my blood feels restless in my veins
i need to move
to walk
to run
to speak
to scream
to be heard
to be ignored
i kick out the screen separating me from the night air
the roof spans before me
my bedroom two stories above the ground
reckless
i step onto the shingles
in my kitty cat socks you gave me
my t shirt goes to almost my knees
it waves around me like the skirts of a ball gown in the breeze
my hair tangles around my face
the moon illuminates my skin
my earbuds sing to me
feeding me slow sad rap
from a beautiful person dead and gone
"i just wanna lay my head on your chest, so im as close as it gets, to your heart"
my tears are grazed off my face by the wind
"nobody wants to talk to me, but everyone wants to walk with me"
i crumple to my knees, the shingles rough
"i just keep it to myself and try not to cry to loud"
the sobs ive been keeping inside shake my small shoulders now
no one can hear me
my voice is snatched away by the gale
my screams are sent to the stars
the moon reaches for me
the planets love me
the galaxies are my friends
the universe will care for me
as it has cared for many broken souls before

i sit here waiting for you in the dark
staring at my screen
my face illuminated by the white light
its not just the light that makes me look sad
crybaby whispering through my speakers
rough voice quietly soothing my twisted conflicted soul

why am i still waiting

why am i still here

~and we shall begin anew~
~bursting forth from the ground like the shoots of a flower~
~waves of pure water crashing onto the sand~
~the soft touch of sunlight kissing your face~
~things~
~must~
~end~
~and we must know that we can be reborn~

i feel the need to write a poem
i feel the desire to write a poem
sometimes it seems
everything has already been written
i feel i am out of ideas for now
god knows some other version
of hell on earth shall come along
giving me painful inspiration

everything i do is to please them
i follow their rules
i do as they ask
im home before curfew
i turn off my phone
i work for my grades

but its never enough
im still
untrustworthy
a *****
a liar
worthless
a disappointment

the unconditional "love" of a parent
incredible

im sorry im not enough

I can never forget the mistakes we made.

..........................................................­.................................................................­.

But I can never forget the way you make me feel.

the car is a heap
an absolute disgrace
a blown speaker
backseat full of crumbs
a goldfish dropped into the e-break
cracked windshield
faulty wipers
burning fuel insufficiently
costing me more then i bargained for

its mine though
and i love it

warm skin
soft lips
gentle eyes
roaming hands
trading breaths
heart soaring

i crave you

this **** wild

we are never in complete darkness.
even in a room with no windows,
light creeps under the door.
even in the dead of night,
the universe faintly glows above.

when you have been blindfolded,
your eyes rendered useless
someone else can see the light for you.
they can take your hand
and lead you towards hope.

you're like a book i cant put down
i never want it to end
i never want us to end