A series of  Acrostic poems noting the healing properties of the crystals to the Zodiacal signs. .
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Capricorn  ♑️  December 23-January 20.
~~~~~~~~
Capricornian don’t mind me. I can’t live as you.
As you have the highest of standards always.
Peridot,Garnets, Agate or Turquoise to wear
Ruby’s grace a  beautiful young maidens hair.
I see the jewels in your eyes when you smile
Carnelian stones or Malachite for soul healing
Or Jet ,Smokey Quartz or shiny Black Onyx.
Red Garnets,Blue Aragonite,Green Tourmaline
Nonsuch is the birth symbol ,graceful as thee
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aquarius ♒️  January 21 -February 19
~~~~~~~
Aquarius the symbolism for the water carrier.
Quite an important member of our community
Under spells by an association of the heart
Aquarian crystals are Garnets and Amethyst
Rainbow moonstone, Labradorite, Magnetite
I would buy thee Lithium Quartz ,Moss agate.
Under your care placing Crysoprase n Cryolite
Some Rainforest Jasper for love of this lady.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pisces ♓️  February 20 - March 20
~~~~~
Pisces are healed by birthstones of Amethyst
In tune also with Turquoise,Aquamarine,Amber
Sapphires,Sunstones,Smithsonite, Labradorite
Chrysoprase of green, Ocean Jasper, Flurite
Especially Bluelace Agate,Rainbow Moonstone
Stones Charolite, Calcite,Ametrine,Bloodstone.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aries ♈️  March 21 -April 20
~~~~
Aries children tackle life head on.
Ruby,Diamond,Amethyst and bloodstone
I know she’s into Aquamarine and Tourmaline
Especially pink, Dravite aka Tourmaline brown
Stellerite, Sardonyx , Citrine, Kunzite n Axinite
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Taurus ♉️  April 21 -May 21
~~~~~
Tourean girls have an inbuilt stubbornness
And are partial to the birthstone Sapphire
Understanding An Emerald and Aquamarine
Rhodonite, Amber,Lapis Lazuli and Tiger’s Eye
Universal faith in crystal’s Kayanite n Kunzite
Spiritually in tune with Carnelian

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gemini ♊️ May 22 -June 21.
~~~~~
Gemini never grow up.They are so  flirtatious
Ever wooing and seducing their audiences
Moonstone,Agate,Aquamarine,Tigers Eye
Into the healing powers of Chrystoprase stone
Naturally Green Tourmaline and Serpentine
I also see Anyolite, Citrine,Thulite and Variscite
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cancer  ♋️  June 22 - July 23
~~~~~~
Cancerarians are high on the emotional scale.
And they benefit from Emeralds and Rubies
Natural Amber,Rhodonite ,Rainbow Moonstone
Chrysoprase,Carnelian, Citrine, Moss Agate.
Even with the beautiful crystal Fire Agate
Ruby stone and Pink Tourmaline healing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Leo ♌️  July 24- August 23
~~~
Leo has birthstones of Onyx, Peridot,Ruby,
Even Turquoise,Amber,Citrine,Larimar,Petalite
Or Fire Agate,Red Garnet,Sunstones,Sardonyx
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Virgo ♍️  August 24-September 23
~~~~
Virgo needs be a person advocating virginity
I know because I have fusion and experience.
Realistically fusing together two personalities
God knows n loves my approach and approves
Of Peridot,Carnelian, Blue Sapphire,Tourmaline
      Of Green ........
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Libra ♎️  September 24-October 23
~~~~
Libra uses healing properties of Lapis Lazuli
In Peridot,& Sapphires, Aquamarine stones
Bloodstones,Emerald stones, Sunstones,
Rainbow Moonstones, Morganite, Lepidolite
Aventurine,
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Scorpio ♏️  October 24- November 22.
~~~~~
Scorpio needs the healing of Aquamarine
Charolite, Turquoise, Malachite or Emerald
Obsidian Black , Golden Topaz and Boji Stone
Ruby, Lapis Lazuli,Green Tourmaline,Kunzite
Peridot , Rainbow Moonstone, Rhodochrosite.
I know of Variscite Hiddenite n Apache tears.
Or Herkimer Diamond ,Hiddenite , or Variscite
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sagittarius ♐️  November 23- December 22
~~~~~~~~~~
Sagittarius is so joyous and very fun loving
Amethyst,Turquoise,Lapis Lazuli n Blue Topaz
Grace her body with healing properties now.
I recommend Azurite stone, Blue lace Agate
Tourmaline pink, Malachite, n Yellow Sapphire
Topaz of white and beautiful Ruby Stones
A Zircon Crystal and Snowflake Obsidian
Rich Merlinite, Labralite ,Dioptase n Charolite
In these healing crystals wear them with faith
Understanding the powers the Universe grants
Sacred is the space that you take upon Earth.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Written and inspired by Sacred Space.
Shop 10 /74-78 The Corso , Manly , 2095 NSW . Australia. Louise Winchester.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Written by Philip.
December 2018.
~~~~~~~~~~~~

The small rock representing your birth
engraved deep into a necklace
proving your worth
to the world
and to you

you,
the one sitting there
staring out into a moonlit sky
the thousands of twinkling stars
dapple the sky
as the whooshing wind whispers
belonging

You
the proud dark eyed girl
standing tall along an old wooded pier
the spray of the sea splatters your face with its salt
bellowing waves crash underneath your feet
shouting,
You belong

And You
are still here
one of many
on this earth
loved and guided
through this life and to the next
and you,
**belong

I spotted a peridot
Within those stones
Which I have bought
Only to be shown

Since you love stones
Especially from the lakes
This one stone alone
Is obviously not fake

My birthstone gem
A shiny little stone
Ain't from a clam
This one is my own...*


©sim

The height of her heels
    Shrunk with every passing year.
Each "December", torn away from the calender
   Was a buzz saw, sometimes taking a sixteenth of an inch,
   And during winters that seemed particularly cold to her bones
   Nearly a quarter of an inch would be devoured by time's steady march.

At 18 her heels were confident, tall, strong,
   Proud pillars supporting the pantheon,
   Complete with Houdini-zippers and unnecessary birthstone buttons.
The Uncomfortable beds
   Of the comfort class.

At 26 her friends whispered,
   With martini breath,
   That they could swear that she had shrunk.
One suggested that she had simply adopted a new hairstyle.
After all, who has time to daily consort with the curling iron
   And still make the 6:47?
Good friends make for the worst critics.

At 41, on certain nights,
   Like when the Jove's had their annual tree-trimming party,
   Believable sources say she could still be be seen
   With 1/4 inch tree-trunks beneath her feet.
There were no buttons or zippers any longer,
   To announce her presence as made her across linoleum deserts
   Towards the desserts.
Her footprint was further softened
   By the Doctor-demanded cushion,
   Which eased the weathering toll of
   Each.
   Next.
   Step.
Everyone at the part paid words to her image:
   "Such soft skin."
   "Eyes that look truer blue after each blink."
   "Pilates or Yoga?  I have to know you secret."
But none of the husband saw her on their eyelids
    As they masturbated in the shower that night.

At 70 her wrinkled dignified carriers
   Were most at home in slippers.
She rarely removed them,
   'Cept when she let her toes soak like veteran driftwood
   In a well deserved baby warm tub.
For some reason the "News" insisted on covering award ceremonies
   And she would always feel a sharp
   Pain ping-pong between her heel and toenails
   As she watched the young actresses climb each step towards the podium.
She would still go out, now and then,
   But nobody noted the style or color that her feet were wrapped in.
   Why would they?
For the record:
   Plain, black, flats.
   Appropriately

She died at 82
   And although the casket was closed,
   It can be taken on good authority
   That this regal eagle of a woman
   Was buried barefoot.

I like to think that she is flexing her feet
   Somewhere eternal,
   Just to see how the sand feels
   Between her toes

Escape

Everyone has dreamed of fleeing to a south sea island setting on the beach in the moonlight. The softest glow pervades all, our guarded defenses evaporate as the moon’s power effect not only the tide even our over active human drive slips into neutral. With our mind we become part of the sea breezes unchecked scoundrels of the universe vagabonds who live for living’s sake not the face of an angry clock these stolen moments we won’t surrender catch us if you can but your net will have to be worldwide we clear the break waters we feel the power that freedom alone can announce with arching sling we shoot through the sky not an observer but our own shooting star. Look quickly in the cloud covered mist yes with perfection fitted the wild island nation of Madagascar go back to its beginnings look through times mist see the people of Austronesia arriving on outrigger canoes watch the birth of an island nation unfold for the first time understand who you are and whose image you are made in you are sons and daughters of the very God of heaven. Go on streak through the wild blue to long you have been tied to earths restraints step up steer into the unknown you were given dominion when he without beginning or end startled the formless void with the power of his voice he made a world a universe for you and me. His design was that you would rule this kingdom and always it would be the birthstone of adventure and comfort not a prison but a garden. Trackless waste in an instant you can change your transportation from ship to hot air drift inland to Africa’s sense of raw and pure delights take your ease over rolling hill and plain. This is freedoms oratory no zoos or bars the great herds follow the migratory paths that there kind have known from the beginning. Real men stood here the native Maasai warrior his spear his staff the **** his bread for glory of a wild domain he was bred. Not all can be surveyed in one night that is what lifetimes are for the moon now gives way to twilight it wasn’t fantasy or a dream you are men and women conquers of supreme destines one stipulation it only comes to those that fight and won’t except the norm. Lives for you to command don’t allow any one that right you are the beacon God chose for this time don’t be a disappointment how pleased this would make our enemies.

Taurus ♉️
~~~~~
Tourean girls have an inbuilt stubbornness
And are partial to the birthstone Sapphire
Understanding An Emerald and Aquamarine
Rhodonite, Amber,Lapis Lazuli and Tiger’s Eye
Universal faith in crystal’s Kayanite n Kunzite
Spiritually in tune with Carnelian and Azurite.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Written by Philip.
December 22nd 2018.

Escape

Everyone has dreamed of fleeing to a south sea island setting on the beach in the moonlight. The softest glow pervades all, our guarded defenses evaporate as the moon’s power effect not only the tide even our over active human drive slips into neutral. With our mind we become part of the sea breezes unchecked scoundrels of the universe vagabonds who live for living’s sake not the face of an angry clock these stolen moments we won’t surrender catch us if you can but your net will have to be worldwide we clear the break waters we feel the power that freedom alone can announce with arching sling we shoot through the sky not an observer but our own shooting star. Look quickly in the cloud covered mist yes with perfection fitted the wild island nation of Madagascar go back to its beginnings look through times mist see the people of Austronesia arriving on outrigger canoes watch the birth of an island nation unfold for the first time understand who you are and whose image you are made in you are sons and daughters of the very God of heaven. Go on streak through the wild blue to long you have been tied to earths restraints step up steer into the unknown you were given dominion when he without beginning or end startled the formless void with the power of his voice he made a world a universe for you and me. His designed you this kingdom rule and always it will be the birthstone of adventure and comfort not a prison but a garden. Trackless waste in an instant you can change your transportation from ship to hot air drift inland to Africa’s sense of raw and pure delights take your ease over rolling hill and plain. This is freedoms oratory no zoos or bars the great herds follow the migratory paths that there kind have known from the beginning. Real men stood here the native Maasai warrior his spear his staff the **** his bread for glory of a wild domain he was bred. Not all can be surveyed in one night that is what lifetimes are for the moon now gives way to twilight it wasn’t fantasy or a dream you are men and women conquers of supreme destines one stipulation it only comes to those that fight and won’t except the norm. Lives for you to command don’t allow any one that right you are the beacon God chose for this time don’t be a disappointment how pleased this would make our enemies.

My birthstone shudders as I
Hit the sky's floor.

"What's your birthstone?  
I don't know, Oh, I know--it's rock."

Black rocks baking in the sun
dot this beach
Like chocolate chips in the dough
They call to us
Come climb,
Come hop on us
Find treasures hidden behind and between
All our dark shadows,

Lying as still as stone
A large rock shape,
Oh, it's grayer
and duller,
and there's sand sprinkled on it,
And it's moving!
It's Living Rock,
The monk seal napping
from its morning meal.

Yes- we watch others walk right by him
caught in their words,
Unaware of the living amongst the rocks,
Living Rock doesn't care
His belly is full

Gray sleek shape
massaged by the wind
with feast in your belly,
So mighty tired!
You taste your sleep for days,
Clouds cover the day's starlight you seek,
Your body begs for light, and yet
Nobody can wake you from your slumber
Not even the high pitched voices
of children playing
nor the fishing lines in and out of the tide

What of your dreams
Oh Large Gray Rock
Do you dream of the ocean tossing
Fish  into your mouth?
Or of the warm sun coming
to bake your skin?

The salt water dances up your nostrils,
You lift your head in mild protest
Then let it rest on your
Ancient bed of coral and shell bones
My feet love to dig into your bed

No insomnia for you sea creatures,
Maybe I should count monk seals
Instead of sheep when I want to sleep,
Your body clock measures time
Not in days or hours
But in meals, in hunts
In fullness, in emptiness
Your sleep is well earned
My friend

We can learn from you.
You bask, dream,
Then awaken renewed
To taste your ocean again,

I was made in Satan's image
Lucifer gave me eyes of green
I was birthed in a boiling ***
in some blackened tar pit scene

I was given claws engraven
and placed into a grey stone bed
and sometimes when bear my soul
my pearly white skin blazes red

I was crafted with Beelzebub's birthstone
and blessed with a poisoned mouth
but I was told to keep it shut
or Satan says he'll drag me south

I was made in Satan's image
but for once I long to be pure as snow
but Satan tells me I'm a demon
and I'll never go where angels go

I jumped on a trampoline with my sister for the first time today since I was a girl.
It was a strange feeling.
We were closer for an instant
like we were girls again
like each jump towards the sun lightened us
like gravity loosened up a bit
like he laughed
and oh we laughed and laughed and laughed and LAUGHED
the sun wasn't quite ready to set and the leaves were emerald like her birthstone and her hair was long again
and her heart soft and her smile not straight
her fiance looked like Tarzan, the young cartoon one.

i think i know that she's right to marry him
because he felt right on that trampoline
with us girls
like he belonged
like he was always a part of our childhood

i think that's how you know you've found "the one"
when even the memories they weren't apart of
feel like they were experienced together
when you can't remember what it was like without them
when memories of moments in their absence cease to exist

I have a hard time remembering my own childhood.
I wonder what that means...

Drenches half music blues
Paints my eyes his drips of two's
Like a software of compliance
Superior-what's inside
Interior-Inferior-Exterior
  Calmness-Family-Bless

Providence--resilience  
Anxiety you can tell
  at a glance
In a state of anxiety  
Nature calls cleansing
rinse
A world of society

Sacredly*
               Tiredly
                           World
          Inconsistent
What is at state?
No greener pasture
Present the future

Craziness high anxiety fire
More jobs to hire
Paints- birthstone- sapphire
Picture memories
  to capture  
Anxiety like sanity
Paints wellness next to
       Godliness

Eyes weaken but your heart
      Glistens

I want to draw a sugar fish
Atop of your cheekbone
So it can swim along with tears
And land on your birthstone
I wish to sketch an elephant
Amongst your dainty teeth
So you will never dare forget
That tongue that’s underneath
I need to paint a teakettle
Between your knobby knees
For every time it whistles
You will meet a gentle breeze
But instead your hand picked up a pen
Then turned it to my palm
At once I knew you didn’t need
My brushstrokes to feel strong

A ring of natural perfume is adorned on you neck
like the sweet dew of April mornings.

Chains of daisies and dandelions,
which hold a thousand wishes each,
connects like bonds created by
you and me.

Let my hair fall
and inhale comforting bliss
while exhaling bothersome regrets.

Watch the sun kiss the earth goodnight
as it lets the sky open
to glittering stars.

None are capable of outshining the twinkle in your eye
or the shine of those soft lips.

None can compare to you,
an April diamond,
flawless and perfect to many

Smooth edges and clear soul,
a birthstone destines to resonate
within the heart, soul, and mind.

The day I entered this world, my eyes lit up.
They were a shade of blue that you only see in baby dolls and colored contacts.
Like my birthstone, aquamarine flood my eyes and breathe life into the souls around me.
I was bright blue, like the pure water I was baptized in.
Blue like the baby blankets they give you at hospitals.
The blue that no one can argue with, because everyone thinks blue is beautiful.

One day, I morphed into yellow.
I was the dandelions I made into flower crowns
and the banana Laffy Taffy that always stuck to my pants.
I was yellow sundresses, bright sunlight, and a warm smile.
My hair was the color of a wheat field.
One of my first words was “lellow.”
Lellow like Big Bird and banana runts.
The idea of something so bright, something so happy, soothed my childish brain.

There was a time when I was green.
Like the green of St. Patrick’s day, which I never dressed up for.
I was always pinched.
Green like the baseball diamonds I spent hours on as I watched my brother.
I was the grass I laid in, the grass I played in.
I was the green of an aging plant.
You could see colors swirling in intricate patterns throughout my mind.
The green of maturity;
of gears turning in my head.

Green turned to purple when I was uprooted from my home.
Omaha to Lincoln hit me like a lack of oxygen and turned me purple.
Just like a body without air, my limbs turned dark.
I was purple, like every middle school girl’s favorite color.
The purple of painted fingernails thumbing through Victoria’s Secret magazines.
The purple of trying to fit in with new friends.
I was the purple of colliding galaxies.
My brain was confused. They were making me something new.
They put me in purple high heels and pushed me forward.
“Learn how to walk,” they said.
Everything was the artificial grape that still makes me cringe.
Sometimes, I taste the purple Koolaid on my stained lips.

I’m glad my soul is done being black.
Black like the empty demon eyes that stared at me.
Like the pen that cracked in half and watched its ink flow.
Black like Sharpie tattoos and chokers.
Black mascara tear stains that burned my skin.
I fell deep into the night and into the abyss.
It was so dark that no one saw me fall.
I was blind with only a hint of yellow starlight to guide me.
So I followed it out.
I tracked the starlight through the night.
It was never easy. Sometimes I fell down and was dragged backwards.
But I finally left black.
I’m not all the way back to yellow yet, but at least I’m not black.

Now, I am white.
I am all of my colors wrapped into one.
I am the good and the bad, the clean and the impure.
At first glance, I am a blank page.
I appear to be a paper with no scratches, no eraser lines, no marks of red pens or bright highlighters.

But I am grape Koolaid stains.
I am hands covered in smears of black ink that cover my mouth.
Sometimes, I still eat Laffy Taffy and lemon lollipops.
I climb up tall trees and bask in the glow of leaves in the sunlight to learn something new.
I stare at the blue sky to remember what it feels like to fly.
I am a rainbow, hidden behind an expanse of white.

the salty smell of summer beaches,
and crashing ocean waves.
a clear autumn sky,
and september’s birthstone sapphire.
crisp winter air,
and cold stinging against your skin.
vibrant hydrangeas in spring bloom,
your eyes that last time in may,
and the salty taste of tears.

Volume I – Awakening
In sleep, her thoughts crossed all dimensions steep.
Rested souls collect aged feelings through faith.
Her breaths slowly brought forth life from the deep.
Dreams and nightmares ceased here like a dark wraith.
Uneasiness stirring in her soul's debts.
Darkness clawing, her spirit now unfurled.
Reawakened through plagued, darkened onsets,
She found herself alone in this false world.
Lucidity sparking with thoughts of "Why?"
Contemplation flaring, questioning "What?"
"The first step is the hardest," they did lie,
For trekking this wasteland opened a cut.
Years of confined thought now gone from this zone—
He suddenly grasped her hand with his own.

Volume II – Potential
Burning brightly, lavender eyes scanned her
As her own sight of faded gold quivers.
A solitary voice, ruffled as fur.
"What is your name, child of deathly shivers?"
Her lips trembled with worries of unknown,
"Your presence makes me feel ever unsafe."
Violet irises with doubt renown,
"'Tis you—not I—who should worry right now."
His hand smoothed her hair slowly like a dove.
His tone spears the void sharp—his words dictate,
"Do you know what you are capable of?
The powers you hold will eradicate."
Incessant speeches fearfully incur
The future which he now entrusts to her.

Volume III – Transformation**
He raised his hands which sheathed a lustrous light.
Within his palm—a fragmented stone jewel.
"This amethyst awakens overnight
And will be the catalyst of your rule."
He spoke in calm despite her confusion
As he gave her the shining bright birthstone.
Oh, how it resonated, infusion
With her soul and aura becoming known.
As his stature faded to white, his voice
Flew through the sky, her now lilac eyes bright.
"Intervened, your destiny has no choice—
With my eyes now, spill her blood by dawn's light."
Through the mirror, they meet; pure aria
Of fate now shifts her name—Samathia.

Date a boy who makes you happy, but marry him only if he makes you laugh deep-belly rumbles that hurt your ribs as they expand outwards. Date him when he sees that you’re hurting and he gives you a moment to feel that pain like a handprint spreading across your consciousness, marry him only if he can make you smile even while you’re gross sobbing. The world is not a kind place. You will feel a lot of pain. Make sure you are with someone who makes it all bearable. Humor is an excellent gauge of intelligence. Life gets boring. Find someone who makes the banal interesting.
2. Make sure he has scars on the back of his hands, it’s a good sign he has experience either fighting or making things - creation is an act of selflessness and bruised knuckles are a good sign he knows how to defend himself. You’ve got too much soul to be handled by someone who has never been passionate. If he’s never thrown a punch, let him at least have tasted the insanity of bringing an idea into existence. Rough palms are better than soft ones, they have been salted by this earth and made into leather. Callouses are evidence he has lived, that he has broken skin and been in pain over and over and over again and still came back to the source of it. People rub against each other. Don’t marry him if he can’t handle even a little blister.
3. Before you say yes, get him angry. See him scared, see him wanting,see him sick. Stress changes a person. Find out if he drinks and if he does, get him drunk - you’ll learn more about his sober thoughts. Discover his addictions. See if he puts you in front of them. You can’t change people, baby girl. If they are made one way, it doesn’t just wear off. If you hate how he acts when he’s out of it now, you’re going to hate it much worse eight years down the road. You might love him to bits but it doesn’t change that some people just don’t fit.
4. Trust your instincts. If he ever makes you feel unsafe, don’t make excuses, just get up and leave. That’s all there is to it. It’s better to be safe than sorry.
5. If he puts money before you, he’ll keep pushing you to the bottom of the pile until you become his last priority. It’s one thing if he can’t afford what you want, it’s another if he has the cash but won’t spring for a box of chicken mcnuggets. Money and love are arch enemies. 62% of divorces occur due to economic strain. Make sure keeping you is more important than his 401k.
6. How a man treats animals is a good indicator of how he treats children. If you see him raise a hand to a dog, pack your things into a little black bag. Animals at their worst are only half as annoying as a toddler on their best behaviour. Your kids will be beautiful, but they will also misbehave. Same goes for waiters and hotel maids - if he’s rude to those who are working for minimum wage, it says a lot about how he sees himself. Patience is rare and so important. If he’s not forgiving to a dog, he’s not good for your kids.
7. If he isn’t in awe of you, he doesn’t deserve you. You are my little girl and you were born perfect. If he can’t see that, it’s his loss. There is someone who thinks your flaws power his heart. Be strong. If he asks you to change, be like like rock of your birthstone, do not waver. You are wondrous just the way that you are.

Rubies are dun, or red as blood,
Opals are blue, opaque, or fire
I know they burn through me,
7 opals in my favorite necklace,
14 in my favorite bracelet,
3 in my favorite earrings,
I encase myself in the flames, like they define me,
Like my birthstone is as much me as I am the earth,
And my own tainted pyre.
And I burn, burn, through all of the old photographs,
Sending them up to the goddess as ash-
Burn, burn, through old cigar boxes, through liquor bottles
And dried flowers and my father's shirts,
And my father's old camera,
And my father's old ideals for who I was to be,
Someone I will never become,
I tore through it all, razed the past to the ground,
And I blistered my fingers, I tore the love letters,
I put the stories written for me, into the ocean,
I sent my farewell postcards for them, upon the rocky shore,
I cried as I watched them torn and taken,
But nobody loves me anymore,
And I burn, burn, like the brightest of opals,
Green with envy like the jade my father stole
Red with rage like Gerry's birth stone and I
But I've made my choices, after all,
So I burn.

Face down on the concrete.
I’m here again,
I'm not drunk this time (pats self on the back)
But is this any better?
 
Not drunk but
Numb again.
I'm out here
Lying with the cigarette butts
Useless.
 
You always said you felt useless.
You would talk about how you don't belong here and
All you could feel was my hand in yours. 
But that doesn't make any sense to me.
If I made you feel again, then where are you?
You sure as hell aren't here.
We were helping each other.
I guess you don't need help anymore.
But I do.
 
I am so different from the sky,
It shines purple and orange and
Laughs at me as I lie here.
And the morning air tastes like what joy might taste like to most people.
 
These cars aren’t yours.
I wish they were.
Maybe that would make me smile,
Seeing your car again.
These cars are black and white.
Yours is red and bright and wonderful.
 
You should come,
And park in this garage.
There is grass out there,
It’s green and shiny
Like your birthstone.
 
Will you help me up please?
It is scary not feeling the ground,
I don’t like it here.
I wonder if you worry about me.
 
 
It's not your fault
It's mine.
I think.
At least that's what I keep telling myself.
That way I'm the one hurting me
So you can still be perfect in my eyes.
 
I remember your smile,
And my insides warm, and my heart rises from its hole
Like bread rising in an oven.
 
Your smile reminds me to feel but
The garage floor is still cold and
It creeps onto my skin.
I'm shaking.
 

When will I see your car again?

i don't have a lot
of things

i had always wanted
a birthstone ring
and one was gifted
once upon a time

it was my most
prized possession

but when my eldest
daughter
started high school
i noticed
she needed something

i gave the ring to her

the gifter did not understand
how i could give away
the gift
if i loved him

and today my youngest
going through
some old jewelry boxes
noticed how
i give things away

and looking around the room
i realized all the tiny little things
my grandmother gave me
growing up

my most treasured things
made me feel loved

*i don't have much
but if i love you
it is yours

We look
We React
Blue eye contact
So many living things
that shine and the dull lost soul
Why don't we have control
We bloom morning glory
flowers grow and then they
have nothing to show
More people grow perhaps
they lost their fire
Wanting to reach
our goal but do
we really get higher

Something is about her
movements of love desire
The life I azure it's not
beautifying allure
Like a dead weight not pure
Or velocity blue vivid
We need to outlive it vitality
But life has somehow changed
our minds to the
mental attitude
of mentality

And it's not
so pretty not
a Pop Art
you're a pop pill
feeling

Getting warm or wait hot I don't think so
All frozen and what a blue haze chill
Ladies, we feel the
Blues Billy Holiday
The good morning heartache
moon to raise the dusk
the deep end of your mind,
not Good morning Viet Nam
With Robin Williams
what a fine actor
How the
illness gets
so out of
body and mind the factor

We need a friend not to hinder
Better teacher
the mentor
to better
understand our task

Living on the moody edge,
I azure there are many risks.
Or not wanting to even brush your hair
you hardly sleep.

And you're never hungry to eat.
You’re feeling so much frustration
like you have nothing to live for.

How things are in our head
I'm not dead yet
  You didn’t
want to
even pick that ripe
beauty
blueberry off the floor.

You
And I
I phone cry
Something ripe you
couldn’t pick yourself up
Like the serene
mystical forest
you could envision
but you picked all
the sad blue
being squashed
so lifeless
the colors
Nothing could
ever feel
the brightness in you

Why is everything blue,
blueberries and sapphires
so invitingly rich the finer things
were drowning you so way
down becoming
all tasteless and your eyes
were looking
at them with dullness?
You started
to feel like
Heads and tails a dime

So isolated and
living in poverty.
You felt less
than desirable

“Hello Yellow” sunshine
you were getting
more miserable
Is it all about the blues?

Or when you
really got to think
more clearly this was not
your time, for you to open
the happiness door.

Your hands look lifeless
like your head could hit a
the floor you stroke the brush of paint
but your mind is spinning like a
paint wheel. You cannot feel anything,
but pain, far from your funny times,
of a “Ferris Wheel” but your
moods go up and down

But
But what?
But>>..but---but I have something to say
no one but again but no one smiles or there
not listening to another but
you’re at home but it feels but_
I am trying to tell you what?
You are only a possession that means
something everything is one color
blue even your phone
You’re feeling’s
got caught into
one mood of a vibe

And who really are you?
You were feeling so distant
like an alien from another tribe
I azure no seizure greener pasture
may not be truer but I am the
Saphire birthstone bluer

How your soul releases
something it penetrates
everything but the problem is there
Like a distortion, the distraction,
you cannot think the way you want to
You cannot get satisfaction
Your young but not alive
having the worst abortion

“Byzantine” high up in the mezzanine
Sad clock so blue it's 9 Oh! No
The sad clown he skipped some towns
blue the deep purple-blue like a
hypnotic feeling but sad
You almost feel
helpless like
a fatality no
purity so much pain,

you cannot even
concentrate to
go to business.
Everyone was
wearing a blue suit
I only wanted to see
the other colors to shine my suit
Around you, it felt like a  shrine
of ghost
you were saying
where are the businesses?

“The Great Depression”
the government needing
help and all of us we got brutality
Like the second key causes,
the first key to be raised with
so many questions are we getting
help with the right answers

The  Antidepressant who say
happiness is a drug in this sense
it would be the reversal
almost like a curse but worse

Life can get
more dysfunctional
more chemical imbalances
feeling the cold weather and things
are going to hell not feeling any better
What we need is love the sun
a yellow mix of brightness.
And God what he needs to tell you

We need to face it canvas in an insane asylum.
waiting for Autumn leaves
but they fall on my face I
need the Godly sun
to take its place
You couldn’t deal with it like the
“Ice Queen” you became and
dampness touched your face
Then it kicked in but I azure you
“I’m Blue” like a symbol it builds
up more depression arrives
I azure you additions
ups and down
bipolar bear the polar
getting a tooth
pulled such pain
in one molar

The depression of darkness like a
horse with no harness?
How it raises our blood flow
but why can’t I be the
Lady in Red so bold and vibrant?
My perfect fit got blue Cinderella shoe?

Will my Prince ever come to me and what will he understand?

I azure you to appreciate
what life has to offer
Look up at the blue sky
I am right there, but don’t ask why
We are a life full of colors remember
to pick yours wisely.

Within a cool summer breeze
Laid a meadow where grass grew
No animals in sight and with it no trees
Above was nothing except the vast beautiful blue
In this land of forgotten memories
Three doors stood so brown and new

Years and years passed unseen
Until a young girl came one day
Her figure was amazingly lean
And produced a great display
With a birthstone of tourmaline
Her cheerful days has deplenished away

As she came to the first door
The scenes showed her miserable past
Starring at the pictures as she abhor
Being hurt and hated and harassed
As delinquents attacked her heart and tore
Leaving her determinations and desires so vast

She glanced away and continued on
The next door's wiring seemed to be loose
For it was blurry when came upon
Known as a hermit by remaining recluse
With all the negativity she drawn
No one seeing the frames of abuse

Trying to forget the past and present
She fearfully beheld her final dare
Standing there with such tremendous resent
Enraged her with darkness and despair
Seeing only a still event
Of the color black flooding everywhere

Deciding which door to overwrite
She choose none to reside
The girl left the meadow in fright
Feeling unwanted as she cried
So on a cold winter night
She committed suicide

My August birthstone.
Stripes of golden Jupiters;
Storms of Summers' Suns.