Am I really self-centered?
Well, certainly am I not selfish
Always, do I help people in need
And you definitely cannot accuse me of greed
For my family, cousins and friends
My love and care has no end!

Am I really self-centred?
Not boasting, but am I kind
And loyal to a fault
Certainly, am I a compassionate adult
And do my best to empathise with people
As far as possible
Including even those who don't deserve it
Because, I know what it is like
To be ignored or laughed at
Hence, are there certain jokes
For which I do my best
To keep a poker face
Since, I do not appreciate insensitivity
After all, known am I, for my sensitivity!!

Am I really self-centred?
Yes, there are certain times
When I do tend to be self-obsessed
However, not too often do they come
In fact, often has my heart bled
Even when it was not required!!

Am I really self-centred?
Well, many a mistake have I made
However, always do I apologise
And give people space
I don't repeat my mistakes either
Because, truly do I care
For the wellbeing of others!!

Am I really self-centred?
Many a time, have I cried
Even for relatively small things
Doesn't that tell you something?
The fact that I care a lot
About other people's opinions
Should ideally show, that I am self-centred, NOT
In my life, have I learned a lot of lessons
And, over a period of time, changed for the better
Hope this at least provides the answer
To the question I have been repeatedly asking
Genuinely sorry am I, for all the time wasting
However, I am sure you would have understood by now
As to why and how
This issue means so much to me!!

In India, we need feminism
Because, it stands for equality
Before you start losing your calm
Please allow me to clarify
Feminism means not, women dominating men
It means equal rights for both men and women
And of course, women empowerment
Now, let me be blunt
India is not and has never been a great place for women
Our society enables male *******
In almost every sphere of life
Which ends up creating a lot of strife
It is time to change all of that
Hence, is feminism so important
Because, women need to find their voice
And for that, they must have a choice
To do what they desire
Without invoking the society's ire
So, it is time to dismantle our Brahminical patriarchy
Only then, can we really reform our society
Because, gender and caste go hand-in-hand
We cannot destroy gender inequality with a magic wand
It is necessary to strike at its very root
Which, essentially, is caste
For instance, why do so many rapes happen?
Because, they enable upper caste male *******
****** harassment and **** reinforce the caste structure
Thus, does the Manusmriti continue to influence gender
And proactively hinder women empowerment
Again, this is why feminism is so important
But it also needs to be intersectional
And include women at all levels
Of our wretched caste hierarchy
In order to achieve gender equality
It is necessary for Brahmin and Savarna women to take a pause
And allow Bahujan women to make uniformed choices for themselves
Instead of dictating terms to them all the time
Also, men need to be part of feminism
After all, inclusiveness is the very core of feminism
It transcends gender, ***, race, religion and caste
Was not Babasaheb Dr. B.R. Ambedkar one of India's greatest feminists?
It is thanks to this beautiful soul
That, at least in theory, are men and women equal
As far as our country is concerned
Therefore, feminism is something we greatly need
But it can be successful only when it includes everyone
Thus, in order to make India a much safer place for women
Everybody must adopt feminism
Because, it is equivalent to humanism!
Jai Bhim!!

When I started my MBA
I was looking forward to making new friends
And of course, excelling in academics
And thus redeeming myself
After my Engineering debacle
However, it never occurred to me
That I would fall in love
For the first time in my life
You changed everything
Right from our second meeting
I was drawn towards you
You were very shy
But in a good way
And of course, extremely sweet-natured
The kind of person who wouldn't hurt a fly
Though you didn't know much Tamil
In spite of being a Tamilian
Your English more than made up for that
You didn't speak a lot
However, when you did speak
You were able to articulate your thoughts exceedingly well
And though we never had a detailed conversation
Apart from our debate on the movie "Ra One"
It was always a pleasure to interact with you
And of course, listen to your captivating voice
Last but not the least
Your handwriting was so exquisite
That it had the capability
To transform the dullest subject
Into an extremely fascinating one
Anyway, I truly loved you
But I couldn't muster the courage
To ask you out
However, I don't have any regrets whatsoever
And regardless of where you are currently
I hope you are having the time of your life
Just one last thing
I am utterly gobsmacked
That you knew all along
Something that I could never guess
From the way you spoke to me
Or behaved with me in general
You are indeed an incredible lady
And I hope you remain the way you are
Because the world needs more people like you

It's been a long, long time
Since I went to school
Therefore, my memory of those days
Is hazier than a cloud of fog
However, whatever I do remember
I remember vividly, as though it were only yesterday

Such as, committing the biggest faux pas of my school years
When I was in the fourth standard
By wearing a t-shirt and jeans one fine day
While everyone else was dressed in uniform

Disturbing the whole class by talking about cricket
And thus getting a nice scolding from the principal
When I was in the fifth standard
Crying in front of the whole class
Later during the same year
Exam tension getting the better of me

Enacting the role of a princess in a cartoon show
While on the way home
During the seventh standard

Failing in quite a few subjects
At the beginning of the eighth standard
After switching from CBSE to ICSE
Being forced into a trekking adventure
Thanks to the annual cross-country races

Scoring an own goal as a goalkeeper
During the ninth standard
Failing in a record number of subjects
During the same year
Thanks to my obsession with cricket

And last but not the least
Making amends for my past failures
By clearing the tenth boards with flying colours

I can go on and on
But I think that's quite enough for today

Expectation destroys everything
All of you should know that
After all, I am a human being
Not an AI-programmed robot
How much can I manage at a time?
You expect me to work
And aggressively at that
Handling five mandates at a time
When you very well know
That even three is not a walk in the park
You expect me to exercise
When I barely have time to complete my work
And on top of that
You expect me to eat
You expect me to drink
And you expect me to sleep
Like every other human being
Do you even hear yourself?

Expectation destroys everything
What do you get
When you expect too much from people?
Disappointment
Do you really want that?
I repeat, I am a human being
Not an AI-programmed robot
Put yourself in my shoes
And see if you can achieve
What you're expecting me to achieve
Of course, you love to say
That I need to be flexible
Well, I certainly do my best
But you need to know
That, sometimes, even your best is not enough
When you're up against time
Because time is not flexible
And will never be

Expectation destroys everything
I hope you will realise this some day
Because, if you don't
Then it will be your loss, not mine
Until then, here's to expecting
And getting disappointed

Killed, have you, thousands of innocents
Truly, are you Satan's agents
Destroying an entire nation
In the name of counter-terrorism
Completely abandoning rationalism
And carrying out mass slaughter, with chilling precision

You call yourself a democracy
Yet, you show absolutely no mercy
Even when it cometh to children
Your humanity is absolutely barren
When we call you out
"Anti-Semitic", do you brand us, without a second thought
Jesus tells us to love even our enemies
However, your sheer hatred never does cease

You pretend to be the victim
However, filled to the brim
Is your cup of everlasting greed
As you continue to occupy land after land
And never allow the world to take a stand
Even as there are millions to feed
While the genocide reaches a fever pitch
Because, always functions, does your killing machine, without a hitch

You are so evil
That you **** and ****
Without giving a dime about incurring the wrath of God
Over goodness, do you run roughshod

You think you own Palestine
However, enough have we seen
And enough have we had
The world is mad
Soon, will you pay the price
For your insatiable avarice
Your days are numbered
Soon, will the tide be turned

You may continue your state terrorism
Which you call "counter-terrorism"
However, it is only a matter of time
Before there is divine retribution
For the numerous crimes of your so-called democratic nation
Viva Palestina!!
Amen!! Hallelujah!!

You are a fun colleague
So happy am I, to be part of your league
Very refreshing, is your attitude
Wonderful, is your aptitude
Great to work with, for sure
Day by day, do you keep getting better and better!

You are a fun colleague
On confidence, are you big
I so love the way you crack conversations
Certainly, are you a new sensation!!'

You are a fun colleague
In almost nothing, do you lag
At times, can you be really commanding
Always, are you **** entertaining!!

You are a fun colleague
Hell, can you even make a Monday morning seem exciting
Because, are you uber cool
And yet, never do you suffer fools
Greatly, do I enjoy talking with you
Sometimes, does it feel too good to be true!!

You are a fun colleague
Never, are you vague
Seldom, do you not speak your mind
In you, is there nothing to amend
Yes, you might be crazy
But that actually makes me happy
I love having lunch with you at the food court
And never can I forget our crazy night
When we danced and danced
Between us, did it create a lovely bond
Hence, do I feel I can tell you nearly anything
Thanks to you, something or the other is always happening!!

You are a fun colleague
With you, can almost anyone get along
Please remain the way you are
Keep smiling and take care
And may the Lord bless you forever
With all that you hold very dear!!

Dear Tamil,
Wish you a very very happy birthday in advance!
May you get a chance
To make this occasion extra special
Rarely, are you dull
About you, that's what I love the most
Not to mention, never do you boast!

Go back a long way, do we
And very special are you, to me
From colleagues to family friends
May our relationship have no end!

One of the best things, about my first job
Was the fact that you cared not
About my strange mannerisms
Never was my autism
An issue to you whatsoever
Because you judged people never!

A long way have we come, since then
Very supportive, have you always been
Saving me from a disastrous marriage
You truly released me from a cage
In which I had been trapped, for over a month
Thus, do I turn to you the most
When my confidence is at its lowest

We may be in different places
But our friendship has a strong base
Occasional misunderstandings and fights, there may be
But always care for each other, do we

You are a loving wife and mother
Very close, were you and my late maternal grandmother
A good friend of mine, is your husband
Of you, is he extremely fond
A mischievous but cute boy, is your son
Being with your family is always fun

Very caring, is your mother
You brought me closer to my own sister and father
Well, wish you the happiest birthday ever
May you change never!

How would I like to be loved?
It is a very difficult question
Because, though I appear, at first glance
To be "The Guy Next Door"
The reality, I assure you, is entirely different
Firstly, every individual is different
Secondly, I am autistic
And finally
There is so much about me
That you will get to know
Only if you are a good friend of mine

How would I like to be loved?
Well, let me tell you
Love is not all about candlelight dinners
Nor is it about *** in the bedroom
It is about being there for each other
No matter what
If I truly love someone
I would be ready to go to jail for her
Of course, not if it is for something ethically wrong
But you get the idea

How would I like to be loved?
If you have seen the Tamil movie "Thiruchitrambalam"
Then you would understand
If I were to say
That I want someone to love me
The way Nithya Menen loved Dhanush
In that amazing movie

How would I like to be loved?
If you've seen me at my worst
One of those days
When I am in one of my rages
And keep shouting and breaking things
Or I lose my focus at work
Due to all my insecurities
Rearing their ugly heads
Or I simply drown myself in my thoughts
Refusing to come out of my bed
Or I cry like a child
Drowning myself in a tidal wave of self-pity
And you still love me the same
As you did when I was at my best
Then it is indeed true love
Enough said

How would I like to be loved?
When I hear one of Harris Jayaraj's romantic melodies
And can instantly relate to it
I know that I am in love
And that love is real, not reel

How would I like to be loved?
If you ask me how was my day
And I go on and on
Droning about the technicalities of my work
Or cribbing about various issues
Such as candidates, clients or my boss
And you never tire of listening to me
Then I know you are truly in love
Also, if I keep asking you how was your day
Every single day after work
And you never once tire of answering such a mundane question
If that is not true love
I don't know what is!
And on that note
It's time to wrap up this little monologue
And return to hard reality

You know the famous saying
All good things come to an end
This applies to weekends as well
Or in this case, Sundays
Because I was forced to work yesterday
Due to a massive project
Which will keep me occupied
For a good three weeks
Including two Saturdays
Hence, all the more reason
To positively dread the start of tomorrow
Ah yes, the infamous Monday
Something that terrifies me
More than climbing Mount Everest
Or entering a lion's den
Or earning the wrath of a cobra
I can go on and on
But I think I've made my point
Yes, Mondays are bad
Especially if you've enjoyed the weekend
As much as I did
Notwithstanding working on Saturday
So, do you want to know
What makes tomorrow twice as bad
As any other Monday?
Firstly, as mentioned earlier
I am working on a big project
Probably my biggest in the last three years
Secondly, while the going has been smooth so far
Things are going to get tricky
So far, all I have accomplished
Is pure research
But now, I'll have to start calling people
And these are not recruitment calls
Which are relatively straightforward
On the other hand
I am entering pure sales territory
Which may not be a big deal
For most "normal" people
But for someone who is autistic
It is a different ballgame altogether
In fact, it is like steering a ship
Through the Bermuda Triangle
And finally
The biggest roadblock
In my long and treacherous path
Is not the candidates
Not even the client
But my accursed laptop
Whose ability to perform under pressure
Is even less than that of South Africa
In a global cricket tournament

It is irritating beyond belief
That you have absolutely no control
Over what you can remember
And what you can forget
Especially if you are autistic
I want to remember so many things
Essential tasks, passwords, birthdays
I want to forget so many things
People, mistakes, failures
However, Fate works in mysterious ways
Most of the time, it so happens
That you forget what you want to remember
And remember what you want to forget
In the past, I have been guilty
Of losing a number of things
Calculators, earphones, pen drives
I have been equally guilty
Of forgetting as many things
Essential tasks, passwords, important dates
However, over the last few years
I have made some progress
I am much less forgetful
Than I used to be
Because I make notes in my diary
And set up reminders on my phone
However, as mentioned before
Fate works in mysterious ways
Especially if you are autistic
Just as I thought
That I had established some control
Over what I can remember
I have started forgetting again
And this time, there is no turning back

All of us, at some stage or the other
Have had certain experiences
Which have changed our lives forever
For the better, or for the worse
Of course, if it were the latter
We would have developed scars
Some of these scars
Take as much time to heal
As it takes, to place a human being on the Moon!!

Look at me, for example
Happy being single, at the age of thirty
Except for some work stress, of course
All it took, for everything to change
Was that infernal M-word

Well, it was but natural
That I would be apprehensive at first
However, as I got to know the girl
My heart told me
That I was on the right track

A couple of meetings
At my place
And then at her place
Followed by a month full of daily phone calls
And my decision was made

Our engagement was quite the tiny affair
My heart though, told me
That we were a cute couple
My brain was sure not
Of course, you all know
That I always follow my heart
And so it was, in this case too

Well, there were a few red flags
However, overruled was my brain, once more
On a roll, was my heart
I had everything in life
Or so did I think

Just was I getting ready
To tie the knot
When the pandemic struck
Suddenly, did everything look uncertain

So upset did my fiancee become
She stopped talking to me
Nor was my family spared
Though hardly was it our fault

Well, after a week or so
The silence was finally broken
However, never were things the same again

Often would we run out of topics to discuss
Except for a few mundane ones
For instance, what we had for dinner etc etc
And would she make herself available
Only around 9 PM
This was but a red flag
Which did I fail to recognise, yet again
Because she had lost her job, due to COVID19

As always, did my heart overrule my brain, yet again
And thus did we go ahead with the wedding
Much to my relief, must I say
Since it was but almost five months
Post that accursed lockdown

So, again did I think
That I had everything in life
How wrong was I to be

Right from the beginning
Her lack of interest was obvious
Even on my birthday
Did she fail to spend time with me
However, as always
Did my heart give her the benefit of doubt
Paying absolutely no heed
To the objections raised by my poor brain

Well, this was just the tip of the iceberg
Compared to what was about to follow
When her infidelity was exposed
Never once, did she let me out of her sight
Far from not showing interest
Did she become super possessive
As sudden as a heart attack

My best friend did her best to warn me
Which only ended up turning my wife
Into a jealous ******
Forcing me to cut my bestie off
Which was but one of the worst moments
In my entire life

However, so determined was my best friend
That she gave up not
And, along with my sister
Ended up saving me from total disaster

Though I was ultimately relieved
My now estranged wife's behaviour
Still did prove to be enough
To induce in me, a state of depression
Which lasted for more than a month

Apart from my best friend
And a few close relatives
No one was to know this
Thus, every time was the topic of my marriage raised
Did I have to keep up the facade
And pretend everything was fine
Which failed not, to **** me from the inside

Also, it helped not
That, tedious to the extreme
Was the divorce process
Not to mention, getting further delayed
Thanks to that infernal pandemic

Nor did it help
That my to-be-divorced wife
Threw a few tantrums
Every now and then
In the form of a few messages
Which reeked of utter desperation
Also was I forced, by my lawyer
To maintain a strict silence
Even if it, as always
Killed me from the inside

There was but a silver lining
In all this darkness
Finally, did my brain come to the fore
After being overruled many a time
By my rather naive and impulsive heart

Well, ultimately was the divorce done
But not before we were forced
To pay that wretched girl
A frigging four lakhs
On "humanitarian" grounds
That too, after her outrageous refusal
To return all the jewellery
That we had bestowed upon her
Out of sheer love and compassion

Well, this entire experience has failed not
To leave inside me a few scars
That run rather deep
And may take as much time to heal
As it does for England
To win a Football World Cup!!

My therapist calls this experience "traumatic"
I agree not with her
However, I can equally deny not
That it has indeed affected my life
In a rather adverse manner
My self-confidence, in particular
Has taken a bigger beating
Than did Pakistan's bowlers yesterday
At the hands of Warner and Marsh!!

Yes, we must indeed embrace our scars
However, to expect that to happen
Within a span of two years
Is like asking India to win a Football World Cup
Given that, at present
They are not even able to qualify in the first place!!

Yes, we must indeed embrace our scars
Because they doth prepare us
For mightier challenges ahead
And life is full of such things
However, the first thing to do
Would be, to accept them in the first place
And more importantly, acknowledge them
Because, only when are we kind to ourselves
Can we truly heal
And this doth apply
Even to the tiniest of wounds!!

Best wishes, dear sister
So sorry am I, that I can't be there
On what is probably the biggest day of your life
After all, getting a US visa is quite tough
However, for you, am I so happy
Aakash is indeed an amazing ally!

Best wishes, dear sister
Aakash is such a dear
May the two of you have a great life
You, I am sure, will be an excellent wife
May you both be there for each other
Through good and bad times
May you learn a lot of things from each other
And may your love blossom
Into something as everlasting as change
And may you infinitely expand your range!!

Best wishes, dear sister
So proud am I, to be your brother
May you and Aakash have the grandest wedding
And on you, may the Almighty shower his blessings
Have a blast and take care
May this beautiful pair stay happy forever!!

Are you a human being?
Or are you an agent of Satan?
Are you capable of any good?
Or is it utterly pointless
To keep such expectations?
You live only for money
And your employees are mere tools
To be used one day
And thrown away another day

Are you a human being?
Or are you an agent of Satan?
Your employees sacrifice so much
By burning the midnight oil
Every day, every week
Every month, every year
Some of them have to do it
Just to make ends meet
And you deny them
Such a basic thing as salary
For an entire year

Are you a human being?
Or are you an agent of Satan?
During these mad times we live in
With many people dying
And many more getting infected
You still care about work only
Of course, your employees are just robots
But, if they are robots
Why are they getting infected as well?

Are you a human being?
Or are you an agent of Satan?
With every passing day
The situation is getting worse and worse
As the virus is spreading everywhere
Including amongst your employees
Yet, you still act like Emperor Nero
Who was content to play the piano
While his beloved Rome burned
Is it not your duty
To create a safe environment
For all your employees?
Should you not make it a priority
To ensure that they all work from home?
Instead, your lust for control is such that
You would rather prefer
Your employees to risk their lives
Just so that you can watch over them
Just the way the monster Cerberus
Guards the gates to Hell

Are you a human being?
Or are you an agent of Satan?
You may be a Founder of a company
But you lack basic goodness
And unless you mend your ways
You and your husband
Will die a dog's death
The sooner that day comes, the better
So that your employees
Can start leading a normal life again
Free from your evil influence

You are not exactly a sibling of mine
However, you are my sister
And that's all that matters, according to me
What would I do without you?
I rant and rant
Knowing that you are an amazing listener
And a shoulder to cry on
However, it is providing sound advice
Where you are really in your element
Not to mention, you don't beat around the bush
Nor do you sugarcoat things
Both of which, are qualities that resonate with me particularly well
Moreover, you always offer a fresh perspective
Whether it be work or personal stuff
Best of all, though, you are ice cool
I seriously don't know how you manage to do it
Because, in these two months, I've been behind you
And there hasn't been a single week
When you haven't been subjected to a barrage of messages
Would I have taken such liberties with you
If I weren't sure how you would react?
The answer is a resounding no
Moreover, not only are you cool with it
You also come up with solutions
For each and every problem
As I write this, things are looking up
And in no small part due to you
I'm extremely grateful to God
For giving me a sister like you
As I said earlier, what would I do without you?

It has often been said
That true love doesn't exist
But that doesn't stop me from dreaming
After all, I am a romantic
And it's not like I believe in true love
Only because I've read about it in books
Or seen it happen in movies and TV shows
In fact, I've experienced it myself
Not once, but twice
On the first occasion, I was young and naive
Enjoying life to its fullest
And when the love bug bit me
It was one of my happiest moments
I looked forward to every single day
And for the first time in many years
I actually made a concerted effort
To excel in academics
However, to cut a long story short
I missed the bus by a mile
When it came to confessing my feelings
Right, let's come to the second occasion
Technically, it was an arranged marriage
But for me, it was as good as a love marriage
Because, after our engagement
I grew so deeply attached to the girl
That I was blind
To all the red flags thrown at me
Every now and then
Again, to cut a long story short
It eventually ended in a divorce
However, as I've mentioned before
I have not lost hope yet
After all, time is still on my side
However, I need to draw a line somewhere
Firstly, being open and honest
Is an absolute must
I will tell you everything
But I expect the same from you as well
Secondly, I am looking for someone
Who is loyal till the very end
I will be with you
Through thick and thin
But if you cheat on me
Then it's over, once and for all
And finally
You need to accept me as I am
With my pros as well as cons
That includes understanding my autism
And the limitations it places on me
Especially as far as social interaction is concerned
Of course, it works both ways
I am not looking for a perfect person either
After all, if it's perfect
Then it's not true love
And one of the major reasons I still believe in true love
Is that it's full of imperfections
That's what makes it so endearing
And so human

Thirty two years and counting
I haven't found true love yet
And I am not considering unrequited love
I've been there twice
The first occasion was during my MBA
To cut a long story short
I simply couldn't pluck up the courage
To tell her how I felt
When I eventually managed to do it
It turned out to be a case of locking the stable
After the horse had well and truly bolted
The second occasion was an arranged marriage
Where the engagement brought us closer to each other
Or at least, I thought so
But the issue was, the girl didn't
And the pandemic pulled us apart
Metaphorically as well as physically
Thus, that didn't end well either
Now that I am single again
Thanks to this amazing human invention called "divorce"
The hunt for true love continues
Before we proceed further, though
Let me get this off my chest
I am a work in progress, not a finished product
And I have my flaws
But then, we all know the saying
Nobody is perfect
Everybody has some flaw or the other
In fact, it is these flaws
That separates us human beings from robots
Which are equally intelligent as we are, if not more
But I am going off-track
The point is, I need someone who loves me as I am
Of course, it works both ways
If I love someone with all my heart
I would do anything for her
I mean, anything that comes within the definition of "ethical"
And I wouldn't want her to change one bit
I mean, as far as her character is concerned
Now that we are all on the same page
It is time for me
To resume the hunt for true love
Of course, we all may have our expectations
But I ask for only two things
Unwavering loyalty and trust
And accepting me as as I am
With all my flaws
And when I do fall in love
I hope and pray
That it is reciprocated, for a change

You know how I work
You know the amount of work I put in
Every hour, every day
Every week, every month
It would be the easiest thing in the world
To slack off, for a change
Or work at a snail's pace
After all, I've worked with you
For a long, long time
Therefore, it would be easy for me to think
That I am indispensable
Or that I can take you for granted
But if I do that
Then I wouldn't be Ashwin
So, coming back to the point
You know I am overworked
In fact, we all are
You have even acknowledged it
At some point or the other
And are trying to set things right
By adding more people to the team
However, for some reason
Things have always ended up going south
At the eleventh hour
While I do appreciate your endeavours
What I would really like
Is for you to appreciate our efforts
On a regular basis
And try as far as possible
To ensure some balance in the workload
So that we don't end up biting more than we can chew
After all, a few people have recently left
You don't want to add to that number, do you?
So, please think twice
Before assigning any new mandates
Especially to someone who hasn't fully recovered from COVID yet

I have been yearning for true love
For years and years
For decades and decades
I have seen it in movies
I have read it in books
But to experience it in real life
Is a different feeling altogether
Of course, when you have lived
For as long as thirty two years
It is utterly impossible
Not to fall in love
At least once, or maybe even twice
And I am not even counting crushes
They are as ephemeral
As the life of a mayfly is
The love bug has bitten me twice
However, on both occasions
The love has been more lop-sided
Than the recent Men's Ashes
On the first occasion
I was slower than a snail
By the time I finally confessed my feelings
The girl was already engaged
On the second occasion
It was an arranged marriage
After two initial meetings
Followed by two months
Full of frequent phone calls
We had a rather simple engagement
Since then, it was apparent
That the going was smooth
Even if it was a long-distance relationship
However, just before the wedding
The pandemic chose to strike
The marriage had to be postponed
By five frigging months
Consequently, things were never the same again
Mind you, I was very much in love
But, as I mentioned earlier
It was a long-distance relationship
And I could sense
That slowly, but surely
The girl was beginning to fade away
And the marriage, when it eventually happened
Was an absolute trainwreck
Now, a year and a half later
I am single again
And the quest for true love continues
This time, I hope and pray
That when I do fall in love again
It will be duly reciprocated
And will be as long-lasting
As the love
That my family has for me

Dear Patti, we miss you
We miss you so much
That there is a gaping hole
Taller than the Burj Khalifa
Left by your absence
Not a soul can replace you
You were one of a kind

Dear Patti, we miss you
You were always there for us
Whether it be the immediate family
Whether it be close relatives
Whether it be friends
So much so
That your presence was taken for granted

Dear Patti, we miss you
From your words of wisdom
To your unconditional support
From your sheer optimism
To your never-say-die spirit
From your delicious meals
To your spooky tales
From your knowledge of various topics
Whether it be cricket
Whether it be politics
Whether it be trains
To your unwavering enthusiasm

Dear Patti, we miss you
I still remember the day
As though it were only yesterday
When my dear friend
Was hopelessly marooned in her hostel
During the peak of the Chennai floods
Along with her family
It was your unconditional love
That saved the day
And my friend and her family
Can never forget you
Not just because of your timely help
But also because, to you
They were also family

Dear Patti, we miss you
You left us so soon
That we had no time to say goodbye
But you should know this
You will always live in our hearts
As a grandmother
As a mother
As a wife
As a sister
As an aunt
As a dear friend
And finally
As a human being
A very beautiful human being

Every day, as the clock strikes ten
You march into the office
Swinging your arms back and forth
In a crude imitation of Herr ******
As the eyes of every employee
Focus on your cold, black ones
As if by magic
A deafening silence fills the office
As Hope turns into Despair
Trust turns into Betrayal
Confidence turns into Insecurities
Love turns into Hate
And Peace turns into Pieces

As your ringing voice fills the air
Resulting in a cacophony
Louder than those infernal firecrackers
Everybody's worst nightmare comes true
As you yell at your team
Mocking all their painstaking efforts
Dehumanizing them with casteist remarks
Your voice cuts into their feelings
Like a knife through butter
Leaving wounds so deep
That the scars shine brightly
For the rest of their lives

You are not an employer
You are a cruel, sadistic tyrant
Hiding behind the facade
Of a concerned maternal figure
However, as with all tyrants
The day will eventually arrive
When you are toppled
From your lofty throne
Your business will sink
Just as the Titanic did
You will be in huge debt
Your ill-gotten gains evaporating into thin air
As your erstwhile employees have their last laugh
It is you, who will be left
With wounds so deep
That the scars shine brightly
For the rest of your miserable life

You may not remember me
As it has been ages
Since we last spoke
However, I probably won't be able to forget you
Right from the moment we met
I was drawn to you like a magnet
You were shy to a fault
And extremely sweet-natured
As I got to know you better
It didn't matter to me
That though you were a Tamilian
You spoke only in English
Because you were a great listener
And when you did speak
You were able to articulate your thoughts
Better than almost everyone in our college
Your mere presence was enough
To ensure that I didn't miss a single class
Except when my health was down
It is often said
That people lose focus
After falling in love
However, on the contrary
Thanks to you, I was able to develop extra focus
And achieve better grades
You inspired me
In a way that no one could have done
We once had a debate
On a rather forgettable movie
It didn't matter that our views were different
What mattered was your energy and intensity
And that fact that you took time out
To debate with a person whom you didn't know very well
You even taught me some tax calculations
Of course, it was a case of unrequited love
But totally worth it
And what was even better
Was the fact that you had known all along
And yet didn't shy away from talking to me
You really are one of a kind
As I mentioned earlier , I will never forget you

What is the greatest gift of all?
You can think of a lot of things
A house, a car, a mobile phone
Money, power, fame
Food, drinks, sweets
And I can go on and on
However, as you all know
All these are indicative
Of a materialistic state of mind
In my opinion, the greatest gift
That a human being can receive
Is none other than empathy
There is nothing quite as impactful
As putting yourself in the shoes of others
To show love, you need to show empathy
Imagine the struggles your loved ones go through
Every single day
In order to be successful
When a friend tells you her problems
Listen, not simply to provide solutions
But to understand her perspective
And it doesn't apply only to family and friends
It can apply to anyone
For instance, if you are a counsellor
You need to put yourself in your patient's shoes
And understand why he reacts the way he does
So that you can advise him suitably
If you are a doctor
You need to think the way your patient does
So that you can reassure her
Therefore, it is very important to be empathetic
Because you will then be doing your bit
To make the world a better place to live
Of course, it will not happen overnight
But slowly and steadily
The impact can be felt
However, not everyone is blessed with empathy
There are so many of us
Who think of only themselves
It may help them in the short term
However, they will not be able to find happiness
In the long run
What's the use of wealth or power
If you are not surrounded by people
Who will stick around
Even when the going gets tough?
Hence, as I've said before
The greatest gift
That a human being can receive
Is empathy
Full stop

We've heard a lot about true love
Seen it in countless movies
Read about it in countless books
But does it really exist?
Well, I'd like to think that it does
You see, I'm speaking from experience
When I first fell in love
I felt like a bird
That had just sprouted wings
And was ready to take off
And experience the sheer joy and excitement
That comes naturally with flying
Especially if it's the first time
I felt like every single day
Was something to look forward to
And I managed to derive some interest
Even out of the most boring lectures
You see, I was doing my MBA then
Anyway, cutting to the chase
It ultimately turned out to be a case of unrequited love
But, as they say
It was totally worth it
My second tryst with love, though
Wasn't quite the same
Arranged marriage, love *** arranged marriage
You can call it whatever you like
But it doesn't change the fact
That it was never going to end well
To put it plainly
We were incompatible
And the eventual divorce
Was a blessing in disguise
I thus learnt the hard way
That it is not enough to be in love
And that is absolutely essential
To have things in common
The more, the better
So, coming back to true love
Does it really exist?
Well, my answer will remain 'Yes'
After all, I'm a hopeless romantic
And I'm not about to give up
Just because of one bad experience
I also believe
That it's a question of when, not if
And I happened to learn
Through a Facebook post
One out of countless posts that I've seen off late
That you shouldn't worry about finding the right woman
Just focus on being the right man

I have met you not
But I know you enough
To see that you can be trusted
With almost anything

Colleagues we are, now
And have we quite the cordial relationship
Almost always are we, on the same page
Though of course, one of us
Can come up with a fresh perspective sometimes

Quite cool, are you
In spite of the fact
That it's been long not
Since you started your career

Always, have I enjoyed
Working with you
And never have we had
Any disagreements whatsoever

There have times been
When I was at the end of my tether
Then have you offered words of comfort
Thus changing my outlook for the better

Colleagues we are, yes
But do I see you as a friend too
Never do you judge
And always have I felt at ease
While interacting with you
May you please be the way you are
And continue spreading love, happiness and peace
God bless you, yaar

You are my sweetest aunt
However, actually it is true, NOT
Because you are more like my cousin
For anything and everything, do you plan
Always, are you in charge
Very gracefully, do you age
You are a superb dentist
To that, can your patients certainly attest
Also, are you a very loving and caring wife and mother
So happy am I, to be your little brother!

You are my sweetest aunt
Always, do you lead from the front
Especially when it comes to family
A lot of sacrifices, do you make regularly
In fact, patience is your middle name
In order, do you always keep your home
Very mature, have you been
Right since your teens
However, still do you manage to look quite young
Which is saying something!!

You are my sweetest aunt
Rarely, do you drop hints
Always, are you direct
However, you mind not, being imperfect
Of me, have you always been very supportive
Never are you negative!!

You are my sweetest aunt
Help and support, have you always lent
To those who have badly needed it
No one, have you ever hurt
Your advice is extremely valuable
On the whole, are you thoroughly lovable!!

You are my sweetest aunt
Never do you taunt
We have had some fantastic times together
You have been boring, never
I totally love your voice
It’s even sweeter than candy floss
Also, are you multilingual
There is nothing, of which are you not capable!!

You are my sweetest aunt
Always, do you put up with my rants
Rarely, have I seen you angry
Most of the time, are you happy
Anyway, wish you the happiest birthday in advance
And may God bless you always!!

For days and days
Weeks and weeks
Months and months
You work the hardest you can
You burn the midnight oil
You sacrifice a lot of things
That you hold dear
Whether it be cricket
Whether it be mobile games
Whether it be online shows
Whether it be exercise, even!
After all your sincere efforts
You are surely bound to think
That success would follow you
However, you are in for a rude shock
Far from being rewarded with success
You are instead punished
With failure after failure
As your efforts go down the drain
One after the other
Until all you are left with
Is a massive pile of zeroes
A reflection of your  rejection
By the candidates
By the clients
And, last but not the least
By your laptop itself!
Recruitment is such a devil

Day after day
Week after week
Month after month
Year after year
You've shown the world
How not to be an employer
Treating your employees like slaves
Demeaning them with insults
That were way below the belt
Denying them their basic pay
For which they have braved storms
Scaled towering mountain peaks
And dived to the bottom of the Pacific Ocean
And firing a few of them
For no justifiable reason whatsoever
Today, however
You have sunk to a new low
It is bad enough to not pay your employees
But to accuse them of not doing their jobs
And lie to their faces'
That you've been paying them properly
Is despicable to the core
And goes on to show
That you are nothing more
Than a rat in the gutter
But then, the rat at least deserves to be put out of its misery
You, on the other hand
Deserve to rot in the confines of Tihar Jail
For a very very long time
Of course, we all know the famous saying
An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind
But it applies only to human beings
You are not one

When will you ever be satisfied?
Work, work and work
That's all you want us to do
Never mind that it's a Saturday
That we have a life of our own
That we have a family
That we've already burned the midnight oil
With no rewards for our hard labour

When will you ever be satisfied?
We all know the famous saying
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
Do you want us all to be Jacks?
Are we humans or machines?
What ever happened to work-life balance?
We work for hours and hours
In front of a computer screen
Is this fair to our eyes?

When will you ever be satisfied?
We handle multiple roles
We handle multiple clients
We run a huge risk
In upsetting a few clients
In order to satisfy your favourite client
But will that particular client
Justify its enormous price tag?

When will you ever be satisfied?
We never get our incentives on time
Yet we rarely complain
We patiently put in all the hard yards
Waiting for months, in vain
At the huge risk of burnout
You will never be able to replace us
Yet your lust for control is such
That you will never be satisfied

Being a recruiter is never easy
Hours and hours of research
To identify the right people
Followed by a truckload of calls
Every time a candidate says no
It is you, who loses
The client piles on the pressure
Your boss keeps on nagging you
Like a fly that constantly buzzes around your table
While you are having lunch
Your confidence collapses
Like a house of cards
When you pick up the phone
Your hands shake
Your face is filled with drops of sweat
Your heart beats faster than ever
You hastily key in ten digits
As you click on 'Dial'
You wait with bated breath
Counting from one to twenty
As your call is received
You mumble and stammer
The other person snaps "Wrong number"
And bangs the phone
You smack yourself on the forehead
How could you make such a silly mistake?
As you dial the right number
You summon every last ounce of your courage
As the candidate answers
In a bored and haughty voice
You introduce yourself in a suave manner
As you take him through the job
Your smooth talk is interrupted
With a rude "Not interested. Thank you"
This opens the floodgates
For more and more rejections
Until you are left, with nothing to do
But to pick up the pieces of your broken heart
Being a recruiter is never easy

As every day begins
My heart beats with anticipation
With every call I make
There is a spring in my step
However, all good things come to an end
As the day wears on
The white clouds fade away
And are replaced
By monstrous, jet black clouds
With every call I make
My shoulders droop
My eyes lose their lustre
My hands begin to shake
My voice begins to falter
As the rain of despair begins
My mind loses its focus
I lose all sense of direction
The pile of work on my desk
Grows taller and taller
Until it outgrows Mount Everest
Just when I begin to think
That things can't get any worse
My boss cranks up the pressure
To such a level
That my heart beats faster and faster
I begin to splutter and choke
My mouth begins to foam
My face starts turning blue
With a rapidly shaking hand
I stagger towards my water bottle
Tripping and almost falling on the way
Eventually, with a supreme effort
I manage to prise the bottle cap loose
As I take a gulp of water
I spill a few drops on the floor
Very slowly and steadily
My breathing begins to return to normal
But not before my heart is filled
With a deep desire
To hear the three magic words
"You are fired"

Recruitment without Naukri
Is like a cobra
Stripped of its venom
A tree without leaves
A musician without an instrument
A Mutton Biryani without the mutton
A laptop without a battery
I can go on and on
But you get the gist, right?

Recruitment without Naukri
How does it even work?
Of course, there are other portals
LinkedIn, Monster, Indeed
TimesJobs, Shine, Updazz
Dice, Hirist, Instahyre
But do they even come close
To matching the pin-point accuracy
The sheer amount of detailing
The refreshing practicality
And finally, the user-friendliness
That Naukri brings to the table?
The answer to that, unfortunately
Is a resounding no

Recruitment without Naukri?
Can it be managed?
As mentioned earlier
There are other portals
But will your boss be ready to pay
For any of them, apart from LinkedIn?
The answer to that, unfortunately
Is again a resounding no

Recruitment without Naukri
Coupled with a miserly boss
Is like chasing 350 in 50 overs
On a seaming wicket at Leeds
All your hard work at the nets
Goes to the drain
As you keep trying to hit boundaries
And end up getting clean bowled instead
Ultimately, the loser is not the client
Not the boss either
It is you, and only you

Dear Urvashi, wish you a belated happy birthday!!
I've known you for less than a year
However, that doesn't take away the fact
That we've always shared a cordial relationship
Not just as colleagues
But also as good friends
Right from the day we met
I knew that we would get along
Like peas in a pod
As you told me recently
Our conversations have always been meaningful
Whether it be work or personal stuff
I've never felt dull or bored
While interacting with you
You understand me very well
I can be weird sometimes
But that has never bothered you
Because the only thing that truly matters to you
As far as a relationship is concerned
Is character
In fact, that's the way it should be
Also, I've always enjoyed working with you
You are very talented
And your communication skills are top-notch
Not to mention, you are super helpful
I am sure you will make us all proud
As far as your career is concerned
Of course, luck hasn't always been on your side
But you just need to believe in yourself
Stand in front of the mirror
Tell yourself "I can do it"
And you will do it
You also have a fun side
This was on display
When we had the team lunch at Canto
And the team dinner at TOIT
Oh boy, when you talk
You go on and on
As though nothing can stop you
And I feel so comfortable with you
That it almost seems
As though I'm talking to a family member
Finally, you are very sweet and caring
Something that I've particularly noticed
When it comes to your family
By the way, please give my regards to them
And hope you had a great time yesterday
Take care and may the Lord bless you
With loads of love, success, happiness and peace

You claimed to be my best friend
I thought, beautiful was our bond
But acting were you, all the time
About me, you did not give a ****!

You claimed to be my best friend
Instead, did you play a hand
In wrecking my self-esteem
To you, was our friendship a mere game!!

You claimed to be my best friend
However, you are much worse than a fiend
For you, a relationship has to be based on money
But you do not even possess honesty!!

You claimed to be my best friend
Instead, were you my worst friend
How cleverly did you play your cards
At the cost of my happiness and inner peace
Pretending to be poor
And showing me the door
When I asked you to pay me back
In you, is there so much to dislike!!

You claimed to be my best friend
Taking advantage of my being kind
You even used my family
And I was used by your family!!

You claimed to be my best friend
It is good that our relationship has come to an end
Otherwise, my life would have been totally ruined
As it is, so much have I already suffered
Because I made the mistake of trusting you
Now, I feel I will become sick at the mere mention of you
Anyway, I am a much, much better person
And have learned a thoroughly harsh but valuable lesson
Karma will hit you hard
Truly, are you a person to completely avoid
And when life finally begins to get really difficult for you
I will be there to laugh at you
So, goodbye and get lost
In Hell, may you forever rot!!

The most beautiful relationship of all
Is not romance
It is friendship
Because there are no rules
No layers or complexities
Just shared understanding
Which is unconditional in nature
When I think about friendship
I think particularly about you
Whom I've known for ten years
Mind you, I've known quite a few friends
For a longer period of time
However, none of them are as special
As you are, to me
Very humble and unassuming
And yet having an enthusiasm
That is hard to match
When it comes to your favourite topics
Such as gaming, movies, animes and Hindu mythology
You have an easygoing and amicable nature
That would appeal to most people
Which is why I'm surprised
That you don't have a lot of friends
But then, it is better to have a few friends
Who mean the world to you
And would do anything for you
Rather than a large group of friends
Who are only there to share your joys
And are unable to support you
When you need it the most
I follow this principle to the tee
In fact, we both are in the same boat
You have always stood by me
In my hour of need
In fact, you are more of a family member
Than a friend
And I am really glad
That your family sees me the same way as well
In fact, your mother was a very close friend
Of my late maternal grandmother
And it is no coincidence
That Patti came in your dream
Just before she left for her heavenly abode
Our friendship is indeed a beautiful relationship
One that will last
As long as we ourselves do
Just be the way you are
And have a little bit more faith in yourself
Most importantly, thank you for coming into my life
And staying with me
Through good and bad times
Because that's what friendship is all about

India is our country
And we are told
It's a great country
However, I beg to differ
Rather, we are sold
The idea of an utopian nation
A country with a myriad variety of cultures
Races, religions and languages
United by a common feeling of brotherhood
However, look beneath the hood
And the idea implodes spectacularly
Crumbling in a heap
Instead, emergeth a divide so deep
That it can be bested not
Even by the mighty Pacific Ocean
Truth be told, we are but a Hindu nation
In all but name
Instead, we put the blame
For all our evils
On the British, one day
And the Mughals, the very next day
While more and more blood spills
In the name of religion and caste
How long will this last?

India is our country
And as per the Constitution
All Indians are our brothers and sisters
However, if you use your imagination
Understand, you will
That this is just a facade
Designed to protect our international image
As you turn page after page
Of our so-called glorious history
Emergeth the true picture
A land comprising thousands of castes
Fighting each other since the beginning of time
Something that would put to shame
Even the fickle-minded Romans
During the reign of Julius Caesar
We Indians are indeed pathetic humans
Falling like nine pins
At the slightest hint of pressure
While boasting about past wins
That no longer matter

India is our country
And a time there was
When, a proud Indian I was
However, passed have light years, since then
Oppressed, have been our women
More so, those who are underprivileged
Brahmins, were the rapists of Bilkis Bano
And hence, did they go unpunished
Meanwhile, ***** by the Indian Army
Are the women of Kashmir and the North Eastern states
For which, not a single mainstream feminist bothers to show even the slightest sign of empathy
Something that truly makes my blood boil
Even as hundreds of wrongdoers get bail
Because, our justice system is an epic fail
On the other hand, you have innocent people
Languishing in jail for ages
Because nobody bothers to turn the pages
Of the Constitution of India

Yes, India is our country indeed
But patriots we are, no longer
Because, ultimately, humanity is stronger
A field where India can never take the lead
Yes, Indians we are
However, humans we are first

As I look out of the window
My head laid back against the cushion
Of my side lower berth
My eyes open wider and wider
As they gaze upon the surroundings
The trees, the bushes, the greenery
The mountains, the tunnels, the bridges
The surrounding railway lines, the crossing trains
It is a vivid, and most enchanting dream
However, all good things come to an end
All of a sudden, I am ****** back to reality
As I feel a tingling sensation
I swing around in alarm
And see a creepy little cockroach
Scuttle across the seat
Evidently having made its home here
As I angrily brush the insect aside
I keep my fingers crossed
Hoping against hope
That this is the exception to the rule
After all, hope springs eternal
However, as always, Murphy's law strikes
The little devil is soon followed
By its brother, sister, father and mother
As a family of these incorrigibly evil pests
Unleash a reign of terror
Such that, even the most diehard railfans
Vow never to seet foot in an Indian train again
Especially in a non-AC coach
Frankly, this is the last straw
That broke the hapless camel's back
Dear Railway Minister
You may introduce bullet trains
You may electrify the entire network
You may connect India with China
But, unless and until the day arrives
When we can travel in a clean train
Without the numbing and overpowering fear
Of these evil pests and rodents
Your words mean as much to us
As grass to a lion or tiger

May woe betide you
May the worst of calamities
Strike your kith and kin
May you lose everything
That is dear to you
Every penny of yours
Shall be consigned to the flames
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust
Serving as divine retribution
For the bundles of cash
That changed hands everyday
Faster than the speed of light
Throughout your deceitful existence
Filled with lies and blackmail
Before eventually finding a safe haven
In your classy, upper middle class dwelling

May woe betide you
May every happy thought of yours
Be ****** out of your conniving minds
May your life be reduced
To one full of manic depression
One incapable of coherent thinking
Thus dwelling only on your failures
Till you eventually succumb
And self-destruct
With a flash of blinding light
Such that, all that is left
Is an unrecognizable form
A wretched caricature of regret
With your souls torn asunder
Leaving the world a little happier

Does expectation ever stop?
When you are at school
You are expected to get good marks
In all the subjects
Your life is decided
By your ability to memorise things
You are compared with others
Your cousins, your neighbours
Your friends, your classmates
All the time
You, as an individual
Are reduced to a mere shadow

Does expectation ever stop?
When you are at college
You are expected to achieve a high CGPA
Never mind the fact
That not getting arrears
Is practically an achievement
Especially as far as engineering is concerned
And if you happen to fail
People speak in whispers or hushed voices
When referring to you
And when you graduate
But fail to land a placement
You are seen as "that jobless guy"
And your character traits, whether good or bad
Turn out to be immaterial
In the mad race for status

Does expectation ever stop?
When you are a working professional
You are constantly asked about your salary
And it is compared
With that of every frigging relation of yours
Whether close or distant
Not to mention, neighbours
And their families as well

Does expectation ever stop?
When you are single
People constantly bring up marriage
As though it is something
That any decent human being must go through
And when you are married
Your wife also becomes a victim
Of all these crazy expectations
And you, as a couple
Are also compared to other couples

Does expectation ever stop?
When you get divorced
People keep poking and prying
Until they finally manage to extract from you
All the juicy details
But these vultures don't stop at that
They also want to know
When will your next marriage be
Your freedom means absolutely nothing to them

Does expectation ever stop?
When you are overweight
You are constantly advised
To go to the gym
Go for morning or evening walks
And again you are compared
With everyone who is slimmer than you
In the entire neighbourhood

Does expectation ever stop?
Being a good person is not enough
Having a good job is not enough
Earning a decent salary is not enough
Having a good family is not enough
In fact, nothing is ever enough
You practically need to become God
In order to satisfy the expectations
Of our ultra-greedy society
A society that never stops expecting
Until you are dead
Seriously, does expectation ever stop?

There are times
When I wish I could be a child again
Because, as far as adulthood is concerned
There is a lot of pressure and expectations
And many complications as well
Work, relationships, time, money, health
The list is endless
Also, let us not forget
That I am a divorcee
And yearning for a second marriage
Or at least, some kind of romantic relationship
And at the same time
I have to deal with work as well
Anyway, I wish I could be a child again
Because my childhood was awesome
Lots of love
From my family, cousins and relatives
Playing cricket with one of my close cousins
Going on train trips with family
Having fun with schoolmates
Including enacting the part of a Japanese anime princess!!
Playing chess with my maternal grandfather
Watching the golden era of Sachin Tendulkar
Listening to AR Rahman classics
Watching the best movies of Superstar Rajinikanth
Playing tennis with my father
During my second visit to Mumbai
And best of all
Having a life free of tension and worries
Except of course, as far as studies were concerned!!
Well, there were bad times too
For instance, the bullying I faced
Which forced me to leave a renown school
In the span of just one week!!
Nevertheless, on the whole
My childhood is something to be cherished forever
And reflecting back on it as an adult
I am filled with a sense of nostalgia
Being a Potterhead, I wish I could use a Time Turner
And go back in time
In order to revisit all those fond memories in person
Yes, I am not ashamed to say
That I wish I could be a child again

For four years have I known you
From railfans to close friends
Quite the journey has it been
In the train of relationships

Thou art innocent and sweet
But when it comest to talking
Oh boy, do you set the bar high
With an expertise in four languages
At the age of just twenty-four!!

Every outing we've had
Has been nothing short of memorable
From the hurricane run
On board the famous Pune Shatabdi
To the thrilling boat ride
Through the equally famous Bhigwan Bird Sanctuary
Add a few movies in between
Not to mention, drinks *** dinner
And you have the icing on the cake

Whenever I've come to Pune
I've always felt at home
Your family being the engine
To my train of love, happiness and peace
From your mother's cooking
To your father's hospitality
Not to mention, your lavish home
With a plethora of facilities

You ain't just no friend
But a younger brother as well
Quite the honour has it been
To have you at our home
Something we should do more often
After all, we are thick as thieves

For four years have I known you
And with every year
Our bond has grown stronger
Than even the Rock of Gibraltar
Which ain't no surprise
Since we have a lot in common
Trains, cricket, movies
Food, drinks, cats
The list is endless

For four years have I known you
And our friendship is something to be cherished
As much as India winning a Cricket World Cup
Or a journey in a diesel-hauled train
Or even, Hyderabad's finest Mutton Biryani!!
I endeth on this note
Age is just a number
Even when it comest to relationships

We met about seven years ago
And I had the great pleasure
Of working with you
You were warm and friendly
As well as extremely helpful and supportive
Whenever I got stuck on a mandate
I knew I could turn to you for guidance
However, the best part was
You were uber cool
Nothing could ever shake you
And even if I struggled sometimes
You never pushed me to deliver
Something that I appreciated immensely
Of course, you were my Team Lead
But you are also a good friend of mine
Though it's been a very long time
Since we last met
We have been keeping in touch
Every now and then
You not only put up with my rants
But also advise me from time to time
Whether it be work or personal issues
I am also very happy
That you are now a mother
I'm sure you will do wonders
As a mother and a wife
And also as a HR professional
Please continue to be the amazing human being that you are
And I hope to catch up with you soon
Take care and wish you loads of happiness, love, good health and success

You are my sister
Very privileged am I, to be your brother
Yes, technically are you my cousin
However, that's like saying nothing
Because, to me, are you very dear
And thanks to you, need I not fear!

You are my sister
Beautiful, is your character
Not that you lack external beauty, though
Ignoring you is as tough
As clearing CA in the first attempt
At understanding people, are you very adept!!

You are my sister
Like you, can there be no other
As sweet as milk chocolate
And impossible to hate
You are also very brutally honest
And never do you boast!!

You are my sister
Often can I be a great bother
However, you are exceedingly patient
And never are you absent
When I am in need
Sometimes, your advice have I failed to heed
But you have taught me valuable lessons
And helped make me a better person!!

You are my sister
Last year, many times have I been rather bitter
However, for me have you always been there
Even if I have been a massive bore
For my behaviour, will I make amends
May we strengthen our bond!!

You are my sister
With you, would I love to banter
Not to mention, are you a fabulous mother
And soft and silky as a feather!!
May God bless you, my dear
For you, do I deeply care
I repeat, you are my sister
And very proud am I, to be your brother!!

Let's say I am in love with Ms. B
Being a hypothetical situation, there is no need to use proper names
So, here it goes
Dear B,
You mean the world to me
For you, I am willing to do anything
That is, of course, anything ethical
You can rant all day as you like
I will listen, understand and empathise
I can be a shoulder for you to cry on
Your happiness, is all that matters to me
You lose your temper? that's fine
After all, it happens to me too
More frequently that you would imagine
You need some space?
Of course, I will give you space
I understand what it means
To be surrounded by people all the time
And thus end up losing the opportunity
To have some "me time"
After all, not only am I an introvert
I am also autistic
And too much talking often drains the hell outta me
Except when it comes to topics I am comfortable with
Such as trains, Harris Jayaraj music, food, Harry Potter
Agatha Christie ****** mysteries, cricket, tennis
And of course, anything to do with Aishwarya Lekshmi
Anyway, I will do my very best
To make our relationship work
I will always be there for you
Through good and bad times
Of course, that doesn't mean
That I will be overprotective
You must have your independence
I'm pretty sure you can take care of yourself
However, when it comes to a situation
Where you end up biting more than you can chew
You just have to say the word
And I will be at your side
You have a few male friends
With whom you are intimate?
That's completely okay with me
Of course, my best friend is a woman
You should be okay with that
Remember, it works both ways
Then, there is the sheer pain you have to go through
When it comes to having a baby
In order to avoid that, I am open for adoption
Or even test tube babies
Of course, only if you are okay with either option
Remember, I will always love you
Whether you are at your best
Or at your worst
However, I expect the same from you as well
As I mentioned earlier, I am autistic
Which means I am socially awkward
And also socially awkward
Though I come from a vegetarian family
I eat a lot of meat
Chicken, mutton, prawn, pork, beef
You name it, you have it
Of course, unfortunately not within the boundaries of my home
Also, my political views are often radical
For instance, I do not consider Kashmir as a part of India
And I am all for a radical redistribution of power
On the basis of class and caste
Such that the poor and the underprivileged get back what is theirs
In fact, what has been theirs for three thousand years
Also, though I was born a Hindu
I actually pray to Jesus
That is, I have been doing it for the last nine months
But I don't go to church
Nor do I follow any traditions or rituals
Jesus is simply a friend to me
I believe everything will work out eventually
If I place my faith in him
Finally, I am not interested in ***
Except as a means of reproduction
I need emotional and psychological intimacy
I will share everything with you
And I expect the same from you as well
If you are okay with all this
Then we can be a team
Until Death do us part
If you are not okay
Then maybe we can just be friends
If you are not comfortable with that as well
Then we are free
To go our own separate ways
On this note, let me end my musings
And return to reality

Enough is enough
We have watched
We have heard
Every year, every month
Every week, every day
Every hour, every minute
Thousands and thousands
Of untold horrors
In every state
In every city
In every village
In every nook and corner
Of this monstrous country
A supposedly secular country
A supposedly democratic country

Enough is enough
How much more can we stand?
For how much longer
Do we have to put up
With this Brahminical terror
Unleashed by the state and legislative
By the judiciary and police
By the corporate and media
Don't you dare hide
Under the garb of patriotism
Under the garb of secularism
Admit it, this is what you wanted
Right from day one
A Savarna-Brahmin India
Free from Dalit-Bahujan resistance
Free from liberty, equality and fraternity
An India ****** would have been proud of

There was a time
When I used to be proud
Of being an Indian
However, that feels like light years ago
Since then, so many things have changed
That I wonder sometimes
If this is indeed the same country
Where I was conceived
Imagine surviving a plane crash
Only to have your face charred in such a way
That it resembles a piece of barbequed meat
And thus even your own mother fails to recognise you
That is the India of today
A democracy only in name
Where the gap between the rich and the poor
Is even wider than the river Nile
The way in which the so-called upper castes
Treat the so-called lower castes
Is even worse
Than the way in which the Nazis used to treat the Jews
Nearly a century ago
Not to mention, to insult a cow
Is considered nothing short of ******
However, harassing a woman
Especially a woman from one of the underprivileged sections of society
Is treated, in the manner in which a simple traffic violation is dealt with
That is, all you have to do; is pay a fine
And you are free to go about doing whatever you were doing
Including harassing more women
Then we come to the small matter of mental health
If you are undergoing therapy or counselling
Or if you are meeting a psychiatrist
As you pass people on the way
You might hear a lot of whispers and murmurs
Making it sound as though you were dying
Or worse, on the verge of insanity
Therefore, whenever you air your views publicly
The chances of people taking you seriously
Are even less than that of Netherlands winning this year's Men's Cricket World Cup!!
It may have been seventy-six years
Since we gained independence
However, the reality is
We are as much independent
As Salman Khan knows how to drive a car
Without killing people in the process
As I mentioned earlier, I used to be a patriot
However, when I think of India now
I feel a remarkably similar kind of shame
That I used to experience during my Engineering days
Whenever I failed in a subject
After all, when your country's international image
Takes precedence over the living conditions of your people
Then it is only a matter of time
Before you are headed down the path of the Nazis
Yes, I am an Indian
And difficult as it sounds to believe, I used to love my country
However, my love for its people
Exceeds that by thousands of miles

I loved you and you broke my heart
Always, did I think you had a soft heart
However, you proved me wrong
For me, did you feel nothing
To you, was I merely a tool
And you turned me into a lovestruck fool!

I loved you and you broke my heart
So badly was I hurt
That I went into depression for two full months
You made me lose faith
And created self-doubts in my mind
To you, was I too kind
Hence, did I suffer a lot
Trustworthy, you certainly were not!!

I loved you and you broke my heart
My self-esteem fell apart
My mind took over my heart
And insecurities began to tear me apart
However, I was not as weak as you would have thought
Neither was I a crackpot
Loving family and friends, did I have
As well as a strong will to live
I decided to focus completely on work
After all, I did not have time to worry about jerks
Today, have I become far more successful
Than you can ever be, you miserable little devil!!

I loved you and you broke my heart
But I began to rebuild, part by part
Thus, have I grown stronger
And become happier
Thanks to the will of Jesus Christ
Definitely, have I done my best
To recover from the trauma you inflicted on me
However, does the fact remain, that you tried to break me
Someone who genuinely cared for you
Yes, really did I love you
And you broke my heart
Truly, are you nothing but a cheat
However, I CAN forgive you once and for all
But it will take some time
One, because you truly are a ball of slime
Two, because I also need to heal
For now, try to be a good human being for once
Even if the very thought of it makes you wince!!

You are used to being overloaded with work
That's what happens when you work in a startup
Especially a startup dealing in Recruitment
That too, not run-of-the-mill Recruitment
You specialise in niche roles
Thus, you need to invest a lot of time and effort
In order to pull off closures
Yes, a recruiter's life is never going to be easy
But Recruitment pales in comparison to Research
When you are working on a major research project
You are essentially taking part in an almost never-ending race
Against that elusive devil, Time
A race you can ill afford to lose
And the race track is far from straight
In fact, it is full of twists and turns
Some of them are even more dangerous
Than those hairpin bends you often encounter
While driving up the mountains
There are also numerous obstacles along the way
And to cap it all
There are no prizes for winning the race
On the other hand, if you lose
There will be a stiff penalty
In the form of losing the client, for ever
And what's worse
Is the fact that your credibility will take a massive beating
From which it will be quite difficult to recover
Life will never be the same again
So, you have to win, no matter what
Of course, you are used to working hard
Whether it be Recruitment or Research
So, you put your best foot forward
And work out of your skins
Putting off sleep as much as possible
Even when your body is protesting vociferously
Against this blatant abuse
To add insult to the injury
Your laptop shows you the *******
And your phone literally dies
Sending you into a brainfade
That would have put even Australian cricketer Steve Smith to shame
Luckily, your father's presence of mind saves the day
But your troubles are not over yet
The harder you work
The more confusing the project gets
It's like being trapped in a maze
Except that it's a thousand times worse
Because the maze is controlled from outside
As if it were a puppet
With your boss pulling the strings
Thus, the harder you try to find a way out
The more you get trapped inside
With every passing hour
Hope slowly drains out of you
Until you are forced to admit
That all you can do, is pray
And keep praying for all eternity
Hoping against hope
That Harry Potter and his friends will save the day

My tongue is on fire
And stuck am I, in a mire
Dangling like a carrot
And waiting to be devoured
Is some rather delicious food
Unfortunately, I am not in the mood
Because, every time I take a bite
My ******* tongue puts up a humungous fight
Locking me up in a torture chamber
And thus filling me with loads of anger
How dare you do this to me, O darned tongue?
Do you think I am a piece of dung?

My tongue is on fire
And it does not care
How hungry I am
Serious, it gives not a ****
Set before me, is a mouthwatering meal
However, becoming am I, rather dull
As I struggle and struggle
My tongue pulling me into deep trouble
Slowly, do I begin to think
That, desperately do I need a drink
Thus, do I consume an entire bottle of water
However, just as I begin to feel better
That infernal tongue throws tantrum after tantrum
Thus spelling my doom
Predictably, coming to my rescue is a sweet
Dear Diabetes, soon we may meet!

My tongue is on fire
However, beginning am I, to fight
Because, I give up not, so easily
And I DO take the doctor's advice seriously
However, my tongue ends up having the last laugh
Since all those medicines are apparently not enough
To prevent me from being forced
To make a few sacrifices
When it cometh to food
Which again spoils my mood
Moreover, just when the situation seems to be getting back to normal
Dinner turns out to be quite the ordeal
Not for the first time
And definitely not the last
I even wonder if I should fast!!

My tongue is on fire
However, as mentioned before
Never do I give up easily
Dear tongue, for now you may smile nastily
However, soon will the tables be turned
And then YOU are gonna be doomed
Enjoy your time while it lasts
And NO, I will NOT fast
No matter how many tricks you may have up your sleeve
Victory you are not gonna achieve
Never again!!

A very very dear cousin, you are
Always, have you shown me unconditional love and care
So lucky am I, to have you in my life
Been my bedrock have you, in times of strife!

A very very dear cousin, you are
All my rants, are you ready to hear
Really, are you patient to the core
Especially given that, off late I have been a bit of a bother
What all have you done for me, I am just unable to count
Truly do I love you as a sister, from the bottom of my heart!!

A very very dear cousin, you are
Interacting with you is such a pleasure
That I often wish the conversation never ends
Yes, greatly do I treasure our long calls and voice note exchanges
In recent weeks though, often have I tested your patience
However, I respect you loads
And I assure you that I will learn from my mistakes
And more importantly, act on my words!!

A very very dear cousin, you are
My heart beats for you, now and forever
Deeply, do I value your advice
In fact, have you helped me become a better person
Having you on my side is indeed a massive boon!!

A very very dear cousin, you are
So much, do I love your mother
So gentle, humble and understated, is your father
And Pradeep is so, so cool
Well, I love you all
Please do keep that smile on your kind face
And hope we soon meet, face to face!!