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Alexandria Hope Jun 2020
Rip open my veins, blood-stained teeth bare
Snapping ribs as you unwrap them-
Crawl inside, child. Home.
Two beating hearts as one
Blistering beneath a polluted sky
You are as hard to look upon as the sun,
My one biggest lie
I need you I need you I need you

But glazed eyes, dried tears and split seams,
I could never keep you
Alexandria Hope May 2020
My light shines from within, weather or wither
Though it seems to shine lighter when I am watched by others
Than when I alone am watching my candlelight flicker
Aching for the bonfire I was
When we were together.
Alexandria Hope Apr 2020
It's a little bit cathartic and it's a lot a bit sad,
I try to move on I try to sing with all I have
It's a little bit cathartic and it's a lot a bit sad,
You can't choose the hand you're dealt
But you can hold onto all you have

You can try to make the best of it
You can try to dwell in the worst of it
But after all we've been through
It's hard to say what choice is made,
Is for the best

From the bottom of my breast I wish and hope you did all you could
With what you had, what you were given
I hope you know how to play the hand that you were dealt
I wish you well
I wish the world would understand you like they don't understand me
I wish and hope

It's a little bit cathartic it's a little bit hard

But I've been on my own since I started and I'm telling you
You can stand
With a better footing than I had
(but it makes me mad)

But I know you'll continue on
And you'll be strong
And all of this will be a footnote in your story

While I keep writing sonnets and poems and poetry-
Wishing I could insert me into your narrative

I know it's a little bit cathartic and I know it's a lot a bit sad
But you were all I had

And now I'll watch you from far away
Cursing the mistakes you make
And how you made me into this
Hateful sadfull wraith

But it's a little bit cathartic. I'm a little bit healed.
And it's a lot a bit sad, but I've been wallowing too long
And now I want to stand
Like you
And god, all the thing's you'll do

I know you'll do them well
Well I, I don't know from here
Alexandria Hope Apr 2020
The world is in upheaval
If one more person leaves I'll-
Find myself in a trash fire
God I've been building my funeral pyre
For so many years / I don't know how to not /
Let everything I touch burn

And I yearn
For a day and a time and a place and a people and a community
Where I'll not be in such upheaval
But I don't see it happening any time soon
So I'll burn
And let it all consume
In fire I can't control
I know

's all I know
But the sticks and stones I built this fire pit-
with
They're falling apart just like everything-
with it
And I don't know where I'm going from here
Please believe me

Somebody listen
God hear my smoke signals above
I love, I love, I love
And it isn't ever enough
But I'll keep setting myself on fire,
On fire

And every stone thrown
Every spark
Every dark desire deep in my heart
They fuel the fire burning bright
Beneath me
Believe me

Tied to this godforsaken stake
Filled with hatred they've all made
Me into this
I don't want this
But I'll still strike the ******* match
And hope to god this time it lasts
Cause all I have is fire burning
down

Forsake this awful town!

That's all I have-
Is fear and hate
And all the memories that I've made
And now I'm seeking for something else

I'll drown myself in the deepest lake
I'll try and find some sand- **** - I don't know what else
Puts out fire, when it wants to burn
So let it burn

Exhausted in this ash-filled pit
Trying to dig myself out of it
But all the world is up and gone
And I don't know how to go on

So let it burn, let the fire spread
Let them know the way they've led their life
And all atrocity has fueled this fire in me
Let it burn

Let it burn, let it all be naught but coals
Let all that's left within my heart, burning
And even if I leave this place
I'm leaving it a burned disgrace
And nobody can tell me now
Where to leave the fire.
Or how
Alexandria Hope Apr 2020
Off-color, dun, waste in the tepid air
Keepers and thieves, we are,
With shovels and keys
Grace my grave not, love, I am not there
I know, I know you’re scared
Bile may rise and boil your tears-
Children are better at hiding and seeking,
We, we wretched few-
Follow the notes once sung through our blood
Dusty music-box time capsules
Back to when we couldn’t lose
Unloaded hand in hand, building bridges over
Quicker sands than grains in glass
You took my fingertips, we carved our names into the bark
with the needle-points of ribs

You, you told me we’d go together

I’m sorry it isn’t true
“Here lies, my lullaby”- the skitter of the leaves’ whisper
What did they whisper in your ear?
Of stars and galaxies?

Of a rotten fantasy

Ah, ‘twas the one, of our flat. Off-color, dun,
Baited wasted breath in the tepid air-
Was it of keepers of keys?

No, shovels-

-And thieves?

And thinking I was too young
To love you.
Alexandria Hope Apr 2020
Wake up, mascara streaming, diamonds keep falling down my cheeks
I can't recall crying, I only remember us
And driving through the night, when our play-fighting got real,
When we stopped getting chatty and got too quiet,
Wake up, in the wrong bed, without you, my heart starts to riot
The tears come down, gold and silver and opalescent,
I don't know that either of us meant it, our I Love You's
But I know that I sought you, and for months you were here,
And now you're not.
Alexandria Hope Apr 2020
Love, when we break up, I'll be fine
I'll cry an ocean and go sailing-
I'll turn the page and write a song.
I'll miss you, when you cross the line.

Pray, don't try to charter my course,
I'm only missing things which never came to pass
You're the one I wanted for forever,
I tell the waves, the fish. Laying on my skiff,
Crying stardust, dry and stinging
Reminiscing

But don't worry about me, I'll be fine
I miss the way you said your family was mine,
I miss the smell of snow and melting in the kitchen together,
I miss summer flowers, afternoon showers,
Empty highways, when your friends were mine,
I wonder if they ask you about me..
But I'll be fine.
I'll be fine.
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