"novacane" poems
LOSING YOU HAS BEEN THE MOST NUMBING EXPERIENCE OF MY LIFE IT'S BEEN PAINFUL BUT IT'S THE MOST COMFORTABLE PAIN I'VE EVER BEEN BROUGHT UPON IN THE PROCESS OF LOSING YOU I'VE LEARNED THAT THERE ARE DIFFERENT TYPES OF NUMBNESS THERE'S THE NUMBNESS YOU FEEL WHEN THE DOCTOR PRESCRIBES YOU MEDICATION AND YOUR BODY DOESN'T REACT THE RIGHT WAY AND THEN THERE'S THE NUMBNESS YOU EXPERIENCE WHEN YOU'RE COMING OFF OF NOVACANE BUT THE TYPE OF NUMBNESS YOU'VE CAUSED ME TO FEEL IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL NUMBNESS I THINK A PERSON CAN FEEL BECAUSE I FEEL FREE AND NOW THAT YOU'RE GONE I REALIZED IT DOESN'T FEEL ANY DIFFERENT FROM WHEN YOU WERE SUPPOSEDLY IN MY LIFE SO CAN A PERSON REALLY LOSE SOMEONE THEY FEEL THEY NEVER REALLY HAD IN THEIR LIFE TO BEGIN WITH?
Jun 30, 2014
Jun 30, 2014 at 10:27 PM UTC
Cold mornings but yet i dont feel it...
Cold blooded soul
Got a heart with a hole....
No sealent...
30 and below
i wont start to show...
Black ice on the ground tell me you can see it...
Tropic antiseptic...
rubbed across my skin...
novacane injected...
followed by a pin...
No pain, just frost bitten..
with no mittens...
ground across my belly..
Eat the fruit I know your hungry...
Dec 28, 2011
Dec 28, 2011 at 12:03 PM UTC
If you see her again before I do, tell her the way she left left me shaking like a winter windchime;
the song too frozen to melt on her tongue.
I am scared of all her moving on.
The only serious love poems I write are about the same person who hides God in her hair and shows me the lingerie she bought while I try to unfog my glasses to look at her straight.
I am too convinced that she is made up of lines that lead straight to my firework skin. There has been too many explosions here.
The only way to deal with missing you is to tell you and wait and see if you feel the same. Or novacane.
I imagine you taste like an acid trip... all conspiracy theories and sugary words too sober to ever speak.
If you see her again before I do, tell her that I am a mess without her. That my mind only settles with her tear-stained cheeks and the only way I can see the ocean in the winter in Canada is to look into her eyes.
I am scared that I am being overdramatic.
I want to rub our wrists together so we can trade scars.
Tell me the story of how you met your best friend and I'll tell you the story of how I fell out of loving my mother.
I would rather listen to you ramble than check the time.
If you see her again before I do, tell her that on the way home from her arms I counted 1200 streetlamps, 13 lovers, 3 liquor stores and 72 shakes of my knees.
Tell her I miss her like Frances misses Kurt. Like dive bars miss blues music.
When I see you again, lover, I'll tell you that when you told me your name two years ago, I was surprised that it wasn't Love.
Feb 4, 2014
Feb 4, 2014 at 10:31 PM UTC
KUMOMI
Laying here under this sapphire sheet of dreams,
No limits
No rules
Nobody else
I dive into this non-aquatic azure sea of thoughts,
No oxygen
No wetsuit
Nothing but faith
Psyche an oracle arena-in an undeniable Golden state,
No fear
No higher
Novacane
Soul searching for a sole purpose within,
No answers
No clarity
Nostalgic
Awoken with a cleansed perspective,
No questions
No notions
Nourished.
Jun 26, 2015
Jun 26, 2015 at 4:29 AM UTC
if the walls of my bedroom could talk
they’d say how i cry
to the moon
holding my breath
giving myself chest pain
convincing my brain
that it’s from the novacane
i force myself to take
because now & days
i numb myself
to be washed in your acid rain
because it still lives inside me
storming away
anytime i choose
to speak your name
Jul 26, 2023
Jul 26, 2023 at 2:01 AM UTC
Depressed, suicidal, numb,
repeat and smile
because you believed in polyamory.
About a week ago,
she said she loved me.
About a week ago,
she had him coming.
My girl with the black lace choker.
Bang Bang--
No holster.
Apr 3, 2015
Apr 3, 2015 at 6:17 AM UTC
I'm a pack rat--
the reason I keep you in my hand
gathering lint and sand.
Some familiar decay,
hoping I can let go one day.
Apr 3, 2015
Apr 3, 2015 at 6:10 AM UTC
You remember them nights?
Use too kiss ya lips..
use to touch your spots
"Baby just like this"
**** look them hips..
sensation becoming to real
Seducing ya mind, I think things bout to get real
Do you feel how I feel?
Is this just an act?
Will you make me numb, leave... than never comeback?
My head spinning in circles..
How does she do this?
I should've seen it coming...this woman's bluff I missed
Imma charge her mound
Give her all the pitches
Knock her lights out
Flip off all the switches
Protection a must
When you encounter a woman in lust
Lower Repetition
"Baby oh fuh..."
Shh baby please calm down
You gunna wake the neighbors
If the feeling to good
Let my neck be ya new favorite flavor
She starts to bite as I start to grab
We moving slow to the track
"Baby just like that"
Loving like she the one
What have I become...
Her body produces novacane
Girl, I'm about to go numb
She pulls me in close, continues to ride the beat
I told her "baby not yet"
She replies "you gon remember me"
Toes curling on my feet
Suddenly the moment comes...to an end
She slowly kisses my lips and whispers
"You'll never have this again"
Dec 11, 2013
Dec 11, 2013 at 12:45 AM UTC
you're a haze of ninety-nine cents dreams,
naivety bottled in your distressed jeans
and your lolita-inspired bambi teardrop eyes;
and i'm the devil behind why you've cried
your mouth chokes with fury and rage
'so why are you still here?' i ask again
but secretly, i know you and your obsession
-the glory tales of getting heartbroken
you know i'm pure poison flowing in your veins,
a disaster functioning on self-hatred and novacane,
but you're wild violet and champagne in a sweet kiss,
desperate to be inundated into my abyss.
Feb 19, 2018
Feb 19, 2018 at 4:49 AM UTC
When I wake up with you
I can't seem to down my food
'cause I know I'm living a lie.
I may be stupid,
only 'cause you make me feel alive.
Apr 3, 2015
Apr 3, 2015 at 6:18 AM UTC
I love the way, I love the way you work it...baby drop it slow, the vibe is so perfect,
Her body proves to be worth it...skin butter cream...she enhances every fantasy, a real life *** dream…she's arches her back, then pushes back, slow it down girl, just like that...damn Im gettin weak...toes curling on my feet, she moves to the rhythm, thrusting to the bass of the beat.
Kisses to my chest, all the way up onto my neck...her nails diggin in, I'm holdin the back of her neck...(tap,tap,tap) she screaming "oh god!" Her pleasures she might confess..like "your love is the best" "babe! Hold on...I can't catch my breath"
Swimming all in her ocean,
The scenery turns wet,
I just realized I can't remember her name...guess for now ill call her regret, or maybe first date *** Or maybe one night stand?
9months later ill call her karma, when I hold a child in my hand...
Stories of ****** encounters
Keep the mind, blind and not let it think it through...I was infatuated with her she was lusting for me too, things can get so crazy out body temps rising got me confused...was this all a mistake? Or something I was supposed to do?
I snap outta my daydream, I got caught into a stare...
She's still on top of me, should I tell her that I'm almost there?
My body feel like novacane, her pink matter offered a exchange...for my solider to cross the land...in which this new land he will claim...my nightmare is formulating from this sensation she's creating
I only wanted just one night...she treated it like we were mating..
Decisions are weighing, all on my brain
I know 15 minutes of pleasure, just made a lifetime change
We finished, she put her arms around me and then slowly whispered, "my name is the one to blame" she closed my eyes and made me kiss her.
-Dougie simps
Aug 20, 2013
Aug 20, 2013 at 2:44 PM UTC
When we were out,
you'd graze your nails on my back,
rubbing my thigh--
Sometimes a little too high.
I miss this too much,
which is why I'm too high.
Apr 3, 2015
Apr 3, 2015 at 6:04 AM UTC
I no longer cared about sweaty palms,
After I felt her hands
I would catch every disease just to hold on
It no longer mattered. Only she mattered.
Everything but my hand, a void
My body, space;
My hand, the earth;
Her fingers, the sun.
That hand taught me how to live.
Nothing past had mattered
The thing that mattered was this hands owner
Not even the voice that wanted to let go and run.
Following up her goose bumped arm
To a dress that made summer jealous,
Skin that beat fresh snow
And hair like autumn trees.
If mother earth was real
Her real plan was this girl
The sky was made to reflect of her eyes
Then bounce into my soul.
The only time the horde in my brain halted
And the fleet in my stomach retreated
To think the best medicine could be a human
She threw all the pills out the window
Pain killers came through kisses,
The psychotic moods gone with hugs,
Vocal novacane caught tears
And the only sickness was love
Now without her.
Its withdrawal of happiness
Human touch now words on a page
Love hidden under the bed.
May 20, 2015
May 20, 2015 at 2:58 PM UTC
It was really a
Lazer Tag survival love story.
Two kids in a 4 year summer--
She just shot me in the end.
Bang Bang
Never understood if it was intentional,
if her gun went out of her control,
if she was sorry afterwards.
I doubt she understood either.
Apr 3, 2015
Apr 3, 2015 at 6:01 AM UTC
First my fingers go numb and I can't feel my lips
So I drink your presence like I drink cheap tequila
Rough at first
But after a couple sips, smooth as water
You touch me but my body is without sensation
Something different is pumping through my veins
And Novacane blocks any feeling
From the pain that comes as you cut me open
My blood drains but I don't sense it
Ignorance is bliss, they used to tell me
That is until you're facedown in a pillow
With the life escaping one strained breath at a time
My teeth clench and my knees lock
I can't help it but tomorrow I'll feel it
If tomorrow comes
Songs about feeling high in love
I don't want that
What happens when you're too high
To notice the person in front of you
Is the one pushing your face down
The Devil Incarnate?
Naiveté suits you, Honey
And so does misery
Dec 2, 2016
Dec 2, 2016 at 2:36 PM UTC
(Drink pouring)
My....my eyes close...
I feel...I feel something close, something I adore most,
Buttermilk soft skin
Lips that taste like sin
Slow kisses...no idea where they've been.
Hold up, (piano)
Let my notes serenade your brain
Create the melody for your sensation
Watch my slow riffs penetrate your veins
Said "your music's my drug"
As I play this sweet novacane
Extra dosages of my verses for the pain
A hook that leaves the body drained
Stop!
Repetition creates a dullness of ones perception
Changed the notes to help this ****** aggression
Synced it up so well
Baby, we so in tune
Nothing is better than making a love song
Nothing is better than making the perfect song with you.
May 6, 2014
May 6, 2014 at 11:55 PM UTC
It's 2 am still not home
I know she hates sleepin alone
callin my phone
I don't reply
Brainstorming up, another lie
So much to hide
Never found
My minds blank, heart pounds
I hear the sounds
Of war
Love battlefield with who I love as I adore
Knees hit the floor
Drugs just hit
Do I get up?
Or do I quit?
These four walls moving in quick
Stomachs sick
Why can't I Handle this!?
An addicts mind
Creates u to be blind
Pills workin fast
Running out of time
(footsteps down the stairs)
Here she comes
To only see
The man she loved
Or....what use to be
Swore I thought she was a sleep
Dying slow
My heart deceits
Faking the truth
To console me
She touches me
Hugs me
Whispers that
She loves me
I tell her wait
Hesitate
Feel the rush of novacane
Bodies numb, Pulse cold
Lost our bond
Where did It go?!
Heart beatin faster
Close to my disaster
This fairy tale
has no Happily ever after
Eyes slowly shut
Before I leave
Her cryin face, Is what I see.
My final words to her were
Don't touch me.
In heaven I cry
Wish I could change time
Can't believe that I actually
died by a lie.
Jul 17, 2013
Jul 17, 2013 at 2:37 PM UTC
I can't think straight
(Or crooked or sideways).
I'm too ******* tired to invent some new distraction
(You're no good at party tricks)
And too scared to figure out what the hell I want.
The water's filling up your lungs—
A kiss could make it all better,
But I'm too busy blowing bubbles
And skipping rocks across the surface.
Despite it all, you stand and wait
When I fall behind on our afternoon walk
And offer me your arm when the trail gets steep.
You're oxygen, but I'm reaching for novacane,
Trying so hard to be indifferent to the spark in your eyes and the part of your lips,
Though I know **** well it's no use.
I am a moth to a flame—
When it burns too bright, It consumes me.
So I'll turn away before it starts,
Blind myself to every truth except the one I live inside:
If I can't love you, I can't love anybody.
Sep 9, 2015
Sep 9, 2015 at 7:18 PM UTC
Girl, you're in the city
and so the day is a little pretty.
My drug use today
is my thoughts of you
'cause I feel so good
reminiscing about the old views--
When we were blind for each other.
Two mutts in love for the summer.
Apr 3, 2015
Apr 3, 2015 at 6:07 AM UTC
Please don't be my novacane
Because that is no good for me
Don't try to numb my pain
Pain is my sweet misery
I don't want a love additcion
Because I know you won't stay
I couldn't bear your rejection
Your love is a drug to me
Jan 29, 2011
Jan 29, 2011 at 6:39 AM UTC
After all the keys of *******
conversations of heartbreak,
swigs of liquor mundane,
and kisses from Maryjane
I swear I can drive home.
Numb, thinking of Love--
Snapchat your toys when we hang.
Won't reply to my love when you see my name.
Everytime you come back to visit
by the Murrieta cold mist,
you hold my hand and kiss my lips
like you're sick of it.
You told me you still got it for me.
But Girl, why do you dance when I cry?
Been around the beds at the UC
so give me meaning to why I still try.
I'm begging Honeychild,
****** of my eyes.
Dangerous with your lies--
****** to the real stuff,
Couldn't understand my love.
I'm begging Honeychild,
Show my you still got it for me.
I'm out in South County
driving under Orion's belt.
Call you when my drunk heart is for sell again.
"Please, please drive home" you told me,
Suicidal tendencies control me.
No more drugs,
no more driving like the street has me sprung.
But of the bumps that clumped my vision,
and drugs that sunk my conscious,
you were the worse
saying Novacane was yours.
A sad song, why can't you see I'm the one
feeling numb
on the ice cold lawn,
while you're filming ****
with no red light on.
Apr 3, 2015
Apr 3, 2015 at 6:30 AM UTC
I was closest to the stars on the plane,
feeling interstellar and so small.
And there you appeared again in my head.
No matter the places I've been
or the happiness that was touched upon me,
I still wished my best friend
and the love of my life
was there to embrace it all with me.
This world will swallow us--
Spit us out, make us feel small with all its beauty.
The way I see it,
I might as well go through it with you--
With my lost gem,
with my love doll,
making my soul bend
above it all.
Apr 3, 2015
Apr 3, 2015 at 6:38 AM UTC
On the other side of the world--
Mountains of land, crowds of trees,
happy people and courtesy,
beautiful women and new memory.
When I pull on my sleeve
and remember that scars in your name,
I remember that things weren't fair--
How you hung me out to dry.
So therefore I claim it's not love
what I feel for thee,
but I kind of human gravity
that I have no control over.
My rusted magnet
across the blue planet.
Apr 3, 2015
Apr 3, 2015 at 6:35 AM UTC
Wading through galaxies, I’m floating with fairies and pixies
The scene looks picture perfect beautiful pixels
I can’t feel a thing. Novacane to these emotions
Come ride on this high with me, making memories we can’t even remember
Fogs of despair slowly disappear
Long bursts of ecstasy, short waves inbetween fantasies
Dark heart, cold soul fade to black. Don’t bring the light back.
Make the darkness infinite, never bothered me much anyways
Identical to the milky way, on the edge of euphoria
Cant explain these butterflies, lilies blossom out of clear water
Good intentions, delusions of a deluded brother
This is a love crime, pure ******
Might be cold in the winter, but I want you for the summer.
Sep 14, 2016
Sep 14, 2016 at 8:18 PM UTC
She said she loved me
But it’s not enough
Caught me off guard
And I’m taking it rough
She played her game
I played my part
She broke her promise
And it broke my heart
These wounds cuts deep
and it’s all my fault
My heart reacting to this hurt
Like its more than pain
Couldn’t numb my pain
with novacane
All these thoughts rushing
through my brain
disintegrating my heart
As I fall apart
time plays her part
What come, Must go
Looks like we just;
got to that part
Jan 17, 2018
Jan 17, 2018 at 7:44 PM UTC