It's not what you said,
But the silence you left
That cut through me
Like a knife.

Oh honey,
you're not strong enough
to handle me.

Someone please save me
I'm starting to choke
All the words I never said
Are getting caught in my throat.

If I ever saw you again
I would say
I'm sorry.
For everything that I've done.
But since I know I won't
I'll just scatter the words
In poems that I know
You'll never read.

Tell me, do you miss me?
Do you think of me at night?
Do you wish that,
You could hold me
And tell me that everything's alright
Do you hear me in the songs you sing
Or see me in all the little things
You do.
Cause those are all the things
I want to tell you.

She kisses her demons
More than she kisses
Actual boys.

Oh the things we do for love.
We go to war,
We ****,
We lie,
We steal,
We cheat.
But one of the saddest of all
Is we try to be someone everyone else loves
Rather than loving ourselves.

I guess the step I took
Was too heavy.
The thin ice finally broke
And we are slowly sinking
To the bottom.
Unable to breathe,
Conscious every second.

We are lucky enough to be a chapter
in the Universe's storybook.
Let's make it a good one
Worth reading!

I hate that I’m not stronger
I hate that I’m so scared
I hate the control that you still have
I hate that I still care
I hate that I can’t cut you off
That my lips can’t say goodbye
I hate that you still make me laugh
I hate that you still make me cry.
I hate that the only time I write
Is when I’m writing about you
That after everything that’s happened
Your love is still my muse.  
I hate the fact that I still love you
Even if it’s not the same
I hate that we’re in this ******* mess
And I’m the one to blame.
But mostly I wish I hated you
As much as I hate me
Cause maybe then I would be happier
Maybe then I’d finally feel free.

I loved you with my entire heart
my entire soul
my entire existence.
Every broken part of me
belonged to you.

She wasn't the kind of person
Who sobbed loudly.
No.
She was the kind of person
Who hid her tears from everyone.
Who cried late at night when
Everyone else was asleep.
Who had to grab her stomach
To hold herself together.
Who silently gasped for air.
Who had no one but the moon
To comfort her

The goal is to climb the mountain
Not carry it.

My body feels
So hollow.
I never knew how heavy
Emptiness could be.

My existence
Just
Feels
So
Heavy

I can't discern left
From right when
I'm with you,
How am I supposed to
Think straight?

Why do we expect love to make us whole
When more often than not
It leaves us more broken than before

And so we hold on,
despite the heartache
we hold on.
Despite the pain
we hold on,
despite the scars
we hold on.
Despite the sadness, and loneliness and tears
we hold on.
Why do we hold on?

We hold on out of hope
that one day things will be okay
we hope.
For the person that we fell in love with to return
we hope
that the mask we fell in love with wasn't really a mask at all
we hope.
that maybe we didn't get ******* over
and that this will be the person who finally loves us for all that we are.

So we hold on to hope, despite it all
thinking maybe
this will be it.

I won't tell you to not be sad
Because someone out there has it worse,
Because often times, there's nothing worse
Than being stuck in your own mind.

So where are you from?
The teacher asked me,
No greeting,
Nothing.
Just those five words.
As I stared blankly, shocked.
Are you Korean or Japanese?
Do you speak chinese?
You must be really good at math.
It's majority rules not minority rules.
Go back to where you came from.

I am from china.
I do not speak the language.
I ******* **** at math,
I was adopted.
And Im right where I'm supposed
To be.

There are three ways pain
changes someone.
It can make them.
It can break them.
Or they can learn
to love the fire.

Some moments I think I’ll be okay.
Like the earth beneath my feet isn’t shaking
Like my castle isn’t crumbling
Like every fiber of my existence doesn’t belong to you.
But then the earthquakes come
And the waves of emotion ensue
And I’m forced to face the fact
That now I’ll have to cherish the thought of you
For longer than I had you
And I’m forced to face the fact that I will not know The amazing things you’ll do
Nor the amazing person you’ll grow to be
I will no longer know what it’s like
To kiss you
To hug you
To laugh with you
To hold hands with you
To wake up everyday next to you.
To make memories with you

I’ll no longer know what it’s like to grow old with you

You brought me peace
And happiness
And home

One by one
the list gets longer.
Promises of continuity
turn into emotional tourism.
The word "goodbye"
has built a permanent home
behind my teeth.
But despite the familiarity,
I am still left with a bitter taste.
Alone, I choke on the silence
as I sit in the presence
you once filled
wondering what the hell
is so wrong with me
that no one ever stays

You reached into my ribcage
And pulled out my heart
And the second it rested in your hands
It started to fall apart.
Everyone who’s ever held it
Broke it a little more
Leaving it more fragile
Than it ever was before.
My heart is way too delicate
And it has too many cracks
And the pieces didn’t fit quite right
When they were put back.
You took one look and made a face
And put it back into my chest
And said, “I’m sorry this will never work
But I wish you all the best”.
I wasn’t mad, I didn’t cry,
I was almost fine,
After all who could love
Such an ugly heart like mine.

Me: "You don't want me?"

You: "I don't want to break your already broken heart"

Me: "I don't care, that will only mean that I have more pieces to love you with"

Loving you is like being awake
But falling into the sweetest dream.

After 16 years,
You'd think he would be able to spell
His own daughters name.

I gave you
A piece of me
Under the impression
That you
Would put a piece of you
Back in its place.
But time and time again,
I am left wanting.
Empty
And alone
With nothing left
To give

To my parents,
I hope you are out there.
I hope that you have not forgotten about me.
But I hope that you do not worry.
I have a family I love
And that loves me back.
I hope you still love me,
If you ever did.
Cause I love you.
You gave me this life.
I hope that you are healthy
And happy with your lives.
And I want you to know
That the daughter you didn't want
Is not sad that you did not want her.
But she is sad that you missed out
On everything I've become.
I hope that what you wanted
Was worth it too.
Cause you will never know someone
Quite like me.

Too late?
It's never too ******* late

Since you've been gone,
I have been slowly rebuilding myself.
A garden devastated by tornado
will soon grow the most beautiful flowers.

She wears her scars like trophies  
And tells each story proudly
Whenever someone doubts her strength.

I turned myself into an umbrella
To protect you from the rain
But even though you were dry
You still felt the pain

"If you can take it
You can make it"

-Louis Zamperini

You don't understand,
No one ever understands.

If they don't ******* understand,
Make them ******* understand

I have always been an incomplete song
You were the chorus
I have always been missing

And then I start to think
Maybe I was made to be
Unlovable.

And with you gone too,
I think I am officially
Unlovable.

They say friendship is an unsinkable boat
to those still here I must say "Thanks",
But remember the Titanic was unsinkable too,
but in the end it sank.

The harshest words will always be
The ones left
Unspoken

These unspoken words
Are the noose in which
I hang myself with

i whisper
"you are my everything"
into the darkness
in hopes that one day
you will echo them back from within

Your voice bounces off the walls
In a way that's so terrifying
The devil himself runs back to hell

The world has gone dark
No light to be seen
The best moments of life
Fade fast from the screen
The pain isn’t real
It’s all in my head
My body is living
But I’m already dead

And suddenly it was like
I couldn't Breathe.

Life is a locked door,
but I can't seem to find my key
labeled "happiness".

It's funny how you can lose someone
Who was never even yours.

This poetry is slowly
Killing me

If you want to keep me in your life
Then prove it to me.
I want to be there for you.
But only if you let me.
Say the words and I'll let you go.