How would you feel if you heard the news that I was dead?
What would you do if you found out from your friends that I was dead?
Would you cycle through your mind,
Think of all the things you should've said, or could've done differently?
If I was dead?
Hanging on by a thread.
"I wanna dance with you all night,
When it's dark,
Until it is bright,
They're playin' the music that we're lovin',
Just to get enough of you,
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Nor is it that we are powerful beyond measure.
Our deepest fear is located in the silence of 3AM
As your mind plays its chords that echo the passage.
Our deepest fear is located in the voids
That can't be filled by the temporary.
Our deepest fear is the realisation that we are what we're scared of.
When the thoughts won't let you close your eyes.
Navy sky and stars in their splendour/
Fragile night quiet and tender/
I look above and see the moon/
And I know you see it too/
So I ask for it to keep you in sight/
And whisper these words to you,
I want the moon to carry these words in its arms and post this letter to your heart ...
golden sun knocks on the door,
of black skies.
its rays reach to the ****,
to try open.
but it's winter here,
so your early warmth,
is blocked by my night cloud's keys.
Sometimes you're too isolated in your winter to open the door to those who want to make you feel their warmth.
The leaves turn green, brown and then fall.
Changes I'm oblivious to as I fantasize about the seeds.
The passion that breathed within with every pull inhaled into lungs as they turned oxygen into love.
The petals that blossomed through the photosynthesis quickened by your radiance.
And though you peeled and picked through me ... I still ponder around.
My hair turns curly, straight and then short.
Changes I'm oblivious to as my feet stay grounded in the imprints of your soil.
Your arms that hold me firm and comfort me,
The harm that wont be coming as you remain a shield.
From the start, walking towards the shock .. the novacane you provide Frankly.
And though your presence brings sweat to my palms.. i still ponder around.
The hymns around me, endless.
Changes I'm oblivious to as I repeat the same tunes.
Warmth from the pink skies painted with a rose coloured brush.
Each stroke from a slow dance that never happened.
But now my body sways to the infinite chords of nostalgia.
Singing melodies skimming past the edges of silver linings.
And though I start to see these sorroundings. . I still ponder around.
These changes taking place near to me and yet I'm oblivious to their tune.
As I choose to tear myself from the truth that today's pool is better to swim in than yesterday's sea of tears and though it takes a lot to testify to this ... I can't ponder around searching anymore ...
28/12/15 01:30 am
I wrote this because I was looking at how much of a nostalgic person I am. To the point where I ignore all the positive changes taking place currently in my life. . . A toxic practice that needs to be left behind.