She tries to push out words to sound okay
While her lungs keep collapsing with every breath she takes
She keeps telling herself everything will be okay
But she keeps falling into pits filled with demons
Demons that make her feel comfortable
Demons that tell her everything she wants to hear
Although see knows they all just want one thing
To give her a false sense of security
Just so they can dance with her heart
When all they plan to do is tear it apart
Its just such a hard thing to see
When all you want to do is tell her everything is okay
ADS May 2017
I don't want this
I am standing here looking clueless
Clueless to what is happening
I have accepted it won't end well
Still here I am
Standing here hoping it will be okay
I am terrified because today he looked at me
Looked at me with a fire that I have never seen
A fire that spoke with passion and love
A look that pierced my soul
I have bullet proof armor but his shot
Nearly killed me....
Why.... I didn't ask for this
ADS Mar 2017
Why wait...
Why wait for one door to close
Just to have another open
What keeps you waiting
Don't fear change
The past is the past
There is no future in that

Get angry
Throw all your emotions aside
Don't walk through that next door
Kick that next door off of its hinges
If you don't like what you find
Do it again
Then again
And again
Don't stop until you find what you want
Because each door you kick in is only going to make you stronger
Never settle for less than you deserve
One thing I love about myself is that when I start getting down in life I find my next passion and or I change what is happening. Sometimes it hurts at first but you have to make that next move or you are simply just treading water HOPING it will get better. Don"t let faith control you because if you want to live off faith go play slot at the casino and go broke. Then don't ask yourself what went wrong.
ADS Apr 2017
It was a very long chase
I chased it for far too long
The chase ended when I actually caught it
It wasn't all I dreamed it to be
How could I be so foolish to believe
That my dream would become a reality
Makes me wish I could go back to that dream
Now I am awake wishing I could go back to sleep
Sometimes the things you wish for are actually not what they thought they would be.
ADS Apr 2017
Everyone was out being jolly and happy
I sat there in living my biggest fear
Being completely alone with no one willing to lend an ear
Feeling like I have lost everything
All I had were my thoughts and my own ears
Telling myself I let down my family and peers
Letting her get away was my biggest mistake I ever made
She was with a guy that didn't deserve to see her tears
Seeing her everyday was a living nightmare
Because I couldn't take away her hidden tears
Everyday I tried my hardest to shovel my feelings into a shallow grave
Just to have them resurface by the water from my own tears

Everyday was a nightmare
I was bleeding internally while being kick down by people
That I thought actually cared
I tried my hardest to hold back my tears
But that night I cried for the first time out of feeling completely alone
Asking myself what could've I done
Why am I the one crying these tears I never deserved
Why am I so alone when all I try to do is bring joy to the world

I was mourning my own death for so long I forgot how to live
I continued walking forward in this nightmarish state
I was doing everything to make myself proud just to see light
In such a dimly lit place in my mind
What a dreary and dreadful nightmare I was living
But something reached out and caught me

One day my dreams were no longer about loneliness or fear
I looked back at all those nightmares and I saw a different version of me
I climbed mountains without realizing it
I killed many demons that were so much bigger than me
I was started feeling light and cherished
Cherished by my peers
Cherished by my family
Cherished by my friends
Cherished by her
Now I am scared to wake up because everything feels like a dream
This poem starts out about how I felt on January 1st, 2017 and goes through all the days that proceeded it up until now.
ADS Jul 2017
Wow you are amazing
You look very sharp today
You came over here so smoothly
You are so clever
You brighten my day whenever I talk to you
You are so good at your job
I can't believe you remember me you are going to go far in life
You are so personable which makes you a great employee
Hey I remember you...You are the guy with all the jokes
Awe you are so cute
You look like you run this place

I am receiving all these amazing compliments but I cant help feeling trapped
Screaming underwater while my lungs fill with water
Trying to swim but the more I try the further I sink
Its only been two days at since I have started working at meijers again and people have just been raining down compliments on me the past two days. I am starting to ask myself what am I doing here everyone clearly sees I deserve better.....I dont know what to do.  Decisions
ADS Jan 2017
There is always two sides to any story
One story can be happy and the same story can be sad
Its all about how one reads into it

Its easy pretending to be happy in public
To the point where everyone sees you as the brightest light
Your energy attracts people that need something to believe in
Your energy becomes their ecstasy
The feeling of them befriending you makes you feel valuable

Until

You get home and have no energy left for yourself
You feel like you are trapped in a room with no walls
Completely alone with your mind consuming itself
With thoughts of loneliness and hopelessness
Because you realize you gave away everything you had
While the overshadowing feeling of worthlessness
Consumes You.
ADS Aug 2022
you taught me how to tie my shoes
yet they still come undone from time to time
no blame or shame in that
yet you continue to try and tie me down with
your own insecurities
your lack of community
your lack of self-worth

it's not my job to untie your knots
because I am still trying to take apart mine
these knots have been a part of me for far too long

sometimes I wonder what life would be like
if someone else taught me how to tie my shoes
ADS Mar 2017
Give me your hand
Ill show you the world through my eyes
Its such a beautiful place in disguise
I feel like so many people forget to live. I feel like so many people get so wrapped up in the once I have it then I will be happy mentality. But they fail to see all the great things around them.
ADS Jul 2022
light blues dancing with shades of white
sunflowers happily singing in delight
gentle rays of light dancing over you and I
please don't leave there is so much more to see
let's go see the big oak trees swinging in the breeze
or the salty seas filled with endless possibilities
life with you feels so free and puts me at ease
please don't leave

here's my garden I have tended to my whole life
composed of sweet dreams and lovely memories
please take a stroll with me
for I don't get much company

these flowers ground me when I am feeling lonely
for they don't critique me
they love me for being me
still, I continue planting seeds
hoping I bloom into someone others see

oh how silly
wanting to be perceived
maybe I am just lonely
please don't leave
07.31.22
ADS May 2017
Sorry he is blind
He couldn't see your beauty
Of your heart and mind
If someone ever breaks your heart he simply didn't deserve you. This is for anyone that is going through a bad breakup. Just keep moving forward because I promise you everything will be okay.
ADS Mar 2017
It all started when I gave him life
A life in a world filled with passion and hate
With a burning desire to rip any mans' heart apart
He was so delicate and transparent
I got lost in his heart filled smiles and innocent laugh
His bright green eyes put a patch over my broken heart
A heart that was once ripped apart
I promised myself I wouldn't let a monster rip him apart
I will protect him with whats left of my heart
Even if it tears me apart

Now he is a little older and its breaking my heart
He's starting to see the passion and hate that drives this place
He's ever so slowly taking apart my heart
All I have ever tried to do was sew him together when he fell apart
I tried my hardest to protect his heart
But the monsters are playing with his heart
Its tearing me apart

My old heart aches for his love
I gave him everything
Now he wont even talk to me
The monsters got to his heart
Once a monster enters your heart it never leaves
Which is ripping me apart because
I tore him apart
ADS Apr 2017
So many boys cry about this made up space
So many girls use it as an excuse to call a guy fake
Truth be told some people are best off as friends
If you don't see it everyone else does
Time will show you what you are meant to be
Don't hurt yourself about being in this zone
It hurts a ton more not knowing if you are there are not
It takes a toll on your mind and heart
It can tear the strongest person apart
True strength comes to those that accept this zone
Even more for those that love this zone
You will find people that put you in this zone
But your mind will battle your heart
Your heart will scream please catch me
While your mind says please don't lose this person
For one they make your world seem less dark
If you don't find this zone then leave that person playing
With your heart because they don't appreciate your well being
So if you truly care about this person that put you in this zone
Then let it happen and don't push them way
Because it will just makes you weak and bitter
Real men and woman embrace this zone
They understand this is where you can heal
Heal your mind
Heal your heart
Heal your friendship
Heal yourself so you wont miss that next person
Today I finally made it to the friend zone. I honestly can say I couldn't be happier. I feel so free and my mind isn't clutter with doubt or pain. Just happiness and hope for a new start. If anyone is struggling with this type of situation just ask and embrace whatever answer you get, because its not worth having a false sense of hope.
ADS Jun 2017
Short brown hair girl
She stared at me with her big brown eyes
Made me feel like she was going to be mine
Now I sit here wondering why
Why hasn't she texted me
Why did she say we will doing something on Sunday
Oh well I guess she was never mine
I was just another guy....
I went on a breakfast date today and it went great or at least I thought it did. She has only texted me once since then. Oh well everything happens for a reason.
ADS May 2017
Old thoughts come out to play
Mind is flooding of thoughts from the past
Just like a wild child strung out on caffeine
Every time I catch-up to my thoughts
They keep running away from me
Now I'm losing sleep
Because the dead version of me
Is haunting my dreams
Here I lay wide awake
Wishing I could sleep
There are some nights where I just reflect on things I've done in the past. So some days I write those experiences down just to get them out of my mind.
ADS Apr 2017
Everyone alive has twenty four hours of choices
Everyone has good and bad days
The key is finding the good during bad days
That's when you are truly the happiest
If you can't find the good
If you can only find negatives
Then you must focus on removing the negativity
So you can smile again
Just keep smiling and everything will fall into place. It takes more energy to be sad than it does to be happy. So be happy and grateful for what you have because there's always someone that has it worse than you.
ADS May 2017
Get yourself out of bed
When you are in bed you are dead
There's no future living in the past
Wash the cuts and scars off of your body
Let today be the first day of a new chapter
Because you cannot rewrite the past
Its hard to let go of the past but sometimes that's all you can do....
ADS Mar 2017
Be a risk taker
Never be scared of failing
Failing makes you grow
I've been on a motivational tirade lately. Sorry not sorry
ADS Mar 2017
Dreary cloudy days
Wishing I had someone to
Nap the day away
Wishing I had someone to cuddle the day away.
ADS Jun 2017
Teapot be whistling
Nothing to pour it into
A helpless feeling
I need to find my next passion. I am that type of person that is completed dedicated to something or not at all.
ADS May 2017
Not searching for it
Just living what you believe
Breathing with such ease
Keeping life simple is the key to happiness in my opinion.
ADS Mar 2017
That moment of serenity I've been yearning for
It's been so long that it feels weird
I haven't felt as healthy as I do right now
Mentally and pyschically
Feeling like all the pieces are coming together
There's no better feeling
I praise you for showing me the light
When I was lost in such a dark place
It's been so long since I've felt as confident about life as I do right now. Schools going great. I got my first check from my new job and I got paid more than I expected. I'm hanging out with some high school friends this weekend. Getting myself back out on the dating scene. Or at least sooner than later. So life's good.
ADS Mar 2017
Born in this world as a innocent cub
Born into a world of temptations and desires
I use to be so scared of rejection and chased perfection
I lost my vision of perfection when I was introduced to temptations
I have had countless dances with these temptations
They just made me feel so free from this pursuit of perfection
This chase has led me astray and introduced me to a world of gray

A world of gray filled with nothing but space and me
I have used every fiber in me to paint my world of gray
By drinking just to sleep when I didn't even believe in me
Running miles for people that wouldn't even get out of bed for me
Doing everything to fit in instead of trying to stand out
Pretending that everything is okay while I was internally bleeding
Giving people chances that didn't even deserve a second one
Having *** just to feel something

Now my world is no longer gray
Its turned into a beautiful shade of white
Ready for me to paint a masterpiece
Time to let this little light of mine shine
And get what is mine....
My homework. You are welcome Lilly.
ADS May 2017
He set his hooks deep into her soul
She took the daggers from her past to **** him
Some how they both survived
In the end they tried saving one another
The closer they got to one another
The more the hooks pulled her apart
The more he bled
Now they have truly met their end
Not strong enough to save what they had
Now they are both dead
I hate seeing my friends jump from being in a relationship with someone to have it end. Then a few weeks past and they find themselves in the same situation with the same person.
ADS Mar 2017
Long blonde hair and blue eyes
A smile that once completed me
All the silly things I did to make her smile back at me
I did everything I could to make her happy
Even after she left me
ADS May 2017
Dear new guy,

Tomorrow is a big day
Not because it's Mother's Day
It's also her day
Today might be a emotional marathon
She might text you back immediately
She might text you back hours later
There will be no in between

Whatever you do don't play this game
I don't care how tired you are
Get up and surprise her with a breakfast date
When you get there she may be stubborn
She might tell you that she needs to put on some makeup
Don't let her
Lie if you have to and tell her that you have a reservation
Tell her she doesn't have time to get all dressed up

Now you guys are at breakfast
Keep the conversation light and fun
Try your hardest to push the conversation away from negativity
Make her laugh
She may not laugh but don't worry
You are making her day
All you have to do is stare into her eyes
Stare into her eyes and make her feel like she
Is the only girl in the world

Then take a trip to the park
Let her hair flow in the wind
While you dance with her heart
Hold her hand
Just talk about life with an excitement that cant be matched

Then invite her over and have a few drinks with your mom
She may surprise your mom with a gift
She's just that type of person

Whatever you do don't try anything crazy
Just be there for her
That's how you will win her heart



                                                         Sincerely your biggest fan,
                                                                    Alexander Leino
A date that I planned our a long time ago too bad it won't happen.
ADS May 2017
She was ****** and bruised
Life beat her soul out of her
She was suffocating in a sea doubt

I didn't hesitate
I rushed into action
Removed the blood and iced her bruises
Filled her soul with laughter and joy
Pushed her to keep moving forward

Now she found a man off a dating app
She has now disappeared from my life
She ran away with a military man

Oh how I fear she will reenter my life
Broken and destroyed
For I believe they are moving way too fast
Kind of crazy they met one another for their first date three days ago. Now shes already hanging out with his family and actually went to Indiana with them today. What a strange 30 year old man trying to move so fast when he just got back from 10 years of service. Oh well... It sounds like shes happy. I couldnt be happier for her.
ADS Jun 2017
Don't bleed for someone
If you cant show them the cuts
If they won't show theirs
Some many people nowadays fear showing their true feelings for one another. Everyone wants something thats perfect but fear rejection.
ADS Mar 2017
I am sorry for letting a few bad people tear us apart
I am sorry for talking with so much bitterness
I am sorry for throwing you to the wolf
I am sorry for silently watching him destroy you
I am sorry for leaving you when you needed me
I am sorry for making you cry
I am sorry for being difficult
I am sorry for pushing you away
I am sorry for trying to fix us while I was still trying to fix myself
I am sorry for falling for you so quickly
I am sorry for holding on for so long
I am sorry for not understanding why we are holding onto each other for so long.
I am sorry for still having feelings for you
I am sorry for missing you like crazy
I am sorry for being the jealous type
I am sorry for everything
I am sorry for this since it probably doesn't mean anything to you
I am sorry I'll leave you alone and let you be happy
I am sorry for never saying sorry
So sorry.....
It started so quickly and ended so much quicker and yet we still are trying to put the missing pieces together. Even after going months without talking. Just *****....So like I said I am sorry and just wanted to tell you that.
ADS May 2017
I was jogging through a long hallway
I was so eager to see the voice that echoed through the halls
I turned the corner and realized it was my mom

What was she doing here??
I didn't invite her

Then I noticed a breathtaking ensemble sprawled out before me
Beautiful wood tables with crystal clear wine glasses which were complimented with big circular plates

I couldn't believe what I was seeing before me
I was only in the bathroom for ten minutes
Changing into a old sweatshirt and light blue shorts

I decided to scan the rest of the room quickly
I firstly saw the angel I spent the entire day with
Next to her was her dad
When I made eye contact with her dad he responded with, "Of all things you did today you did two things right. You showed my daughter an amazing time and secondly when we asked you to stay for dinner you said yes without hesitation. We coordinated this with your mom a couple of days ago, because you are the man, that my daughter deserves in her life. So this is a thank you."

I was still confused because I had no idea where my dad or her mom was

Why was I put in this position when she was talking to another guy
She seemed so set on him but did something happen? Regardless...

A feeling of fruition consumed my soul
I sat down in one of the chairs
I took a bite of some of the shrimp on my plate
Then I woke up..............
I hate when dreams feel so real. Ughhhh I want to go back to sleep.
ADS May 2017
I wonder what would happen
If everyone I knew could read my poems
What would change?

Would people call me fake
For the mask I wear
I always show everyone I am happy
I know some days that's true

But there are many days
I put on a mask to hide my sadness
I don't wear this mask because I am strong

I wear it for people that aren't
Then I wonder why put on this mask
Is it worth it?

Worth pretending that everything is okay
Worth not letting people in that may feel the same

Oh how I wonder how things would change....
I always try to be one of the brightest and warmest lights in the room. I feel like it just helps those that aren't happy.
ADS Mar 2017
Juggler of my life
I do my best to keep up
But drop the best things
I have every reason to be happy. I am doing very well at school. Been working out since janauary and doing well at my new job but I still sacrifice some of the best things in my life.
ADS May 2017
Well this wasn't expected
How did I end up here with her
Is this a sad story or a great beginning
She has always hated me
All I ever was was nice to her

We shared a few drinks
She got drunk then started talking to me
Like I was her best friend
I was just sitting there laughing
Laughing about how she completely lost
her tough exterior

She was melting into the palm of my hand
Telling me to open up more
Talk about whatever I wanted
What a weird position I was in
I could have easily taken it to the next level
I was just enjoying the moment
We laughed for about an hour straight
Then we called it a night
Weird date where I spent $80 on our meal. We had quite a few drinks. She told me she had a amazing time. So I guess I did something right.
ADS Mar 2017
Time to dig myself out of this shallow grave
That I have dug for myself
I am tired of telling myself I am...wasn't
Good enough for anyone or myself
Because I cant bring the past back to life
The past is dead and so my old life
In the past I would focus more on others happiness over my own and I became a shell of myself. I have promised myself that I have to focus on myself and everything else will fall into place.
ADS May 2017
Standing at the highest peak
Looking down at the beautiful land below him
Feeling a little light
Ready to jump and just let go
Let go of everything he has ever built
He has built castles
He has built a family he would die for
He has built everything he's ever dreamed of
He still feels like there's something missing
Missing something he can't find the blueprint for
A blueprint that would complete his ultimate project
A project that feels like it will never be finished
Just reminder those that look like they have everything together probably feel as incomplete as you do at this very moment. Its not a sprint its a marathon. (I honestly just hopped on here and just started writing. I have been doing it a lot lately and it kind of surprises me what comes out.)
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