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852 · Nov 2014
secrets {haiku#5}
mountain clouds surround
ancient stone walls rough
and smooth
secrets deep within


Copyright © 2014 Christi Michaels.
All Rights Reserved.
haiku#5
842 · Jun 2017
Shutting Down
Tips of pine
Curves of birch curls
Against the crimson scarlet
slight of eve
I rest my eyes

Gently, I wipe the soft oak table
Cotton and lace draped
Fruit ń avocados
nestled in a bowl
A sweet for the morning

The day dissolves
My weary mind
My weary bones
My heart...weary

I turn from the world
Tuning into only the
simplest, base sounds
Hues of gentle reflection

The angst that
has gripped
too many moments
of too many hours
of too many days
Just now begins to ebb
Just now able
to breathe
at a gentle gait

Three down comforters and
feather pillows fluffed into a nest
My shoulders can rest
Lights down low,
I find my warmth
within this
divine softness

Shutting down...
The sounds,
the warmth
my breath
Let the dreams take me away


#shuttingdown
Copyright © 2017.
Christi Michaels.
All Rights Reserved.
840 · Dec 2015
Crazy Makin'
'
There is no understandin' for Crazy Makin'
                It just is, what it is, what it is...
There is no formula to fix things so broke
                It just is, what it is, what it is...

There are no words to express,
when the shootin' starts and your the target.
All you can do is take cover and hope your
ear drums don't pop.
When you become the focus of all
disappointment and anger...
No way to rest in that.
No way to heal there.  
No way to breath comfortably any more...

Where do we find the strength to escape.
Put our blown up parts back together again.
What if we are too ****** and damaged
to connect the pieces.
How do you mend a heart ripped to shreads

I ask this....
What then,
What then... Cuz,
               It just is what it is what it is....


Copyright © 2014 Christi Michaels.
All Rights Reserved.
RE-POST
833 · Nov 2014
Ethereal Tears from Heaven
Condensation
Formed the Cloud
That caused the Rain
To Fall
Gathering Force
Gathering Speed
Gravity pulling them down

Banging the roof
Pounding cement
Soaking into Grass

Washing Trees
Flowing with ease
Hungry to Kiss the Earth

Falling...........The Descent
Unexpected yet
Predetermined
Power in numbers
Joining into One
Filling Rivers
Lakes
The Dry parched ground

All hungry
Ravenous
Having waited For This moment
To Welcome
Ethereal Tears from Heaven


Copyright © 2014 Christi Michaels.
All Rights Reserved
***!Rain...Aah Cha Cha- Cha Cha!***
824 · Jun 2019
Zinnias
Christi Michaels MoonFlower
Jul 2016/ repost

Zinnias

I came upon
a parade of
Zinnias today...
lined along the
pave-way,
wild and wily.
An infinite variety
of colorful heads
popping up and out,
like eyes of
wary prairie dogs,
on the lookout
for action.

Thought of you...
the flower pods
you gave me,
filled with
seeds aplenty
to plant in the spring.
Knew just where
they would go.
Imagined my
hands in the
welcoming earth,
sowing them at
just the right depth.

They would grow,
reaching with their
long thin frames.
Vigorously tall
and full of
Summers' brightness.
Symmetrical flowers
filled with attitude
towards the sun.

Flourishing in cracks along  
sidewalks
and driveways.
Finding comfort, feeling free
in the most limited
of spaces.

Yet...I did not
plant them.
Aware that I am
not able, just now,
to make such a commitment.
To water and ****.
Ensuring that they
would reach their full potential.
A simple promise of one season.
To nourish a delicate,
perfect Zinnia.
823 · Nov 2014
story {Huiku#3}
rewrite this story
in way its never been told
ready to unfold


Copyright © 2014 Christi Michaels.
All Rights Reserved.
Haiku#3
821 · Nov 2014
Black Friday
Makes no sense to Me
Throwing Themselves
into Crowds
Crazy "BLACK FRIDAY"

How could this Happen?
Black Friday is now Thurday
Goodbye Thanksgiving

Black Friday is Here
Scariest Day of the Year
You Could be Trampled**

▪○●☆●♡♢♡●☆●○▪
Copyright © 2014 Christi Michaels.
All Rights Reserved
Black Friday Haiku(s) (Re-Post)
{10a~10b~10c}
818 · Dec 2014
Back in the ER Again
you came out rosie
and turned to blue

shots to immunize...
shocked the health out of you..

sharp corner called
your toddlers tender lip

invincible, you flew  
shoulder met earth
half way round  
hard into the cold ground

meningitis settled in
lymes not far behind
both with fevers and
lots of tears...thought we
might lose you at 9

3 concussions within 2 years
being pulled off the hill
snow packed up to your ears
                      
daddy went to prison
anguish and pain
forced your decision
To become so thin

running through corn fields
dazed and confused..
up for 3 days, don't 'member
what'd been done to you

boyfriend deals..big guy in town
love him so much
you go down..
2 federal offenses..is he still around?

attempted ****** and ****
left you damaged beyond
all so overwhelming
you look for ways to drown
anything to block the pain
you twirl round and round and round

got pulled back from
the edge last night.
a needle in your arm
announced dead till
policeman felt you warm...

Oh My Darlin
Oh My Sweet
Such a Beautiful Soul trying to
Fly Free
I Call to Your Perfect Self..
Come Back
Please Come Back
Please Come Back to Me**


Copyright © 2014 Christi Michaels
All Rights Reserved.
Beyond the Beauty Life holds for us All
810 · Sep 2019
Monsters
Christi Michaels MoonFlower May 2018
Monsters
°••°••°••°
°•°◇°•°

There are no
Monsters here...

this, the
abandoned
soft, fertile soil,
that was
to feed the
Family Gardens.

No evil creatures, lurking behind
these timid
hurting hearts.

a painful place...
this invasive, pervasive,
clusterfuck
of Us .

Here lay
The raw,
The ragged
mashed up
mis-understandings.
An onslaught
of hurts,
that float and fester
in our cauldron
of tears.

'Canvas of Colors'
tells Our story...
Melding together
The frozen and
unthawed moments of
all the
Precious
Forever
Embraces

There are no Monsters here

We are the tender
beings that continue
to breathe ragged
after the forest fire,
tripping  through
Crumbling Ashes
turned wet black.
Dank and slippery.

Yearning to find
strong footing
amongst these
ruins of our
own doing

No evil creatures, lurking behind
these timid
hurting hearts

There are no Monsters here
Addiction uprootes and infects
The most loving of familiesamily#addiction #familyunits #hurtandpain
784 · Jul 2017
the calm
There is space
between the moments.
No catch in my breath.
I harbor no fear this eve
of loved ones lost,
or unexpected anger.

The pups are content.
Tired from barking.
Fireworks, colors
blazed in the sky.
Bonfire set to coals,
to cool till morn.

I am calm tonight.
No quiver in my belly
anticipating a tremor.
A fresh breeze
finds me.
My thoughts
float on the cool dry air.

And so...
I am calm
and this is good.


Copyright © 2017.
Christi Michaels.
MoonFlower-Fluer de Luna
All Rights Reserved.
777 · Nov 2014
babies {senryu#9}
▪○●☆●○▪

memories still close
babies suckled from my *******
so dear and tender


▪○●☆●○▪
Copyright © 2014 Christi Michaels.
All Rights Reserved.
Most Precious Time of my Life...Feeding Precious Beings from my Body...
762 · Dec 2014
leaving love
* * * *
tonight I leave love
everything I held dear

tonight I leave hope
there is nothing more
for me here

finally free
memories of tenderness
reminders of how
our love could be

I see my path open beyond 
boundaries of you and me
finally understanding
that I am worthy

of loving myself
more than I have loved you.
believing in all that I am
knowing complete
have done all I can do

fresh breeze
brings me to this place
To be filled with
strength and grace

no longer will I cower
to your displeasure
now holding my self
as my greatest treasure

pain still fresh..
sap dripping from my heart
will harden now
In defence of my pride
hurt and sorrow.

new paths unfold
before my breath
mists part so I may rest
my tender being
for this night
I await fresh pain
upon daylight

I seek strength complete
to guide me thru
this inevitable act
of leaving you



Copyright © 2014 Christi Michaels.
All Rights Reserved.
744 · Oct 2015
Ice Pick
I breathe this crisp
clean Fall air
I sensed the calm
surround Me
Envelop Me in it's
colorful embrace

Thought I was loved here
Safe in Heart
Safe in Home

Now the colors are blurred...
Not because of the
magic of a season
No...it is because I
Was not prepared
for the changes to come

An ice storm hit when
I was not looking.
Shards of sharpness,
embedded deep
An Ice Pick, uninvited...**


Copyright © 2015 Christi Michaels.
All Rights Reserve
741 · Nov 2014
Morning Light
waking gently
alone
not far away from my home
connections deep
almost half of my years
with this life partner
my precious one
heart able to rest at last

I had dreamt of us
left one man
then two
following his scent..
Knew I would bear our children
understood without question
this definition of soul mate
that once belonged to us


Copyright © 2014 Christi Michaels.
All Rights Reserved.
707 · Jan 2015
restless do I slumber
~Christi Michaels~January 2015~

painful to sleep next to your beloved
unaware that you are there
restless do I slumber
so close to one
seems not to care

wide space exists between
years stiched together loosely now
memories the only treasure
I dare hold close and how...

time once filled with wonder
precious lives did we create
                 joy and sadness                 
in all that we have made

vows binding and forever
sacred words embewed with trust
committments from so long ago
amidst powerful love n' lust

holding space together
believing in return
of all that was held sacred
legacy rightly earned

Oh, my heart it wanders through
our years of time and space
how I miss your flush of smile...
loving gaze upon my face


Copyright © 2015 Christi Michaels.
All Rights Reserved.
restless do I slumber
693 · Nov 2014
House of Mirrors
Yes, I did enter
Willingly
Knowing myself
To Be...
Magical Strong,
An Exotic
Till the reflections back
Became all I could see

Stretched
Squashed 
Pulled sideways
Lost within
The House of Mirrors

This Distortion
Became my Reality
Stopped seeing the Self
I once knew to be true
Only Cracks
Faults 
Seem to show thru

It came to be
I began to believe
Distorted reflections
Looking back at me
It came to be
This Maze of Mirrors
Had finally swallowed Me

Till the Moment I Emerged
Seduced by Sound
Drawn to the Light
Sunshine and Warmth
Told the truth
Of my Being
This Place
Where I Matter
Possess Purpose
Grace

Have decided Now
That I''ve made it back
Made it back and
Found my way
Have decided
Now
That I have made
it back
This is where
I Choose to Stay


Copyright © 2014 Christi Michaels.
All Rights Reserved
When we get lost, it seems so hopeless, till we change our View. Choose to look out the "Good" Window
687 · Oct 2015
My Loving Arms re-post
Felt my heart tonight...
Been trying to tuck it away.
Not the part that loves others,
but the part that desires be loved.

Heard my heart tonight...
It called out for your tenderness.
Not the part that hurts and aches,
but the part that wants to
feel your embrace.

Held my heart tonight...
Held it firm within my
expanding and contracting chest.
Till there was calm and I felt safe
in my own loving arms


Copyright © 2015 Christi Michaels.
All Rights Reserved.
671 · Dec 2014
mayhem
I do not cherish what I see
mayhem and confusion  
strewn before Me

everything is on edge
ready to explode
If we keep a lid on it
it will surely implode

heart in throat
pulse pounds
crickets go quite
time to hit the ground

My skin
it crawls
anticipating
secrets to be revealed
the truth is much too painful

Leave My body
so as Not To Feel


Copyright © 2014 Christi Michaels.
All Rights Reserved.
Mayhem
659 · Dec 2014
My Girls
* * *
Remember when We
talked about it
l'll bear your children
One day...

We will have Girls
You said
It will be OK

No rush
8 years Together
Before we both Agreed..
2 little She's were Born
Cute as they could Be

Now their Growing Up
not as easy
As it once Was..
Trouble is
I did not Understand
Your Judgement...
Because

Based on Days
Good or Bad
then
you can have your say
When Life is Great they are
Your Girls..
A Fathers Pride and Joy..

When Things get Tough,
it's a Rough Day..
they are Mine
All Mine
when Your' Annoyed

They are
Your Girls
you Yell At Me
Come
Take them Away

Doesn't matter
Never matters
if it's Night
or Day

So they are Mine?
Yes, My Girls
I am proud to say
Through Thick and Thin
Through Anything
I am Here to Stay

My Girls
Really?
As if it Didn't take 2

Yes they are My
Our Girls...
Wonder where that
Leaves You



Copyright © 2014 Christi Michaels.
All Rights Reserved.
654 · Jun 2019
Rainbows of Light
She does not lose well...

She will not forget.
It will haunt her,
the favorite pencil..
tip softened perfectly,
A paw, pushed it
somewhere to a secret spot.
Out of her vision...her reach.  

A peice of paper elusive, yet there...
lodged deep amidst
A stack
of most important things.

She does not lose well...

Not in terms of Games or Competition..
but the things in
her life
that Envelop
her world.

Tough, Scrappy,
Beautiful
and Oh-So Tender.
Holding all
things dear and
close to her heart

Loss is a place of  
deepest contemplation
for her.
The memories she has stored
through her life
stay alive,
stay vibrant,
stay with her

The immense
joy shared.
Her deepests sadness;
A cachet of stories
reverberate within her heart,
expanding outward
like ripples in a pond.

She does not lose well.

The Creatures
and People
that live within the wholeness of her being...

Even One pulled
out leaves,
like a building block,
a gap, a tear,
a hole in her life.

She does not forget,
Or minimize the Pertinance of Love,
Friendship
A moment that has touched her heart.

Forever an imprint upon her consciousness.
She is permeated with knowledge... the essence of all things.

When it is time for The Loss,
The breakng of her heart can be felt through all time
and space

Being filled with divine wisdom and insight, She is able
to see all aspects
at once.

The Purpose.
The moment becomes filled with rainbows of light.
She will bathe in that Beam...help guide Them Home
.
She knows how.

Knows intuitively what course will
be taken.
She trusts in the Divine. Her piece of solice, amidst the flutterings of her most  tender,
broken heart.

The history, the moments.  Living memories, are paramount  in the connection she has with All.

She does not lose well.

Her grief shrouds her, a mystical shawl.
A veil that will hold her dearly
till the pain is at least bearable..

Then she will
Begin
To tell her stories
once again.
A friend Losing her Mother to Alzheimer's
654 · Apr 2016
Our Deepest Fear
by Marianne Williamson

Our deepest fear is not that we
are inadequate. Our deepest
fear is that we are powerful
beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness
that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I
to be brilliant, gorgeous,
talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does
not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened
about shrinking so that other
people won't feel insecure
around you. We are all meant
to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest
the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us;
it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other
people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from
our own fear, our presence
automatically liberates others.
Our Deepest Fear
by Marianne Williamson
from A Return To Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles
652 · Sep 2015
Come In...
Come into my arms
Open wide, filled with love
For you

For you
a home of gentle knowing
Strong to see you through

Come into my arms
So I may wrap you in
My warmth

My warmth
Touches tender recesses of
Your heart

Your heart
Need not hurt or stand guard
Against judgement

Come into my arms
Open wide, filled with love
For you


Copyright © 2015 Christi Michaels. 
All Rights Reserved
Revision above 'come into'
Much better after editing, yes?
645 · Dec 2014
A Sharing of Thoughts
~ Christi Michaels~December 2014~

The Evening Sky
Opens to a Canopy of Stars Above
A warm yet cooling breeze
Swirls a gentle Push
Against my Legs
I am waiting once again
To have you acknowledge
My words

This Moment will be much Easier
If I stay Quite
Just Listen
Bite my Tongue n'
Swallow my Thoughts
When you Speak
Knowing it best to Withhold
My Reactions
My Opinions

I have become Numb now to it All
Apprehension fills my throat
When I am moved to Speak.

So much easier to look
To the Stars and Moon
for a Comfortable
Sharing of thoughts



 Copyright © 2014 Christi Michaels.
All Rights Reserved.
635 · Nov 2014
Its So Uncomfortable
Living
this Way Is
No way to Live

Avoiding all Contact
Eyes, Body and Space

Walking Carefully
So as not to Irritate
Careful of what I Say
Always
Always
On Guard

Because Whatever
Comes out
Of My Mouth
Might be the Piece
The Fault the Reason
That it
   All Falls Down.    


Copyright © 2014 Christi Michaels.
All Rights Reserved
Walking on eggshells has never been my strong suit.
608 · Mar 2019
Morning
Waking..
ever so gently.
in this room,
Not mine
filled with
morning light..
alone.

Though not seperated
by many miles,
I am
far away from
my home.

I keep telling myself
I can live there..
and I want to...

connections are deep and have been my focus..
Almost half of my years

Unconditional commitment
My life partner,
Once complete.
.
My love.. my precious one.
My dearest friend, my finest lover.

Created just for me.
Able to play my body
To a comfort unknown.

My Heart to rest
at last.

I dreamt of us
Left one man
Then two

To follow his scent
and found him.
Knew I would bear his daughters,

Knew without question ...
this Definition of Soul Mate

That once belonged to us.

°•°◇•°•◇•°•◇•°•◇•°•◇•°•◇•°•
599 · Nov 2014
A Tenderness
Today there was a
Tenderness
Been hidden for So Long

As if you Actually Saw Me
a Moment
Before You were Gone

You were Present
You felt Grounded
What you Expressed to Me

How I Wish this could Linger
Close as We Should Be

Been so Long
Since You
Have
Noticed

Been so Long
Since you Have
Wanted

Been so Long
Since you Have
Lovingly
Cast your Gaze
Upon Me

Copyright © 2014 Christi Michaels.
All Rights Reserved
Long term Marriages/ Comitttments,, can take there toll. The One you truly Love the most, can get lost in the hugeness of life and forget the gentlness so very essential, once shared with Thee.
591 · Nov 2014
Burn It All Down
Anger
Rage at Everything
Anything
Dissatistisfaction
Disappointment
Afflics the Sensory Receptors
Of Your Mind.

Except when you talk with certain Friends
laugh with your TV Shows,
Find a Tool you've left behind

Distance
Resistance
Displeasure
Judging
To Determine Fault in all things

Disgusted
Enraged
Blinded by Hate
Troubled
Always Bothered
No time to Visit or Date

Irritation towards Feelings that
Others may Have
Not interested
No concern
For the Path of Emotional Ruin
Left behind

Outrage!
Outrage!

Yes
You have become This Blind

Might as Well
You just Might as Well
You might as Well
With All your Anger
JUST...
BURN IT ALL DOWN


Copyright © 2014 Christi Michaels.
All Rights Reserved
Free Verse
Anger truly causes a separation of the Soul.
588 · Nov 2014
sorrow {senryu#2}
great sadness~sorrow
lurking deep beneath laughter
holding hands as one*



Copyright © 2014 Christi Michaels.
All Rights Reserved.
senryu
I miss the scent of you.
I miss the feel of you
I miss being held by you
I miss and
I ache for all of you

You, my heart's desire
Can't have you no more

You, my body requires
Can't hold you no more

I want you
I need you
Can't endure this pain
Don't know how to accept that
You just won't have me
No
Won't have me no more...

In my dreams you come to
In my dreams you want to
In my dreams you have me
Over and over again

I miss the scent of you.
I miss the feel of you
I miss being held by you
I miss all of you
More than I can tell....

In my dreams you come
Back to me
In my dreams you want me
In my dreams you have me
more and more and more
Song Lyrics
488 · Jun 2015
Ancestral Beings
Head tilted
Lips to the sky
Silhouette of Strength.
Ancient Truths
Resonate within

Standing tall
Shoulders wide
Stance solid~ strong and wise
Knowing what
has come before

Heart open
Deep of vision
Seeing forward~back
Layers of time

Fully present
Embracing all
Your being, Your soul
Beating a rhythm that trancends
this earth~this universe
Weaving us together as One*


Copyright © 2015 Christi Michaels.
All Rights Reserved.
Ancestral Beings
431 · Nov 2014
song {senryu#4}
she is the artist
of the song she has written
knowing how it ends


Copyright © 2014 Christi Michaels.
All Rights Reserved.
senryu#4
421 · Nov 2014
30 Years
~▪~
30 years
Our lives intricately woven
A tight knit cloth
Now frayed
come undone
by time
neglect
The living of life

How do I resolve my aloneness
Thrive within it
Having yet to
aquire the ability
to withstand the unrequited desire
of companionship once known

Still too painful for me
this akward place
Others have found ease
even solice in this
autonomous reality
An existence to me
so foreign

I keep awaiting for the hurt to subside
believing that Love
will find it's home
once again inside my heart

~▪~

Copyright © 2014 Christi Michaels.
All Rights Reserved.
30 years
390 · Jul 2019
Grace
She say's

'Mamma,
Write a Poem...
"One, where the Heavens
Are clear,
with
New Beginnings.

"a different
Path opening ahead of me, Filled
with a Strength
I can hold onto."
"A strength with the
conviction of not
letting me go"

"Mamma,
I need this story.
A Poem Story,
That sees My future of hope and love,
so precious.
To be held dearly.
On this
conscious walk,
Filled with Grace
The Divine."

"Holding me tight
and steady
Never wavering,
To help me through."

"Reminding me of
all that
I truly am and...
Not of
what has become."

"To cast a light
upon the
opportunities of
that lay
before me.
My bright heart
That has always been
with me"

"Mamma, I need a Poem,
That remembers...
Reminds me
As I truly am.
'Filled with Grace.'

"A precious gift,
Eyes all abright
Heart open to love.
Without fear of
Being hurt
Again."
Hope
383 · Nov 2014
Instead of Slumber
Mind Fights with Me
Words instead of Slumber
Eyes Ache to See

Grasping Prosodies
Finding Wonder
Stories Anxious to be Freed

Sleep becomes Elusive
Needed so Desperately

I Hesitate to Stop the Stream
Thoughts that Tumble Thru
The Flow that Bubbles
Forth from Me
Becomes my Dearest Truth**


Copyright © 2014 Christi Michaels.
All Rights Reserved.
Poetry
321 · Nov 2014
Out Here Waiting
The Evening Sky
Opens to a Canopy of Stars
Above Me
A warm
Yet cooling breeze
Swirls a gentle Push
Against my Legs
I am waiting Again
To have you acknowlege
My words
Knowing it will be
so much easier
To stay Quite
To Just Listen
To bite my Tongue
Swallow my Thoughts
When you Speak
Knowing it best to
Withhold
My Reactions
My Opinions

I have become Numb
Now to it all
Apprehension
fills my throat
When I am moved to Speak.
So much easier to look
To the Stars and Moon
for a Comfortable
Sharing of thoughts*


 Copyright © 2014 Christi Michaels.
All Rights Reserved.
48 · Jul 2017
the calm
There is space
between the moments.
No catch in my breath.
I harbor no fear this eve
of loved ones lost,
or unexpected anger.

The pups are content.
Tired from barking
at fireworks.
Colors blazed in the sky.
Bonfire set to coals.
To cool till morn

I am calm tonight
No quiver in my belly
anticipating a tremor.
A fresh breeze
finds me.
My mind floats
on the cool dry air.

And so...
I am calm tonight
and this is good.

Copyright © 2017.
Christi Michaels.
MoonFlower-Fluer de Luna
All Rights Reserved.

— The End —