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Lynsey-Nova Mar 2013
hands in front
eyes cast down
legs spread wide
the time is now

bruising fingers
bite my thighs
laughing mouth
catch my cries

pain is good
pleasure rare
understood
yes sir I'm here

body used
broken soul
lost in you
loose all control

tied with
leather never lace
time stand still
in this place

bleeding I lie
and wait for more
hungry to please
hungry to score

******* please
******* more
******* leaves
me begging
more
more
more
R Sep 2013
I am that creepy stare
Across the hall.
The weird laugh
In the crowd.
The shortest one
ever.
The girl who just
Wants to be happy.
The girl who looks happy
But is so empty.
Who wants to travel.
Who wants to go
To college far away.
Who wants to speak
3 languages.
Who wants to be
Famous.
Who loves a good book.
Who cries when
Sherlock dies/not.
Who smiles at the thought
Of others smiling.
Who likes older men cause
She has daddy issues.
Who has an old soul.
Who likes girls way more
Than she should.
Who writes poetry
To get her feelings
Out.
Who takes art seriously and
Tries her best not to
Make art on her wrists.
Who wants the best for
The people she loves.
Who wants to make magic
With Harry potter.
Who just wants to fit in.
Who wants to be
Happy.
Who wants to smile for
Real.
Who wants to live.

I'm sure there is more but it's 7 ******* A.M. And I'm tired as ****.
x
Nyssa Jacobsen Dec 2011
Lie in bed with me
                   For here my thoughts can flutter-
Become weightless but are not gone
For that I need you

Your hot pulse against
    My cold aura
                            ignites a light
that plays friendly hide and seek
                            with the dark
Because our deepest desires
            are those which shadows do hide

When the sun cries silently
and weeps across the sky
emotion shall crawl down my face
Us
    this bed does not wish to deny
PaperclipPoems May 2016
She was screaming
Pounding on the door
"Let me in!"
Knuckles ****** from the constant banging
Her voice was raspy and if you could see her
You would recognize that her eyes were burning from all of the tears
And her cheeks were flushed from her efforts
Let me in, she cries
Let me in...
But as you two stared in each other's eyes that day
And you continued to tell her of nothing things, as you always do
She listened
You did not hear her begging,
Only because she did not ask you directly
But inside she was giving up
Leaning her back against the wall to the right of the entrance
Lifeless body and limbs weighted to the ground
One hand barely tapping the bottom of the door
Her eyes fighting to remain open
She is fading
She is giving up on you.
Tyson Williams Dec 2010
Something’s afoot
Of this I am sure
Of exactly what
I’m not

When my eyes catch a glimpse
My heart skips a beat
And briefly butterflies fly

When she moves
I am drawn
When she stops
I am drawn
When she smiles
I am drawn
When she cries
I am drawn
-
There is warmth
There is prospect.
There is stock
In imminent return

There is firm retribution
There is cold creeping in!
In leaving
In wretched departure

There is joy in re-joining
There is heartening

When firm is footfall
And sweet singing sounds
Summer is coming
There my love is found
© Tyson Williams
Empty halls filled with echoes of lost cries
Passageways
Dark
Damp
*****
Neglected by human hands
Leading to a chamber
Nearly empty
Except for one thing
Chained to a corner …a heart
Alone,
Crying,
Dying
Left to rot and wither
The tears turned to rage
Of loneliness,
Brokenness,
Grief,
Damage.
Amber Leslie Apr 2014
Strike the clock
family lost
at the red blood wedding
from the evil the concurs the land,
For a girl hides
but no mother cries
when her daughter is married away
                 trapped in their clutches to stay.
No armoured men go off to war
but only soldiers from far away.
Snow hasn't fallen
but winter is calling
Far north of the wall
                    It awake.
Alyssa Underwood Jan 2020
Evil will always invite us to a feast of retaliation—that seductive chance to pay an offender back with more evil, disguised under the pretense of protecting what is rightfully ours and of defending our dignity. Reciprocated malice is what it craves most of us, as it thrives on infecting us with its slimy, slithery, leprous self. It seeks voraciously, insatiably to ensnare, enslave and devour us, for it's a hideously monstrous creature sent from deepest caverns of hell. Its predatory intent is to extinguish our light with its darkness, and if we open the door to it (even a crack) it will reach around with long, lecherous fingers to grab us by the throat and choke the life out of us with such force and speed that we won't even see it coming.

But goodness has an invitation of its own, an invitation both to us and to our offender, an invitation to drive out the infection of evil and illuminate the darkness. It invites us, when offended, into the precarious but glorious adventure of turning the other cheek. But first we must understand clearly that this turning of the cheek should never be mistaken for turning a blind eye to continual sin. It is NOT ignoring the hurt or diminishing the harm done to us so that we might spare ourselves the dreaded inconvenience of rocking the boat and disrupting our own greater interests, nor is it foolishly submitting to evil's unhindered presence around us and control over us while cowering in the face of it. It is not attempting to self-righteously shrug off that which feels to us like a serrated knife twisting in our belly or burying, beneath the layers of an ever toughening heart, the fallout from an ongoing betrayal which mocks all that is decent and sacred. It is not weakly accommodating habitual, sinful behavior in the name of peacemaking, giving up the good fight of faith in order to give in and just live with it while our soul suffocates in the meantime. It is not saying that it doesn't matter, that it's okay or no big deal. To do so (and I have surely done them all) is to deny the powerful truth of the gospel, the truth of the serious and highly offensive nature of all sin, the truth that God absolutely hates it, is greatly angered by it, calls it what it is and that He desires (and has made provision through Jesus Christ) to set sinners free from it, not simply overlook it and leave them entangled in it.

So we too ought to have a righteous anger toward the destructive nature of sin, both in ourselves and in others, seeing it as God sees it and calling it what He calls it by humbly speaking the truth in love and pointing them to Christ. And once we have removed (or are willingly, honestly engaged in the process of removing) the obvious plank(s) from our own eye (including a crouching fear of uncomfortable but necessary confrontation), we are supposed to do what we can (whenever and however the Holy Spirit leads us...that part is most essential) to help others (with mercy, meekness and wisdom from God) remove the speck from theirs. We are called to 'restore gently' (Galatians 6:1) and '****** others from the fire and save them' (Jude 23) as the Lord enables us by His sovereign and saving grace to do it, to enter fully into His kingdom work in this dark world and into the risky business of loving even our worst enemies. It is our high privilege and duty as followers of Jesus Christ and those who bear His name on this earth to participate with Him in His work of redemption. He alone can save and deliver from sin, but we are called to be some of the instruments He providentially uses in the process.

Turning the other cheek (as Jesus taught it, commanded it and lived it out) is a shrewd, deliberate and Spirit-led extending of extravagant grace and unselfish blessing to our offender, along with a daringly tactical invitation to him to show his true colors and his true intentions, whatever they may be. Exactly how this looks and plays out will vary greatly depending on the unique circumstance or relationship, and we must always rely fully on the Lord (on His word and through communion with Him in prayer, His perfect example and His prompting) to give us wisdom and creativity in carrying out our part with humility and discernment, never forgetting that we too are in want of much deliverance from our own sins and besetting habits and therefore in desperate need of others to graciously do the same for us.

We must ask and believe God for His step-by-step direction in all of these things and be willing to follow Him no matter what it might cost us, even if the price is the seemingly unbearable discovery that our offender does not and will not love us—a possibility which may feel worse to us than death. The paralyzing fear of such a devastating revelation can easily become one of our greatest stumbling blocks to giving truly wise and beneficial gifts to those who hurt us, especially if they are among those from whom we desire a particular intimacy and acceptance.

Are we willing to face even more rejection? Are we willing to set aside our own 'need' to be loved by them in order to courageously, unconditionally love them as Jesus loves them and as He loves us—with a yearning for deliverance from sin and restoration to intimacy with God that requires the laying down of oneself for the sake of the other, the spending of oneself on behalf of the spiritually captive, naked, hungry and oppressed? And if not for their sake, are we willing to do it for the sake of our own intimacy with Christ and our own soul's hunger? Are we willing to rest completely in and rely only on His perfect and never-ending love to fill us so full that it cannot help but spill over to them? Are we willing to trust that He is enough for us in all things and at all times through all situations?

However complicated the situation may be, offering the other cheek is meant to be a sacrificially loving and boldly open invitation for our offender to make a clear and definite choice between repentance or continued and greater evil. It gives him the freedom, the responsibility and the obvious opportunity to decide exactly what he will do with our 'other cheek.' Will he 'kiss' it with genuine kindness this time (as a pledge toward true restoration) or strike us once again? The choice and responsibility are his alone, but either way it will eventually expose him for what he really is and his intentions for what they actually are and, perhaps, by the mercy of God bring him to see his need and desire for true reconciliation and healing. Our part is simply to hunger for him to hunger after God and to do what we can to cunningly provoke such an appetite.

But even if that never happens, even if he chooses to remain in captivity to sin, evil will no longer have a safe place to hide in the shadows. And once it is out in the open we can look it fully in the face with our dignity intact and without backing down or shrinking from our call to always be the aroma of Christ, and we can overcome it with the power of good through the strength of Jesus and the praise of His name (even when the situation and the Spirit dictate that it is wisest to keep our mouth shut and 'not cast our pearls...'). And because of Christ's satisfying love and all-sufficient grace, we can do it again and again and again, not with reluctance and resentment but with overwhelming compassion and unexplainable peace flooding our soul, even in the midst of earth-shattering pain. We can defeat evil by our very refusal to give into it or become part of it and by our determination to rest in the Lord and His promise to defend us in His perfect time and in His perfect way. And that is the heart's ultimate 'vengeance' against evil, for surely it cries out resoundingly for it.

So rather than taking our desired revenge on the evildoer (our offender), we can take it straight out upon the evil one (the devil), upon our real enemy and on his evil schemes. One of the weapons which the Lord has given us to carry out this precise form of tactical warfare is forgiveness, and we must learn to use it regularly, skillfully and lavishly without giving way to fearful intimidation or self-serving cowardice. 'And who is equal to such a task?' Only the Spirit of Christ living in us! We are utterly dependent on Him to do it in and through us and, unless we yield to His grace and power, it will be an impossible undertaking.

Dear wounded and hurting ones, we have been issued distinct invitations to two mutually exclusive feasts, and it is time now for us to choose which one we will be attending. There is much at stake in our decision, and so we must journey to the foot of the cross to make it...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MoMo Oct 2012
Tell me where the Sunshine went
And why she won’t come back.
Whatever happened to the sticky little fingers
that would reach through the tree leaves to paint the sky?
The patter of little feet on the linoleum is gone.
The ***** smudges on the walls are all that’s left
of the child the Moonlight once was.
Before she grew tall, and thin, and shapely.
Before she lost herself in yesterday’s storm.
Now she stands above all, cold and untouchable,
as she watches over the stars.
Tell me where the Sunshine went
And why she won’t come back.
Why the night will never cease just like the rain,
as it courses over the Moonlight and masks her tears.
She cries for the Sunshine
that can no longer light the dark
as the stars streak across the sky,
imitating the comets they wish to be.
While the Moonlight stands, faux sunshine, and watches over the stars.
That smudge the walls as they glide across the linoleum.
The pitter-patter of their tiny feet echoing
through the tree leaves they reach through
with pudgy little fingers to paint the sky.
So tell me where the Sunshine went
And why she wont come back.
Zoe Byrd May 2017
I hate feeling unsure about everything thing I do
Not knowing if what I'm saying is the right thing to say
And not knowing if what I'm doing is the right thing to do
I hate regretting every decision I make
And forcing myself to imagine all of the most horrible outcomes
This insecurity that controls me overpowers any happiness I feel
And I'm so tired of it
Tired of this hate I feel for myself
And tired of my inability to do anything about it
I should love myself for who I am and not have to change in order to do that
Because I am beautiful and perfect just like I am
But my eyes aren't able to see it
And my mind isn't able to think it
Others can say that I'm pretty and gorgeous and beautiful
But the words that come out of their mouths are incomprehensible to me
Depression-filled nights and binging on strawberry poptarts and cheerios is all I know
Not love for myself or others
All I know is nights where I just cry and cry until my mascara streaks my cheeks
Where my eyes burn from all the tears I've shed
Self-hate and insecurity are rearing their ugly heads once again
And I'm just so tired of having to see them
But yet I still get up the next day
Because that is what's expected of me
And because I know there's no other options but to push on and keep trying
I say I'm okay when I'm really not
And I cake my makeup on so the pain that lies beneath isn't seen
My tears and cries are hidden away between the four dark walls of my bedroom and they only come out at night when my day is over and I'm all alone
I'm all alone with no one to protect me and shield me from the pain I inflict upon myself
But then how would someone protect me from myself?
My thoughts run rampant
They cannot and will not be controlled
Not by me or anyone else
Seán Mac Falls Dec 2015
I wanted to know the sighs
Of mercy.  On the bed she lied,
Laid bare in the shocking light
That twitches, as she rolls
I hover and cage her in question,
With moist eyes, abandoned
By loves interrogations,
I stab at the untruths and confusions.
I wanted to hear the supplicant
Murmur of indolence and shame.
With windy caresses I break
Her arms, she ropes me red
In tangled hair and I struggle
To let go.  I wanted to taste
The twin defeats of victory
And indifference, when in the light
Of darkest night there are cries of yes
And no and false accusations,
There is consuming pain and excruciating
Pleasure and as we squirm
And seethe, she teases,
Goading me and then,
I loose it.
Olivia Kent Oct 2013
Embracing His Solace!

In solace mountains scaled.
Solidarity stands strong.
Between two upstanding.
Love matters minimally.
Grace relaxed in cultured elegance.
Company not desired much.

Cries alone.
Dies alone.
Does he moan.
No deals granted.
Pours another escapist drink.
Needed to **** or release the lurking tears.
Forced to descend thy tender cheeks.
Solace found also in my place.

Want no-one to invade my space.
Love freedom to be mine.
Detest freedom myself at times.
Then I to cry.
Flood rivers rarely.
Too selfish to co-exist.
Although your heart and soul I've missed.
No deals wanted.
Love never denied!



By ladylivvi1

© 2013 ladylivvi1 (All rights reserved)
Jules Jun 2016
she is a child on the streets in the light of day.
dancing.
she has made a world of her own, here,
in tattered clothes and still-bright eyes.
she,
who lives in fear and smiles still—
braveheart.

this is the life she lives:
a fight for freedom even now,
a thirst for better days,
a kindness that remains.

this girl—she is a child.
and she is fury.
(beneath the worn-out dress there is a knife.
this child—she has been a fighter in so many lives.)


this lady—she reclaims her royal right.
for far too long she has been dealt too much dirt;
my child. she hurts.

generous child; sometimes I think she has been far too kind.
she has been cheated too many times.
good lady, take back all that they have taken.
I want it back; I want it back. we will take it back.

(this is a shout, a hope, a full demand.)

good lady, you deserve far more than what you have been given.
my lady, dear child,
still you smile.
my goddess,
stay bright.
unsheathe your knife;
raise your voice, speak honest words—
let battle cries be battle cries.

old heart of mine,
old heart of this land I love:
stay bright, stay bright.
we will take it back and more.
heal her.

(6/12/16. maligayang araw ng kalayaan, pilipinas.)
Tanaya Jan 2019
Will I ever prove that I exist? What do I exist as?

I may try and be a shadow to you
trying to protect you from the scorching heat,
but will I ever know that you're a night wanderer?

I may try to be the rainbow
for the silver lining in your storm,
but will I know that you constantly live in a drought?

I may even be a nightingale
filling your ears with music divine,
but when will you tell me that you are deaf?
Deaf to my yearnings and my cries,
and blind towards the tears
that wouldn't come out of my eyes.
Deaf to the rhythm my heart beats for you,
And yet I keep making the music.
I keep making the music.

I keep making the music,
perhaps to prove that I exist.
But what decides existence?
Do I exist?

I exist in nostalgia,
when people remember their first true loves.
I exist in memoirs,
of the greatest rivals they made.
I exist as the guidelines,
of the way they shouldn't live their lives.
I exist in their sensations,
illuminating how comforting a touch should be.

Yet I need to prove that I exist.
Why?
It's clear now.
I exist.
And you do too,
even if it is as a reader or critic of a this mere poem on this website.
I know you're there.
Kuzhur Wilson Jan 2014
Today,
This tree was the very picture
Of a pair of birds
Who had a fight after mating.

You will never understand
The eagerness of this tree
In making every morning a new one
Or daily showing me a new movie,
However I try to describe it
One day
Leaves, that cry
“don’t go” “don’t leave”
To the wind
That passes by

Another day
Of shooing cats feasting in the shade,
On fish bone, from someone’s leftover meal,
After dribbling pigeon-droppings from a branch,

Another day
The tear-filled eyes
Of its own branch
That cries
And supplicates the sun
To heal its wound

Another day
Of its own sister branches
Or, in human parlance, wooden chairs
That have become prostitutes;
On which strange people sit casually.

One day
The Bihari
Who is scared stiff of his lord,
And who runs every time a wind blows
To sweep away the dried leaves
Which the wind has killed,
Having made violent love to them.

On yet another day,
The fruits that laugh their heads off
Along with the little blossoms that laughed once |
At the silver-blue sky

On still another day
The tap root
That suddenly burst into tears
Gazing at the dusk
That draped golden strands on boughs and twigs

On yet another day,
The aged middle-portion of the tree
That unveiled the hitherto unexposed
Moss-green nursling
And prayed that it be named
Another day before this,
Had made me sad
By asking
“Are you wont to see
the other tree-friends
Throughout the countryside ?”

Had made me heartsore
By asking me
“Would you forget me?”

Once, have asked
Whether I would point out
The mother-bird
Who sowed the seed after she ate the fruit
I have made myself broken-hearted  |
wondering
Where or how mother was.

At the moment
When the mind gets shaken up
And becomes even more fragile,
In the memory of
Some trees
That have helped some lives thrive,
Have given shade,
Given oxygen,
Crucified,

O tree,
I am hugging you,
Giving you
A frozen, but still very passionate kiss
With the Alloyed numbness of death and life :
A tree-kiss
Translation : Anitha Varma
Scott M Reamer Mar 2013
Stunning sightings of a stark reality
Made boring as the playhouse sleeps
Watch the show pleas from the beak
The crow doth speak
A tellers tale of the human folk
Whence they both still walked and spoke
He cries in squawks of sheer wonder
A show he'd say loudly frayed
The people evoked only slain opinions
From the mouth black liquid pour
All the pride they had built, split
Release of their very souls
In surrender to the grandeur of the theater whole
So bold it preformed as the creatures sunk deeper
Into the folded molds of their seats
Thus sang the crow the tale he told
Of the how men became stone
At the precipice of only the greatest of shows
i thought this was it
this one is the one
that was my mantra
but happiness seems to preclude
ignoring
this that and the other
and love
love??!
tell me thats not another shade
of pure blindness
yearning seems quaint compared to this
but it still has to be something
lets invent a new word
something that screams like my heart
something that cries and rolls around
something that jumps on the bed
and laughs
and warms my bare feet
im open to suggestions
Just Melz Nov 2014
A downpour,
Heavy flow of rain
Droplets of thoughts
Consuming my brain
The evil curses are pretty
Making me do cruel things
It's a shame you're filled with envy
Cause jealousy is so unbecoming

It hits to the center of the bones
Making endless cracks that don’t belong
It fringes to the core
making a stain that becomes forever more
But why I ask must it be
The control you have over my washing limbs
To take me in paths that consumes the dims
Why must I consider the vast of array?
You broke my heart sending endless pains
Now I lie in a soaking storm

With lightning flashing in my eyes
and thunder filling my soul
It's raging, waiting to burst
I'm under the storms control
A tornado of emotions
Swirling inside my brain
Ripping out what's left of sanity
Leaving behind nothing but pain
I don't understand
I'm confused and so sorry
Please don't feel bad for me
I deserve nothing
Especially your pity


Just allow me to rage within my storm
Leave me, don't stand by my side
You were never there for my deepest cries
I wish to be swept by this storm I so see
To wake and if it be, than it be
But I doom to my death
Plagued like a disease
Scorn to a life less end
And that my friend is
           **my very sin
So wonderful working with Jon.  
I hope you all like it is much as we do.
We are so fragile, us humans
it can be realised in the blink of an eye
a bout of sickness
a terrible accident
yet at the same time
we can endure so much
pain, suffering and loss
sadness, loneliness and worse
our bones break and heal
our minds wither and mend
together we can pull through
the discrepancy of
our bodies fragility and the mind's will
we have strength in numbers
we find solace in companionship
we are not solitary creatures
we are man and woman
father and child, mother and daughter
lovers, friends and whether we like it
or not
we are neighbours

I cry when my fellow man dies
a part of me dies when my mother cries
I scream in frustration for my sisters
seemingly still living in a man's world
I long for success
but never at another's expense
when you suffer I suffer
when I suffer you suffer
so much suffering, so much pain
we are too quick to place the blame
and fall short on finding a solution
that works for all of us
we are individuals in togetherness
we are all the links that give us protection
and we are all the chinks
in this armour
Komara Wyss Sep 2014
"Daddy! Daddy listen to me count!"

One. I am the one. Your youngest descendant. I had no claim to your throne. I didn't want your crown.
Two. You had two other women besides my mother. Your beloved Queen, her closest lady in waiting, and my Mother, a peasant barely of age.
Three. In case you ever wonder a single mother has to work 3 jobs to afford an apartment, that smells like cigarettes and depression, and a diet of Ramen Noodles and freezer meals.
Four. "Mommy cries alot. I can't seem to figure out why. She told me I'm gonna be a big sister. I hope it's a boy."
Five. "Mommy never leaves my bed side at the hospital. We lost our house because Mommy had to quit her jobs. I don't like it here though. They poke me with needles and I'm losing my hair."
Five. "Mommy tells me it's okay that I can let go."
Five. "Grandma said an angel came in the night to make me better.
Five. I got called a boy in the bathroom today.

Five. I forget how to count when I'm emotional.

Five. I don't want to be bald.
Five... I mean...
Six. Your peasant found comfort in the arms of your best friend. His names Jim. He introduces her to Mary Jane, Molly and Aunt Hazel. When they're with her she forgets her two baby girls exist.
Seven. After 7 foster homes we ended up back with Mommy. She's more tired looking but they say she's clean. She still smells like our first apartment.
Eight. My innocent voice would carry the same heart breaking question to my worn out Mother's ears. "Why don't I have a Daddy like every body else."
Eight. The first time I was called a *******.
Eight. At 8 the bullying began.
Eight. Maybe I'd be better of dead.
Eight. He wasn't suppose to do that.
Eight. Mommy said it's wrong for a man to touch me like that.
Eight. Daddy why didn't you save me. You were suppose to protect me from all this.

Eight. Because you loved the feeling of the bottle pressed firm to your lips and the scorching of your throat, burning away any truth that could crawl it's way out your mouth more the 8 children you claimed and your ***** little secret.

Nine. I've seen you 9 times in my life. And each time you look worse. No teeth. Little hair. You've had 9 strokes in just a few short years.They say you spent to much time with Jack, Jim, and Jose. They don't know how you're alive.
Ten. I used to think you were a king. I used to tell myself you were busy running a country, fighting a war, doing anything noble. Instead of just leaving me.

10. I'm an adult now.
9. They say you accept the love you think you deserve.
8. Maybe that's why I fall for the jerks.
7. There's a boy. He likes your friends too.
6. I don't think I'm very happy anymore.
5. Sometimes I like to hang with Uncle Jim and Uncle Jack.
4. I can never have just one.
3. Each time it get's harder to say no to Mommy's girl friends.
2. I'm the daughter if two addicts.
1. "See Daddy I told you I could. I can count from 1 up to 10 and back down 1 again!"
"Sweetheart, that's a teddy bear not your.. your.. your..."
"I know Mommy I'm just pretending."
This is the first time I've written about my Father. It's a release of so many emotions. This was the hardest poem I've ever written. This is my most vulnerable poem.
Bleeding from misleading arrows
struck by the cherub bribed by you
Rusted knives
cut deep
scarred and ditched
after every weakness exposed
Poisoned with streams of angelic lies
poured on my life’s glass that once flowed with
the light of the midnight sun
A love you have shown…
Defined ever after like there’s no end
It felt real
Emotions were filled
yet doubts were the only certainties
And as the mirror reflected the vagueness
it all came to light…
The world has fallen apart
A storm brewed by my believing of
your fabricated feathered wings
I have fallen for your voices of dramas
Lured me to open…
Sacrificed innocent lambs
like a fool’s offerings to false gods
You embraced me as no one ever did
but it was of cloaked deceit that
stabbed the core of me
I have been blinded by your radiance
never seeing the shadow beneath your
echoing beauty
It was a love trying to end my breath
A dagger that slits, a sliver in my sanity
Bled with cries of despair that
no one ever heard
And after everything that has come to pass
I walk in this nowhere
Never knowing…

Mek
Oct07
The firelight was fading
The shadows grew in size
In the distance if you listened
You could hear the faintest cries
Of coyotes and of timber wolf
Signalling the end of day
Howling at the growing moon
Keeping night spirits at bay

The last piece of the sagebrush
Was burning to it's core
The flames that danced as quicksilver
Now, they danced no more
The fire, once was blazing
It's flames a dangerous height
Was now a nest of coal chunks
to warm us through the night

Four days out and three to go
We'd be in two days ahead
The scheduled trip with this years herd
And we'd be back in our own bed
A smaller group of beef this time
But, that's the way it goes
At least we'd leave the mountains
Before the early snows

Coffee from the morning meal
Was still sitting in the ***
Two minutes in the embers
And it was steaming hot
The first round of watch was up
And the coffee was re done
The second watch, for wolves and things
Needed coffee and a gun

Two went down the first night out
We heard the wolves, but missed them all
They'd been following us for three days now
And at night you'd hear them call
They signalled that the day was done
And that the herd was staying still
The darkness was their element
It was time for them to ****

The fire was near finished
The flames were all but smoke
but that cup of cowboy coffee
put life into this old grey cowpoke
If the wolves kept at a distance
And just kept howling at the moon
We'd lose no more beef tonight
And be home two days from noon

The fire spit and crackled
The night was damp and cold
The stars were silent beacons
To the wolves so quick and bold
We heard them in the distance
Howling loud as if to say
Will you make it through till morning?
Wait until we come to play.....
i wake
    it is 8
    i am seven
the sun floods in through the window
(late!)     2 pop-tarts and some juice and out the door in 9 minutes flat.-
r   u   n   n   i   n   g
recon the neighborhood. "Hey, Scott".  We team up. A few of the"little" kids are out as well.
Check at Ricky's. Some sort of punishment, but a little whining and he is free as well.
More kids come out.
          DIRT CLOD WARS!

                                                               ­                                                                 ­                  seek cover

They go behind a dumpster.  us, in a ditch.
we lob (never throw! ) the chunks of red clay which hit the asphalt with a puff
of puce vapor.
Some kid hits my little brother with a thrown clod,
               with a rock in it.
   He cries.
Honor demands a fight.
taunting , shoving,
I hit the kid in the nose and it bleeds. Crying he runs home.
                                                           ­                                   (and I feel a glory Alexander would envy.)
"FELIX, COME HOME FOR LUNCH"
                                                    (5 minutes to devour a bologna sandwich and a glass of chocolate milk)
then ****** into round two. this time hide-and-seek and she . .
                                                                ­                      (the new girl ; corn-silk hair and eyes that . . ??
so i'm "it"
but even the "little" kids are getting Home
      ( i am way out left      
                                                      ­                                      because i know . . .)

- suddenly - 
 she makes a deerlike dash for home, but i am ready,
and like a javelin
appear between her and Home.
"you're out"
as  my hand grasps her shoulder.

                        e v e r y  m o l e c u l e  o f   m y  f l e s h  
                                                             ­                                    !ignites!
                                                                ­                                                                a­nd  i  feel as a god)

The game is over.  Scott, Ricky and I spend an hour tricking the"little" kids into sitting in piles of dog ****.
Suppertime and we are called home.

years have come and gone,
still i remember those summers.
with Scott and Ricky.
and  the  heady . . .
                 . . .dizzying
                breathless . . .
                 . . . bliss
of
      p
          l
              a
                   y. . .!

Sometimes . . . from time to time
I also remember the girl -
                                                                ­                     *(and I still feel a tingle in my right hand.)
JESUS CHRIST, THE HEAVENLY LIGHT *
      
May the colourful Christmas lights
Radiate joy,  show delightful sights
And soon bring to an end
The ever-widening violent trend.  
May there be no fearful threats
Of brutal, ****** fights,
No dark clouds of deadly smoke,
No pungent smell of burning sulphur,
No deafening thunder of terrible gunfire,
No ugly scenes of ruined homes
And piteous orphans' cries
And parents' heart-rending wails,
No sorrow that dims the light
In anyone's eyes.
May the light of knowledge and wisdom
Illumine the path to happiness,
May the light of joy and love
Sparkle in everyone's eyes
In every humble home.  
May the divine voice of Jesus Christ
Lead all mankind from darkness to Light.
              **       M.G.N.Murthy,
Hyderabad, India
* This is a revised version of my earlier poem "FESTIVAL OF LIGHTS."
Eric Flaze Mar 2010
Distant letters to town making there way back home. Distant soldier in war losing himself.  Tears write the words on his paper. And the pain in his heart.   

Chorus: he stands firmly in the dirt. His solute flailing through the sky to his forehead. His command heard through the air to his followers. He cries. Welcome young worrier. Welcome young pride. Welcome young fighters, here you can't be afraid to die.   

He fights for his family rights. Battles for the worlds freedom. Standing beside his fellow soldier. Hes there crying shoulder.  Little did he know that the fear of leaving here. Was instilled in his soul. A life of hiding himself from the world. Because he wants his children to be happy, and never learn to to be cruel.  As he takes out a pen. Writing dear son I can't believe your ten. Send my love to your mom. Cause honey I love you to. Wiping his eyes as the tears fell through. Writing I love you sincerely and forever yours. As he returns to his storm. His stance is formed .  

Chorus: he stands firmly in the dirt. With  His solute flailing through the sky to his forehead. His command heard through the air to his followers. He cries. Welcome young worrier. Welcome young pride. Welcome young fighters, here you can't be afraid to die.

After his speech walking back to his cabin his. Stopped by his commander above him. To hear him say you've been commissioned. To fight with your men on the next mission. He knew the journey that he'd take with them. Would be a dangerous one. So out in the Baghdad as the bullet shells. Missing him by only a few  inches. Standing with his men in the ditches he screamed over the noise of the bombs landing just over their heads. Commanding through his tears. 

Chorus: he stands firmly but with fear. With his feet in the sand. His solute flailing through the sky to his forehead. His command heard through the air to his followers. He cries. Welcome young worrier. Welcome young pride. Welcome young fighters, here you can't be afraid to die. This is close to the end. By let them not forget our let's breathe. 

These where the words he said, fighters for freedom. Remember to pray each day. Cause today is a gift , givin and gained by warriors pain..Don't forget them.
http://www.booksie.com/song_lyrics/poetry/foliostar/freedom-fight
Pennsylvania, 1948-1949

The garden of Nature opens.
The grass at the threshold is green.
And an almond tree begins to bloom.

Sunt mihi Dei Acherontis propitii!
Valeat numen triplex Jehovae!
Ignis, aeris, aquae, terrae spiritus,
Salvete!—says the entering guest.

Ariel lives in the palace of an apple tree,
But will not appear, vibrating like a wasp’s wing,
And Mephistopheles, disguised as an abbot
Of the Dominicans or the Franciscans,
Will not descend from a mulberry bush
Onto a pentagram drawn in the black loam of the path.


But a rhododendron walks among the rocks
Shod in leathery leaves and ringing a pink bell.
A hummingbird, a child’s top in the air,
Hovers in one spot, the beating heart of motion.
Impaled on the nail of a black thorn, a grasshopper
Leaks brown fluid from its twitching snout.
And what can he do, the phantom-in-chief,
As he’s been called, more than a magician,
The Socrates of snails, as he’s been called,
Musician of pears, arbiter of orioles, man?
In sculptures and canvases our individuality
Manages to survive. In Nature it perishes.
Let him accompany the coffin of the woodsman
Pushed from a cliff by a mountain demon,
The he-goat with its jutting curl of horn.
Let him visit the graveyard of the whalers
Who drove spears into the flesh of leviathan
And looked for the secret in guts and blubber.
The thrashing subsided, quieted to waves.
Let him unroll the textbooks of alchemists
Who almost found the cipher, thus the scepter.
Then passed away without hands, eyes, or elixir.


Here there is sun. And whoever, as a child,
Believed he could break the repeatable pattern
Of things, if only he understood the pattern,
Is cast down, rots in the skin of others,
Looks with wonder at the colors of the butterfly,
Inexpressible wonder, formless, hostile to art.


To keep the oars from squeaking in their locks,
He binds them with a handkerchief. The dark
Had rushed east from the Rocky Mountains
And settled in the forests of the continent:
Sky full of embers reflected in a cloud,
Flight of herons, trees above a marsh,
The dry stalks in water, livid, black. My boat
Divides the aerial utopias of the mosquitoes
Which rebuild their glowing castles instantly.
A water lily sinks, fizzing, under the boat’s bow.


Now it is night only. The water is ash-gray.
Play, music, but inaudibly! I wait an hour
In the silence, senses tuned to a ******’s lodge.
Then suddenly, a crease in the water, a beast’s
black moon, rounded, ploughing up quickly
from the pond-dark, from the bubbling methanes.
I am not immaterial and never will be.
My scent in the air, my animal smell,
Spreads, rainbow-like, scares the ******:
A sudden splat.
I remained where I was
In the high, soft coffer of the night’s velvet,
Mastering what had come to my senses:
How the four-toed paws worked, how the hair
Shook off water in the muddy tunnel.
It does not know time, hasn’t heard of death,
Is submitted to me because I know I’ll die.


I remember everything. That wedding in Basel,
A touch to the strings of a viola and fruit
In silver bowls. As was the custom in Savoy,
An overturned cup for three pairs of lips,
And the wine spilled. The flames of the candles
Wavery and frail in a breeze from the Rhine.
Her fingers, bones shining through the skin,
Felt out the hooks and clasps of the silk
And the dress opened like a nutshell,
Fell from the turned graininess of the belly.
A chain for the neck rustled without epoch,
In pits where the arms of various creeds
Mingle with bird cries and the red hair of caesars.


Perhaps this is only my own love speaking
Beyond the seventh river. Grit of subjectivity,
Obsession, bar the way to it.
Until a window shutter, dogs in the cold garden,
The whistle of a train, an owl in the firs
Are spared the distortions of memory.
And the grass says: how it was I don’t know.


Splash of a ****** in the American night.
The memory grows larger than my life.
A tin plate, dropped on the irregular red bricks
Of a floor, rattles tinnily forever.
Belinda of the big foot, Julia, Thaïs,
The tufts of their *** shadowed by ribbon.


Peace to the princesses under the tamarisks.
Desert winds beat against their painted eyelids.
Before the body was wrapped in bandelettes,
Before wheat fell asleep in the tomb,
Before stone fell silent, and there was only pity.


Yesterday a snake crossed the road at dusk.
Crushed by a tire, it writhed on the asphalt.
We are both the snake and the wheel.
There are two dimensions. Here is the unattainable
Truth of being, here, at the edge of lasting
and not lasting. Where the parallel lines intersect,
Time lifted above time by time.


Before the butterfly and its color, he, numb,
Formless, feels his fear, he, unattainable.
For what is a butterfly without Julia and Thaïs?
And what is Julia without a butterfly’s down
In her eyes, her hair, the smooth grain of her belly?
The kingdom, you say. We do not belong to it,
And still, in the same instant, we belong.
For how long will a nonsensical Poland
Where poets write of their emotions as if
They had a contract of limited liability
Suffice? I want not poetry, but a new diction,
Because only it might allow us to express
A new tenderness and save us from a law
That is not our law, from necessity
Which is not ours, even if we take its name.


From broken armor, from eyes stricken
By the command of time and taken back
Into the jurisdiction of mold and fermentation,
We draw our hope. Yes, to gather in an image
The furriness of the ******, the smell of rushes,
And the wrinkles of a hand holding a pitcher
From which wine trickles. Why cry out
That a sense of history destroys our substance
If it, precisely, is offered to our powers,
A muse of our gray-haired father, Herodotus,
As our arm and our instrument, though
It is not easy to use it, to strengthen it
So that, like a plumb with a pure gold center,
It will serve again to rescue human beings.


With such reflections I pushed a rowboat,
In the middle of the continent, through tangled stalks,
In my mind an image of the waves of two oceans
And the slow rocking of a guard-ship’s lantern.
Aware that at this moment I—and not only I—
Keep, as in a seed, the unnamed future.
And then a rhythmic appeal composed itself,
Alien to the moth with its whirring of silk:


O City, O Society, O Capital,
We have seen your steaming entrails.
You will no longer be what you have been.
Your songs no longer gratify our hearts.


Steel, cement, lime, law, ordinance,
We have worshipped you too long,
You were for us a goal and a defense,
Ours was your glory and your shame.


And where was the covenant broken?
Was it in the fires of war, the incandescent sky?
Or at twilight, as the towers fly past, when one looked
From the train across a desert of tracks

To a window out past the maneuvering locomotives
Where a girl examines her narrow, moody face
In a mirror and ties a ribbon to her hair
Pierced by the sparks of curling papers?


Those walls of yours are shadows of walls,
And your light disappeared forever.
Not the world's monument anymore, an oeuvre of your own
Stands beneath the sun in an altered space.


From stucco and mirrors, glass and paintings,
Tearing aside curtains of silver and cotton,
Comes man, naked and mortal,
Ready for truth, for speech, for wings.


Lament, Republic! Fall to your knees!
The loudspeaker’s spell is discontinued.
Listen! You can hear the clocks ticking.
Your death approaches by his hand.


An oar over my shoulder, I walked from the woods.
A porcupine scolded from the fork of a tree,
A horned owl, not changed by the century,
Not changed by place or time, looked down.
Bubo maximus, from the work of Linnaeus.


America for me has the pelt of a raccoon,
Its eyes are a raccoon’s black binoculars.
A chipmunk flickers in a litter of dry bark
Where ivy and vines tangle in the red soil
At the roots of an arcade of tulip trees.
America’s wings are the color of a cardinal,
Its beak is half-open and a mockingbird trills
From a leafy bush in the sweat-bath of the air.
Its line is the wavy body of a water moccasin
Crossing a river with a grass-like motion,
A rattlesnake, a rubble of dots and speckles,
Coiling under the bloom of a yucca plant.


America is for me the illustrated version
Of childhood tales about the heart of tanglewood,
Told in the evening to the spinning wheel’s hum.
And a violin, shivvying up a square dance,
Plays the fiddles of Lithuania or Flanders.
My dancing partner’s name is Birute Swenson.
She married a Swede, but was born in Kaunas.
Then from the night window a moth flies in
As big as the joined palms of the hands,
With a hue like the transparency of emeralds.


Why not establish a home in the neon heat
Of Nature? Is it not enough, the labor of autumn,
Of winter and spring and withering summer?
You will hear not one word spoken of the court
of Sigismund Augustus on the banks of the Delaware River.
The Dismissal of the Greek Envoys is not needed.
Herodotus will repose on his shelf, uncut.
And the rose only, a ****** symbol,
Symbol of love and superterrestrial beauty,
Will open a chasm deeper than your knowledge.
About it we find a song in a dream:


Inside the rose
Are houses of gold,
black isobars, streams of cold.
Dawn touches her finger to the edge of the Alps
And evening streams down to the bays of the sea.


If anyone dies inside the rose,
They carry him down the purple-red road
In a procession of clocks all wrapped in folds.
They light up the petals of grottoes with torches.
They bury him there where color begins,
At the source of the sighing,
Inside the rose.


Let names of months mean only what they mean.
Let the Aurora’s cannons be heard in none
Of them, or the tread of young rebels marching.
We might, at best, keep some kind of souvenir,
Preserved like a fan in a garret. Why not
Sit down at a rough country table and compose
An ode in the old manner, as in the old times
Chasing a beetle with the nib of our pen?
Nat Lipstadt Feb 2018
honor: “you stumble where gods get lost”

honor,

still the tattoo being drawn on my senses,
unresolved and demanding
solution or surrender,
acknowledging, that I am not poet enough

tho y’all keep diverting me with poem commissions,
half started but will freezer keep until Jacob’s angel and I
have wrestled this honor notion to the ground for good,
which means once and forever

Patti’s words distinctly heard:
“you stumble where gods get lost”
and that’s what the poetry is for,
to word wrestle until the resolution revelation shines
and someone cries out uncle, father, son, are we not all
samed and shamed when we wrestle with honor


will you know honor when it presents itself?

a man keeps his word and another honors them both
with a monthly sum that says friendship is a promise kept

a father texts to a son in trouble “got your back” that elicits
a return verse of “I love you;”. that’s love, not honor cause someone remembers their immigrant father’s hell going slowly by and this poem and that memory revived, that’s honor

(******* tears on my phone screen, a ****** pain @6:53am
on sabbath morn; no body invited the interlopers;  not me anyway)

honor is not a parade or not the kind on my mind today: the honor that gets you medaled that’s all about brotherhood,
that’s a different kind of honor I understand but not what I’m
about right wright write now

looking for small acts, small doses, nearly invisible to the naked
eye, indeed, ya need a scrunched up squint to detect the honor that I need so desperately seek to theorem proof that,
even I got some

one of you wrote me, I am nothing.
one of you wrote me,
that they are all busted up on the boulevard of broken dreams.

trusting a stranger thru his crazier poems with depreciation and overwhelming sadnesses,
is that honor?

my rsvp (how could I not), is that honor?

honor sought in the small necessities which are more important than small kindnesses wrought from love: those come easy natural

necessary necessity, the word itself bleeds pressure on the soul; but i don’t mean paying your bills, burying your parents and such stuff;


honor is in the unnecessary:  where actions defeat uncertainty, honor is stepping up when no one calls out need

honor is the first step the hand extended and the concomitant
electric shock that traverses two hands in a shake that obviates
unnecessary words
like thank you

which why gods stumble, get lost, they only get praise conferred
but honor belongs only to us humans,
to give honor.
that’s power gods don’t got,
why they oft get lost

so thank you for staying with me this far,
you honor me by listening to an old man
seizing up when his mind asks him direct

did you live with honor,
and tho the summing up s’ain’t over,
(lol laughing, at the ain’t autocorrect),
at least now I know what to count,
what counts,
doing the unnecessary unasked
in small ways, a quieter doing good,
honor needs two and starts when you say hey
hey you...


*7:36am Saturnday  2+10+18
Shabbat Shekalim
writ without disguise
There's no mountain to high nor no ocean to wide, I'll do what ever it takes cause my love don't hide.
No matter where you are the distants I'll take, just to prove to you that my love ain't fake.
You never have to worry about me leaving am there, I'll place your heart under fragile care.
Some nights my heart cries itself to sleep, because it desires for you to be next to me.
If I had one wish no doubt it's you, cause am longing to do the things you want me too.
When ever you smile you brighten up my day, the beauty that you have is like heaven on display.
Each day my heart desires to love you more, cause my love is not only real it's pure.
There's something hidden so deep inside, my desire awaits like the changing tide.
FESTIVAL OF LIGHTS*
  
May countless lights
Show delightful sights:
May there be no threats
Of ****** fights,
No clouds of smoke,  
No smell of sulphur,
No noise of gunfire,
No scenes of ruined homes
And orphans' cries
And parents' heart-rending wails,
No sorrow that dims the light
In anyone's eyes.
May the light of knowledge and wisdom
Illumine the path to happiness:
May the light of joy and love
Sparkle in everyone's eyes
In every humble home.
May our fervent prayer -
Lead mankind from darkness to Light'
"Tamasoma Jyothirgamaya."
May all nations together strive
To pave the way to harmony and peace.
                  
M.G.N.Murthy
Hyderabad, India
FE,STIVAL OF LIGHTS (Deepaavali) is celebrated all over India on 30 October 2016.  
*A line from the ancient Vedic prayer.(Sanskrit)..."Lead us from darkness to Light".

— The End —