It's like a dark cloud weighing on my conscience
What a cliche thing to say in a world full of dark clouds
For all my transgressions, I beg forgiveness from the eye that sees all.
For when I am called upon by the looker
To be judged for all my doings
I will be forced to look through the face of judgement
And recognize that the truth is sanctioned in the balance of the universe
And the balance is scaled politely on the shoulders of giants
That scoure the Earth in search of gold hearts and diamond tear drops
Leaving behind nothing more than bleak hopes and dreams casted out into the darkness of nothing.
Broken hearts and shattered dreams
All fray away with unraveled seams
Long for the day to be set free
In wanderlust out by the sea
Listen to the waves they crash and pull
Like musical tunes the sounds will lull
But lonely hearts travel alone
And nowhere ever feels like home
Not out by the vast blue sea
Or in the depths of ripe green trees
These places won't remember me
As lonely hearts are never seen
Not by the eyes of passing souls
Or by the eyes who make us whole
No, lonely hearts must pay a toll
Oh, where do the lonely hearts go?
Hold the camera still
Capture us this way
With smiles in the sunlight
Eternalize this day
Because when the sun begins to set
And the world returns to sleep
Those smiles melt away
And again I start to weep
Weep for the inevitable loss
Because those pictures never last
And I want to feel loved
Like I did once in the past
Perhaps I missed the sign
Perhaps I missed my chance
Just take this horrid picture
Where we're happy at a glance
Crouching in tendrils of bright green grass
Two caterpillars set out on a daunting task
Hearts filled with hope to taste the fruit
Which had rendered so many full and moot
They slugged their way out beneath the sun
And laughed and talked of all they'd done
Distracted they never saw the bird coming
It swooped down much too close and sent them running
Once they were sure the bird was lost
They argued their plan and what it could cost
They were both still afraid the bird would come back
And this time that bird would precisely attack
But they knew in their hearts that they came so far
They couldn't turn back on their wishing star
So they hauled for the tree which was just in sight
When the bird swooped in and with all it's might
Bit a chunk from both caterpillars **** end
And with a mighty resurrection of power would send
Both caterpillars catapulting to the tree
Where both could feast and drink fruit mead
In a drunken stupor honey glazed thoughts soar
The caterpillars lost in slumber would snore
And in their sleep their body's tore
To be rebuilt with fine allure
They stretched out their legs, wings unfolded as well
Both stared in awe at the beauty, love spell
They leapt in the air and tested their wings
And rose to the sky to cheerfully sing
Two soaring butterflies dancing with the wind
They looked at each other and victoriously grinned
They had beat the bird and ate all their fruit
And may never had if they left that route
Feilds of Wildflowers
All blooming with her
Full and lush with color
Not even rain clouds
Would dull her
They would only feed her flame
Which never seems
No she flickers like a star
So bright you'll
And if you follow in her direction
You'll be enveloped
In her protection
Because feilds of Wildflowers
Are lush and
Full of power
In the dead of night
I bend in a bow
Full of dread and lacking sight
I know now
People will whisper loudly
Through actions instead of words
Raising their eyes proudly
Their lies are always heard
Begging I will sprout again
Like spring blossoms, open eyes
Where this dark and dingy road will end
Will end in my surprise
I have graciously fought this war
Although my scars are thick and sore
Fighting to take a breath of air
My heart is sadly tore
These voices leak inside my head
Although I've closed the door
I can hear them even though I shed
They're always wanting more
I will pick back up where I had left off
I am stuck nevermore
And they will roll their eyes and scoff
But I will have the score
In the dead of night
I bend in a bow
I've been given sight
To know what I know now
I feel like I lost myself.
Somewhere in the middle of trying to please everyone around me.
I forgot about me, and I twisted myself into the shape of a noose that I now feel closing tighter around my neck.
Squeezing until my throat pushes back for space, frantically looking around for someone to help me breathe again.
I feel like I gave up.
Somewhere in the middle of trying so hard, my integrity diminished.
Until I was no longer capable of believing I could achieve anything.
Plans would fall through, and I wouldn't stop it.
I feel like I replaced love with company. Somewhere in the middle of trying to belong.
I gave up my needs, and only focused on the fact that I wasn't absolutely alone.
Yet this whole time I'm searching inside myself, and I just feel void.
I'm lacking. Lacking so much.
And I have no one but myself to blame, and maybe just a little can be taken by the fact that this world is not fair.
I am a just person.
I hate to fight.
I hate to see anyone upset.
But I am just a person.
I don't know how long I can keep up this fight.
I just want to close my eyes and be done.