As I read through the words. The pain of many cast a picture of darkness. Of sadness. Of despair. This world has lost our children. The right ways. Love in the home. Seems as if many have severely broken days.
If there was fairy dust. Magic glitter. Rainbows we could ride. Magic wands to wave to make you feel like you no longer want to die.
Warmth inside another's arms. Loving hugs to make you know no harm.
Unicorn *******. Rainbows all gone. What has the people of this planet gone and done.
Hope for you. Faith in another. I pray every day you can escape your foul mother.
The terror she's placed deep inside. Manipulated even your brain. What a surprise. Thought that the smart side of you would let you see who was being true. Now you seek vengeance. So much hate inside. I'm so sorry my dear she even pushed your angels to the side.
Rainbows and unicorns do truly exist. Only you have the power to coexist. Once you stop being a child all magical thoughts become truly hollow.
Make your world a beautiful place by believing in your dreams. Don't become shallow. You see she wanted that. You were the subject of a weapon one that can never be repacked.
You were used lied to by her. Abused and know it. But deny the truth behind it.
Search for your rainbow. There's truly a *** of gold. Not like the one she's made you think that your owed.
Nashoba copyrighted 2018

The tradition of ending the old year ringing in the new. What has this tradition really mentioned to you?
It's a fun thing to do. I get it for the most part. But to me it's just another winter day.
As with all the holidays the consumers sink in. Ringing in the new year is just another sin.
The money you have wasted just a few days ago, now you're credit cards are huge so owe and off you go.
Make the resolution to be your self this year. Why must you follow what others do each and every year?
Maybe you all can realize the rich and famous are the ones that you follow are the ones that are getting more rich.
Don't get drunk at midnight should be a resolution to make to your self if you  can't find a way to put the alcohol away.
Help another that isn't so lucky a small token of maybe even a hat goes a very long way. That's a resolution that would give back.
Change for 2018. Become the leader of the pack. Stop following everyone. Start giving back.

The sunrises with powerful myth. The sky lights up as it was on fire with reds the camera can't collect.
The shopping centers still all a jam.  When all I wanted was to buy some jam.
People pushing rushing like it's the end of life. Of my God there's only one more Barbie let's get into a fight.
Yesterday I begged for food. With others that have no one,  no where to be for this crappie holiday you see.
Jobs were cut. Just in the nick of time. As disaster seems to cloud this world of mine.
If I was an immigrant even better to be illegal. I'd probably have a ******* pillow.
Excuses from the social worker, about vacations and not enough people to help those of us.
Here we sit 2 days before Christmas. No tree in the house and not a single gift. Ranch dressing is what's left in the frig.
I paid my power bill so I could be warm. I guess that's now a choice to be hungry or warm. This life we have is really about feeling abused and worn.
Christmas can come and be gone for all I'm concerned. There is no longer the love during the holidays. Even the churches have gone a stray.
I'll give you this loaf of bread but you must stay here and let us get inside your head. I'm hungry, don't need a sermon . I've heard them all being raised conservative almost worst than a mormon. I've prayed for changes no one answers my prayers.
This time I'm giving up. And I no longer care.
Merry Christmas to all you that have everything. ***** those of us that have lost everything.

This mess the media has helped create. No longer about the love for all mankind.
Is about the sales and junk you can buy. What's Christmas if there are no gifts. Big screen tvs, Xbox or play station, that's all the kids think about, not what they need but want.
Consumerism is like communism. The holidays are basically for junk.
Gold digging *******, teaching her off spring the same. Life is filled with so much hatred it is truly a shame.
Many are alone. Become depressed as they have no home. No food to eat. No families to greet. Or they have the families, but they are just like the holidays as fake as that tree in the corner of your house.
Suicide rates climb high on Christmas day. Depression sinks in deep as they are forced to feel like they have no others. Children ripped from their arms due to greed. But hey that's what Christmas is supposed to be.
Dam the poor. Leave them out to die. For the majority of the world you all can ******* and die.
I quit the holidays. I will not let you win. As the days mean more than your immortal sins.

I told you how I felt. Finally enough to make me melt.
Not love which was what you wanted to hear. But dismay of life living here.
I'll say my goodbyes. Late at night so I don't have to see you cry.
Silent I will be. Don't come looking for me.
I feel nothing. I wish you didn't either. This was a big mistake.
I wanted an adventure. Not more pain and sorrow to grasp me into the cold arms of death.
I had enough of my own. Put aside to build my life. A new home.
Every day is a reminder of the sorrows your heart hungers.
Goodbye. I know this will hurt. Move on to find your own light of life.
Live life. Love life. But don't morn me. Don't love me. Don't miss me. Don't try. Just do it.
This is my final goodbye.

Red lighting so brilliant against the black sky. White lighting dance before my eyes.
Explosive in the storm waiting to break this warmth. Bringing fear to many, while captivating more.
Reminds me of reminiscent times as a young care free child waiting for the storms. The smell of the ionized air, the smells of the desert alive as lightning

The overwhelming feeling of defeat, today it was such a great feat.

The night sky is so bright. So vivid of the galaxies far away. The constellations seem to intertwine. As they look like they are dancing as they all touch each other when you get to finally understand.
Laying on the ground looking up for all that has been gifted to us. Amazed as how much resembles glitter dust.
Maybe that is where we all go once our being ends. As we simply are made of Star dust.
  My time here is numbered I know. Never had a fear to go. I see the galaxies with the stars all around. Ready for my new world. I wonder if it will be just like this hard ground.
Death comes the ones that are left behind. Waste foolish funds thinking it's the right choice to make their good byes.
It's not what I want you to do. Just send my ashes to the stars when I am through.
Nashoba copyrighted 2017

Was just dust or dirt to most. Ignorant as to what the earth truly hosts.
From ancient times, what is now considered art. Taught to combine the elements into art.
Red earth, crushes quartz and sand add a little water. Smash it all between my hands. Work it like making bread she says. Put your energy into each piece you create for those outside, maybe they will keep it by their bed.
Your inner strength mixed with the earthen powers is how you create health for all those that you shall encounter.
Your art is unique as the earth is as well. Only a very a small group of people can tell.
Maybe at a pow wow. A stranger picks up a piece, eyes meet no words speak.  You might see some change, you might even feel their pain. Maybe you can pull that away. Or maybe you will even bring them peace even if it's just for that moment or that whole day, you will never know how long, you will just know that you served your purpose on that particular day. You come from the family of healers. Remember your gifts. Never forget your people. Never forget what you have to give.
Nashoba copyrighted 2017

Hey yah hey yah oii yaa haaa yaa.. the drums the songs the words are not gone. Deep within my blood my love for the earth my home my spirit my world. All that my Grandmother taught me to be to this forsaken world.
I dance under the moon. The brightness of her light. Prayers out loud each and every night. My songs and music signing for you. To save this earth from the forsaken fate that has been placed upon you.
I love differently than others, many do not understand. My spirituality is grand. I am free with no pain. I seek no gains from the world as most do.
The only gain I wish to seek is to protect you.
Copyrighted Nashoba 2017

Oh what a prickly thing.
Oh what a fuzzy thing.
Oh what a misconception you can bring.
Some of your petals soft looking with maybe no thorns to stick. Some fuzzy that makes us want to cuddle but oh **** watch out for that *****.
The cactus the beauty in the desert. Blooms with flowers then withers up. Always there to trip you up.

Is it day or night? The clouds have not moved away from my mind in years. I have no longer been able to see the sun through the broken windows of this broken house. Is it day or night?
The floors are cracked the ceilings are high all so dark is this only how I feel inside? Is this no longer how I can not see if it's day or night?
Paint on the walls has fallen off. Mirrors shattered with the reflection of something thing.
I don't recall what that image may be at all. It doesn't change over time. As I no longer have a sense of time.
Is it day or night. I really don't care. I'm happy in my hell as long as you leave me there. Don't come back. Stay away demons you are. No matter what shape or form you come in your all the same to me.
Is it day or night? It only matters to me.

You say you hate me. You say you don't love me. You say you never did. These words you use are swords from the mouth of not you but of another that I not know of.
Pain grasping me, wrapping around me encompass my every thought the images of you lashing out at me the Meer horrific thought.
I've never wronged you. Loved you. Tried to be there for you. But had this stolen from me. As if death was provided at this very moment you wrote those words of hate in that message for me.
You have not been taught what love is for sure. Lost in the shadows by the mean ones in your life. Hateful is the term the teachings that you are taught each night.
My home was full of love. And will always be for you. No matter how evil the words you spew as I know it is not you.
Pray to God. God hears us all. God will listen when you think no one cares at all. I will always care and love you just the same. No matter what anyone one tells you. I am not to be blamed.

Red ants, black ants, yellow ones to. Some large some small. Building their own war.
Huge mounds with tunnels. Millions of you around. Watching how you change the ground.
What is your purpose? Only one we see is you eat the aphids that really annoy me. You are food for the flighted ones even the lizards with teeth.
But here you are beneath my feet. You bite me with no reason for sure.
If I stomp you many more will come look for you I am sure.
My land looks like tiny villages of mounds. With new property lines established by your armies you create.
Can you do me a favor and vacate.

Today the sun came back. No more storms. I miss the lightning we now lack.
  The desert is going to be in bloom again as the showers you shed feed the withering blooms.
The tortoise comes out, saw you early this day. Drinking the drops you laid.
The sand looks dry but only to the blind eye. As the water you shed is now hidden deep under the rock bed.
  We welcome your return. New storms that force us to learn, that life is a full circle in this harsh desert world.
For today I say farewell to the storms we had. But waiting for new ones to brighten this land.
Nashoba copyrighted 2017

Wet sand. Ocean waves. Frothy foam covering a grave.
Silence is deafening. Noise is silent. Crashing waves upon the ground I lay.
I've died today. Nothing left inside. I've died many times. Has nothing to do with sin.
I exist not live. No one understands this road. As death is complex and has many forms behold.
Each time I loose someone I love. I die again another part of being loved.
This part never returns to my body. It is permanent death, just another piece of my body.
  My heart is shattered in more ways than one. Broken in half by that very first one.
  I gave my heart to you. You broke it in more pieces than two.
Betrayal, was the start. Now I've learned how to protect what is left of my heart.
  I am still dead you see. But I still have the ocean to cleanse thee. You can't take that from anyone. You made me hollow and I thought we were having fun.
I'm not the only one you betrayed. Others before my day. Ones beyond the years we were. All the same results, nothing but a bunch of broken mirrors.
  I know you have no heart left at all. Reality is you had none when we had it all.
One day your children will see what a messed up father you set out to be. God protect them from you. As you are not pure or free of evil I know this for sure.
Nashoba copyrighted 2011

Lightning and thunder all around us today. Last night was amazing as the sunset into the warms oranges with a hue of grey.
We all watched loving the gifts of storm. Thunder bolts crashing down some purple some orange.
Boom as the clouds smashed together. Wind wailed on high making the leaves on the trees fly.
Strikes again. Thought of fleeing to the inside deep within. Mesmerized with the lights I stayed as long as I could wait.
Rain poured as you brightened the sky. Ground rumble with the sounds of joy.
What a storm you gave last night. We see you preparing to hide the light.
Let it rain, let it rumble. Grab your marker and streak the sky again. Thank you for the blessings from above. Creator within.
Nashoba copyrighted 2017

I walked with you in the rain. The only one who was able to understand that game.
Game you said. Others were sad. But you were the one that gathered it all in your head.
Life is short each second counts you see. Finding happiness in the simplest of things this is what life was met to be.
We both traveled many lonesome roads. Darkness inside us that we couldn't leave alone. It chased us both. Made us run faster than we should.
But only you truly understood.
Now the blessings of the rain to walk hand in hand cleanse all those fears.
Thankful for finding you. May our love continue to last through and through to the end of our years.
Remember the rain the laughter we share. Many more blessings are coming for us to share.

Mystery in my night. Have seen you once, a pair of you.
I wait for the night to hear your sounds, venture out into the deep hot sand.
Where are you. Hoo hoo I hear you again. I call to you wait a moment, your not silly, knowing not for a single moment I am an owl.
I only wish to see your beautiful face, so white and bold, you truly have my mind on hold.
To watch you fly wings span so far into the sky.
Seems like you touch the moon. I only want to soar with you.
Your safe here with us, no fear of hunters here. Trust me each night, as I shall protect you here.
Come again beautiful one. I find peace and comfort watching you each night.
Nashoba copyrighted 2017

Draw the line between sadness and depression. Which is it today? As I can not see beyond this grey.
Loss, pain, memories of it all. Memories of them haunt within.
Today I thought if life carried beyond maybe I could go be with all of them. No guarantees. Not a sure bet you see. I don't gamble well. Therfore I will continue to live in this hell.
No medications, no shrink talk makes these feelings resolve they just continue to rise to the top.
I balance my life on a narrow walking beam. Grasping onto hope that one day this will all be glee.
I've never tried to take my own life. As I have always felt that the end results would be more hell in the after life.
I walk around as if I am a zombie. No emotions come out. No sign of happy. It's not that I want to be here in this state. There is no way to escape.
I look for beauty in all that is around. I find some form of peace by laying on this hard ground.
I feel the spirit that all has inside. I allow the energy to find me bring me alive.
A process for life. A struggle many have. I know I am not alone. I am glad.
Nashoba copyrighted 2017

I remember your laughter, the smile so bright. The days of all was a mystery in the impeding light.
The sorrows you shared of a life full of change. From a bad boy friend to the poor health that caused you so much pain.
The day you had your mural put on a wall for all to see for life. The excitement you shared. Such a strong gleam of light. No matter what the peril you continued to fight.
I miss you more than anyone understands. The years that have passed don't bridge this gap I have from the memories of holding your hand.
I see your face in many others and have doubled back to check. Of course I know you are free from this world, free from the pain and ill. But there always will be hope.
My beautiful angel. Rest in peace tonight. Wait for my songs I sing as I call out all the stars in the sky, as we did when you were here.
My art carries on for you. Every piece as if you were near.
These words could go on and on as there is never enough to write. Must I'm sure you know I continue to write. Not always connected. Piles of note books full. Hard drives with your words that only you and I know.
I've grown tired. Thought about giving up. But each time I get there I realize how strong you were and that you never ever gave up.
Nashoba copyrighted 2008

Early morning, they scuttle around, looking for some junk that no one has yet found.
Look another bright orange sign, slam on the brakes maybe we will make it on time.
Read the sign. Follow endless arrows. Some little punk changed the direction of these arrows.
We drove for an hour, Grandmother said keep going, we will find it, I know it has great offerings.
Tireless efforts the sun has now set. Grandmother was determined to still find this treasure nest.
As annoyed as I was, I would give her the endless days of driving around looking for those junk sale signs, if I could have just one more day.
Now she rides above me as I wander from sale to sale. Stopping only at the ones I know she would have wanted to.
I silently shop through others junk. Talking to her about each item I rummage through thinking of her.
My garage is full of boxes of other peoples stuff as I keep on buying all the junk you thought was just.
I learned much from you. Making money on this stuff. I love you dearly Grandmother for the lessons you taught.
Nashoba copyrighted 2017

The sun is hot in the open desert. A shadow of hope from the plants that look like they have withered.
Shade we seek the critters scream. Little feet scorching as the sand seems to melt.
Why must I live here. Many folk ask. Would you rather have the ocean to see versus the forever ending rows of Joshua Trees.
My skies are full of glistening stars, when the hot sun sets deep down afar. I have darkness you can never see.  I can see the milky way you see.
I don't need the beach house. I can always hear her waves.  A memory recorded deep in my mind.
The night skies are forever now mine. I fear not the heat of the day. I live my life simple like the old days. I have no wants. My needs are all meet.
As long as I have you with me at night. The stars are our peace in this crazy world.
I love my desert as I love you. Harsh at times. Life gets rough you see. But in the end it is just you and me.
Nashoba copyrighted 2014

Our eyes met from across the room. I looked away. You moved closer as to prevent me from getting away.
You spoke no words nor did I, seemed as if we had met before, almost just like this day.
You captured my attention. I could no longer look away. Energy you radiated was baffling even to this day.
You asked to sit at the table, the room seemed to empty. It was my mind playing tricks on me. But before I felt so empty. That all changed this very day.
Your hand touched mine, tingles of energy. Emotions transferred through the touch. I knew there could be more for us.
I longed for your voice so soothing bringing me peace. Your presence, became an addiction like you were a drug. I was dependant on, your energy.
Love you said to me. But I was never enough. You sought out others one by one, only I called your bluff.
You made me captive my heart, my mind, my body and my soul. Making me be self destructive. You swore you cared. But yet you continued to roam.
You were my soul mate as I was yours. Breaking my heart in half which you thought was yours.
I prevailed, you lost much. As only one true soul mate exists in your life, all others are fakes. You learned the harshest way, when the others slammed the door. Leaving you in the streets. Thank God I knew more.
I realized I had made a mistake. Being vulnerable at that stage in life. You were a player knowing how to see the weakness. Your words were as fake as you. Blessed with ones to show me the way away from you.
I learned much from you. You were never my soul mate but a soul ******* demon. I learned to look past the game face of others just like you.
I found my real mate. My soul mate no doubts for sure. Should you ever read this note, know that I couldn't ask for more. I'm loved unconditionally. Protected by him. I gave this man my hand in matrimony, and shall be for him with him until my end.
Nashoba copyrighted 2010

You vowed to protect our country, the lives of others worlds.
No fear, they teach you, live inside a shell.
You love just as others do, hidden only for a few to see.
Death is not to fear for you, as bravery allows none.
The battlefield is painful, especially for the young. Shocking as the reality is not of what they thought it was.
One out of many times you make it back to stateside. A few more of your brothers left behind, the images grow stronger staying with you forever.
This time I knew when you kissed me, something was different, you said you were never going back, that was long ago, those words were never spoken again.
The struggle to fit in. No peace for you. I knew I married a Solider, lived my life for you. Stood by your side, with every award of honor, every rank of promotion, so very proud of you.
Off you went to the other side of the world, just one more time. I will be here waiting for you till the end of time.
I removed the television, as the news of war continued to wear on me. All the loss of our troops, many friends and some were family.
Months had passed no words from you. I always worried about you.
A knock at the front door, on this cold winter night.
It was snowing heavily, thought crossed my mind, not to answer the door. The dogs didn't bark thus time making the quest even harder than the times before.
I slowly open the door to see what I dreaded many times before. The young officers standing straight and tall asked if they could come inside as the weather was very cold. I stepped back and let them in the door.
Silence seemed to last forever. My mind was already numb. As the officer handed me a package, he began to speak of you. Details were minimal, the words he spoke, I watched his face and lips move, but not hearing his words. A tear rolled from his eye as he said there was nothing I could do.
You are on a new journey now. Still fighting the wars. Lonesome in this house of ours. Now it's time for my tour. Maybe we will meet again on that long road of war..

Upon this desert floor I sit. Waiting for the clouds to split. Mesmerized by the sounds and feelings of thunder. Watching for that moment when you rain down on me.
The tortoise is waiting to drink from your medicine. The desert plants that most see as weeds await the sprinkles to invigorate life be it for a moment that is all they need.
The clouds bellow like plums of smoke, shifting shapes, laughter from the couple who eloped, joking about picking a day to be wed in the desert as the sky opens up.
Her wedding dress soaked, the groom spoke. We married in the storm, soaking wet, now we can get through life holding hands. There will be no storm we can't ride. My love for you shall never die.
Nashoba copyrighted 2017

Love is defined by many things. Love is an emotion that has left even the greatest scientists baffled.
Love from our family can also be pain. Love from friends is all the same. Young love with a mate can hurt the most.
Loving yourself is the true key to happiness. We can promise to never fail ourselves. Providing expectations only for thy self. Leaves no room for others to be disappointed and show how little they really understand what love is about.
Be true to you. Don't ever let anyone make you feel like you are not loved. As love is for you for your life.
I will always love myself no matter what is taken from my life.

Upon the rocks I sit. Moonlight dancing on my skin. The roaring sound of peace exist as you rush to the edges and splash the sand.
Solitude serenity peaceful with the rythms you play.
Not a single advance sounds the same as the grains of sand wash away.
I throw my sorrow into the foam drop my tears for you to carry home. Into that vast hole as others do.
Dear ocean I feel for you. The burdens you carry. So many. So few know.
I'd be lost without your foamy waves taking all my pain away.
Nashoba 2013 copyrighted.