The room in starlight bathed
My body unscathed
Swimming indoors
sheets are shores

Wash over me like the tide
for I don't sleep at night
Swimming indoors
where it always pours

Moon reflection
on my cushion
Swimming indoors
following ancient lores

Diving deep to find
an Atlantis on my mind
Swimming indoors
til reaching the dream's source

Defying the consensus of complacency,
And the enantiomorphic political practicality,
Candidates embrace their vacillating indexicality.
Spouting thrift store self reliance sapientiality,
Telling lores of cultural compatibility.
Hope filled promises of economic suitability,
Aligned with institutional feasibility.
Packaged in over-inclusive catchall empty signifiers
Strewn across all media screens, communal utilitarian plan flyers.
Requesting no need for responsiveness,
For a vote no longer dictates precedence,
   In the age of social media endemic presence relevance.
                               PFL

I just want you. Intimately, of course, but in every other way possible, too. You see, I've learned that there are very few things in life that consistently make me happy - my art, my words, my dance, and you. It's like I have this hole in my body, like I'm hungry. All my life I have been starving for happiness and love.
Now, every time I'm with you, every time I talk to you even, it's like there's this whole plate of endless joy right before me, but I always just get a taste of it. I never get to dive in and devour the whole thing.
I am this child starving for you; and it really aches on the inside because I see what is placed before me and I never get to have it all. What makes it worse is that I know you will fill me up and I will never grow hungry again.
And it's been like that for years.
Ever since the first time I saw you, and I mean really saw you, I knew that there was something different about you, and that you were going to change my life. You might think I'm crazy, which I probably am, but I can just sense these things out. My heart can sort of predict how someone will make me feel in the future.
When I laid eyes on you I was truly stunned. I had these flashes of emotions, and it actually kind of scared me. They were so intense I didn't know what to do. I still get these rushes all the time, except I understand them now. Not completely - but for the most part.
Do you believe in soul mates? Do you believe in twin flames? I think about it all the time. I read quotes, and theories, and myths, and lores, and when I think about you they all makes sense.
You see, I recently read something about connected souls. They don't understand what time or distance is, they just feel the others absence, and they ache and yearn for them to come back. It doesn't matter if they just left the room or they are in another state, the soul just thinks being away for five minutes feels more like a week.
How do you think my soul feels when you are gone for days? It feels like you are missing from my life for months, years even. I haven't seen you for three or four days and it seems like a weeks time has gone by. It misses you; I miss you. All I think about is how to pass the time until I am in your arms again.
I am not one who believes in reincarnation, but I feel like our hearts have been missing each for years. Like they have been wandering the earth for centuries searching for its other half, and now they have happened to stumble upon each other. Throughout my whole life, my soul has felt like it was missing something, and when I am with you it's like the waters become calm. The storm is over.
And I know I don't get to have you all the time, and any type of relationship we try to have is a battle that we usually end up losing, but I always try to think of the bigger picture. I tell myself, "you don't have to win the battles to win the war." At times it is easier for me to listen to my own advice than others - but I always do my best, and this is why.
I read a quote that made a lot of sense even though I didn't agree with all of it.
".... But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you every thing that is holding you back; the person who brings you to your own attention. So that you can change your life.
A true soul mate is probably the most important person you will ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. ....Souls mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave..."
I always try to convince myself that the reason you come, and break my heart when you leave, is to rip down my walls and to show me another layer of myself. It really only makes sense if you think about it.
Every time I am with you, I, at first, try to be tough and mean but I can never go through with it. I know that I love you and that makes the whole act crumble to the floor. I am too comfortable with you to be like that. I get so use to the feeling of happiness and comfort and love, that when you're gone I feel like a different person. Every time I find another way to sustain myself while you're away. I discover a new part of me that I didn't know was there. I think I am going to be devastated when you go missing, but I surprise myself with the ways I find to push myself through. And then of course - the cycle starts over.
I know that one day, the cycle will end. It will be you and me, and our kids, and our house - just like you planned. When you talk about our future together, it assures me that it's worth the fight, and that things will be okay later in life. After these rocky roads together we will be laid our in our spot in the forest listening to the creek and feel of the cool breeze.

Darling, I love you more than the fish love the sea, and I know you love me too. No matter what we do or where we go in life, that is a fact that will never change. As often as out bodies are apart, I know our souls never will be.

"I'm here. I love you. I don't care if you need to stay up crying all night long, I will stay with you. There is nothing you can ever do to lose my love. I will protect you until you die, and after your death I will still protect you. I am stronger than depression, and I am braver than loneliness, and nothing will ever exhaust me."
*-Elizabeth Gilbert

The thunder-lord had forsaken no soul today,
And the wet sand was retaining every step being put forth.
As the army of a hundred and thousand descended from far away,
He stood on the watch tower, keeping an eye on all; the wise lord.
His men by his side, drenched as he- but nonetheless not afraid,
They have heard the stories of these marching men.
A black smoke devouring all as far as one could see, they said-
And many kingdoms those have fed them, but the hunger would never end.


The queen sat by the ailing sunlight, sunset never seen more red,
Morbid thoughts wrecking havoc on her fragile mind.
How many more must perish and what more was to be bled,
So let it be - with monsters and beasts now a king must dine.
She thought, what a crime.

The weather grew colder as the sun hid behind the ashen'd hills,
And a master sat upon a throne carried by ten men.
The forest was growing thick and there was a silenced shrill,
And walls of a kingdom was coming to them.
There he laid his eyes upon an another tale,
Like so many others, he mustn't let them stand his path.
His eyes red as blood and skin full of scars and pale,
He had the blood of his ancestors gushing through his heart.
He was no king- he was a master and a master has no kingdom, only slaves.
Despaired as far as the words can reach, he was but a demi-god.
His conquest to conquer all and make world his cage,
Now the only one standing by his side, the lone lord.

His eyes grew weary- as he watched, the men in black march,
A blacksmith he was, standing tall- with a bow by the king.
Looking beyond barely, he was awaiting the dark,
When the moon will hover and the owls will sing.
For a thousand years they had made this place their home,
In an overgrowth of wild ashen'd oak, in shadows.
Where no one dared to cross their path of stone,
In rivers those run red at night and where corpses lay afloat.
But he knew his king and he knew the curse they all consumed,
Only the lord of sun had the power to crush their walls,
'tis the land of their old, a charm in its cold and gloom,
He stood weak but awake, for here cometh the nightfall.


The march came to halt as the last rays kissed the air,
Outside the walls, they stood bare- prying behind the curtains.
Now it was all but clear- a hundred thousand men were here,
As them walls now glowed in the burning lanterns.
Thought he- the master of all, how could it be,
The kingdom in the dark had stood for a thousand years.
How many more like him had ventured beyond the haunted sea,
But all there was to this place, were tales of fear.
They said the king was no mere mortal,
But a nightmare- wicked and wise, cruel when he must be.
He had heard of the stories- these walls harboured a portal,
A place of vanquish for all those who dared to claim their land and trees.


He stood up and in almost a growl he said,

" bow before me, oh the mighty- and
you shall be spared my wrath "

His eyes red and cold and his fist around his sword, he prayed,

" for ye' men, women and children- a
warning and a last "

The king whispered with ice in his voice and rage in his heart,

" for a thousand years we have lived and will for a thousand more "

And clouds hungover and huge shadows they did cast,

" what of the men who stood before you- did ye' not hear the lores ?"

The clouds began to disperse as the moonlight kissed the air,

" I have heard of them, he said, but
only a child will ever believe them "

He said loud enough so every last man could hear,

" enough of your words, now your age
will come to an end "


And then he smiled- the lone king, he whispered

" men might claim evil, but they can
never devour monsters "

His eyes grew darker as the thirst for blood lingered,

" ye' don't have a clue, who we must
be- oh my master "

The pale master drew his sword and screamed from beyond,

" ye' dare humiliate me, so be it, oh my
lone king- none shall survive after "

The lone king drew his breath and teeth - like in a trance, a song,

" Oh fool, ye' still can't feel-
nevertheless, I'm no lone king,
my name is Dracula, my master ".




And like they did, for a thousand years- the river ran red after the feast.

the old king saw him young
and now he saw no child
what he bore with all his love
gave him a fruit rotten and wild
in songs of him, in lores of them
he heard not a sound
and now when he could see more clear,
He saw only the dark all around.

and where is my crown, the old king asked-
Should I bow my head so low ?
You stand there with one mocking smile,
What truth I don't know ?
in a sky so blue, in a sky so dark
we stand strong behind our walls
and if you dare to bleed my love
You'll taste the sharp of my claws.
not on my head, not on my throne
but them eyes know no lies
and in here with all that is mine
you dare to look in my eyes ?







and so he whispered and so he spoke,
of the gods young and old-
the little man with red in his eyes-
and the words so cold

and so he screamed and so he spoke
of the lores young and old
the little man with red in his eyes-
and a sorrow to behold.

so the king won't see the stars those change,
in the glow of his throne ?
them colours do change, oh my lord
but every moment a new morrow is born
what is mine and what is yours
that is not for us to weep
and when you're gone, oh my king
what you leave will be mine to keep
beyond the pines I see what we can claim,
Is that not how the world goes by ?
In the stones when they engrave our names,
they would sing not about the moment we died.





If you seek the glory you abide, hear-
the gods won't hear your call
so what if you have age by your side,
you haven't seen the scattered dolls
and where is your kingdom ?
to rule them all,
is that how you will cause them stars to fall ?
you are mine and i am your king
you know nothing what lies beyond those walls
In a sky so blue, in a sky so dark
the stars have a place to hide
and what will you do when you have them claws-
Open your heart far and wide ?






and so he cursed and so he wrote
every tear down on a page
and so he purged and so he wrote
Every scar from the rage

and so he cursed and so he wrote
every drop on the page
and so he purged and so he wrote
behind the curtains of the stage





I will find my own fate, said the little man
my father knows nothing of the ills I've seen
we're mocked all about from beyond the walls
I've always wanted what we must have once been
In the name of the gods I must seek the justice
my blood will seep in the ground and mark my claim
I will uproot the graves and make the dead speak
for they knows about the people beyond the walls, small and strange

dead men don't sing to the world
no one can hear them against the winds
Their is the land of ash and dust
nobody is awake at the gates to take them in

dead people don't knock on no doors
they don't have our walls to keep them from being freed
it is not true what they say in old lores
they have no souls so that their heart could bleed

silence is not peace, I know you have never wondered
'tis but a disease, old and rotten not breathing anymore

there are places where when one shall go will always wander
even the deceased, who once had ones worth living for

upon the night darkness weaves an hideous potrait
showing a face and keeping stars from fading away
all who are lost can be more than just be in a cage
you wouldn't know how many dead men you've seen today,


take a look in the mirror.

my eyes are falling asleep
somewhere drowning deep
in an endless summer
I hear myself dream
standing by a river
hearing lores and thunder
winds howl of winter
in that silence I hear her scream
and whisper, as she withers
lingering with all I have been
i have known nothing without her
and now I believe what can't be seen
they say I am a fool
but I know better, for I have loved
and I still dream

savage men with army of teeth
mowing down the ancient life
in all of the curses god has preached
he's the one most wicked and vile
mangled veins chocking a mothers breath
Killing another child in wombs darkness
men eating trees, in lores of plants and death
walking on an old yellow road to nothingness
eating radioactive bites and pieces
in bits and diseases, poisoned veins
pouring an acid on time that bleaches
and reaches, where he's no more again
all those naked skeletons seem the same
only buried hand in hand in cold depths
now who's rich, what weight has a name
after all who died have wept and left


sane don't blow a head off, do they
angles don't cut themselves at birth
generations upon generations lost away
in strangers burning all across the world

may the corpses rest in peace
killed by them scars and disease
cutting a smile in half
awaiting the sweet relief

tears spilling in grief
breathing the ever lasting pain
until it's too late to leave
I don't know what I became

and ran through those doors
out in the ocean
climbing up the walls
that are now old and broken

swam with the sharks
and I danced with the clouds
as a symphony of thunder played
beyond the reach and loud

lightning up the fiery stars
as they fell down from the sky
exploding in a thousand pieces
and no one could hear me cry

that was a rather lonely time
there was not much to find
in dark that consumed me whole
i lost all that was ever mine

i turned to see but it was gone
nothing but empty space all around
i screamed and wept for the names
but there was never to be no sound

then a shiver ran through my bones
and I felt a stranger in my own skin
thunder was raging up and high
I thought that would be my coffin

and then I saw the dead crawling
in numbers on the shore
a sea of rotten meat
like they sang in the old lores

winds blew me to the herd
as they grazed beyond a red sea
the sky was full of birds
more than it was supposed to be

there I stood in the shadows
mesmerized by what I had seen
memories spent in mourning
how long could it have been

I'm forgetting all that matters
time has never felt so wrong
in the ages that have been withered
have I been dead for so long ?




i remember dreaming of a ghost
in whispers I heard him sing
he told me that I shall too be
swept away by the northern winds

Stop holding me back for once,
see the fire burning in every ounce
of scribbles and words of mine.
Stop making me guilty for my flight,
and look into the horizon so bright.
Stop making me resent your roof,
while all this time you stay aloof.
Stop shaming me for someone's fault,
and let them go into the devil's vault
of sins, see the virtues in me that I lock
from the fear that you might tear and block.
Stop thinking my life for your honour,
and save this human in me from this horror.
Stop it, with your words that shatter my esteem
and do make me drift away from your team.
Stop the assumptions from the lores of the devil,
and look into my dreams arranged in levels.
Stop it , Stop it, Stop it,
When will you feel words I write
and stop linking insanity with my fight.  
Stop it

How long till your
tongues stop
spitting arrows of
assumptions of
delusional malice
against me?
Does it feel good,
to stoop so low
for your apparent
ego,
that you deceive
yourself into spewing
lores of lies?
These arrows will miss
me, as I sway to
my nature of mind.
And you will go on
for,
how long?

10:00 pm
"In lores written on skins: deep in red,
They say- Love is a parasite.
Spells woven in lies and comfort made it whole. Almost perfect.
Devouring every ounce of flesh it crept on to-
Blood red, blood red.
Roses dried. Women sacrificed-
Rituals written in a language we all fail to fathom; almost always
Red turned brown on pages that smell of broken promises- time measured in aeons."
.
.
.
2:18 am
I see the lights flickering in the distant background across the sky
Your eyes look into mine-
a thousand galaxies
Your skin rough, your lips soft:
Blood red, blood red
I sighed. Love is after all nothing
But a parasite.
And then
there's a kiss, in a darkened room.
I feel it- the parasitic dread.
.
.
.
7:20 am
I am dead.