I did not love you,
But I did care,
Told me I was beautiful and fair.
Pain was the weapon you wrought,
Wish I had been taught,
In the dark arts of pain,
then maybe I could have stayed sane.
You manipulated me and lied,
Man I remember how hard I cried.
And even in this time and date,
I can't believe I wonder about a different fate.

Your soul,that choice
how could you steal my voice
The trust I folded from the beat of my heart
in my mind's eye,we'd never part
We gave each other our word
it was rooted deeply,never to possess flight of a bird
Never would I think of the word betray
blinded was I to the secrets of your true way
The promise we made with our soul
it was true,honest,lovely,concreted with my whole

Now I leer and gaze at someone that might be honest and true
but I am overwhelmingly careful,never to be that fool
My heart taking so long to heal
so afraid to allow myself to feel
will I ever give out trust in my once childlike manner
flying now is distrust and doubt,color change this is my banner

Can you see me?
Can you hear me?
                           What do I have to do?
They say be yourself,but what if I am still figuring that out?
Could I not be the wind,powerful,able to embrace who I want
and blow away the ones that curse my gale.
I want to be cared for and loved...
No more pleading with my eyes and body.
Aching inside (it hurts,tears fall).
Maybe I am destined to be alone...
but that is to cruel.
Can anyone see my potential and my goodness?
I have so much to give,is it wrong that I want to receive also.
I thirst and hunger for love.
Just wish they could see me,
the real me.

Sing the melody of the seasons of our song
Training wheels on now there gone
The elation of accomplishment on my own
My joy had a the highest tone.

Fear of the water,it looked so deep
Had no one to teach,learning the independence I would ever keep
No jumping in,went step by step
The water and I stroke by stroke I met.

She was weird,odd,funny like me
Did not mesh at first,but God knew it would be
She was my best friend,our friendship was perfect math
Seasons changed,years passed,broken heart, the fork asundered our path

First boyfriend,really cute,dull humor, flat flute
Stayed for insecurity,first break up,we did not suit
Sappy songs,girl talk,ate many sweet treats
Learned much,gained confidence for the Prince I'd later meet.

Life is hard and it can labor our breath
Taking God's hand,walking step by step
Just hope,have faith, and believe
Learning as we go,lean on the light so we can see

Who is Husband?
Can I put him to the left or to the right,
no he is more than the fork in the road,
he is the road.
On the path I walk and see the most handsome trees
filled with such vibrant color and strength.
The color captures the eyes of my imagination,
the strength makes me feel safe in spite of the gale that blows.
I see all kinds of strange and wonderful things that is the compass of his soul,tears of joy dance across my face and make me forget my troubles.
His spirit has such grace and wisdom,he stands in understanding
and I know I can bring any problem to the chamber of comfort that is his embrace.
I walk my path and fall from exhaustion of breathing the breath of Woman,
and he comes in gentleness and surrounds me with the kindness and mercy of my Godly Father.
His words clothe me when I am naked and afraid,
and no judgement can wrap around me for he bends it to his loving will.
He came into my world inhabiting the presence of devotion, revealing to me true love.

Longing to be a Writer,
a wordsmith of the spirit,
the possibility within my soul,
can I see the ability to really do it.
Aching to grow to become more,
yet so afraid to open my door,
Others will see and make their choice,
Whether or not to hear my voice.

Sadness you have been my cloak
and my dagger
dividing asunder the sadness from my hope
Hope I am wailing your name to save me
Wisdom show me the path of candlelight
delicate in it's way yet has the power
to give darkness it's own fear
I hate this heaviness,bringing me down through the waters
chains grapple my ankles and my arms fight with the very strength
God endowed me in birth with the breath of life
breath to fight with my sword and my shield
to cut the chains of Sadness and it's brother Depression
Lord,surround me with faith so I can move mountains
and the mountains can no longer crush my being
One day I pray soon to be freed of Sadness
and breathe the breath of Freedom

I am so afraid,so scared
How will I be able to bear
A lovely,sweet hearted child
Kind in disposition, loving and mild

A home and money to share
with a body weak and sick,it isn't fair
I just want to be a Mother
A Mother who loves Another

With all her heart
I am late to start
That is what the world professes
Not knowing how to get well,doctors keep me guessing

I just want to love...is this wrong
In my heart it beats it's own song
I want to love and my child love me
So my soul can finally be opened and I can see and be

A Mother.

Dream...
do I dare?
Dreaming,floating, being every where,
where there is hope and peace,
where I am safe and no one to appease.
No heartache,no heart break,nothing to fear,
stillness of soul,no hurt,pain,or a single tear.
Freedom is my blood flowing within mine,
none to hinder imagination,free to find,
Happiness,joy,and abundant love,
God the Father giving from above.
I need Him to unshackle each thought,
each one with His love He bought,
so I can dream without cause,
not always bound to my flaws.
Because in my dreams I am free,
anything,anyone I can be.
Not a captive in my jail,
where I am so weak and frail.
Dreaming I am always youthful and strong,
me the butterfly and flying is my song...
I am free...I am free,free to Dream.

My Love,to understand is to listen
but you must first allow my heart to speak
We cannot hide anymore,it hurts to deeply
our smile has been the thread that sowed our love together
but we are unraveling and our smile is a fake lie
Truth must be our lantern to lighten our path,
if there is a path together,but I see a fork in the road
Do I choose you,or do I choose me choosing you
I feel so lonely in your embrace
what do I do My Love
do you still love me,want me
Too many questions and no answers

Walk with me through the storms of my pain
for it is your love that keeps me sane.
The enemy lies and says
abandonment will be your cause
because I am to damaged with all my flaws.
In my heart I beg you not to leave
give me a chance, promise you 'll see,
hard I am working, past their brutal abuse I will be free.
Vows I will no longer question for I will believe.
My Beloved I will honor our love
knowing our love will be blessed from the heavens above.
Your love heals me everyday.

Feeling like a bird who has lost it's wing and song,
How do I make the sun shine it's light,
Giving the darkness the fear to leave,
And never return being clothed in Glory,
The Power restores my flight and my voice,
Now I fly higher than high and say ,"Goodbye," to the Weeping Willow

Everybody falls sometimes
Gotta find the strength to rise
From the ashes
And make a new beginning

Anyone can feel the ache
think it's more than you can take
But your stronger
Stronger than you know

Don't give up now
The sun will soon be shining
You've gotta face the clouds
to find the silver lining

I've Seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn't ever end
Even when the sky is falling
I've seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That's What Faith Can Do

Who am I?
Inner most me I cry
I feel like I don't know.
So much of me I just can't show

Me the three part being
Recognize not the song I keep singing
Spirit,soul,body
Deeply feeling so shoddy

What a jest,me evolve
Difficult equation that I cannot solve
Yearning to change,never the same
Make the pain leave,stop the blame

Where's the Light, searching for hope
Need strength to loosen the rope
The waters have over taken me in it's mighty tide
Faith lead me on this roller coaster ride

So who am I,learning a step day by day
Being alone my choice don't have to be this way
Life and beauty can be a part of my path
Saying no to the war that has tried to claim me and it's terrible wrath

Will you still love me when I am not young and beautiful
When my face is a road map of my life
And my body creaks with the melody of dried wood in a fire
Will I still be your pretty girl
Will I still catch your eye in a crowded room
Love me through the grace of age
Please see the girl in the woman
And wisdom in the gray of silver
Never leave me nor forsake me
Will you still love me when...

Do you know
Can you see
Would you hear,
would you take the time
I feel so weak,but I must hide
because if I open the vault
you would turn and run
you couldn't handle it,could you?
Yearning to be me
longing to be embraced for my feelings,my words
Remove the mask for good and be loved for my spirit
I have something beautiful to give
be patient and I will reveal it to you
just give me a chance
Give me a chance,I am more than smoke in a mirror
dew in the grass
wind through the sunflower
I can be more than the sunflower

It's just you and me,
No family to be,
We catch up and we laugh,
I have really missed that.
Husband, best friend,
Always there to lend,
a shoulder a loving word,
In my personality, never have to curb,
I can just be me,
And you also be.
We just fit hand in hand,
Music we make,our funny little band.
I love you more than words can say,
For you and me, so Thankful for today.

Hold me and I will be held
Embrace me and I will be embraced
Kiss me and I am softly kissed

He could not do what you do
even when I pressed
I wanted him to hold me
I needed him to embrace me
Wonder was reared when his kisses felt wrong

You and I fit
my hand in yours
How is it so perfect,
you are my answered prayer

You and I are just...everything.

Adoring you in the light
Your likeness is beauty
Your aroma is sweet
Your love warms my blood
My heart aches for you
Your voice is pure music to my ears
You overwhelm my senses
I cannot live without you
Never leave me, nor forsake me
Embrace my love with yours
Past,present,future I want to be with you forever
I love you, I love you, I love you
Jesus I love you

Closed down, for that Mom and Dad said they loved me
I wrapped myself in darkness with each star a dream that I could be loved
You the first made a point by poem no less,that you wanted me and wanted to love me
One of the stars shone brighter than the others so I allowed sunshine a certain place to shine.
Elated I was for I was loved.
The Wall I had built with childlike hands began to burst with hope and trust,opening my hands to hold yours my "Best Friend".

Then I felt with all my being the knife of deception and lies ****** in the light of that star which cascaded with hundreds causing such darkness in my soul.
You said you loved me,I dreamed with you,I made a door just for you in that encasement that surrounded that little girl...you said.

Since then I had others and I did not believe I could take the pain anymore,I would say goodbye
But You,You saved me from all of them to the beginning,to this moment
The little girl rests in Your lap listening to the loving music of Your heart
You never leave me nor forsake me
You have never lied
You simply hold me and tell me through You I am good enough
I don't need to be ashamed or alone anymore
Now my stars share the sky with the sun and the moon
and I see beauty on this earth for the first time
You love me,You said it...I believe it